Posted on July 30, 2020 at 3:02 pm by Mikey Unlikely

The room we see is one that’s full of cigarette smoke and humidity. About 100 people stand shoulder to shoulder, the group seems to scream and shout as they all look towards the center, but we’re unable to see what’s happening through the mass of humanity. It’s a large rectangular area and people have circled around.

Many of the men around the room are holding money in their hands. Cigarettes hang from their lips, and arguments seem to have broken out everywhere.

Finally a loud grunt is heard, followed by a thump, and then about half the room jumps up and down in excitement, while the other half look flustered. There’s a mix of exciting screams and groans of disappointment.

Backstage we see Mikey Unlikely warming up. He’s rolling his neck wearing a white A shirt, and a pair of gym shorts. JFK is with him and is rubbing his shoulders trying to help him loosen up. Mikey is mouthing words to himself. He’s got some earpods in his ears so he’s clearly going with the song.

Kendrix slaps him on the back a couple times and Mikey pops one of the buds out.

Mikey Unlikely: Oi!?

JFK smiles.

Kendrix: You ready for this Bruv! Finally a real underground battle! I’ve heard about these types of places for years but can’t say I’ve ever been to one.

A confident smirk from the Hollywood C Lister.

Mikey Unlikely: Of course I’m ready big man! You’re going to be right there in my corner if I need you right?

Kendrix: Have I ever not been there when you needed me?

He doesn’t even need to confirm. They both know the answer. A burly man with a half chewed cigar that’s never been lit shows up. He’s got a nametag on that just says BOSS.

Kendrix: Oi Mikey, this is the Pit Boss I was telling you about. He’s the one who set this up.

Unlikely reaches out his hand and the two shake.

Mikey Unlikely: It’s been a LOOOONG time since I’ve done anything like this so I appreciate the opportunity, OBVS!


Boss: The pleasure is mine! We’re happy to have someone who’s a known commodity here. I just wanted to swing by and tell you you’re up next! So strap in.

A curt nod from the Unlikely one.

Mikey Unlikely: I’m ready!

The Boss starts to move towards a door and The Hollywood Bruvs are close behind. As they come through the door and come up against the mass of people The Boss pulls a whistle from his jacket pocket. Blows into it loudly, and humanity begins to make a path for him. They know the drill well.

On the far side of the room the Bookie begins to take bets on the next matchup and the odds appear on the red ticket above him.


BT: 10/1

Mikey looks up at it and furrows his brow. Under his breath he has something to say.

Mikey Unlikely: High odds huh? I’ll show these guys…

Finally they reach the center of the room and now the camera can see what’s happening. There’s about a 10 foot circle that’s roped off. Unlikely steps over it, hops in place and begins to move his hands furiously to warm up. JFK once again is hyping him up. The noise in the room is getting pretty loud. From the opposite direction that The Bruvs entered comes Mikey’s opponent.

He stands about 6’2” and clearly weighs in the higher 200 lbs range. He’s fairly muscular but not necessarily a bodybuilder or athlete. The man wears a pair of light fighter gloves. Mikey looks him up and down, then to his hands.

Mikey Unlikely: Gloves huh!? C’mon man who needs gloves!?

He looks back to JFK who laughs with him. Kendrix is over the top about it. Putting both hands on his belly.

Finally the BOSS moves to the center of the ring.

The Boss: 2 Rounds. 60 seconds each. Hit your opponent hard and hit them fast!

Unlikely nods and stretches out a bit. Finally as the Boss is leaving the circle, Unlikely takes his microphone.

Mikey Unlikely: I’ll be needing this!

The Boss grabs it back. He mouths “NO”

Mikey grimaces but acquiesces .

Mikey Unlikely: Alright bruv, But I don’t know how all these people are going to hear me…


Mikey is punched right in the face by his opponent. He falls to the ground quickly and looks shocked. The bigger man backs up and waits for Mikey to try to get up.


He checks his nose for blood, finds a little.

The Boss: Everything’s legal here except weapons.

Now Mikey (still on the ground) looks over to JFK confused.

Mikey Unlikely: Weapons in a RAP BATTLE!?

The Boss: RAP BATTLE!? This is a FIGHT CLUB!?

Mikey Unlikely: A What!? What the fuck is a fight club?

Kendrix is already pulling him from under the rope and trying to make an exit. Clearly JFK misunderstood too.



People come and people go, it’s the natural order of things. Everyone has an expiration date in this business. Everyone only has so many punches on the old ‘bump card’. Eventually your body is going to break down. Muscles become more than sore, joints become vulnerable, injuries catch up with you.

Like with everything else in life sometimes things move too fast, and it’s impossible to slow down and enjoy the moment. It’s not any fault of our own, we’re a busy breed. Moving from town to town throughout our careers, never really having a true home. We only know how to do one thing. Get up, get moving, and get paid.

That’s why I admire you Kostoff. You’ve always gone against the grain. Never been one to follow conventional methods. Living life by your own rules. I wish I could be like that sometimes. Create a legacy in one place and become a living legend. Hell in High Octane Wrestling your name is revered. At the mere mention of your last name people think of blood. They think of gore! Wanton violence that you typically shell out to your opponents and leave them lying in a pool of their own fluids.

