The Voices In My Head

The Voices In My Head

Posted on July 4, 2024 at 9:32 pm by Noah Hanson


Well, Wargames didn’t go the way I had hoped. My Colonels got annihilated, they got destroyed and for what? Hell, I don’t even know what happened. I was too busy passing out again to Sektor. That is twice now that I have been put to sleep by the man. I guess the only consolation I get out of all this is that I didn’t get a cinder block to the face. I can look at this a few ways.

One. I can bitch and moan about the match and cry Lee a river cause the man still won’t give a shit.

Or..

Two. My plan is still in motion, Mike is still my end game. Getting my hands on Mike is still my overall goal and that has not changed. Mike lost his world title. Lee is probably disappointed to a degree. Lee is probably still happy because Mike still has the HOFC title. I know it’s not the world title and Mike is probably sitting on his couch in his modest, little, fucking apartment and crying himself to sleep in the fetal position. I was never gonna willingly help you retain the belt and win Wargames. Working with you is the single most dirtiest thing I have ever done in my long career.

Having to watch you just sit there and basically mock all of us that were busting their asses just made me wanna puke. But Daddy Lee had to make sure he could do as much as possible to protect you AND protect his own interests. I deserved a shot at Mike. I deserved it not that fucking cunt. But that is the way Lee does business. I guess I never saw it back then, I guess I was just too blinded by the fact that I was happy to be teing with my friends. I should have seen the damn writing on the fucking walls back then. That mistake won’t be made now. I know how you do things now, I know the games you play. And while the deck may be stacked against me, you can’t hide Mike from me forever.

It starts with the ladder match, that is where I start my climb. Each step of the ladder is a step closer to my goal because mark my words I don’t care what title Mike has, that will be where I cash in my shot. And there is no one that will cost me a chance at getting hands on Mike.

NO ONE.

We have people in this match that I have admiration for, people like Drew Mitchell. The man has integrity and fire. We worked well together as a team, as a unit and I never thought once about turning on the man. This match is something totally different. This is about moving my name closer to the end game. This is about getting the shot at the one monkey on my back. So while I trust and respect Drew and I do. This is about my goal and I am sure Drew is thinking the same thing. He has to be, this is his chance to rise to the top.

And I can totally respect him for wanting to make a move to the higher part of the ladder. I can’t have him stepping over me to get there.

Just like Brian Hollywood, a man that I have so much respect for, someone that I look at like a brother. Brian, you deserved better bro. You just won a title, you did something that put you back on the right track and now what are you doing? Staring at a damn ladder, wondering why you have to start all over again. I know you’ll do everything you can to win this match and start your fight all over again. I know you want to cleanse this place, I know that is what you are all about these days.

And I am the last one to tell someone not to go after something they are passionate about because of everything going on in my life. The thing is Brian, I don’t want you to be in my way, I don’t want to have to look at you and maybe second guess who’s story is really more important. My goal is the only thing that matters. It has to be this way. There is no way around it now. Mike had his precious title taken from him but he still walks around with another belt. I just don’t get it, Lee just has his minions, his boys are always the ones that benefit from everything.

Not that this some ground breaking fucking news. This is how Lee has been running things for years. People fucking died. Benny killed his own dumb ass right in front of everyone. And yeah I have seen all the posts on the HOW website. Joe Hoffman basically cradling the balls of Benny right before they put him in the ground. Let me make this clear.

Fuck Benny Newell.

In the ass…

The man made a living outta making as much bullshit at MY expense. So yeah fuck the dickhead. As far as I am concerned, if I had been awake to see it I would have stood up, clapped and yelled “MAGNIFICENT!!!”.

As far as I am concerned he can fuck straight off to hell. I am sure I’ll see his dumb ass sooner or later. There is no remorse here, no fucking tears. You expect me to mourn a fucking clown? Get the fuck outta here with that shit. Maybe Lee can open up that moldy billfold and actually get a decent announcer that won’t sound like a total fucking tool on live TV.

I mean what kinda bullshit is Lee trying to slide past everyone? Having fucking announcers driving a tank. Having people that have no business being in a cell, let alone getting pins over actual talent. What a fucking joke, great job Lee you took what should have been a war and you turned it into your own personal crusade to make sure that the world title stayed in the alliance.

Can’t say I’m shocked by that or anything. This has been playing out for months, you just had to pay attention and it was all right there in front of you. Show after show another piece would be laid in place. Lee played us all, like anyone other than America was ever gonna walk out with the world title. So great job America you get to play with Lee’s balls all you want, no questions asked. Or maybe it’s the other way around, Lee might be playing with your red, white and blue balls.

I can be proud of my appearance in the last Wargames, not happy with it but I did it my way. Being on Mike’s team was not the ideal position for me to be in because I wanted to get my hands on him. Is getting a one on one match with his boy really THAT hard? But now we get to watch Mike chase down his title. We get to see him become the hero again and regain his lost love, his precious world title. Drew and I beat the world champ and now as some sorta consolation prize we get to fight in a ladder match where the winner gets a mystery title shot. Fucking great.

