Has it really come to this? I feel like I could keep a diary with all my thoughts and every action I took in every decision I’ve made as of late. The truth is, if I did, one diary wouldn’t even be enough to cover what I’ve done in the past few months alone. I don’t even want to think what I would have recorded if I did have one. There’s so much shit I have on my mind that would be too sensitive to write down in a simple fucking book. Also, what would happen if this so called diary of mine got seized and taken? No thank you. Although, I’ve got to say…the fact that I’m even worried about what would happen if I had a diary disappear and confiscated by the law, says a lot…I don’t know…I know things have slowly changed in my life, and I changed with it. But all the knowledge I’ve had a chance to soak up with my mortal enemy…if you want to call it that…has changed my outlook on life…inside and outside of the ring. Why do I feel at peace knowing someone in my life at least supports my wrestling career? Shouldn’t my best friends be supportive of me with all my wrestling endeavors? It angers me just thinking about it. I don’t know where I should place my hate. My best friends who want the best for my well being but have publicly been non supportive in my wrestling career? Or what’s potentially even sadder…my mortal enemy who supports it a hundred fucking percent? That’s really fucked up, isn’t it? I guess I’ve always been fucked up…it just takes a special kind of someone to really see the beauty of that. Oh yea, that’s right…my mortal enemy does. I’d let that sink in, but quite frankly, the saddest part was I didn’t even need to. Yes, more things changed and most of it was rising to the surface. I was finding more of a connection with The Chair than ever before and I wasn’t even pissed off about it. In fact, I found peace in it. Too bad all that peace was was a underlining conflict that my subconscious was trying to flood to the surface…problem was…that subconscious was being flooded out and locked out with each passing day. I’d have to pay for my actions…but today, I was living on an euphoria on being appreciated and that was enough for me…
ALL THAT GLITTER IS NOT GOLD
Dead or Alive didn’t pan out the way I expected it to be. A man of my stature in today’s age in High Octane Wrestling expects more and demands even more. I not only crave results anymore, I damn well have a fix on this drug called taking what you want. I don’t care if people don’t think I’m fucking deserving of it. I’ll be the fucking judge of that! If you haven’t figured it out by now, I literally could give two shits less of what the HOW roster thinks of me. Some will call me a joke. Some will call me washed up..yet some call me undeserving and overrated. They don’t even bother using the terminology of “has been” either. I’m not good for that hashtag anymore. So what if I won two HOW World Championships when all these legends weren’t around. At least I was fucking around! I’ve carried this god damn company on my back and I did it for an entire year! Everyone wants to forget about that piece of history and you all should be ashamed of yourselves for that shitfest of a feeling! At least I was still fucking here in HOW! I never fucking gave up on this place when all you fucking HOW legends and “future” legends want to dismiss and leave out. You weren’t here. You don’t have the right to lay claim otherwise. I’ll flat out dismiss any and all talk on that immediately. The fact of the matter is I spent an entire year in this company on top carrying it while all you other motherfuckers were gone. Where were you all, anyways? PRIME? I’d mention any fisher price feds, but chances are, nobody would give a flying fuck!
Truth of the matter is, every single one of you in HOW today make me fucking sick to my stomach. I don’t give a fuck about any of you..but you all are embarrassed and ashamed to not be around when HOW needed you the most. Some of you weren’t even in this god damn company when I was dominating night in and night out. No…the real truth is that all you legends and Hall of Famers that are back are ashamed you weren’t around when I was a fucking someone and carrying HOW on my god damn back! You weren’t here and half of you turned your backs on HOW when I put it on mine to continue the legacy of this company and I did it with no fucking apologies! I gave every sacrifice in the name of HOW. I gave every sacrifice to keep the machine going so the least thing all you motherfuckers can do is THANK me for it! But I won’t get that. Every single one of your pride won’t let you make that acknowledgement. That’s alright. No really…it’s fucking fine! I thrive off the pure disdain you all have for me and I feed off of it. You know, lately, I’ve been channeling all my hate and effectively using that in the ring. It doesn’t matter if I’ve spent more time with my mortal enemy…at least he acknowledges my worth. He appreciates what I’ve done in this business and he also appreciates that I can work effectively on my own.
