Where the fuck is Zion Sandiego?!

Where the fuck is Zion Sandiego?!

Posted on August 23, 2021 at 10:45 pm by Jace Parker Davidson

“That bitch is going to pay!” I shouted through a strained, weak voice as I marched through the hallways of the Fiserv Forum in Milwaukee.

My match on Refueled 71 had just ended and I made a beeline to my dressing room. I had officials following me asking me if I was alright but I ignored them as I gathered my bag and gripped my HOTv Championship belt. I left the dressing room as quickly as I came while the officials tried to stop me.

“You should at least let the trainer look at you.” One concerned HOW official said as he pointed in the direction of the trainers room.

I had no desire to be in this building or this state any longer than I had to be. I stomped my way down the hall with the wheels of my bag squeaking against the concrete. I made my way out the back exit of the building and towards the Uber that I demanded be called while I was being pulled from the ring ropes. Relieved that I wouldn’t have to wait any longer, I made my way towards the back door of the vehicle but the HOW officials stood in my way.

“Move or die!” I screeched as I raised my right fist into the air.

Not wanting to feel the wrath of a man that was just forced to deepthroat the handle of a microphone, the officials parted like the Red Sea. I swung the door of the Uber open and tossed in my bag before stepping inside. 

“To the airport and step on it!” I croaked from my sore throat as I slammed the door shut.

The driver nodded his head and pulled out of the parking lot leaving the HOW officials behind. While the rest of the world was watching Farthington vs. Jiles from Philly I was rubbing my throat and reaching for my phone. With a swipe or two I was firing off a text message to Redrum to give to Lee.

‘Did you see what that bitch did to me in the ring?’

‘I can’t see shit, dickhead!’

‘She made me deepthroat the handle of a microphone after our match.’

‘I’m tired of you motherfuckers using my titles and equipment in your sexual fetishes. That mic is coming out of your paycheck.’

‘I demand that Elizabeth Dresden be added to the match for the HOTv Championship at Bottomline!’

‘Absolutely fucking not!’

‘Then I want a match against her at the next Refueled.’


‘How the fuck am I supposed to get her back for what she did to me?!’

‘You’re not. You’ve faced the bitch twice and won both times. Move the fuck on and focus on Zion. You’re a Champion, she’s just a replacement pussy. Start acting like it.’

I groaned out loud at Lee’s responses and shoved my phone back into my pocket. Even though I knew he was right the pain in my throat was a constant reminder of the embarrassment that I had suffered tonight. In the grand scheme of things I hadn’t been beat down, kicked out of the Best Alliance, and I had both of my eyes. All things considered it could be worse. I reached over and gripped the HOTv Championship belt onto my lap like it would make me feel better.

“Bad night?” The question came from the driver in the front seat.

I scoffed at the thought of holding a conversation with a mere Uber driver. I really didn’t see what Sutler Reynolds-Kael saw in these damn things.

“I guess it couldn’t have been that bad of a night if you’re holding onto that Championship belt.” The driver said with a chuckle.

“I successfully defended this title tonight.” I sighed as I looked out the window at the scenery passing by. “And I’m supposed to just forget what happened afterwards.”

“What could have happened afterwards to make you feel this down?” The driver questioned trying to pry for more information.

“You wouldn’t want to know.” I muttered under my breath.

“I find that talking sometimes helps.” The driver suggested from behind the wheel.

“Is that so? So your Ph.D in psychology got you as far as driving for Uber I see. You want to know what happened so badly?” I turned my attention from the window to the front of a vehicle. “My opponent being the sore loser and depraved soul that she is, tied me up in the ropes and forced me to deepthroat a microphone handle! Can you understand the embarrassment of having something like that jammed down your throat?!”

“Well, being a proud gay married man I’ve had quite a few things jammed my throat but never a microphone.” The driver chuckled again. “Might have to try that one night…”

I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs but I knew that would just further damage my throat. I gripped my HOTv Championship belt tighter as I enjoyed visions of murdering Elizabeth Dresden in my head.

“Either way you’re Jace Parker Davidson. You’re the greatest HOTv Champion in the history of the company. No one is going to be able to beat you just by laughing at what happened.” The driver advised. “Oh, by the way I’m a huge HOW fan.”

“Lucky me.” I grumbled sarcastically.

