What’s the focus

What’s the focus

Posted on December 2, 2022 at 7:55 pm by Steve Harrison

 

It’s hard to see the Tag Titles leave my grip again and not give Steve Solex an angry glance.

I feel like this is a story I tell every few months.  I win the Tag Titles back and then someone else loses them or someone else gets pinned.

Only prize I got was a condescending speech by Clay Byrd.  Yep, that got me pumped up…to put my earbuds in and walk away.

I don’t answer to you.

Go have your destined battle with Christopher America and leave me out of it.  I am no longer going to weaken opponents for you or carry you when you are too unmotivated to care.  Go win the World Title and be done with it.

I answer to myself.

I don’t need someone to give me a dad not proud of you talk because I am not proud of what has happened anyway.

You do you because right now I only care about that clueless gamer and his handmaiden.

Sigh.

Bobbinette Carey.

I will give you credit because you don’t ever give up even when it is obvious nobody wants you around.  You continue to walk with your head held high like you just existing is some sort of amazing accomplishment.

Congrats on breathing.

Ugh.

Truth is I am starting to respect your drive because even though I have beaten you numerous times you still come back for more.

I didn’t say you were smart.

I didn’t say you were talented.

I didn’t say you weren’t extremely annoying.

I said you try hard.

Heh, the Darin Zion special I suppose.

This was expected though because while Solex is beating down Conor Fuse the plan is for you to beat me down.  It is booking 101…or maybe lazy booking?  Lee Best is losing it with each horrible Not Your Father’s Root Beer he drinks.

Only legs that are going to be numb are Careys after she has a stroke inside the ring.  Hint, go on a diet big momma.  My CPR card has expired, and I am not being held responsible if you tip over and cannot be helped.

I suppose we don’t have a choice but to face each other but this is becoming boring for me.  Defeating you is as tedious as making my bed after I wake up and leave for the day.  It is something I do, not something I enjoy.

You have survived a lot of Scooby Doo shit recently but once again Conor Fuse relying on you to do anything to me is misguided.

Duh, right?

There are no twists and there isn’t someone wasting their time trying to harm you this time.

Nope…just me yawning as I see your name next to mine.  For real, how may fucking times do I need to do this?  Lee Best hire some new wrestlers so I can have an original match.

This job is starting to feel like a job.

We are all supposed to love being in HOW and performing in some of the craziest matches against some of the greatest wrestlers, but something has changed.

Or maybe the problem is that not enough has changed.

The roster is leaking worse than Cancer Jiles after a twelve pack of Miller Lights.  There is nothing I can do but continue to do my job and try to psych myself up for the same old bullshit.  It isn’t working but at least we can all agree that I can sleepwalk inside the ring and leave Bobbinette Carey unconscious with my arm being raised afterwards.

Is that arrogant of me?

It probably is but until she can prove that I am incorrect then I don’t see how I am in the wrong on what I have said.

Conor Fuse cannot come soon enough.

But first I deal with you, Carey.  I am sure you are really excited to help your BFF and will give me a laundry list of reasons he is a good guy but please I haven’t believed it before, so I won’t start believing it now.  As I have stated your life recently seems like a really bad soap opera but now you are moving on but with absolutely no focus.

Jace’s odd obsession with killing you actually gave you a role in HOW but now that that absurdity is over you are just swinging to whichever person Conor points you to.  The truth is Conor might not be in his right mind after he killed a wrestler to protect you.

I guess we could say it was to protect you that is.  Anything to make Conor get over the nightmares and for you to not feel responsible for everything that has happened.

You are though.

You are the person always in the middle of every stupid drama that happens in HOW these days.  No wonder everyone has quit, Carey is front and center on TV which turns talented wrestlers off.

The Hall of Fame doesn’t protect you from the truth, Carey.

You are a shell of yourself…a rather huge shell but still you may as well just lay down when a match starts then waste your time trying to keep up with US hungry wrestlers.

Two Wins!

Uh…TWELVE LOSSES!

Even my tag team success couldn’t carry you to a win.

Blah.

If I were you I would pick the phone up and see what retirement home Darkwing is staying at and book yourself a room.  There is nothing left for you to accomplish.  There is nothing left for you to teach…

…Heh, sorry that would mean that you attempted to teach the younger wrestlers anything.  I suppose we all learned how to fake caring for something to make yourself seem genuine.  You are as fake as Conor Fuse hence why you two hang out I guess.  The only thing you need to be woken up to is your quickly falling wrestling career.

The year is almost up, what have you done to deserve a contract renewal?

Carrying Conor’s water can be done by a homeless man taken off the street from whatever city we are competing in.  You are in essence as important as someone who has given up on life.  That wake you up?

No?

Figures.

This coming Sunday it doesn’t matter if you have learned anything.  It doesn’t matter if you have taught Conor anything.  It doesn’t matter if you are energized to fight for your friend.

This isn’t about you.

You can do your best but don’t think for one second that I want to lose to you before I beat that swarming psychopath buddy of yours.

I will knee your face.

I will knee your neck.

I am the Suplex Saint for a reason and The Miracle Man will prove once again that I am far superior to you.

No scouting in the world can teach you how to overcome me.

The ribs are good.

The knee is good.

You will be a melting mess in the middle of the ring when I am done, stewing in your own blood.

Heh.

Heh.

Let’s put an end to this.

 

 

 

Jack Marley has been missing since Rumble at the Rock.

Rebecca Hines is working with an investigator to find my mom.

The Doc is acting like I could crumble at any minute while acting a little standoffish.

Ellis Jackson is himself: annoying.

That left me with zero options but to speak with the person who seemingly might understand everything going around me: Sandy Reed-Lawson.

FUCK MY LIFE.

