National women’s history month!!
So if you’re black you get a month, if you’re a female you get a month, Hispanics and Asians get a month. Why do we only get a short time to celebrate and commemorate history of these races and genders? Because God forbid we celebrate them all year round. Because there are fragile male egos that can only share so much.
Women’s rights! It’s a joke because we don’t even have a right to what we want to happen to our own bodies. It’s still a very real issue. Sixteen years old I told the doctors I didn’t want kids. I was emancipated. They told me my husband may want kids someday. A man I may not ever meet had more say in my body than I did. It doesn’t matter I didn’t want children but a fictional man had more say in what I did with my body than I did. I know what you’re thinking “But you have kids!” Not because I changed my mind. I am Catholic and didn’t believe in abortion. Catholic guilt is a bitch…. I had my twins and at 18 asked to have my tubes tied. The doctors said I was too young and would probably want more kids when I was a little older. I pushed and was adamant about it. What was I met with? They wanted my husband to sign off on it and give permission for it. He had to give me a grown adult permission on what I did with my body!!
Now what about Mimi? Eggs can be harvested, test tube babies are a thing. Sure I love my kids, I’m not a complete monster. But it’s funny to me that my body was controlled by a man I hadn’t even met yet.
Men can get vasectomies without permission from their wives. Men can get vasectomies and have an outpatient surgery and be home later that day with minimal issues. The vasectomies are easily reversible. Whereas tubal ligations getting your tubes tied are often irreversible.
One woman can have one pregnancy all the way through in one year. It is a 10-month process. To where if a woman had sex dozens of times it could only still produce one pregnancy a year. Whereas men can produce as many pregnancies as they want in a single year the perfect example of this is Nick Cannon he has four children under a year. Why does this matter? Because birth control isn’t covered or free but yet most insurances cover Viagra for men. Because buying kotex model and period supplies have taxes.
Women are supposed to be shamed about their bodies when they have their periods and embarrassed that they need to buy these items, whereas men can walk around and joke about being on viagra cause they get it covered. The hypocrisies are ridiculous yet people wonder why we are still fighting for women’s rights? Why is it that in my state of Ohio a zygote which is 6 weeks of pregnancy, because there is a heartbeat is a law that passed here? Women often do not know they are pregnant till they have missed their period for more than two weeks? Now the way pregnancy gestation is, that takes a woman to 8 weeks and therefore she is outlawed to get an abortion because the zygote is considered a baby though at 8 weeks looks like a shrimp with a tail! It is a symbiotic relationship. It is not a baby at that point. But because old white men are the ones in power they have control and say of what we do with our bodies.
But be happy, at least we have the right to vote right? But some countries women have to cover up themselves, where you can still murder your wife legally and get away with it because they are still property. It still exists in this day and age!!
Freedom isn’t free and I don’t have as much of a right to my body and what happens to it as you males do.
Happy women’s month.
This must be sleep paralysis….
I can’t move my arms but I see I’m laying in a box of some sort. I feel cold, I hear voices talking. I see a woman, no, a teenager. It looks like Mimi but older standing over the box I’m in. Why am I so cold? Why can’t I speak? Why can’t I move?!
Teen Mimi: Scott Woodsen raised me
What? No! What are you talking about? I am raising you! No the fuck he wouldn’t raise you. I am your mom!
Teen Mimi: he was a better father and more dependable than my birth mother.
Birth mother? I’m mommy! I am your mom. How can you say birth mom like I gave up on you? I then see her older sister standing behind her. Maj I am so sorry. I failed you and your brother. I’m trying to do better with Mimi. I’m trying to fix where I messed up. Just let me get out of here. I feel claustrophobic, why does it feel like this box is getting smaller?
Majandra: She couldn’t keep us safe. She failed. I’m glad she’s dead.
What? Wait, I tried! I can’t be dead! I am here! Just look at my face! My eyes are open. I’m looking at you!! Please don’t close the lid, I’m alive! I’m Alive! I’ll be better!
I notice Scottywood putting his hands on my kids shoulders as the reality I am in a coffin and they are trying to close the lid.
“No!!!” I wake up and look around. I’m safe in my own bed, I lay back into my comfy spot on my left side facing the window. I see it’s still dark out as I try to catch my breath.
“What was it babe?” I hear a voice ask. Wait, why is there a voice in my bed? Why do l know this voice?
“Scooter tried to take Mimi from us.” I rub my eyes as I sigh. I roll over facing the opposite way to address the voice and snuggle my hand under my pillow. I open my eyes to see a shirtless Mario Maurako laying across from me smiling.
“What the fuc-” I sit up quickly and I’m in my own bed. My heart is beating through my ears. I tear back the other side of the bed, no one is there. My mind is already set and charged. I throw off my side of the blankets and stand up. I walk through the halls of my home and open Mimi’s bedroom. I rush over to her bed and look at her. My little princess is fast asleep. I kiss the top of her forehead as I hear a chain jingle and claws on my hardwood floor. I look and see a giant pitbull. There is a reason I got a pitbull after the princess passed.
