- Event: ICONIC 2022
June 2020.
Steve Harrison comes back to wrestling after ten years and wins his first match against Brian Hollywood.
July 2020.
Conor Fuse joins HOW after wasting away putting over Mikey Unlikely in Defiance.
Everything started innocently enough as I was still undefeated after joining HOW and thought Conor had the right attitude to go far in this business.
He was an arrogant kid running around with his bodyguard: Game Boy. Cheat to win may as well been written on those ugly tights of his.
I nodded.
I was impressed.
We each had our first PPV match at Rumble at the Rock 2020 where I beat the PRIME champion Cancer Jiles (again, seriously I have beaten that guy a million times), and he lost to his kind of mentor Jatt Starr. It was looking good for yours truly but don’t think I didn’t see good things for that upstart Conor Fuse.
Then Eric Dane didn’t happen, LOL.
You are welcome by the way.
Unfortunately, the recently departed Scottywood happened instead.
Dammit.
Scottywood ruins everything…again.
Thus begins the pandering Conor Fuse era where he begins to live off the fan’s cheers and acceptance. He proved he could do what it takes to win a match against a wrestler who loved blood and guts. You would think I would be proud for him, but I was just disappointed.
It wasn’t because I lost to Jatt Starr when I finally received my LSD Title shot. It was because Conor Fuse had now become a man child and I would never agree with anything he did again.
We were supposed to be the bookends of HOW. The two new stars who won over the company in record time and we would fight everyone until we were they only two left. At one point I thought we would be allies and help each other become the new pillars of HOW.
Instead, me losing title matches became a punchline.
Instead, he became a fake nice guy to advance his prospects.
It seems nothing was meant to be, Conor. I would pour a 40 out on the sidewalk if I didn’t think Clay Byrd would yell at me for wasting alcohol. I mean…he isn’t wrong but he sure is annoying as the ‘leader.’
As 2021 came and moved on it became apparent to everyone how annoyed I was with you. You took HOFC as a joke because it was easier to lose if you didn’t take something seriously. Oh, that Conor Fuse is just a guy who likes to play video games and hang out with friends.
Everyone just forgave you.
‘That’s just who he is.’
‘Hilarious.’
‘Unlimited Lives because of cheat codes!’
Sigh.
I say it as well, Conor.
Nah, bro, nah…I won’t ever give you a pass not then and certainly not now.
This match between us should have happened a long time ago and it is almost comical that during all this time we have never faced each other one on one. We have fought in tag matches…I always won. We have even won as partners recently, so please nobody can say I cannot do what it takes to win if I can tag you into a match.
When you became Lindsay Troy’s assistant is when everything became apparent: I couldn’t stand you. You suddenly were the fucking Grapplers Local 214 mascot handing out game controllers to the members like some ignorant kid trying to make friends when he begins at a new school.
I retched.
I shook my head.
I groaned.
Going into War Games 2021 I knew that when that event ended I wasn’t waiting any longer. I was coming for your scalp. I was coming for your snacks. I was coming for every game console you had.
Then…you almost won.
A tinge of jealousy shot down my spine.
But instead of me whining like each member of the Grapplers that quit after losing War Games I stood up and the following Refueled Cancer Jiles and I looked across at you and Dan Ryan. I was there to win back the Tag Titles you guys won from Starr and Sektor when they promised Jiles and I they would defend OUR titles.
They didn’t.
Dan Ryan may as well have killed Jatt Starr.
Sektor didn’t do anything…much like now.
The look on your face when I destroyed Dan Ryan and took those Tag Titles back was EVERYTHING to me. It was almost as fulfilling as gaining the titles back. The tag titles may as well be named after me these days, but I would prefer to not be Pigeonholed into just being great at that.
I was riding high after Cancer and I defeated you and sent Dan Ryan to the retirement home where he became an accomplished reader.
Then you were thrust into a feud for the HOW Title verse everyone’s favorite Janitor: Sutler Kael.
Oh, that felt terrible.
The tinge became a tidal wave and threatened to drown me.
I was in my own head as I watched the Tag Titles retire and had to fight my own stable mates. I wasn’t who I had been, but I still couldn’t stand you. I could become Gandhi and I would still want to punch you in the face.
I was injured and as I sat at home with my knee wrapped, a crutch leaning against my couch, multiple drinks going down my throat as I watched you become HOW World Champion.
Oh No!
“OH NO!”
