Jatt Starr: Current Tag and LSD Champion, and close person friend of NAMBLA.
I cannot say that this man is not a competent wrestler. He has credentials miles long inside the ring and just recently he outsmarted ME and won the LSD title. I am not one to make excuses, but I do find it suspicious that Lee Best fed me to his murder dog and then put me in a ladder match. It is not hard to find out that one of my fears is heights. I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth and made it to the end but overcoming odds that are stacked against you is not easy.
You could say this my revenge match, but it isn’t. This is business because I don’t personally have anything against Jatt. I find him amusing and I hate to admit it I could learn a thing or two from him on how to take advantage of every scenario inside the ring. Do not let my nine-match undefeated streak to start my HOW career blind you to the fact I have now …gone over a year of actual in ring competition.
I can feel all the side eyed jealous looks right now from the plebeians in HOW.
It is either I don’t care about wrestling or I am choke artist.
I hear both every week like fucking clock work from jabbering assholes who want nothing to do with me. I don’t expect Jatt to go this path because he is busy trying to turn StarrSek Industries into an actual company. They say imitation is the highest form of flattery but show me a product he has sold, and I will show you a pen he couldn’t afford.
That isn’t a company. This is just their beer pong name when they face high schoolers at house parties. You wonder why Gilda left? I wonder how many times she had to pretend to be younger than she is so Jatt could ‘chaperone’ the parties. I am not sure if this is low hanging fruit or an actual criminal investigation I am starting in the disappearance of his daughter.
The truth is that it doesn’t matter to Jatt. He either does not care she is gone or knows damn well she is buried in Jattlantis. Jattlantis is what he calls his crawl space under his detached trailer that he has in the forests of Havre. I am positive it is littered with old wine cooler bottles and suicide notes he didn’t have the balls to follow through on.
I guess I am the underdog in this match but last time I had to be told repeatedly for ICONIC that Jatt was the underdog. How foolish that woe is me bullshit was. He is a Hall of Famer and part of The Best Alliance, but he had the gal to make himself some plucky upstart just trying to sell some ugly plush dolls. I don’t consider myself an underdog because that would mean I lack confidence and if it is one thing I have too much of it would be confidence.
I have been too relaxed recently. If I didn’t know any better Bobby Dean has been sneaking me his Soma’s. I am not sure when it started but I am positive it began in November. As many jokes and trust me Jatt is a joke on a personal level he is no slouch in the ring. I know he has been HOFC champion before so just because the cage is violent and would seem to be in my favor it does not mean I can pop another pill.
I will do what it takes to advance. I don’t do this because I want to face another wrestler. Let’s just say that having someone other then myself in pain is very enjoyable.
Jatt Starr is a walking sexual harassment lawsuit waiting to happen and I beg Zeb Martin to keep his sister away from him. I will do my part to leave him unable to perform for a few weeks and away from the locker room.
I do this for Gilda.
I do this for #metoo. You’re welcome LT.
I do this for all the little Miracle Marks at home who are sick of watching him steal Lesbian fashion culture.
I do this for all the people in Montana who hate you.
More importantly, I do this for ME.
Your blood will be on my hands.
You better not have STDs.