I look at who is in this ladder match and I can see three men that have gotten screwed over in one form or another. Men that have fought and bled for this company and then you have someone that has gotten chance after chance. Silent Witness keeps getting that brass ring dangled in front of him and he keeps going tits up each time. Maybe Lee just needs to quit giving this fucking turd chance after chance. I guess Lee has some sorta hard-on for the dude because here he is getting yet another chance. He doesn’t deserve it, he has failed on so many occasions that it is time for him to move to the back of the bus, stand aside and give someone else a shot. Surely there is someone here that can put together a better showing?

How many times can you give this clown a chance to win the big title? Just wondering how many times Witness is gonna have to beat Lee off to get more shots then the fucker deserves. You’ve had yer chances buddy, you’ve shit the bed each and every time so do us all a favor and move aside and let someone else have a shot at this. But I am sure you’ll posture yourself at a point of dominance, like you’re this incredibly powerful wrestler that is gonna walk through all of us. Reality of it is this, your time in the spotlight is over, you need to be shown that, you need to learn that your place is now at the bottom of the ladder. Holding it up while the rest of us do the climbing now.

I wanted to show Lee that this withered, old body was capable of carrying this place. Lee just likes it when his pals are the ones doing all the heavy lifting. The funny thing is I really wanted to be that man one more time. I could see myself standing in the cage holding the world title over my head. I guess dreams aren’t always meant to be obtained here in HOW. Do I think I’m better than some of the talent here? Fuck yeah I do and it’s not arrogance, it’s just believing in yourself when no one else does. And that is all there is here in HOW you have to be the one that goes all in on yourself because no one else will. All I can say is that hopefully what happened to Zion wakes his ass up.

Darin got it a lot worse than a lot of us. I wonder if he ever got to the ring. I wonder if he ever got involved in the match at all or was he already done before the match got too far. I feel bad for my old friend, I see how he’ll deal with it. He will overreact like he always does and make some rash decisions. He just needs to take a step back and see things the way they are right in front of him. See this is where HOW and Lee get the reputation they do for good or bad that is the rep they get. Lee is fine with it either way, his place, his way. But man if he thinks this is gonna break me down or run me off he is sorely mistaken.

My endgame is still in play, going after Mike is all I care about. I wanted to be the one to be standing over Mike with his belt, I thought karma would have fixed all the bullshit that had been done to me years ago. But karma didn’t do me any favors, didn’t extend a hand and pull me to my feet. Instead karma pulled its helping hand away just as I reached out and watched me fall back to the ground and then pointed and laughed at my plight.

So now a new chapter is being written, one that will probably shock a lot of people. I know I have said that this was probably my last run in this business but you know what? The more I am here, the longer I am part of this shitshow of a company, the more I want to turn this fucking place upside down, give it a good shake and see what kinda trouble I can stir up. Now am I gonna care who I piss off? Not one fucking bit. Am I gonna care if I hurt some feelings? Fuck yer feelings. This is all about going after my great, white whale. This is now also about taking on a side quest and that means shoving a rusty, metal dildo right up Lee’s ass.

And Lee you don’t deserve lube. You never respected me enough to treat me decently and you won’t get the same from me.

Edinburgh, Scotland

Wargames

HOW medical tent

Noah Hanson is shown lying on a gurney and a medic is looking him over, taking vitals. He walks over to a table and grabs a small vile and then walks back over to Noah and runs it under his nose a few times and suddenly Noah jerks his head a few times, his eyes popping wide open and he sits up quickly.

“Keep those penguins away from my Bud Ice!” Noah screams frantically.

“Noah?” The medic yelled, grabbing him by the shoulder. “Noah!?”

Noah looked around the room confused. “Where the hell am I?”

“HOW medical tent.” The medic replied. “We had to wake you up.”

“Did I win?” Noah curiously asked.

“Win what?” The medic asked.

 

“Wargames!” Noah barked.

The medic chuckled a bit. “Nope, you passed out after Sektor…choked you out.”

Noah slouched slightly, his head dropped, his demeanor changed. “Another time where Sektor put me to sleep. Guess that means I didn’t make it to the title phase?”

“No sir, top ten I think but no title.” The medic replied as he jotted down some notes. “I’d tell you that you did great but you don’t need me to patronize you.”

Noah nodded. “Yeah a loss like this is just something that was gonna happen. I guess I just thought I would have done better.”

“Yeah funny Blair Mose had…”

Noah cut off the medic by holding up a hand. He looks like he is gonna be sick and then looks like he chews it down. “If I were you, I would not say anything about anyone that wasn’t an actual wrestler getting involved in a match. It wasn’t supposed to be like a real, live version of Celebrity Deathmatch. Those people had no business getting involved in the match Blair, Brian and Benny all getting involved in the match and having better runs is fucking embarrassing for the company.”

“Benny’s dead.” The medic replied as Noah sat up on the gurney.

“Well…” Noah started to say. “…no sense in stepping on the man anymore.”

The medic looked over a few charts and then turned to Noah. “Your stats look fine so you’re good to go.”

