What a Lovely Knight

What a Lovely Knight

Posted on September 1, 2023 at 11:58 pm by Darin Zion

We cut backstage to the Nationwide Arena where Chaos 041 is being held.  We see Brian Bare in a sleek, black tuxedo looking rather nervous, waiting for his guest Darin Zion.  Uncharacteristically, Zion’s running late to the interview.  Bare paces back and forth, looking down at his watch frantically.  Suddenly, Zion makes his way towards the awkward HOW interviewer.  However, something is different about him.

Is it his attire?  Sure!  He’s not wearing his usual jeans and black HOW T-Shirt.  For once, REAL LOVE is donning a #97Red tuxedo with a bright purple bow tie.  Behind his red sunglasses, a more confident look glimmers in his eyes.  He doesn’t have the usual fake ass smile plastered all over his face.  His smile beams cockiness and coolness as he makes his way towards Brian Bare’s side.

However, there’s something else unusual about the eclectic HOW superstar.  Standing in two are two beef, masculine men donning knight helmets following REAL LOVE, decked out in chain mail vests.  They both flank Zion’s side, standing with steel pipes in their hands.

REAL LOVE approaches Brian Bare, fidgeting with his golden Rolex, looking down at the time.

Brian Bare:  It’s about f—

Before Bare can finish his sentence, Zion cuts him off.

Darin Zion:  What?  You don’t like I’m fashionably late, Bare?  You’ve got to lob a comment at REAL LOVE like that.  You think you have the clout to beat a man that’s held the HOW ICON Championship, the HOW Tag Team Championships, and the HOW Tag Team Championships?

Brian Bare:  I mean your stocks kind of in the gutter these days after losing to Brian Hollywood…

Darin Zion raises his eyebrow up as he removes his shades and clips them around the collar of his tuxedo.  It’s taking every fiber in his being to not smack the ever-loving shit out of the worthless HOW interviewer for his act of disrespect.  He pauses to regain control of himself.

Darin Zion:  It’s only a minor setback.   Instead of bitching about my performance in HOW these days…why don’t you do your fuckin’ job and ask some hard-hitting questions.  I don’t have time for these bullshit games that Lee Best’s little NPC has for me.  I’ve got autograph signings, appearances, the whole 9 yards to complete around this worthless town known as Columbus, Ohio.  So go on…ask me some questions…

Bare takes a moment to stare at the men who flank Zion’s sides.  A chill runs down Bare’s spine, causing him to choke up for a moment.  The mild mannered HOW backstage interview clears his throat for a minute, still at a loss for words.  Zion immediately calls for the microphone while Bare’s dazing off into space.

Darin Zion:  Come on Bare…sound out the words….

Brian Bare:  I-I-I-I—

Darin Zion:  You what?  You’re worried about these two?

Brian Bare nods at Zion while REAL LOVE simply shakes his head in disappointment.  Zion wraps his sinister claws around Bare’s neck as he continues to speak.

Darin Zion:  Unless your name is Rhys Townsend; you don’t need to worry about My Knights of Lovely Table, Bare, my buddy.  You pose no threat to them.

Zion knocks Brian Bare square in the back to reboot him.

Brian Bare:  It’s just—I–uh—prepared to deal with the Love Convoy tonight.  These guys are…

Darin Zion:  Very intimidating?  Oh yes!  Very intimidating!  I scooped these guys straight out of the XPRO system.  Both men have been wrestling exceptionally well down in that system Brian.  I specifically picked them to guarantee me a win against Hall of Famer Rhys Townsend.  All’s fair in LOVE and war here in HOW.  Seriously!   They’re ripping and rearin’ to go, Brian.  They want nothing more than to tear apart ANYONE who stands in my way.

Brian Bare: But who are they? Why do they—

Darin Zion:  Really?!  Again, with the worthless questions, Bare?  Come the fuck on!  In due time, everyone will know the names of My Knights of the Lovely Table.  Everyone will see their sheer power and brutality.  Their pedigrees speak volumes to everyone here in HOW once they see their true potential.  But we’re not talking about them.  Hell, I don’t even want to talk about those LOVE CONVOY jerks over in PRIME.  Vickie Hall did something so horrible….

One of the Knights immediately points their lead pipe squarely at Brian Bare’s throat before Zion intervenes and moves the pipe towards the floor.

Darin Zion:  No!  No!  Now’s not the time for violence!  Save it for the RIGHT time, he he!  Especially one that gets me the W.

Brian Bare drops straight down towards the floor, sweat pouring down his forehead.  The shaken backstage journalist regains his composure before continuing with the interview.

Brian Bare:  So, I see you’ve upped your game going into this week.  You seem to be taking Rhys Townsend as a serious threat.  Tell me what are your thoughts on?

Zion’s face turns as bright red as his suit as he yanks the microphone away from Brian Bare’s hands.  The Knights escort Bare out of the shot while Zion cuts an impassioned promo.

Darin Zion:  I’m sending a message to Rhys and towards the entire fuckin’ locker room right now.  I’m not looking for the “best competition.”  I’m looking to win using any means necessary.  I’ve played the nice guy schtick around HOW for far too long.

Yeah, I’m a loving guy.  I care about every one of the damn roster members like they’re family.  I’ve expressed my feelings on a constant basis about everyone here in HOW.  I’ve felt like I’ve injected my own brand of encouragement into this promotion on a nightly basis.

But I’m not looking to do the right thing anymore.  No!  I’m not playing any more fuckin’ games around these parts.  I didn’t come to Ohio to give that retired old hack named Rhys Townsend some great competition.  I’ve come to win the fuckin match.  I’m bringing my knights to ensure my victory.  I’m going to make that worthless waste of air choke down one of his shitty tacos, get food poisoning, and leave my GOD DAMN roster.

See, I’m the one that stays constantly around these parts.  I never left for UTAH. Even when I do outside projects—I give this place my entire heart, soul, blood, sweat, tears—the whole 97 fuckin’ yards.  I get nothing in return.  So, I’m not here to show Rhys or anyone respect any fuckin’ more.  I’m not here to kiss their asses and make them feel all warm and tingly inside when I fight them.

If they need my fuckin’ validation and respect—they’re in the wrong fuckin’ company.

This week; I’m showing the entire HOW roster a dose of REAL LOVE—TOUGH LOVE.

And Rhys—I don’t give two shits what you say about me.  I don’t care if you want to bury me six feet under.  You better put those fuckin’ words into action.  Otherwise, me and my Knights will take off your head in front of the whole fucking world.

Darin Zion snaps and the Knights release Bare.  Zion and his knights walk off screen as the scene fades to black.