December 17, 2020
I look back at this day as one I took a step forward and then never progressed to where I needed to go. I did not finish that journey much like I wouldn’t finish just two days later at Iconic 2020 when I had my first chance at the LSD Title. But for now, I stood there a day after my birthday with a Birthday Party Hat on my head that coincidentally matched my blood shot eyes from my night of heavy drinking.
Rebecca grabbed the box from my hand, a confused look permeating her face. I watched as she gazed at it. “It is…I don’t know a drunken buy,” I stammered out.
Yea, I had been walking the streets drunk and happened upon that gift I was giving to Rebecca. I don’t remember the circumstances, but Jack and William had reminded me repeatedly who it was for. I really did not understand why, especially when I should have been concentrating on Jatt Starr and Lindsay Troy, but it wasn’t like I was going to work out after drinking until the sun came up.
Rebecca rolled her eyes, “great,” she opened the box and stared at and then looked back up at me and the back down to the box, “do you know what is in here?”
I laughed and shrugged, “you got me,” I said honestly not knowing what the heck was in there.
She pulled out a ring from the box with her right hand. “This is a 1 Carat Diamond Ring, Steve, how drunk were you…or are you?”
I took a step back from her, surprised by what I just heard and what I was looking at. A 1 Carat Diamond Ring is normally close to two thousand dollars, and I was not swimming in cash at that moment. I don’t think I need to mention that is also something you give someone you are either dating or getting engaged to. Rebecca and I have a complicated ‘she takes care of my issues’ relationship. A Public Relations guru is what I like to think of her as, even if she did call me out in public on my bullshit. “I… hmmm… guess it’s your birthday too!”
“Uh huh, this is definitely not like you,” she responded with a small grin coming to her face. She put the ring on her ring finger and stretched her arm out to look at how it looked.
My mind was racing and not just because I was hungover. I honestly was thinking how to act after this just occurred, but it was like swimming in the deep end your first day of swim class. I set myself up for something I could not emotionally understand because Steve Harrison was a zombie back then when it came to feelings. “You have done a swell job with Miracle Enterprise,” I said.
Yep—I actually said that, wow.
I shook my head and felt a drip of sweat fly off my brow to the floor below. I hoped she hadn’t noticed my awkwardness but at the same time I wondered why I would even care because The Miracle Man just wants money and titles. I pay for women to leave not for their company I liked to say back then. “It is a very nice ring, Steve. I am surprised you could even pick something like this out.”
I rubbed my bald head and looked away, “Ok, well—have a good day I guess.”
I turned and walked away and didn’t look back because I had zero understanding of what was transpiring. Back then I was a shell of a man but didn’t know it until War Games 2021. I think back at this and mused that maybe I gave Rebecca Hines a ring because subconsciously, while drunk, I realized how much I cared for her. Sober, I had no idea what anything I felt meant and just walked away conflicted with myself.
I was a Suplex Expert and that was it.
I was a minor character to a story I was attempting to write without even comprehending it until it was too late.
You tell me who has evolved since then and who hasn’t.
The LSD Title has shown me that and nobody can discourage me from getting everything I want in life.
I don’t think you should take contraband from Arthur Pleasant, Jeffrey.
Especially his written thoughts. You would think relying on a man who has taken one big step to just take a step back and fall in a sinkhole would make you think twice.
What I am getting at is that you seem to think I try the same things over and over again. Is that supposed to be an intellectual thought? You can use as many big words as possible and theoretical ideas you read in your books to get to your point but if your point is this poor then all your work was for naught.
Your promo was for naught.
You may as well as started it with a warning to skip this if you want to hear something compelling. It was a waste of my time. It was just every pathetic Arthur ‘insult’ but said with flowery words he would need to look up to understand.