“Let’s take you outside Duke.” I whisper as I walk out to the hallway. I close Mimi’s bedroom door before tiptoeing down the steps to the main floor of the house. My heart is pounding in my ears still as Duke walks with me to the back yard patio door. I unlocked it, allowing him to run around outside with the fresh snow. It’s still dark out but those nightmares. I close my eyes trying to control my breathing and calm myself down. I hear a bark at the door. It’s Duke, I open the door to let him back in and lock the door behind him. I walk into my living room and sit down on my white leather couch. I grab a throw blanket and throw it over me as I curl up on my couch. My mind is racing. Duke jumps up on the couch and lays on my feet. Normally I wouldn’t be okay with him on the couch but I’m cold. “You are the only guy not giving me trouble.” I confess as I look from my house out the window. I see Marc’s house. I feel a twinge of sadness. But I was right. I always am…
My penthouse overlooks the Chicago skyline. It’s got an industrial feel to it lots of cold stainless steel. This place isn’t girly, this place is more where I can think. People don’t know about this place. If they knew then when we are in town they’d want to stay here. I don’t like people in my space. I’m not as much of an extrovert as people think. That’s the mask though the me they see. I am more of an omnivert. I prefer to be alone more than people realize. I stand in front of the window as the sun sets with a glass of wine in one hand. I take a sip and enjoy the view, catching a glimpse of the Best arena. That place is like home. That damn building… the stories it could tell. The stories it has told… I like coming to this penthouse, I’d never admit it outloud but I even like being in Chicago. But right now? I need the silence. My kids are safe, Frankie is off with my sister. I can just breathe. My silence is disturbed as my phone starts vibrating. Even on silent it still makes noises. I roll my eyes and down my wine as I walk to the phone to see who is bothering me now. Can’t a bitch get some peace? With a heavy sigh I see it’s the mom squad. I’m not in the mood… I know they feel guilty. But I can’t let that distract me.
I declined the call and noticed I missed a few calls and text messages. I see one from DW. He may still be a little salty that I wasn’t there for his match… “Nope not ready to deal with that yet…” I scroll past the message. I’m doing the adult thing, ignore it and it will go away.
I set my phone down and walk over to my wall, pictures mounted in a row. Memory lane of HOW… memory lane of my friendships, my partnerships. I start at the first image, it’s me. Me holding the LSD title, when I beat Fear. “Fear wasn’t a factor for me.” I laugh at the nostalgia of the show fear factor. Maybe I shouldn’t have downed the wine, or maybe I need another glass. I walk past the next photo seeing myself with Darkwing and Kostoff. Kostoff has always been old, it feels like…
I see a photo of myself and two friends I brought with me, Arcangel and Dan Manheim. “Nope city.” I say walking to the half empty bottle of manischewitz elderberry wine and pouring it into my glass. Got to find a way to drown the emotions somehow. I walk past the photos and see a photo of Ascension with myself and a younger Scottywood. “Fifteen years… Fifteen years of friendship and a title is what caused this. A title belt… I guess our friendship wasn’t that strong if that’s all it took.” I laugh dryly as I sip my wine. I see more photos on my wall with Darkwing and Scottywood and myself.
“You’re the one who brought me back!” I feel annoyed as I look at Scottywoods photo. “How is this my fault? ‘Come on Carey.’ like you pushed and pushed and I gave in and came back. You wanted this!” I say as I point at the photo. “And your dreads were stupid and cultural appropriation!” I take another sip. “Then you brought those two idiots in just to hurt me cause I brought Duck back!” I scoff at photo him. “I am not in the wrong! My rivalry with mario! Now that actually mattered and you decided to ruin that for me. We should have been even, then hugged it out. But no!! You still wanted to be pissy.” I grab the photo off the wall and squint looking at him.
“Okay yeah I can be bossy, but you know that!! And you know the issues I got! My abandonment issues! You can’t blame me for what I did. You know me! Sometimes I jump the gun. But you!! My eye?! You want to take my damn beautiful brown eyes. What the fuck?” I throw the photo against the wall. I watch as the frame beaks and as I wait for the glass to shatter I hear the plastic hit the floor. I remember I replaced all the glass to avoid breaks. I pick up the pieces of the frame and throw the frame and set the picture on my counter. “What type of horror movie shit, taking people’s eyes? That should be left behind with Lee Best. But damn it Scott you’re pissy. That’s the problem, you don’t know how to let shit go. Like I was gone for forever and in all that time you were never a two time world champion? And the weird obsession you had with Mike? Like it isn’t healthy. I know about unhealthy. I’m a forty something woman who is back at a hostile work environment, why? Because my brain enjoys this. But you?… You know what?” I look over at my phone and grab it. I scroll through contacts and see ‘scooter.’ This is going to be brilliant. I hit send, it goes straight to voicemail.
“You know what? You hurt my feelings and should say sorry! Friendship should mean more than a title you selfish prick!” My eyes are starting to water, I realize my cheeks are starting to feel warm. “We have been best friends and you’re going to do this, to me? Three falls? You’re not even that good of a wrestler! I have said you can say sorry! But no you’re being a stubborn asshole!” I finish my wine and start drinking from the bottle. “After I beat you, were going to fucking hug it out so suck it the fuck up.” I say hanging up and guzzling the bottle.
The room is starting to spin.. I grab my cell and stumble towards my bedroom. The walls look like they are warped. My bed feels so far, I put my hand out to feel for the bed and land face first laying sideways. I’m not fixing myself; this is comfortable. I close my eyes feeling like I did something. I let him know a piece of my mind and he’s lucky that’s all I did. I’m not like him, I drink to numb the pain. I drink to forget… I drink to avoid. I drink because I know what’s coming…