Who Prints Cheap T-Shirts?

Will someone turn the fucking Letterkenny episode off!?!

Oh, that was Alex Redding giving yer balls a tug?

No?  Teddy Palmer?  Oh.

My bad dude… being just a fucking nostalgia act… sometimes I get shit mixed up.  Like which one of you decided to wander back into HOW for a big ICONIC pay day after being gone for how fucking long last year?  Honestly what the fuck with these revolving door motherfuckers who come back in outta no where and wanna rip on me for being a nostalgia act.

Running me down for mentioning the many, many accomplishments I have achieved here in HOW when you have done what here Teddy?

He won the LBI last year.

Then named one of his moves after it.

Talk about jacking off to your fucking accomplishments.  Sorry.  Accomplishment.  Cause you certainly didn’t follow that shit up with anything.  You squandered your World Title shot against Farthington and then faded away until you fucked off for months.

Am I looking past you?  Am I looking forward to Mike Best in the fucking finals?

Fuck yeah I am!

Why else am I in this fucking thing?  If not to make it to the finals?  I am going to  Make it to face one of the greatest HOFC fighters of all time.  

Yep, I called my fucking shot Teddy and I’m not fucking sorry.  So don’t patronize me by even suggesting I’d ever walk it the fuck back.  Jiles tried to do the very same thing and I ended his night, his DeNucci Cup with a fucking Game Misconduct.  I’m looking past you and everyone else in this cause to give you or them a single bit of credence or fucking respect would be a disservice to my mindset when I step into that HOFC cage.

This is HOFC you dense motherfucker.  I’m not sit here and quiver over the fact that you won the LBI last year or think that makes you any kind of fucking threat to me.  Cause this ain’t the LBI.  Not even fucking close.  What I will do is treat you like the piece of fucking meat I am going to use to send a message to Mike Best.  Because that is all you’re fucking good for these day Teddy.

You were a cheap pop on the go home show when you were announced for the Battle Royal… which you lost… and you’ll be a cheap win for me as I add your name to the back of my HOFC Nostalgia Tour t-shirt.

Don’t worry buddy, I’ll get ya for cheap when I’m champion.  It’ll be the only way anyone remembers your HOW run this time before to scamper off again in shame.  Maybe something to cover that chest hair up with too.  Pretty sure we gotta pay extra to clean your chest pubes off the fucking HOFC mat.  Especially when their matted down by your fucking blood.

So go ahead, make the rock hard penis jokes.  Sing the EuroTrip song.  Get it all out of your system so we can get to some original shit.  You’re really gonna need to step it fuck up Teddy.  Cause like you said, I’m a fucking nostalgia act here in HOW… I heard all this shit before.  You think you can top ANY of the fucking shit that Mike Best has shat upon me, year after year, after fucking year?!?  Please… just fucking please!

And I’m the delusional one… or at the least more delusional than you?

Now that’s a funny fucking joke.

Way more funny than the “fuckery” towards Jiles two weeks ago though.  Glad ya enjoyed them so much… maybe you can learn a thing or two from them about original content.  Or maybe you just wanna watch another Letterkenny episode instead, fuck if I care.  I’m sure it’s great to relate to a couple of guys who washed out playing hockey just like you.  Maybe after this week I’ll send you a copy of The Wrestler.  Give ya someone new to relate to.

Cause I’ve called my shot and it’s going top shelf Teddy.  I’m moving on to the third round.  End of our story.  You’ll just be left holding your Woodson in your Palmer and stroking it to your own distant memories.  Yep, I’m a dick Teddy… and huge rock hard fucking Woodson and I’m about to fuck all your shit up when you step inside of my fucking world.

Hope you enjoy standing up to shit.