Success and failure can be tipped either way depending on how you follow up either outcome. We have both loss to STRONK, but the personal loss is not what haunted me. I have stated it was letting The Highwaymen down that angers me because it isn’t just about me. It is about the group taking out that meal ticket of yours: The Board. I am positive what I just said will be ignored by the masses whose opinions never change and take NFT advice from Conor Fuse. It is grating to always have to defend myself on the same tired comments about me. It is not 2020 anymore everyone you can hop off the milk wagon.
You were able to bounce back and win the Tag Titles and for that I congratulate you. I am happy a tag team holds the tag titles with absolutely no other tag teams around. Going to be a thrilling reign.
You must think yourself a counter puncher but when you are knocked out in the first round it really does not matter. Your stamina is pointless in this matter and your opinions on my lack of growth are laughable. I will forever take what steps I feel like taking. If I fail…I fail. If I succeed…I succeed. One loss this year is not going to stop me from reaching for the throat of The Board and choking the life out of it.
You are just a faux intellect using the simplest of insults to try to get a rise out of me. It is not working because I just feel bored by it all. It is always the same song and dance from you Devils Advocates and it is getting wearisome to have to defend the same shit repeatedly. I would think that if you are going to use a concept against someone you should probably not use it yourself. Then again…I don’t enjoy watching the last breath from a cat while I am strangling it so what do I know?
I know that fake conversations put you in a category with Scott Stevens level humor though.
Oh and… GOT EM!
Glad I am the one who is uncreative. Just because you are a Serial Killer doesn’t make you interesting, Jeff but it does make you an easy person to despise.
I have come to understand my weaknesses and I have attempted to change for the better but inside the ring I am still as vicious as I have ever been.
I will fight the good fight even if it is not a good fight, Jeff. Is that gray area enough for you? I like how Steve Harrison is being lectured on something not being black or white. Since I never change, I would think Good Old JJR would know about me. Again, it is only factual if someone believes it, not if it is reality. How quaint our kind killer is, coming in hot with an empty pack of matches.
I will keep being Steve Harrison.
You keep tricking people into thinking you are deep.
I will keep this LSD Title and I will find the damn owner of that ring.
June 28th, 2020.
It had been a little over three weeks since I lost inside War Games, but I watched the team win behind Sutler Kael snatching victory from the video game loser and….I got all my memories back. Not to mention just days ago I had become two-time tag team champion with my old frenemy Cancer Jiles. Not sure I was in the right place to handle the memories, but I pressed on knowing that whatever I was starting to feel was finally real. It had been a struggle for Jack and I since word had gotten to us that William Morris had died. More like murdered but we had no proof. It just another arrow through our attempts to run through a metal wall with just a spoon.
Failure was becoming the norm in that fight.
Leaving the Cemetery on June 14th was the last time I wanted to see Sandy Reed-Lawson, but it only took ten more days for her to show up unannounced in front of me as I sat by myself at a local bar in Fairfax, Virginia. A dive bar to be exact. Not a place I would ever expect Sandy to come looking for me in but there we were, and I was not happy about it.
“It came in the mail to me, but it is for you,” she coolly responded to me ignoring the disdain I wore on my face at the sheer sight of her
“I am not taking that,” what she held in her hand was a vile that looked an awful lot like steroids. “You trying to get me suspended for steroids?” I mean if HOW ever tested for that but by the looks of it these days I think I would have been fine.
Her hand didn’t move but instead she sat down next to me and looked at the bartender. “A glass of your best white wine.”
The bartender laughed, “look around miss, whatever wine you get here isn’t going to be the best of anything.”
She sighed, “fine, then a glass of water.”
The bartender turned his back, “coming up.”
I looked down at my glass of whiskey (of course) and then back at her. “Ordering a drink instead of answering my question is not a power move it is just annoying.”
Sandy turned to me and put the vile between us, “I would think you would be happier considering you won the Tag Titles again the other night.”
I took a sip of my drink and then tilted my head to watch some daytime baseball being played at the old TV on the wall. “Amazed you would even care.”
