WETWIBUTION

JATT STARR:  FAT??? Who the freakin’ heck are you calling fat, you blind nincomtwits?  What?  Did winning the LSD Championship cause Sektor to shove his head so far up his own ass he can’t see the forest for the trees?   And, Adam, are you so enamored with your *ahem* “teacher” that you’re trying to get up in there as well?   Did both of you dirtbags not even watch the last show where Steve Harrison, as an instrument of the HOW Gods, miraculously turn my fat into muscle and a fat suit?   

See?  This is exactly what the Thane of Starrkarth is talking about!  Sektor is so narcissistic that can’t even see what’s going on around him that he feeds you misinformation and now you look like a complete dunce!   You know what’s going to happen to you Adam?  The second you become an inconvenience, or, more likely, he loses a match, he will blame YOU and ignore that the reason he lost is because of his own shortcomings.  

If I wasn’t on the shelf right now, I’d kick your ass so hard, the next time you sneeze, you’ll need to wipe with some Charmin!   But you can thank your walking mid-life crisis for that.  I can’t even stomach the sight of either one you two turds.

WABID WABBIT:   I guess, what Jatt is twyin’ to say is, he is not a fan of eithuh one of you.

JATT STARR:  You both suck!!!!

WABID WABBIT:  But then, I gotta agree with him.  You got quite the set, diswespectin’ Jatt the way you did.  I have to question, did you eahn that wight?   No offense, but you must enjoy talkin’ out of youah ass, there Adam.  

You don’t know me.  You don’t know my wife.  You don’t unduhstand what I have been thwough.  You wike makin’ fun of the way I speak?  You gotta pwobwem with my mask?  Scwew you!    You think I’m Jatt’s little monkey, I bounce around jerkin’ off to bananas and pissin’ all ovuh the place?  Fuck you, you fuckin’ twerp.  

I’m sowwy.

I got a bit emotionaw.

You have an opinion, an offensive, mean spiwited opinion, but an opinion nonetheless.  And aw opinions mattah, even if they ah wong.

You don’t know the significance of the wabbit.  I shouldn’t judge you foah that.  

I twuwy beweive that we ah aw connected togethah.  Adam, you must be actin’ out due to some need to impress Sektah.  Or maybe you ah just despewate to make a name for yousewf.   Whatevah the case may be, there is onwy one path foah you.   

Suffewing.

This mask that I weah, it’s a wemindah to me.  A wemindah of my agony and pain.

When you wook in the miwwah, what do you see, Adam Ewwis?  

Ah you without pain?  

If you think so, then you are sadwy mistaken.

I pwan on poundin’ youah flesh like gwound chuck, bwo.   I pwan on stompin’ on your finguhs and wisten to them snap wike twigs.   I pwan gwabbing you by the thwoat and squeezing, watching youah face tuhn aw shades of wed befoah becomin’ bwue, watchin’ youah eyes buwge out of theiah sockets.  

I want you to feew the agony.  I wanna see it youah face.  I wanna see your bwood spiww, I wanna see the teahs stweam down youah face.   I want to heah you beg moah mewcy.

I’m not some sadist fweak.  Don’t misintewpwet what I’m twyin’ to say.  I am just twyin’ you hewp you.

Aftuh I have bwoken you down can you twuly see what kind of man you ah and what kind of man you need to be.   Onwy aftuh I have bwoken you, can I call you my bwothah.     

JATT STARR:  Can you stop?  What are you even saying right now?  

WABID WABBIT:  It’s pubwic speakin’. 

JATT STARR:  Do I need to speak for you?  Geez.  Look, Adam, you heard the Wabid Wabbit had to say.  You know he means business.  And I would love nothing more than to see Sektor’s face after you lose to the Wabid Wabbit because you don’t wespect….frick…RESPECT his name.   

You might not respect him now, fopcicle stick, but on Jatturday night, you WILL respect the man behind the mask.  And afterwards, you will fear the Wabid Wabbit.