When I Look At You

When I Look At You

Posted on September 2, 2022 at 6:07 pm by Steve Harrison


“Please forgive me

If I act a little strange

For I know not what I do

Feels like lightning

Running through my veins

Every time I look at you

Every time I look at you,” ‘Please Forgive Me,’ David Gray



August 27th, 2022



I walked confidently backstage after Chaos went off the air and was met with a high five and of course a Coors Light by Steve Solex.  I grabbed the beer and tossed it back hoping it would quench my dry mouth.  I won’t lie that time in the Main Event was nerve wrecking not because I am not used to being in the limelight but because I was not used to that reaction.  It isn’t hard to remember Steve Harrison who joined HOW and was instantly hated by the fans and the majority of the locker room.

That was then.

This is now.

I took the beer from my lips and wiped my mouth.  “Thanks, man,” I said and leaned against the wall in the hallway outside The Highwaymen’s Locker Room.  This was a meeting place, not a changing place but the pain soaring through my back made it seem impossible to get to the room, so I leaned against the wall in hopes of straightening it out.

Solex smacked the HOTV Tag Title on my right shoulder, “best of five!”

I sighed and finished the beer.  I tossed the can to the floor without giving a thought about the poor guy who had to clean up after us heathens.  “I know,” I said softly as memories of Tag Title bliss danced in my head.

“Your back ok?”

It wasn’t.

It took a lot of painkillers and adrenaline to get in Christopher Fascists face and embarrass him during his self-masturbation celebration.

I shrugged, “Conor Fuse would rather try to retire me then win these shiny Tag Titles.  He has a loser’s mentality which shouldn’t be a shocker when you see who he surrounds himself with.”

Solex nodded but kept his eyes fixated on the HOTV Tag Title.  I sighed and took it off from my shoulder and stared it as it sat softly in my sweaty hands.  “I know, bud.  It is hard to give it up though after all the shenanigans I have been a part of with the tag titles.  I can get a little clingy.”

The MercDad laughed and pointed to his head, “we can understand that but remember after we are done with the eGG Bandits you might be able to play in the pool again.  You know…if you lose to that commie.”

I stared down at the title, the straps in each of my hands, the emblem staring up at me like a long-lost lover.  “If you don’t mind…”

Solex shook his head, “if you say you want to be alone with the title, I am going to smack you upside the head.  You should be mad. I just said you might lose to that coward you just tapped out.”

I groaned because he was right and the thought of losing in a match for the World Title is for worse then letting my Boy defend the Tag Titles against a raving pack of eGG puns.  “I get it,” I laid the title in front of me to hand it to my namesake.  He picked it up from my hands like it was some whore he could grab off any corner of the street.  I was taken aback but then I remembered that the Number One Dad didn’t give a shit about my sparkly lover.

I paused.

Wait–when did I become someone who cares about the whore?

“Am I going to need to wash this?”

I snapped out of it.

My eyes got big.


I finally laughed, “Nah man, I have polished that thing daily.”

His eyebrow raised and he quickly put the Tag Title on the floor and looked back up at me, “Um…”

I shook my head, “No, no, no.  I mean I actually polished it with Turtle Wax and maybe read some poems and sang some songs…”

He put his hand up, “Oh, come on.  How am I supposed to compete with that level of obsession?”

“Just don’t let it get hit with a rotten eGG and all should be fine,” I responded with a wink as I attempted to hide my fear of Doozer trying to ruin this blessed new title like he ruined his friendship with Kostoff and helped Lee literally kill him.

Seriously…killed him.

I sighed.

Steve Solex picked the belt back up and tossed it on his left shoulder and smacked me on my now empty shoulder.  “I am still going to clean the devil out of my hands.”

I tried cracking my back and then let out a long breath.  I looked back at Steve and chuckled, “well, I can tell you the word I said the most around the belt was God…oh god…oh.”

He froze and stared at me.

I tilted my head with a tilted, “kidding…kidding.”

Solex did a double take on me and then turned to walk away, “alright man, I will talk to you later. We have some scheming to do and a World Title to put around your waist…if it can’t be around mine.”

I nodded and watched as he walked away and responded, “I WILL MISS YOU.”

The Better Dad turned around, “you…aren’t talking to me, are you?” My eyes darted and I shrugged.  Solex sighed and then turned again and began to walk away, “I don’t even want to know.”

I looked up to the ceiling, a light flickered, and my remaining Tag Title shone in the light.  I slapped it like it was calling me daddy.  “Maybe it is time to put you away—I have far more pressing matters to take care of.  Steve Harrison HOW World Champion is a lot more important and something I plan on achieving.”





If there is one person who knows the rigors of Tag Team wrestling it is Jatt Starr.

Or is it Simon Sparrow now?

This midlife crisis of yours should not be messing with what I call you.