Sure, I don’t have many allies in this company…but I don’t need them. At least…most of them. I didn’t come back to HOW to be pitied or felt sorry for. I don’t have any time for that fucking bullshit! I came back for results and to finish my legacy on top of the HOW mountain. Funny…I didn’t need anyone to get me there. I did it all by my fucking self! At least I can say that with confidence despite all you motherfuckers who are here in HOW today. You all sure as fuck weren’t here when HOW needed you the most. Oh no…I FUCKING WAS! But that’s ok…I don’t expect any of you to acknowledge it. It doesn’t matter if I’m on opposite sides of the aisle with everyone here…maybe even the GOD of HOW himself. He remembers…I don’t give a fuck how many times Kostoff dropped him on his fucking head…he remembers. But here I am ready to seize the top of the mountain once more. But who stands in my way? Literally everyone. Hell, even the GOD of HOW himself, does. I didn’t come back to HOW to get sympathy. I sure as fuck know none of you are going to give me any of that. No…I came back on my own accord and I came back to prove I can still climb that mountain and take what I want. Some have forgotten that I’m a businessman and I can take whatever I want. A lot of you fuckers forgot how dangerous of a man I can be. Well this time around, I found tapping into my hatred is very rewarding. I tapped into it when I faced Josh Conway, David Noble and even The Board. I’ve found when I do that, it makes me a better man. There’s just something about beating my opponent to a bloody pulp that makes me feel more alive. It’s been pretty fucking effective, too! Sure, I lost to Clay Byrd a couple weeks ago…but it’s my first singles loss since I’ve come back a different person. I had him on the ropes nearly the entire match and it cost me making ONE fucking mistake to cost me the match. Sure…it sucked…but I learned from it. Clay is pissed off ever since he lost the HOTv Championship and I can’t say I blame him….but if he’s going to throw a temper tantrum from losing one match…he’s not only doing alright, but he’s letting his emotions get the best of him.
I know a thing or two about that. That’s why I learn from my losses and evaluate them for my next match. If there is one constant…it’s my hatred. I feed into it…lean into it. I assure you losing to Clay was a minor misstep. This week, I face off against a man who is the closest person to knowing how I fucking feel about everything.
Of course, I’m talking about you, Xander Azula. I’m sure I speak for you when I say this, but you’re tired of feeling the same way I am treated right? Surely I must be close. But you just have to accept the way the cards fall for you sometime. You and I have some things in common. We beat The Board to earn ourselves a HOTv Tag Team Championship at Dead or Alive. I will admit that I did feel that having to rely on a tag partner was a particular burden. We did the impossible and beat The Board to earn a shot at the titles at Dead or Alive. Even though we weren’t pinned or submitted, we sure did well for ourselves. I don’t mention this often, but you impressed me for the couple of matches we were teamed for.
Now before you let that get to your head, know this. Know that this week when we face off…all you should be worrying about is how I’m going to throw everything at you this week. We aren’t teaming, so you can expect I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure I pull out the win this week. I don’t know about you…but I plan on being at Rumble at the Rock again this year. I was able to showcase my talents last year at Rumble at the Rock while there were some particular people in my match who didn’t seem to give two fucks. Well…I put all that aside and was rewarded for my efforts the following match and that’s because Brian Fucking Hollywood ALWAYS shows the fuck up! It only proves why I should be the one at the top of the mountain and being forced to to carry this company on my back! You won’t EVER hear people say I was worth a shit or did anything for this company…and that’s alright. You want to know why? It’s because at the end of the day, most of the people here in HOW feel ashamed that they ever left this company because they saw the ship sinking and never gave a flying fuck to try and save it from drowning….or its inhabitants.
That’s why I will always give a fuck about High Octane Wrestling, Xander, and that’s why I have no problem risking my life and my career in defending the machine that keeps the cogs going. Sure…my methods today may be unorthodox from what I did back then…but at least my feelings on this company has never changed. Only difference between then and now is that I realized if I execute on my hate actually gets more results.