“The way I see it you’ve got a big match in Chicago versus Darin Zion for that title of yours.” The driver continued. “That’s where your focus needs to be. Hell, Eli didn’t even make the Bottomline card. So out of sight, out of mind.”

“Like Zion or anyone else I face, moving forward isn’t going to constantly remind me of what happened.” The simple thought annoyed me to no end.

“You had rainbow colored hair at one point and it was all people could talk about. You still went onto dominate HOW winning numerous titles. This will be no different.” The driver reassured me.

I would take all the lame jokes and trash talk Zion would undoubtedly throw my way heading into Bottomline. After that I would ram my boot through the back of his skull so hard that he’d be able to taste the dog shit I would step in outside of the Best Arena. I hadn’t faced Zion in a one on one match since 2016 but it was my job to defeat him. My HOTv Championship will not lose prestige by letting someone like Zion hold it. I refuse to let HOW and it’s Network be represented by someone that willing calls himself #RallyZion.

This time I put an end to the sad disappointment that is Darin Zion.


Thankfully my flight back to Miami was peaceful and uneventful. I couldn’t wait to jump into the shower and wash the stench of Milwaukee off of my body. I stepped out of the taxi pulling my bag behind me. The HOTv Championship belt laid comfortably over top of the bag. I made my way to my front door as the taxi pulled off. I reached into my pocket for my keys to unlock the door and enter inside. I tossed my keys in the bowl by the entrance and slammed the door shut. I walked into the living room to find Carmen sitting on the couch watching tv.

“Well welcome home…” Carmen could barely contain her laughter. “Deepthroat Davidson!” Carmen cackles with laughter at what happened after my match.

“Is that any way to talk to your boss and the man that lets you live in his house?” I grunted as Carmen continued to laugh.

“I’m sorry I can’t hear you.” Carmen tries to compose herself for a moment. “Maybe you need to speak into the microphone!” And right back into hysterics Carmen went.

“You’re being very Zion-ish with your jokes right now.” I protested.

“Okay okay, I know you had it rough out there.” Carmen said in the most compassionate voice she could muster. “Next time relax your throat and try using fewer teeth. It’ll go down smoother that way.”

“Oh, fuck off.” I hissed as I made my way into the kitchen as Carmen continued laughing.

I grabbed the tea kettle from off of the stove and made my way over to the sink. I filled the kettle with water before returning it to the stove. I turned the burner on high then took a seat at the kitchen table. I let out an exaggerated sigh then placed my head into the palms of my hands.

“Welcome home.” The soft voice came from the archway into the kitchen.

I raised my head from my palms to see Madison standing there. She still had a couple of bruises on her face from our last encounter.

“You came to laugh at me too?” I said with a scowl.

Madison shook her head no. “I just wanted to see if it was okay if I joined you?” Madison asks with a hopeful tone to her voice.

“Be my guest.” I said while extending my arm towards the open seat at the table.

Madison nodded her head with a small smile and took the seat beside me. We sat there in silence for a moment before Madison decided to speak up.

“Congratulations on retaining the HOTv Championship belt.” Madison twiddled her thumbs against each other. 

“Thanks.” I said with a slight smirk. “It was a tough match but I did what I had to do to win and retain my title.”

“About what happened afterwards…” Madison paused for a moment as I tapped my foot against the marble floor. “I want to say I’m sorry. Even I can admit what Eli did was way too far and if I had anything to do as far as motivating her actions then I apologize.”

“Elizabeth definitely crossed a line that she shouldn’t have crossed but I don’t blame you for her being a sore loser.” I raised my hand into the air and rubbed the back of my neck.

“Also…” Apparently Madison wasn’t done. “I want to apologize for our last altercation. I was totally out of line trying to provoke you like that. It’s just…”

I raised my free hand into the air interrupting Madison. “Look, what happened is in the past so let’s keep it there. As far as I’m concerned we both were totally out of hand but if you’re ready to move on from it then so am I.”

The kettle on the stove began to whistle as Madison and I both got out of our seats. I turned the stove off as Madison grabbed two mugs, I pulled out a couple of tea bags and placed them in the cups before pouring in the hot water. Madison took her seat as I grabbed two spoons and the container of sugar before taking my seat.

“So we’re good and I can go back to being in your corner during matches?” Madison asked with an excited tone.

