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A fire lit under someone’s asshole can do two things. It can either completely consume them as the flames burn out of control… or you can reign those flames in and channel the fire into something you can use to burn everyone who ever fucking doubted you.
April 10th… a month and a half ago is when this “refueled” era really started for me. When I finally felt that fire that I have been looking for again in HOW. Some may just look at my loss to Mike Best as another in the L column for me… but it was about so much more than just a win or a loss. It was about the return of a feeling I started to think was long gone from me when I heard the letters H-O-W.
I’m not a complex person to understand… I’m sure most in HOW can sum me up in three words or less. Beer. Hardcore. And if you really needed that third, Beer again. I’m a relic of a simpler time in wrestling. Where anarchy was the norm and if you didn’t have a certain attitude, you were thought as either boring or a wuss. Drinking was cool and no one ever questioned your choice to down a few beers backstage before a match or even in the ring. Plus to attempt some of the shit we did back then… you needed a bit of the liquid courage to numb the voices of reason in your head.
It was fucking anarchy back then. Oh the anarchy. I fucking miss it. Not that this era hasn’t been crazy… but let’s all be fucking honest here, it’s not the same. But the anarchy… something that was COOL back in the day… just like capitalizing certain words. But since… for one night only, we are teammates again, I figure I revive some HOW classics. But while I’ll leave the words that start with X or end in Z in the past where they belong… the anarchy has quite the value still, especially in the coming days… inside that War Game cage.
That is why Lee brought me. That is why The God of HOW made a deal with the Anti-Christ… with one of the last people who will literally tear that fucking cage down to make sure I inflict the most pain… the most carnage… total fucking anarchy for anyone who dares enter that cage against me. I know based on my merits over the past year… I don’t really belong in this match. I haven’t looked at Silent Witness’ odds for War Games… but I can almost fucking guarantee you that I am dead last, even behind Darin Zion… and that is where I belong.
But it also seems my teammates need a kick in the ass too. A three on one loss to Darin Zion? Nope… not gonna shit on Zion… everyone else has done that enough here in HOW. But it is still a fucking three on one match. Nobody should be able to win a match like that against three people in HOW… especially Best Alliance members. Fucking eh… the more I look at this, the more I see just how desperate Lee Best has become. To sign me, a man who hasn’t seen… eye to eye with him for fucking years.
I didn’t intend for the pun… but I won’t lie I chuckled a bit.
Guess Gods aren’t immune from karma.
So here we are… Scottywood fighting for Lee Best once again at War Games. Oh how things have come full fucking circle. Except this time I’m not the plucky new kid with dreadlocks. Now I’m the old veteran who is possibly well past his prime and only cares about causing as much destruction as he can before he gets dragged out of that War Games cage.
Fuck… I am Chris Kostoff now…
Sadly I won’t have a chance to win… or retain the LSD title like he did in 2008.
But does anyone remember just how he made that happen?
No… no one on this fucking roster was even in HOW then. So go check it out on HOTv… go check out my first ever match here in HOW. Yes, I debuted in that War Games cage, entering fifth out of eighteen and finished eighth. Eliminating two men, I made an impact.
Thirteen years later, here I am still. About to enter War Games probably for the last time. Because let’s be honest… while Mike did light a fire, there is very little fuel left in the tank to keep it going. It’s a struggle every day just to get myself into work at HOW instead of going on a three day drinking bender in say… Boston.
Fucking Bruins…
This is far from the same Scottywood who joined HOW back in 2008. He had so much fucking energy in him. He went all in on HOW so quickly and gave everything he had into it.
Maybe that is why I have almost nothing left now? Going easy has never been my strong suit. It’s one hundred fucking percent… or nothing.
But what is one hundred percent these days?
That Scotty tried to stay on the wagon… he really did. But when you’re in a place like HOW, when you have to put your body through the shit we did… and then justify what you did to another human in the name of entertainment and competition. Fuck, a beer… or sixteen were so fucking tempting.
When you’ve had the year that I’ve had…
Nah, not going into that whole story again. Go watch the promos from when Mike and I tore each other up.
But the end story was that beer was there for me more than HOW was. More than any of these fuckers who are in this War Games match this week. A War Games match where anything…. Anything…. ANYTHING fucking goes.
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Oh you are all so fucking fucked. Because while that Scottywood had something to lose in 2008… this Scottywood… has absolutely fucking nothing left. Nothing to hold him back from doing whatever it takes to fucking destroy each and every one of the fuckers on this roster who have done nothing but ruin HOW for me.
This is no longer the same place I once was willing to give everything to. That I poured hours upon hours each day into so that it would be the best fucking wrestling company in the world. This Refueled era is nothing but a fucking sham… a lie…. a shell of it’s past self. It’s draining what I have left, instead of feeding me the energy I need to keep being that old Scottywood. The one that beat Kostoff, Max, Jatt, Jace, Black Townsend and even Mike Best.
It’s no longer the same place where I could find someone to be on my side… like Bobbinette Carey. Even if we had like twenty-five failed stables. People like Static, Carmen Jennings, Silver Cyanide who were awesome to chat with backstage. Fuck, what about Chris Jacobs, the man that is responsible for introducing me to HOW. Then people like Scott Stevens and Darin Zion, who people treat like absolute shit backstage, even though they care more about this place then they ever will.
I’m sorry you’re on the the other side of this Zion… but trust me, if I can, nobody is leaving that War Games cage in one fucking piece.