The fans love to see it.

You love to do it.

HOW loves to exploit it.

You march to the beat of your own drum. That’s so admirable. You don’t kiss ass, you don’t do what you’re told, you are not bound by corporate structure! That’s gotta be so freeing! No chains!

…It’s also why you’ll never be anything more than a special attraction.

…It’s the reason why you’ll never be a World Champion again.

However I would like to personally welcome you back to the main event! It’s been a long time for you I’m sure. Now let me tell you why the H-wood Bruvs are so successful.

We’re every single thing you’re not. We’re great employees. We’re professionals. We kiss ass whenever we can, and we market ourselves with expertise. We’re money makers and money shakers baby! The people don’t pay to see Kostoff and co. they pay to see The Hollywood Bruvs defend their tag team titles. They pay to see MAIN EVENTS! They pay to see STARS!

That’s where we come in! I’ve been in multiple films, commercials, and radio adverts. I’ve been featured on sports channels and news shows. I get followed around by the paparazzi…well, every once in a while anyway!

JFK is the man when it comes to the in ring action. I’m not unaware he’s the better wrestler in our team. Hell I take advantage of that. What I like about JFK is he has a few features even I don’t have.

Kendrix will sip a frapp, slap a strippee, and then rip your fucking shoulder out of your socket and smack you with the back of your own hand. He’s not going to carve you open with a knife… no… he’s going to leave you begging the doctors to do that.

Fix whatever it is that’s torn, frayed, or broken that you can’t see. He’s brutal when he wants to be. He’s the edge I’ve needed for a long time.

That’s why we’re so good together. We’re cunning, we’re sneaky, we’re more than just showmen. We’re athletes who get paid to run people like you out of this business.

We’re the team you put on the billboard. We’re the team that everyone wants to see win or lose. You’re just the guy who fills a niche market. You’re here for the 22 fans at the All State who pay for blood.

We know the top plastic surgeons in the UK and the US. We’re not afraid of marks. If you don’t think this face isn’t already filled with botox and maybe a nose job or two, you’re sadly mistaken. This face is repairable, your body is not.

At the end of the day you don’t care about wins. You care about maiming your opponents. That’s fine, you can beat us within an inch of our lives. You can cut me and give me any deformity you want. All that matters is we retain these High Octane Tag Team Championships and continue our legacy.

Whether or not we end yours is immaterial.

While we’re on the subject let’s talk about legacy…or lack thereof.

Gilda Starr! The new face on the block. She’s bright eyed, bushy tailed, and ready to go! Fight the good fight, and defend her family’s name. So noble, so righteous… so stupid.

Listen up Gilda cause we’re only going to go over this once.I want you to pay real close attention, are you ready?

No. One. Cares. Who. Your. Dad. Is.

We sure as hell don’t care if your old man was a wrestler, an electrician, or a fucking barista! When it comes to this sport there’s only one thing that matters. Results.

Mikey Unlikely and JFK, we get results. You see it. It’s right here in the gold around our waists. The TOP prize in this promotion is the HOW Tag Team Championships… We’re wearing them because we’re the best tag team HOW has ever seen.

I’m sure your old man trained you up well. I’m sure he told you about every single big match he had. You grew up listening to stories about Graystone and their unbelievable feuds. About HOW World Titles and bloody wars. I’m sure he taught all about how to finesse Lee Best. Here’s the thing though. That doesn’t do you ANY good against the Hollywood Bruvs.

This isn’t 2009 and you’re not a little girl anymore. Your dad is broken and bruised like your tag team partner this week. He’s relegated to retirement and training. What advice does he possibly have to face two guys who have completely changed tag team wrestling over the last five years? Your dad is a dinosaur, he’s irrelevant, and if you want to bring his ass to the ring with you Saturday, we’ll show him that in person.

The only thing your dad ever did for you was get you a free ride to something you’re just not ready for. You’re still in training Gilda. This isn’t the place to break into the business, this is the PROVING GROUND of Pro Wrestling today. You’re going to face the Hollywood Bruvs in your debut match!? You know what that tells JFK and I?

…Lee Best wants you to fucking fail like your dad did on his way out…

…Back when Mike Best was making him his Prison Yard bitch…

Oh does that sting?

Are you going to pull the same moves as your dad and change your name if you don’t do well? Are you going to abandon the family name like he did? I wonder why he did that… Maybe he was ashamed? I would be if my title reign was less than a month too. Imagine never successfully defending your title!

What a shame.

Gilda… you’re set up to fail. We needed a warm up, Lee owed your old man a favor, I guess he figured “two birds one stone”.

Please bring all your family to watch Refueled, I want Jatt to be right there at ringside. So I can look directly into his eyes after we knock you the fuck out of our ring and watch the disappointment stretch it’s way over his ugly mug. I live for moments like that! I hope he jumps that barricade and or climbs into that ring to try to save you, because then he’s fair game. How sweet would it be to take a father, daughter, and Uncle Kostoff team down Hollywood Boulevard?

As sweet as the caramel drizzle on my frapp.

Gilda the sad fact of the matter is this. The world forgot about your dad…

But we’re not even going to let them get to know you!