You also understand losing something you did not win, which is something I won’t ever understand, but I am certain these days you do not care about that.  You have gone from the highs of defeating STRONK to losing it in your first defense to Jace.  I am not sure how I would handle that especially since at Dead or Alive you failed to win the Icon title.

I am not insulting you, old…friend?




We were allies and at times I felt bad for you because you put your faith in John Sektor’s friendship, and we all saw how that concluded.

And is…concluding again?

Do we really need to run that back?

Cocaine Lee Best is running on fumes, I guess.

I am rooting for you, Jatt but this week isn’t about your on again off again relationship with Sektor this is about me proving I earned my place at Rumble at the Rock.   Ranked second doesn’t really mean much when I hear the whispers that I don’t deserve it.  Let’s be real though, what haven’t I done that would preclude me from getting a World Title shot?

Nothing other than this: I haven’t beaten you, bud.

Well in a non HOFC ring that is.

That is an argument someone could make but it is still just crying over spilled milk for those trying to talk behind my back.

If they wish to use that against me, so be it.  It is not like I haven’t wished to face you again and to get a measure of revenge for the LSD Scaffold match you won.  Beating you in the HOFC tournament was great but that doesn’t erase the LSD Title match and I would be lying if I didn’t want to toss you on your head and prove that I am the superior wrestler.

It took all my mental strength to not finish what Dan Ryan started at War Games.  I watched as you lost the Tag Titles that Jiles and I had won back for The Best Alliance.  All I could do was grit my teeth when you and Sektor went behind our backs to get Lee’s approval on your two defending them.

I took that personally and I took your loss as a slap to my face.

But being the Heart and Soul meant I had to let it go because you were almost crippled, and nobody seemed to care.

Who visited you in the Hospital?


Who told you it would get better, and you would be back in no time?


What did you give me?



Who didn’t ask me how I was when I hurt my knee?


Who didn’t welcome me back when I returned to HOW?


After my injury The Best Alliance fell apart quickly and then you moved on to some hair brained group that lasted shorter than Bobbinette Carey’s last relationship.

Like Bobbie though you tried to leech off Conor Fuse which is becoming a theme in a lot of you HOW Hall of Famers–anyway to stay relevant when you see an approaching wave you are certain to drown in.  It is becoming a trend and one that many of us just roll our eyes at because Conor Fuse is not a man you should trust.

You seem to trust easily, but I suppose it boils down to if they can carry you to any form of success.  The sad part is that the LSD Title reigns you have had are all earned by YOU without any help.  You seem to finally understand that now, but at the same time it seems you have hit a wall and I am not talking about being bored by Sektor training montages and passing out while standing.

What this comes down to though is that you don’t have a ridiculous movie script to parody.

You don’t have Merch tables to steal from me.

What you do have is The Miracle Man feeling extremely disrespected across from you.

I will take this opportunity to forcibly make you apologize to me.

I want you to realize that I haven’t forgotten our past and the future will be Miraculous after I drop down and wrench your neck so hard you pass out.  This back injury has made me creative on how I target my opponent’s neck but don’t fret come this weekend my back might not hurt at all.  It is not my job to show you a target, but we all know you do less scouting than Drake when scouting the ages of the girls he DM’s on Instagram.

You are my first step up a steep stairway that will end at Rumble at the Rock and I am fully aware how difficult this journey will be.

Maybe I must be nastier.

Maybe I should tap into who I was and do whatever it takes to win and throw the rule book out the window.

Maybe I should make this as personal as possible.

Maybe I should make this all about business and take this as a paycheck.

There are different avenues I could go but there is no reason to decide because when the bell rings that smug grin on your face will be met with a knee.  I am not playing around with you, Jatt.  This is not going to be a cowboy hat parade where I laugh at your horrible jokes because I am worried Clay Byrd might literally eat you and The Miracle Man can be polite at times.

No… this is going to be violent and if Tyler Best hasn’t left you thinking about retirement, I will.

I will get my win back this Sunday and put The Board on notice.

Hopefully your emergency contacts are up to date because the Hospital is going to need those.



“Help me out here

All my words are falling short

And there’s so much I want to say

Want to tell you just how good it feels

When you look at me that way, ah

When you look at me that way” ‘Please Forgive Me,’ David Gray



August 30th, 2020

Fairfax, VA

Miracle Enterprise Apartment


It was the first week back at the Apartment.  Rebecca Hines had finally come back to her senses, and nobody had seen any movement from Steve’s father so everyone felt it was safe to come back and resume whatever life this group of oddballs could continue.  It had been a while since anyone had stayed here so the first few days it was just Jack Marley cleaning it, so Steve wasn’t embarrassed when Rebecca came over.  Jack, always the good soldier did the best he could but when you Token a lot of Weed you might miss some things or just forget you put a garbage bag in the bathtub while you were taking a piss break.