So if I can’t come through and deliver to Lee a victory for his team… again. If I can’t make everyone on this roster eat their fucking words. Then my forty-nine percent ownership… thirty-nine maybe if Mario still has mine. It’s all fucking worthless and I might as well go out the way I came into HOW… at War Games.
But believe me, if I go down… I am going to take everyone I can with me. You all know… or at least fucking should know what I have done in my career. I’d think it would be pretty stupid to step into a match like War Games and not research the fighters you will be against. You all know what I’m gonna bring to that cage and I know deep down inside you all hope I just fucking drown in a tank of IPA and no show War Games.
That would be so fucking perfect for all you soft motherfuckers.
You all who can’t fucking roll with a single punch or get a single fucking scratch. The fragile fucking egos. Fucking eh the stories that I have heard from this fucking era. Imagine if anyone on team minute before men… other than Zion, got dumped on as much as I did over the past thirteen years. Shit, one match with Mike Best almost left Dan Ryan in fucking tears. Do you know how long I have put up with Mike Best fucking roasting me? A man who is famous… FUCKING FAMOUS… for destroying wrestlers and whole federations on fucking Twitter in a matter of hours. Plus I just had an absolute no holds barred verbal war with him and came out stronger than ever.
Yeah, I heard the collective fucking sigh from everyone when they learned Mike Best would officially not be in War Games. It was quickly followed by Lindsay Troy actually thinking she has a shot at the big title now.
Keep fucking dreaming. Because somehow you’ve managed to still be the worst fucking Linds(e/a)y in my fucking life over the past year, congrats on that miraculous achievement. It’ll probably be your best one ever in HOW. Miss fucking innocent in HOW one of the biggest cun… continuous stirrers of shit in HOW. Which hey, if that works for you… great. But sadly you are no Mike Best and have done…. Um… what in HOW? Swept up the Tag Team titles in a division Mario Maurako once again fucking abandoned because even he was fucking bored with the competition in it.
Or yes, please brag about your twenty days as LSD champion. Sure I had a fourteen day reign once out of my five, but my son lost his fucking eyes for that reign and then I had to defend it in a five way Paris street fight. Not against an aged and fat Frito fuck, Jatt Starr.
Jatt Starr is on my team? Sorry?
At least Lee got to finally rub one out to you winning a title in HOW. So something good literally came out of that. But ya sure as fuck gave the man blue balls waiting for that fucking moment. I remember the hype you had when you joined HOW. Lee’s jaw on the fucking ground like a Looney Toon character and you fucking choked hard than… than… let’s go with Toronto against Montreal this week.
And you thought I wasn’t gonna bring the HOFC to War Games… you stupid fuckers.
The only person on your team Troy that has ever won the HOW World Title is fucking Ray McAvay, who has taken time to leave his circle jerking PCW fed to comeback to HOW. Didn’t wanna bring Halitosis slash Bergman with ya? Just glad he never suffocated in the garbage bag mask he fucking wore. How about Dawn McGill? Or is she too busy putting together stellar matchups between shitty Biden and Trump impersonators. At least those two make me look young in the ring. And where is Benny when I need someone to let out a good ole….
RAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH.
Literally the only thing interesting or memorable about the dude. His name was even more of a joke than Xander Azula’s. Oh PCW though, a place where Darin Zion during his lowest times in HOW can go and win a championship. Sure that’s made you a stronger wrestler over the years against that kind of tough “competition”.
I had to take one shot at ya Zion. Mainly cause nobody is gonna get half my barbs about PCW cause… well no one give a flying fuck about it. If a wrestling match happens and no one watches it… is it a wrestling match? Or is it just… fanless fiction?
Oh and then there is Conor Fuse… the man that beat me at ICONIC and is still walking around with a fucking barbed wire wrapped controller that I drove him to use. I can’t say I HATE the style, but believe me that despite my alcohol consumption over the past six months, I have not forgotten about our match. If there is someone whose ass I’d wanna kick more than Troy’s in this match, it would be yours.
I’m so glad you’re trying to make friends with people here in HOW, handing out fucking controllers like some kind of nerdy Bachelorette. Hoping like some naive sucker that maybe someone will have your back when you come face to face with The Hardcore Artist one more time. When I’m tearing the fucking flesh off your body with a real fucking weapon. If I’m going out here Conor, I’m closing out all my tabs and receipts will be full handed out. But hey, you got all those extra lives, so I’m sure you’ll be good when I murder you in that cage.
Because if you think Lee Best turned a blind eye… or two before when people have been literally murdered in HOW, believe he will not care… and will in fact smile if they have to drag anyone’s lifeless carcass from that War Games cage. Gone is that fucking bullshit fake ass Scott Woodson who pretended to give a fuck about some stupid paperwork or getting sued. As a wise man once said, I’ll smile in the courtroom and buy you a wardrobe.
Hey, I admitted I’m stuck in the early two thousands, so I don’t wanna fucking hear it. It’s just the way I am. I tried to be different, I tried being someone who I knew I never could be… and I was fucking miserable. So for everyone saying that I am nothing like my former self anymore, you’re all gonna see that Scottywood first hand. No need for a Max Kael time machine even, I’m gonna bring him straight to you all. Straight to fucking War Games and give you all one last showing so you can all remember just who the fuck I am.
I know you need me Lee… and I promise I won’t let you down.
“You and me, we are like anarchy, for the whole world to see, see who we are.” – Lilith Czar
ANARCHY is coming to War Games, and I hope everyone in HOW is ready.
“Fuck your authority, I’ll make my own.” – Lilith Czar