“It is a big deal when someone injures Dan Ryan and puts him on the shelf, Steve. Even my husband was amazed by that feat.”
I stared in my glass and laughed. This was not a discussion I was imagining having after a seemingly vile of steroids was put between us. “It was a definitely a night I will remember.” I wasn’t wrong about that because it is something that I can always claim to have done even if I followed it up with absolutely nothing and then had my own knee injury.
I guess it could be amazing karma.
Amazingly odd timing is what I would hope it is because the timing was near perfect if Dan Ryan had put a curse on me.
The bartender put her glass of water in front of her. She stared at it and frowned. The glass looked like it had been cleaned with a dirty rag. She pushed it a few more inches away from her and then smiled at me. “You really need to pick better places to drink and be depressed at. I have told you that it is better to look ahead then look back and maybe that vile will help.”
“How would steroids help me?”
“I forgot,” she paused and that annoying smirk she loves to give me came to her face. “This was delivered to me from William.”
I stopped moving for a few seconds as I attempted to compose myself. This is why I hated her, everything had to be some big surprise with drama just so she didn’t feel so lonely with her husband always away. “Ugh, you just love having some sort of upper hand, it is exhausting.” I grabbed the vile and put in my pocket, “do you at least know what it is? It is obvious you opened this thinking it was for you.”
Sandy rubbed her arms one after the other and then looked back at me, “don’t worry about why I opened it—it did come to my office. There was a note though and I am not sure what it means…”
I interrupted her as this was getting bothersome, “oh just give it to me. Sandy.”
She finally gave up on her silly games and handed me the note and then just stared at me as I read it. “It didn’t mean anything to me.”
I rolled my eyes because of course she had read it even though the note was folded and had my name on the front of it. “Well, since it just says this might come in handy for your memories, I am sure that is what it means.”
“Kind of cryptic, if you ask me.”
“You know exactly what this is referring to you, so what are you after?”
She turned her barstool, so she is looking directly into my eyes and her smile faded. “I am to tell you that there is nothing wrong with peace.”
I nodded, “who asked you to tell me this? Don’t I already look resigned to my plight as a failure in this battle? I took all my anger out on Conor Fuse and Dan Ryan, and I snapped. I might not have cared for Dan Ryan, but he was a legend, and I didn’t plan on taking his knee back to the hotel with me that night. This is what I have regressed too, a person who actually has empathy and now I cannot actually share that with anyone who fucking matters.”
She shook her head, “empathy isn’t a regression, Steve you will discover better things in life now, but you have to let it all go.”
I scoffed and laughed at the ceiling, “then why hand me this damn vile of memory magic if we are to be believed that’s what this is?”
She shrugged as she stepped off the barstool, “another opportunity to throw your past away, this isn’t a puzzle worth figuring out.”
I waved my hand at her, “sure, how about you get going and let me enjoy my time without you. The next time I see you, you better make an appointment.”
“Hopefully you aren’t dead,” Sandy retorted to me and turned her back and walked away from me.
I looked around the dingy bar to see if there was anyone that could make me feel good for a few moments, but it was empty of anything worth my time. I grabbed the glass and finished the drink and slammed the glass back on the bar, “ah.” I took the vile out of my pocket and stared at it for a few seconds but then quickly returned it to my pocket. I looked at the note again to see if there were any other hints on what Will had meant and it looked odd to me, but I did not have what I needed to check for any invisible ink.
“It would be like him to do so,” I whispered as I placed the note in my pocket.
I stood up and walked out the door to a blaring sun and ninety-degree weather. I put my hand over my head to block the sun and stumbled my way down the street, “it’s not over yet.”
There comes a time when you come back to what you lost and realize you have the tools to put the puzzle together but just didn’t know how they go together.