“Yeah we’re good.” I poured some sugar into my tea and began to stir. “Actually I wouldn’t have it any other way with Meredith lurking around. I think seeing Darin Zion wrestle up close and personal will help you in preparation for your match against him at the next HOFC event.”

I raised my mug into the air and took a sip of my tea. “It’s better for your throat if you add honey.” Madison suggested before getting up out of her seat. She grabbed the honey from the cabinet and then poured some into my mug. “Try it now.”

I raised my mug into the air again and took a sip. “Yeah that’s definitely better.”

“Good.” Madison sat down and sipped her own tea. “Now I think it’s about time we talk about your title defense against Darin Zion.” 

“It’s Zion.” I said bluntly. “He’ll harp on the microphone thing, make a couple of Onlyfans jokes, and completely shit the bed. Typical Darin Zion stuff.”

“I think it’s about time you stop underestimating Darin Zion.” Madison chastised.

“Underestimating him?” I raised my eyebrow as I took another sip. “The guy has three combined wins in singles action this entire year. I have more successful HOTv Championship defenses than he does wins. I’d have a harder time wrestling a dead body.”

“Even so he still has a shot at your HOTv Championship at Bottomline.” Madison wagged her index finger at me. “Records don’t matter when all he has to do is pin your shoulders down to the mat for three seconds.”

“What are the chances of that happening, honestly?” I tilted my head to the side.

“Higher than you think.” Madison corrected me. “His finishing move is the Ban Hammer and your weak spot happens to be your neck. I don’t need to remind you that it’s a combination that doesn’t work out in your favor.”

I sighed in frustration at Madison but I knew she had a point whether I wanted to admit it or not.

“As much as I totally hate the name of that move I have to admit when he caught me with it by surprise during that handicapped match it packed quite the punch.” I played the whole scenario back in my head.

“Not to mention the fact that Zion worships you like some sort of God.” Madison stated before taking another sip of her tea.

“That’s just plain stupid.” I retorted.

“Think about it for a minute.” Madison began. “Go all the way back to War Games where most of his promo’s were about you. Eight other people on your team and he focused all his energy on you.”

“Well, I’m a former War Games winner and I’ve come in second place twice.” I said proudly.

“Not just that but the fact he’s admitted multiple times that he’s been jealous of you and how easily winning comes to you.” Madison’s eyes light up as she remembers another point. “Oh, and the fact that he’s stated that he has to work three times as hard just to scrape by while you’ve been to the mountaintop.”

“Okay, but I just kicked his ass backstage before my match with Elizabeth Dresden. That has to have changed his opinion of me.” I responded.

“Doubt it.” Madison countered. “I think Darin let’s you beat on him to either get sympathy from the fans or hoping that some of your talent will rub off on him.”

“Coming from the guy that sold his mansion because he thought it was ‘holding him back’ in the ring? Yeah, you’re probably right.” I confessed. “I mean look at this place, do you think it holds me back in the ring?

“The point of being successful in the ring is so that you can buy nice things like this place.” Madison extends her arms. “Going back to your ‘roots’ never helped anyone. Either you got it or you don’t.”

We are interrupted by the sound of my cell phone ringing. I reach into my pocket to pull it out and look at the screen. The call is from Nikki, my high school sweetheart and mother to my only child. I answered the call and put it on speaker phone as I sat my phone down on the table.

“Hello?” I spoke out loud.

“Well, you’ve really done it now!” Nikki’s voice blared through the phone.

“You’re going to have to give me more information than that.” I went back to sipping the mug of tea to help my throat.

“I’m talking about what you did in the ring last night!” Nikki shouted.

“Beating Elizabeth Dresden to retain the HOW HOTv Championship belt?” I was still confused about what she was yelling about.

“You know I couldn’t care less about what you do with your shiny little belts.” Nikki paused. “However, seeing you take that microphone like a Champion down your throat was highly entertaining.” I could hear Carmen laughing from the living room.

“If you just called to rub it in my face I think I’ll just hang up on you.” I said sternly.

“I didn’t call you to laugh. I called you to talk to you about your son, Brendan.” Nikki informed me.

“What about Brendan?” I questioned with a bit of concern in my voice.

“Well, because his father decided to go all gay pornstar on a microphone he’s had some kids pick on him. He got into a fight at school today because of you. I think you need to come and fix this.” Nikki commanded.