“OH GOD NO!”
Yelling ensued.
Glasses were broken.
Alcohol ran out.
You then went on to lose the title, YES…and then regain it at Iconic 2021, FUCKING HELL.
I buried my head, and it took a lot for me to even come back to HOW.
I promised myself I would try to forget about you. I would pretend that– new Steve new relationship. I am not lying. I came back and had decided I would give US a break. I would let you live in your corner, and I would live in my own. We didn’t need to talk. We didn’t need to insult each other. We didn’t need to see each other.
Instead, you said…’well about that…NOPE.’
My first match back was on January 23rd, 2022.
February 6th, 2022:
Fuse bends over again, picking up an Xbox controller.
Conor Fuse: In-between commercials -or a Steve Harrison segment LOL- we can game. God, I hate that guy. Do you hate that guy? Thumbs down FO SHO.
Classy by our champion just a few weeks after I came back from knee surgery and put my health on the line again as I carried Kostoff in our tag matches. REST IN PEACE, big guy. Fuck Lee Best.
I honestly laughed at the comment because you were trying to give it back to me after all that time. But let’s be honest it was a pathetic attempt to troll me after my Miraculous recovery from my injury. HOW just isn’t the same without me keeping it real with you, Conor. You need me because it seems I am the only person that calls you out for this nonsense.
March 6th, 2022:
Conor Fuse walks backstage sporting a brand new Super Mario Bros. 3 jacket and the World Championship around his waist. The gamer looks into the camera and smiles.
Conor Fuse: Big night! Noble Gaming is gonna tear the roof off. From no lives to a life, David and I will battle my BFF and Darkwing, -who’s got a super bad-ass name, – to the last levels in a chance to win the Tag Team Cham-…
Fuse’s voice trails. Someone is standing in front of him. The camera turns to reveal Steve Harrison looking like he got up on the wrong side of the bed. His beard is a mess and his head hasn’t been shaved in a week.
The two standoff. Harrison looks Conor over and Conor simply crosses his arms.
Steve Harrison: Well if it isn’t the tag team “specialist”…
Harrison sighs and shakes his head.
Steve Harrison: Didn’t you lose the Tag Team Championships twice to me?
Conor looks like he’s not impressed, although he isn’t arguing, either.
Steve Harrison: I’m pretty sure I defeated you and Ray McAvay once and then you and Dan Ryan once, too.
The Ultimate Gamer lets out a huff.
Conor Fuse: Yeah, those happened…
Conor puts a finger on his chin and begins tapping.
Conor Fuse: Say, where are you in this tournament, buddy? Semi finals? Finals? Watching from the sidelines?
Harrison slightly scoffs and follows with a shrug.
Conor Fuse: The only living in the past I do is Link to the Past.
Steve Harrison: Heh, well in the present you owe me money for that ridiculous Tag Team name you are using now. Noble Gaming…right? Look I take cashapp unless you have spent all your money on freemium games and Cheetos?!?
The two continue to size each other up. Conor walks in close and pats Harrison on the chest.
Conor Fuse: Nice to see you again, Steve.
The Last Level Legend walks past The Miracle Man, who lets him pass without further problems.
Conor Fuse: Pretty sure Jiles was the guy who did it all for your team. I could never really beat the dude…
Harrison doesn’t turn back. He just shakes his head.
Conor Fuse: If David and I win, I’ll keep the titles warm for you.
Steve mouths the words “you do that” as Conor turns a corner.
Nobody can say you aren’t a confident little shit.
It isn’t the main reason, but you still owe me money for stealing Noble Gaming from me.
You decided that you wanted to reopen this between us. Yet you never gave me a shot at the title, instead you defended it against Scott Stevens as much as possible. If there was a saying worse than calling someone a paper champion you would be a poster child. A picture of you sitting in crushed week-old hot pockets with Double Mountain Dew dripping down that unable to grow facial hair on your chin bragging about your hard-fought matches would be the thumbnail online for ‘worse than paper champion.’
You don’t get it though, Conor.
I don’t care how long your reign was.
I care that YOU had a reign to begin with. I am even doubly annoyed you have had two.
Thumbs down is not about your talent inside the ring though. It is about your personality or what I believe is a manufactured character. You act how you think others want you to act so you can be likable. Even when facing that piece of shit Mike Best, you just wanted him to put his arm around you and ask you out for a drink.
You are missing truth.
You are missing relatability.
You are missing being a genuine human being.