“It is great to see you Steve, please sit down.”

I was back in her office, but this wasn’t a professional meeting.  This was personal and I had some things I needed to understand and through her usual games she usually had information that was helpful.  I bent my head to the right and gave her an annoyed look.  I looked at the couch but instead walked over to where she usually sat when she was talking to clients and sat down.  I was not a client and she needed to know that before she tried analyzing me.

“Anywhere is fine,” she said as she watched me sit in her chair.

I rolled my eyes, “you want to leave your desk and come sit on the couch?”

Sandy squinted her eyes at me as she tried to read me.  Like always, I thought.  After a few more seconds she rose from her desk and walked over to me and sat down across from me.  “This better for you?”

Blah.

I sighed, “this is a conversation between…well…whatever we are, this isn’t a time for you to give a psych evaluation.”

Sandy smiled and placed her hands in her lap left on top of her right, “you’re lonely, I take it?”

I froze.

That wasn’t what I expected her to say, and it was ridiculous, right?

RIGHT!?!

I snapped out of it and grinned, “at least you know you would be the last person I would want to talk to.”

“And yet here you are to see me even though you don’t want to.”

Not wrong.

I haven’t had the most stable time since Rumble at the Rock, and it was obviously beginning to show through the cracks.  I nodded slowly towards her, “well you are the one who decided to make Rebecca a detective without me wanting it.”

She leaned back on the couch and nodded back to me, “she asked me about your mom, and I gave her all the information I had, so don’t be mad at me that she is trying to do something for you.”

Hmmm…

She was trying to make me feel bad, but it wasn’t going to work especially with how I felt these days.  “I am glad she cares but for one I never asked for this and second what the hell do you know anyway?”

She stopped leaning back and leaned forward.  She brushed her pants with her right hand and then looked at me, “this isn’t some conspiracy, Steve.  I know very little about her other then name and when she left and a picture that your father once gave me.”

“A picture!”

That was news to me.  I had thought my piece of shit dad had gotten rid of all evidence she had existed from our home when I was a kid.  Now my mind was spinning about something I hadn’t thought about once in over twenty years.

“It was a warning,” she said, her smile fading away and replaced with a serious look.

I frowned and angrily punched the side of the chair I was sitting in, “what do you mean by a warning?”

“He told my husband and I that if we ever see this woman to let him know.  He was warning us about her which we always thought was odd and later he told us who she was, and it all made sense.”

I clenched my fists and took a few deep breaths to relax.  This conversation wasn’t going the way I had been hoping and now I had gotten off script.  “Fine, fuck it, this is getting ridiculous.  What is your endgame with this?”

Sandy gave me a smile again, “I am not some sort of bogeyman, Steve.  Am I not allowed to do something I thought would be good for you?”

NOPE

I groaned, “I need to be focusing on my career and yet every fucking few months some crazy shit happens that makes it almost impossible for me to do so.  Rebecca should be with me helping me scout my opponents, not looking for a woman that I cannot even remember anymore.”

Sandy shrugged and gave me a wry smile, “sure…scouting.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

The smile got bigger and then she let out a small laugh.  “It is obvious that you finally discovered what love is.”

I paused again because if it was that obvious to Sandy then how could Rebecca not understand.  Or did she understand but just didn’t feel the same way, so she tried to ignore it.  The anxiety I began to feel was overwhelming, but I am The Miracle Man, and I cannot show that to anyone.  “Yea…let’s not go that far.”

She put her hands up, “fine, fine, so do you need to talk about anything else?  Maybe about how you seem to have not nearly as much energy as you usually do when you argue with me.  Is your career all you wished it to be…is that what is deflating that huge ego of yours?”

I chuckled, “you sure know how to get to a point when you want to.  Wrestling was always my dream but since I lost the World Title match I have been a little less occupied with it.  Conor Fuse has always been the guy I wanted to face but even with that I am still having trouble getting to the gym or finding the edge I need to win that match.”

She nodded and then smiled, “well…is it wrestling that is making it difficult or other things?”

I shrugged my broad shoulders, “I have no idea, feelings are still odd to me even though it has been over a year since I broke the brain washing.”

Dammit, I thought to myself.  This was beginning to be a session when all I wanted to do was find out what she was after but instead I was talking about my feelings or whatever the hell I have these days.

“Just keep at it I guess, glad you decided to open up to me…”

Before she could continue I snapped out of it and interrupted her, “and where the hell is Jack?”

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

She stood up and walked over to her desk and leaned against it, “I thought my husband had told you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“He was sent on a mission to Mexico, and I believe we lost contact with him two weeks ago.”

I stood up, walked over to her, and looked down at her brown eyes, “you believe you lost contact?”

She looked directly into my eyes not even scared of me which made me even Angier at that time.  “I mean it has been a few weeks but last we heard he found who he was looking for.”

I poked her in the shoulder, “maybe you assholes should find him then.”

She pushed my finger away, “you think he isn’t looking for him?  You think you care about Jack more than the person who trained you and I am not talking about the roach Ellis.”

I took a step back, “ok, I get it.”

She stopped leaning on the desk and nodded at me, “ok, good.  If you want…”

Before she could finish I turned and walked towards the door, “nah, I am good.  Keep out of my personal life or just stay away from me in general unless I ask to speak to you.”

If she responded I did not know as I got to the door, opened it and slammed it behind me.  That had solved nothing and only left me with more questions and the realization that maybe it wasn’t wrestling that had grinded me but my own issues.

I only have myself to believe in now.

I cannot expect others to help me.

I need to focus on Bobbinette Carey.

I will show Conor Fuse what he is getting himself into.

Steve Harrison is not dead yet and the Miracles will come raining down upon ME once again.

 

Done