I raised my hand up to the bridge of my nose, pressing with my thumb and index finger to try to relieve the tension.

“Yeah, alright I’ll be there as soon as I can.” I sighed as I ended the call and looked over at Madison. “I’m going to head out soon. When I get back I want videos of Zion’s matches against Sutler and Sektor ready to go.”

Madison nodded her head as I finished my tea. I got up and tossed the mug and spoon into the sink then headed for the front door.



Deepthroat Davidson here.

That is my new name, correct?

All because a little replacement pussy couldn’t handle losing. So, she decided to flaunt her obvious penis envy for the world to see and well….

You know the rest.

However I’m not here to talk about her. I’m here because there has been something gnawing at the back of my brain. And as I head down this road to Bottomline, it rings louder and louder in my mind.

Just where in the fuck is Zion Sandiego?!

I mean it’s not like this isn’t going to be your third straight match competing for an HOW Championship belt. It’s not like I didn’t beat your ass bloody backstage on Refueled 71 before successfully retaining the HOTv Championship. And it’s not like you didn’t witness me being tied up in the ropes post match and forced to Deepthroat the handle of a microphone. So, it begs the question…

Just how much ammunition does one man need?

As highly as you look at me and being served a second chance at the HOTv Championship belt. You would think that you’d come out with both guns blazing ready to take this fight to me. But as I look around it’s the same old Zion, nowhere to be found until the very last minute.

If I was in your position my promo would have aired mere hours after Refueled 71 went off the air. But that would require effort on your part, wouldn’t it Zion?

The so-called guy that claims he has to work three times as hard as me here in HOW. Where the fuck is that effort then Zion? All I hear from you is how you’re so hungry to have single gold around your waist. How it’s been so many years since you’ve been able to stand proudly as a single competitor with gold over your shoulder. Yet when opportunity comes knocking, you just wait til the last minute, shit your diaper, and scream that the next time will be different.

You claim you’ve rid yourself of the stench of Hollywood yet isn’t that his formula down to the last fucking detail?

When you beat me back in 2016 and captured the ICON Championship, you’re right. I had already checked out. My contract with 4CW was signed, sealed, and delivered but I thought that maybe. Just fucking maybe that Zion would make a run and collect all the HOW titles with what little time the company had left. I thought maybe Zion would finally climb that mountain and win the big boy belt. Instead you let the likes of Brian Hollywood, Scottywood, and even Sad Eyes Happy Tummy Reggie Rivid all surpass you to that goal.

You talked that good shit against Sutler a few weeks ago about how you were going to win #97red and what happened?

You got locked in his finisher and decided it was beddy bye time.

Sutler retains by submission and once against Darin Zion is a huge disappointment. Then in the very next match against Sektor, you talked that good shit about how your going to ride the wave of crowd support all the way to the LSD Championship. What happened?

You got locked in his finisher and once again it was beddy bye time.

Sektor retains by submission and you walked out empty handed because you decided it was a good idea to take a fucking nap in the middle of the ring instead of leaving it all out there. And yet you wonder why you haven’t been a Champion recently?


And now you get your shot against me and my title belt. 

How dare you?

How fucking dare you?!

You say you almost we’re persuaded by Lee Best and the Best Alliance. You talk about how Lee wants to stomp you out. If he wanted you out that bad he’d just fire your ass like he did to your glorious leader Lindsay Troy. No, Lee doesn’t give you title opportunities because he expects an easy victory for us Champions. He gives you these title shots because the man has a soft spot for failures like you. He gives you chance after chance to break that glass ceiling and how do you repay him?

With disappointment and siding with the enemy.

I don’t need a layup. I don’t need an easy win. I told everyone I was taking the HOTv Championship to a whole new level and I’ve done just that. My reign isn’t about being handed victories. It’s about bringing out the best of my opponents and then stomping out their hopes and dreams.


Steve Harrison.

Kevin Capone.

Elizabeth Dresden.

Each one of them wrestled the matches of their lives against me trying to win this Championship belt and none of them could.

You’re next Zion.

Are you finally going to step up to the plate and take a swing? Or are you going to let the bat rest on your shoulder and watch another opportunity pass you by like a Major League fastball? I mean after everything you can’t lose to ‘Deepthroat Davidson’ can you?

I got a microphone shoved down my throat and yet you’ll still be the biggest disappointment standing in the ring at Bottomline.