Palling around with Bobbinette Carey will not show you to be a real person either. You are both perfect for each other and you two are the phoniest wrestlers in HOW. We know Jace is an asshole, and he admits it. We know Steve Solex believes women should be in the kitchen and he admits it. We know Clay Byrd likes crappy hats, but he admits it…right?
Heh, it doesn’t matter.
Who are you, Conor?
A friendly gamer or a guy who literally caved in a man’s head at Rumble at the Rock?
I know you are having trouble coming to terms with that but whenever I see you act off the Conor Fuse script I am positive it is calculated. Everything you do is designed, you may as well be running for Congress or whatever the hell they call it in that frozen hellscape called Canada. I would hope you might have a look at your life right now and see if you should change anything.
I suggest being fucking real, Conor.
I don’t want your stupid controllers.
I don’t want to shake your hand.
I don’t want to listen to you try to make yourself the better person. You must be a person to even compare yourself to another one. You are a robot, straight taken from one of your video games. You spend your off time studying how people act, how people talk, how people overcome challenges before them and yet you still come off as an uneducated AI.
Westworld is a TV show not reality, Conor.
Let me reiterate to you that War Games 2022 was a difficult time for me. I was thrust into a match for my LSD Title for a shot at joining War Games and fight for YOUR team. I had to beat your BFF to then defend you against The Board. Instead of being neutral you told Bobbinette how to attack me and in the end I won with multiple broken ribs.
How helpful could I possibly be now?
You are petty. A lot pettier than I have ever been Mr. Leader.
You couldn’t leave it alone and thus in the end your leadership skills were the reason you lost the World Title.
So again…why am I always pointed out as the instigator and the bad person when it comes to us?
Well guess what?
I am going to accept it because I don’t want to be the nice guy when it comes to beating that cocky smirk off your face.
I have been far too lenient since I got back from my injury. I am going to fucking take whatever is left of that controller and stick down your throat, Conor. When the tears form on your eyes and the blood starts dripping from your mouth you will understand what STRONK went through when you continually hit him in the head after he was unconscious.
Do you care about Carey that much?
Hell…does anyone care about Carey that much?
The answer is NO, it was never about her. It has always been about your EGO, and I hope you can accept that I am not here to feed it. I never have and I never will. You are a selfish self-absorbed gamer who couldn’t lead a horse to water so why did anyone think you could lead grown men?
You cannot play with others because you can’t share the spotlight. You couldn’t even give Clay Byrd and I time to celebrate our tag title victory without coming out to ruin it with your stupid controller with that stupid forlorn look on your face.
Stop pretending to care.
You don’t like me and have made that as clear as I have in my disdain for you.
So, let’s just stop with all these lies and get to the point with this, Conor. I was hoping it would be for the wrestler of the year but instead Clay Byrd has been given layup after layup coming into Iconic.
Congrats, big guy.
But that doesn’t mean that this match doesn’t mean the world to me.
What do I have these days?
Lost my title match against America.
Lost the tag titles after I won them back.
My personal life is back to being chaotic and I have no idea how to pull out of the tailspin I let happen.
I guess you could say I have nothing left to lose. The old cliché works here though because it is the goddamn truth right now.
That’s not to say that I will accept a loss to you. Oh no, I don’t think I could hold my head up after that.
I know you are the favorite to win.
I know you haven’t lost a singles match all year.
I know people drastically underrate me for some ridiculous reason.
This isn’t about who people like though because as I have proved my entire time in HOW is that I don’t care what others think about me. I do my job and my job currently is to humble you, Conor.
The past has built to this, and I don’t see how it is going to end it but at Iconic I put my foot across your throat and stomp on it until all I can hear from you is a wheeze struggling to escape that annoying mouth of yours.
Iconic cannot come soon enough.
Miracles are not required but an ambulance on site is.
I bid you adieu.
—
I cannot think of a worse month than one where we are forced to stay in Chicago the whole time. I have to see the same abortion they call Pizza. I have to feel that wind on my shaven head which feels like a razor blade going across my beautiful bald head. Lee Best has quite the sense of humor and when someone finds it please let me know so I can pretend to laugh and then toss him in the Chicago River. We know you can barely see but maybe you can swim.
That’s a Best Bet I wouldn’t mind losing.
Heh.
