Well, I guess we all know who the real favorite is around here.
And it ain’t you, champ.
You might be the World Champion, but changing the card and booking this fight on the USS Octane is a clear indication that Lee Best will support the military over a fake-ass American, seven days a week…twice on Sunday. I can’t wait to see the sheer terror on your face when the cannons and fireworks are shot.
Cause if I know Lee Best, there’s going to be a thunderous display of bad-assery on that ship.
You might want to bring your earmuffs though, I’d hate for your anxiety to get above whatever the appropriate levels are for your bitch ass. But don’t worry, if you forget yours I’m sure we’ll be able to find you a gender-neutral pair from a bodega in the West Village in time for the event.
Have you ever even been on a military vessel before, Chris? If I was a betting man, I’d definitely put my money on “no.” You’re so sick of my military service, I can only imagine what it must be like for you when we wrestle in military towns. You must be absolutely appalled and outraged by all of the patriotism and unmanufactured manliness. Wrestling on the Octane is going to trigger you so bad, I can’t wait to be there for it.
I’m literally shaking right now.
Why do you want me to stop talking about my service so much anyway? You can call it boring, you call it whatever the fuck you want, but what you can’t call it, is yours. Walking through the airports and seeing all of the brave men and women in their uniforms must really rattle you to your core.
But I’ll let all of that go for now, and get to what I’m really looking forward to on July 3rd and that’s the fact that Lady Liberty will have a front row seat to the American sized ass whoopin’ that you’re going to get this Independence Day weekend.
Oh, my bad.
Lady Liberty is the Statue of Liberty.
You’d know that, if you were a real fucking patriot.
Oh, sorry…that’s a gender affirming term. Next time, I’ll try and think of something more neutral and less offensive for you.
The hilarity that you went down the road of “leftist” Twitter and pulled out the “Orange Man Bad” bullshit is just flat out typical. It really is. I didn’t know it was going to be that kind of a match. I’m sure you equate the TDS (you might want to Google this, and self-diagnose…like now) that you have to post-traumatic stress like the rest of the unhinged blue-hairs and will tell all of your followers that you have experienced combat, because “nothing in the world compares to 2016-2020.”
My God, Chris…get yourself together.
I’d say I’m surprised, but I should have seen this coming.
You’re exactly the type to blame all of your bullshit emotional problems on the “orange man,” as you run around your apartment screaming into the camera on your phone so you can post it to one of your social media echo chambers.
Capitalism is evil.
We have to fight now.
The corporations are the problem.
Can I get a Venti Mocha-Latte with oat milk for my service gerbel, please? He’s sensitive to milk.
I’m like 97% sure these are things that you’ve said at least once in your sorry ass life.
“Stop gaslighting me!” – Chris America, ten minutes from now.
The shit that comes out of your mouth is fucking ridiculous, Chris.
Nobody believes a fuckin’ thing you say.
You’re literally just making shit up at this point, like some dumb bitch talking about a Secret Service agent being strangled by a 74 year old asshole with a bad haircut. Better yet, it’s like Elizabeth Warren telling the world that she’s Native American.
You’re weak like Malibu Rum, and you’re going to be exposed for the bitch you are, once and for all and it will be on the best weekend of the year.
No, not the 4th of July, Chris.
It’s fuckin’ Independence Day.
And after this weekend, that special day will not only be known as the day the greatest country in the history of the world declared its independence from those limey fucks across the pond, it will also be known the world-over as the day that Steve Solex liberated HOW from your bullshit.