It is the equivalent of finding that trigger that makes you realize who you are hunting next. You drive around, you walk around, you find yourself taking a picture, going to the hardware store, and finding where the epilogue scene should take place. It is the same puzzle but with a different carcass because that is all you know. It needs to be the same each time because that is what you love. That is what makes you grin. That is what makes you feel good about yourself. It feels like that to you but that is because you are the smartest person in the world.
You got away with it!
Until you didn’t.
Your puzzle was simple to put together in the end for those looking for you because you are arrogant and cannot see your own faults.
Did you learn your lesson?
Did you figure out that your own ineptitude put you where you are?
I feel like that is an impossibility.
Which is why I wonder why anyone should take your advice to heart?
Is it advice or edgy insults?
A childlike emotional level is something I can spot right away. That comes from experience of course. You can flop your verbal dick all over the jail cell and think it is big but calling me a loser isn’t going to rile me up nor it is originally large. It is like telling everyone you have a huge announcement and having it be your dead rat marionette show.
No thanks, man I would rather pass on that much like you should have when you attempted to go hard at me. So amazing that I yawned so long I hurt my jaw. It is funny, Jeff, because wouldn’t you just say what is the point? You don’t care about anything so why put so much thought and effort at trying to one up me? It is the contradictions and insincerities that get me right in the groin, bucko. At least you have your rats.
I mean do you honestly think insulting Jack Marley means anything to me? Is that where we are now in our wrestling relationship? A shot across the bow it certainly wasn’t but then again what should I expect from someone who believes The Board is leading a revolution.
Was that said with no sarcasm?
I must think that you really don’t care what The Board is since it allows you to inflict pain on people. That is all that matters to you so your opinion on the inner workings of HOW are futile. This is about a playing field that is always slanted towards their side. That isn’t a revolution this is the beginning of a despotism where anyone who is not kissing the ring is considered an emery of the state. If that is what you wish to argue for then that is fine. I find it more interesting or exciting to fight against the power because they may have the authority, but they don’t have the numbers. This is why they use you and this is why they draft STRONK into their ranks. You idiots just do the dirty work while they sit back in the back smoking stale cigars thinking they are classy.
Sooner or later the spectacle will be about how far they fell and how I smiled from ear to ear with blood dripping from my head. I will put myself on the line for this, Jeffrey. I don’t think you fully comprehend what I am capable of and if you place that knife you enjoy in front of me, I will use it to survive this warzone.
I know what you can do, Jeffrey. You are a madman inside the ring, and you don’t care about yourself or your opponent. That is why you are an incredibly tricky opponent for everyone. You are not a weapon though. You just use weapons. You are a coward who in his desperation knocked out Zion with a chair to keep your HOTV title.
We measure up quite similarly but if you think flying all over the ring is going to work against me you will learn quickly who is truly a weapon. I take pleasure in hurting my opponents and shrinking their neck with each vertebra I damage. I think you need to rethink your plan against me because I will prove again that I will do what it takes to win a match.
Does that make you happy now?
Blood, guts, and violence I am down for that.
I don’t care if you are angry or suddenly Gandhi. I want you mad, I want you agitated, and I want you to bring it all at me because I will do the same. I am not a happy person. I am still told I am a miserable bastard, and I cannot help but nod to that assertion. Any success I have had recently means nothing if I cannot continue to do so. If I sit on my laurels I will fail and that is not an option for me right now.
Love is blind and I think getting that advice from a sociopath is exactly what I should do. Heh, come on man. I have a vague understanding of what it is, Jeff. You know it to be the moment your knife pierces flesh…we are not the same and I prefer it that way.
I know the worlds evils and I know what I have done to add to it but this time I am doing something that more then just I will enjoy. That is an oddity for me but as I have come to understand beating that cross off your chest will be an irony, we can all love.
I will use you to get out some more misery out of me and in doing so get myself closer to collapsing the autocracy you so enjoy giving a hand job to.
This is a puzzle you have already failed at putting together.
This is a puzzle I have come to understand.
I will force feed you the pieces to make you choke and I will stagger away with my LSD Title around my waist.