At least I had escaped for a few days even if that escape was a Highwaymen workout at Joe Bergman’s Barn. Look…I don’t mind working with them, but I do not enjoy seeing more cows than women. The Barn was very interesting, and I admit it was helpful for us as a group and I would rather Clay Byrd win the title then America to hold on to it. That is hard to say but I am brutally honest.
So here I was inside The Best Arena a week before Iconic. I took my phone out of my pocket, pushed some buttons until I found the text message and read it again and rolled my eyes. I had been summoned to this dirty arena by an anonymous text message that warned me it had compromising information on me.
ME with compromising issues?
Hah, please when I have ever given a fuck about that.
It was probably some cretin hired by Conor Fuse to try to distract me, but you can never be too sure. I would rather know something than ignore it even if it doesn’t matter to me.
I walked the concord of the arena and remembered the times I spent there selling the glorious Miracle Enterprise products to the wrestling public. The amazing Best Alliance products or the product that helped save millions of people: The Minister Holy Water. Oh, those were the times, but they never brought me the respect I deserved so I stopped focusing on the products.
They suffered.
Then I just stopped caring.
Sounds familiar doesn’t it?
I stopped in front of where the Merch Table used to be. It was now covered up with a tarp probably because something new was about to be opened. I sighed and remembered the times I created a product for Hughie Freeman for him to whine like a baby and disappear again. I don’t think any of us were surprised, but it did anger me to have to ship them to some impoverished African country and not make any money off it.
“I climbed a ladder here without being scared.”
“That’s how you remember it, I remember you shaking in fear haha.”
I jumped, startled by the voice, and turned my head quickly to see the smiling face of Jack Marley. It was surprising as I hadn’t heard from him since we got to San Francisco. I took a step forward with the surprise angering me a tad. “Where the hell did you come from?”
“Glad you got my text, mon.”
I froze and looked back down at my phone and then back up at him, “do you have a new number?”
“No.”
“Sooooo….”
Jack’s smile faded, “you don’t have my number saved?”
I shrugged, “why the hell are you sending me cryptic texts and where the hell have you been?”
He took a step towards me, and I noticed a tan and a few cuts on his cheek. “I had to go to Mexico, mon. Sorry about Rumble at the Rock but at least I am here to cheer you on to beat Conor Fuse.”
“Well…you look like shit,” I paused and sighed, “but, I am glad you are back,” I said quietly as it took all my strength to give him that compliment.
His big smile came back to his face and he moved fast and went in for a hug. My eyes got big, and I put my hands up astounded by his move. He got within inches of me, and I came down hard with a back hand, but I stopped just short and tapped him as lightly as I could and then pushed him back a few feet. Jack put his thumb and index finger up to show it was that close to happening, “some day that hug will change your life.”
“Don’t make me rethink being nice a second ago because I am not hugging anything but a World Title at this point.”
“Rebecca?”
My shoulders slump and let out a deep breath, “et tu, Jack?”
Jack nodded, “yea I could eat, mon but let’s wait till after I show you my surprise.”
I let that sink in for a bit. I just stared at Jack hoping he would understand why I looked like I wanted to drop kick him into a dumpster. He just grinned though. “I am just going to assume that someone wrote that text for you because you don’t even know what half those words mean.”
He titled his head with a smirk, “well…Sandy picked me up when I made it back to America.”
Of course, I thought. Sandy was back involved in everything again and doesn’t seem to care what I think. “What is the point of all of this?”
“Oh…yea!”
“Yea?”
Jack walked over to the Merch stand that was covered and then looked back at me with a big grin on his face. He grabbed the tarp and yanked it down and tossed it to the floor, “TA-DA!”
The tarp well to the floor to show a Miracle Enterprise sign with the table and shelves half full of products. My mouth dropped and I stared at Jack, “what the hell?”
“Surprised?”
I nodded slowly, “of course I am, might need to save your number now haha, how did this happen?”
Jack picked up a large cowboy hat, “don’t worry about that, but remember this? Clay Byrd almost suffocated Jatt Starr in death in one of these.”
I laughed and walked over to the stand and started going through the products, “most of this needs to be replaced but this is a great start…thanks.” Oh, that was hard to say but this was a nice surprise because Miracle Enterprise needs to make a comeback and who better to sell amazing products than The Miracle man himself.
Jack nodded, his grin getting even bigger as he took a joint from his ear and lit it, “hey mon, how about that et tu food now?”
I sighed, my happiness with him didn’t last too long. “Ok, I guess I could eat.”
Fade