This weekend, I’m going to continue my dominance and pick back up where I left off. Don’t even pretend to understand or worry about how I take care of business. You wouldn’t understand it…let alone know where I’m coming from. You couldn’t possibly understand. This weekend it’s all about being killed or kill. We may have meshed a bit…but I haven’t ever taken my eyes off the prize and my purpose and mission statement in taking back HOW into my own hands.
Trust me when I tell you this…there will be no hard feelings for what I do to you in that ring come Sunday night. I just know what I want in my quest to get back to the top of the mountain here in HOW. I will hurt you. I will beat you to a bloody pulp…and I won’t shed a god damn tear or sweat in thought for what I do to you in that ring. It’s strictly business…and I hope you are aware of that when you step into that ring against me.
Come ready and come prepared because you never know just how close you are to walking into an Executive Decree and I promise you that I will make sure you feel what I feel and I promise you that when it’s all said and done…you’re the one who will be lying in the middle of the ring staring at the ceiling and wonder just what went wrong…because when it comes to stepping into that ring…I get my business done…by any fucking means necessary.
See you Sunday, Xander.
THINKING LIKE THE ENEMY
As Hollywood’s personal jet flies above his private strip in Los Angeles, Hollywood looks down and sees ten squad cars awaiting his arrival. He did, after all, contact Gerald Reeves about his return. It wasn’t immediately known at the time what Hollywood’s conversation was with Gerald, but judging by the response of local law enforcement, it was obvious Hollywood’s message to Gerald was taken out of context. Hollywood shakes his head in disappointment as he looks on at all the government vehicles awaiting his arrival.
Brian Hollywood: “Well, I see it was a mute point when I personally called Gerald about a meet and talk.”
Hollywood was beside himself. He should have known Gerald wasn’t going to pull any strings…even for his best friend. From Gerald’s point of view, Hollywood was working with public enemy number one and that didn’t sit too well for him. As Hollywood looks out his window, his personal pilot gets on the PA system in the jet with a question for Hollywood.
Pilot: “Uh…sir…are you expecting company?”
Hollywood sighs and nods his head in disgust.
Brian Hollywood: “Sadly, yes. Don’t worry, though. I was anticipating this response.”
Pilot: “So what would you like me to do, sir?”
Hollywood lets out a slight smile in Gerald’s methods and poise to bring law enforcement to greet Hollywood. It was expected that Gerald played by the book, despite Hollywood being his best friend. However, Hollywood was already one step ahead of Gerald. In a shocking twist of events, Hollywood takes a step out of The Chair’s playbook. He was officially spending too much time with him and it was about to show with his next move.
Brian Hollywood: “Don’t bother making a landing. I want you fly over the strip and keep flying!”
Pilot: “Very well, sir!”
As the jet flies overhead, it doesn’t make landing preparations as the jet flies over the strip and continues to fly overhead before it flies right past the strip as Gerald reacts in shock and surprise from the ground. It doesn’t take long before Hollywood’s phone begins to ring. Hollywood looks at the caller ID and sure enough, it’s from Gerald.
Brian Hollywood: “Ah Gerald. What can I do for you this evening?”
Gerald Reeves: “Don’t fucking play coy with me, Hollywood! You told me you were coming into town and now you’re backing out of that deal?!”
Brian Hollywood: “Please, spare me, Gerald! You and I both know I’m smarter than that! I told you I wanted to speak and meet up privately. We aren’t doing it like this! So until you can respect my wishes, I’m afraid we’re going to have to switch things up!”
Gerald Reeves: “Well…things really have come full circle, haven’t they? You really are officially lost! When you take a page out of your mortal enemies playbook, you truly have gone full blown over the edge. I guess there really isn’t any saving of you at this point, huh?”
Hollywood doesn’t reply as he shakes his head knowing Gerald was partially right as Hollywood ends the call as his jet flies overhead and flies past Hollywood’s private strip as the scene slowly fades to black…