Rebecca Hines walks out of the bathroom with a trash bag in her hand, a confused look on her face.  Steve Harrison looks up and Rebecca drops the bag and then points at it.  Steve quickly looks over to the kitchen where Jack Marley is making some Cup of Noodles and gives him an angry look.  “Jack!”

Jack turns with noodles hanging from his mouth and mumbles incoherently, “Whastdd?”

Steve groans and shakes his head.  Rebecca picks up the bag and walks over to the front door, “I will just take this out.”

Steve nods without saying a word and watches as he closes the door behind her.  “Jack, what the hell man?  You said you got this place clean and now we have Rebecca taking a bag to the trash shoot with trash going back a month in it.”

Jack swallows his noodles, “well…you could have taken it, mon.”

Harrison’s mouth opens to respond but he freezes as he realizes Jack is right.  He takes a breath and nods, “yea—guess you are right.”

Jack walks out of the kitchen towards Steve, “you sure you don’t want any?  You look pale and sweaty, mon, maybe you need some food.”

Steve wipes his face and rubs the sweat on his shorts.  “Everything is fine…everything is fine.”

The Marley Mon shrugs, “ok, but the last thing we need is you fainting and landing on that back of yours.”

Steve moves his hand up in a motion to smack Jack but before he could follow through the door opens back up and Rebecca walks in.  Steve quickly put his hand down and gave Rebecca an awkward smile.  She smiled back and then walked towards Steve.






Harrison puts his eyes down as she approaches him, “let me get a look of this NEW Steve Harrison,” Miss Hines says.

The Miracle Man looks up and gives her a soft laugh, “are you being sarcastic?”

Their eyes lock.

She shakes her head.

Steve gulps and feels the sweat on his brow again.

“I mean…from what the doc has told me you have had quite an odd last year,” she says not noticing how Harrison is acting.

He nods, “yea…uh…well you know, I discovered something that did a lot to me.”

“I’m happy, it has been almost twelve years since I have seen you genuinely smile,” She pats Steve on the hand, “just don’t make me take the trash out again.,” she finishes with a laugh that brightens her face.

Harrison blushes.

For real, I don’t think he has ever had red in his face unless it was literal blood dripping from it.

“I will admit it has been hard for me to talk to you but with you back in my corner I am certain to get that World Title,” The Man praying for a romantic Miracle says.  He then drops his eyes and mutters to himself.

She nods, “of course but…hey, let me see your back.  Jack, grab me some ice.”

“Gotcha, womon,” he responds and puts his Cup of Noodles down and walks towards the kitchen.  Rebecca follows a bit behind him, and Steve looks up and rubs his face as if he is trying to wake up.

Harrison mutters to himself again, “be in my corner? What the fuck, man.”

“What’s that?” Rebecca yells from the kitchen.

Harrison’s eyes darted in surprise, “oh…nothing, just trying to stretch the knots out of my back before I put any ice on it.”

Good one.

“Alright lean forward, Steve,” Rebecca says as she stands behind Steve who still sits on his couch with a flustered look on his face.

He leans forward and then tightens up quickly when Rebecca places the ice on his back.  “Oh, damn that is cold.”

She holds the ice for a second and then takes some bandages out of her pocket, “always come prepared when you have to be a nurse at times.”  She starts moving it around Harrison’s body to keep the ice in place, “I cannot believe that Conor Fuse would do such a thing.”

Steve makes no motion and just sits there as he watches her hand move around his chest and then stop as she ties it off around his body.  “Um…what?”

“Conor Fuse.”

“He is a bitch.”

She laughs, “Guess some things won’t ever change.”

Harrison groans, “What I do to his mentor this weekend is only a fraction of what will happen to him when he finally stops being a coward.”

Rebecca walks around in front of Steve, “does it hurt?”

He doesn’t look at her but feels the ice pack and then shrugs, “not enough to keep me from winning this weekend or getting my hands on the HOW World Title when I snap Christopher America’s neck.”

Hines looks down at her watch, “can’t do any of that on an empty stomach.  How does dinner sound?”

Harrison peers up at Rebecca slowly, “oh…yea, just the two of us,” he replies nervously.

“We can call it a scouting meal just like old times and of course Jack can come too if he isn’t full from that Cup of Noodles.”

‘SURE AIN’T!” Jack yells.

Steve sighs quietly to himself and twiddles his thumbs, “yea, of course…a scouting meal, of course…of course.”

She nods, “let’s get to it then.”

Harrison slowly stands up, “of course…of course,” he says again slowly.

Rebecca grabs her purse and turns towards the door again.  The Miracle Man watches her walk towards the door and lets out a deep breath, “what the hell is wrong with me?”

The door opens and all three leave the apartment for a scouting meal instead of a date with Steve Harrison sweating profusely and his heart skipping too many beats for him to comprehend the pit he has put himself in with no knowledge on how to fight out of it.