“So where’s BJ?” Noah asked as he climbed off the gurney.

“He didn’t make this trip, some kind of business back home.” The medic replied as he took some notes.

“And you are?” Noah asked.

“Dr. Greene.” He replied.

“Well nice to meet you.” Noah replied as he shook the doctor’s hand and then exited the medical tent. As Noah left he saw many of his Colonel’s sitting around, some bloodied, bruised, some worse. Noah walked over to one of them, patted him on the shoulder.

“We didn’t sign up for this Noah.” The kid cried as he was bleeding from the head, his wound wrapped with gauze. “All I saw was this shitty metal band coming at us.”

“Well shitty metal bands are a dime a dozen in America. Look I’ll have a jet chartered for you all once you all get medically cleared.” Noah said, trying to reassure the young man.

“You said they were crazy, not homicidal.” The kid complained. “We weren’t ready for that kind of insanity.”

“Sorry kid, I take full responsibility for all of this.” Noah said, trying to comfort the young man. “Just send me your medical bill and I’ll take care of it.”

Noah walked away, his mind wracked with the guilt of dragging people into something they were not prepared for. Hell to be completely honest Noah was probably not as prepared as he should have been. But he can try to make things right for the young men that were just wanting to be involved in the last Wargames and not get sent to the local ER. They didn’t deserve this, but Lee is fine with his inmates running his asylum.

Kansas City,KS

The Hanson Estate (yeah still calling it an estate, fuck you Mike)

7/2/2024

6:45 pm

Noah was glad to be back home, his body was bruised and beaten. It was a humbling experience, something he could say he got to be in even if it was the last one. He turned the knob of his home, pushing the door open with his knee and then walking through, pushing the door closed with his foot. He looked exhausted, emotionally drained and even looked a little pissed off. “BABE!?”

Noah dropped his bags at the door and looked around the house. He was hoping to see Karen but nothing yet. He walked around and finally made his way to the kitchen, he opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle of tea and then sat down at the kitchen table. The house was weirdly quiet, almost too quiet as he looked around oddly as there were no sounds whatsoever. After a few moments Noah got up, grabbed his bottle of tea and walked upstairs. Nothing.

He looked even more puzzled than before and walked out the back door and looked around. He saw a plume of smoke down the drive to his gym and driving range. He started walking because his cart wasn’t by the house for some reason.

A short time later…

Noah is walking towards his gym and there are a bunch of vehicles lined up in front of the gym. Noah looks even more confused, he wipes a little bit of sweat from his forehead as the humidity sucks at the moment. He can hear what sounds like people talking and then nothing. Noah reaches for the doorknob and turns it and then walks in. The lights are off and the gym is pitch black. Noah runs his hand along the wall and finds the switch and flips it up.

“SURRRRPRRRRIIISSSSEE!!!!” The crowd yelled as if Noah was a conquering hero and was returning with his spoils.

Karen, their son Marcus, Demetrius Burrell, Garvin, Umbrage,Justin Evers, Adam James from his days in Wrestling Midwest were here. Dr. Bare, Dr. Wollet and many more friends and family are all in attendance. Karen is the first to greet her husband.

“What is this?” Noah asked, trying to make sense of it all.

“We all wanted to welcome you home. It was D’s idea to get some of the old crew from the old Wrestling Midwest days here. AWS MAN sends his regards he couldn’t make it though.” Karen explained, her proud smile growing across her face.

“I didn’t win anything…” Noah said as he struggled to keep his composure. “I was put to sleep.”

“Doesn’t matter bro.” D explained. “You went out there and fought in a match you haven’t done since Blood Factory and that is a win in our book.”

Everyone cheered loudly and there was a buffet of grilled food and all kinds of other stuff behind them. Noah walked over and started shaking hands and hugging friends and family alike. In the back was a man sitting in a wheelchair. It was Jackson Dre. Noah stopped in his tracks, as if he had seen a ghost.

“Jackson?” Noah asked, looking confused. “I am so sorry.”

“Not here looking for an apology man. Looking to put all that behind us for good.” Jackson said as he extended his hand for Noah to shake.

“I like the sound of that.” Noah said with a huge smile and tears running down his face.

The two rivals shake hands and share a brief man hug.

“What about me?!” Justin Evers barked. “You tried to gut me!”

Noah shook his head and walked over to Justin and hugged his former tag team partner. “Good to see you man.”

“Been a while.” Justin replied. “Can’t believe you’re still doing this. All these years later and in this type of fed.”

The party got going full steam as friends and family were shown drinking and eating. The former wrestlers are all sitting at one table and the family members don’t know what to make of the collection of large men all laughing and carrying on like it was Cleveland,Ohio 15 years ago. There was one small group: his doctor, his therapist and HOW Medic BJ Honeydew. The three look concerned at Noah.

“So what do you think?” Dr. Bare asked.

“I think we all need to be ready for the levee to break.” Dr. Wollet warned.

“What does that mean?” BJ asked.

The camera pans back to the party. Focusing on a laughing and smiling Noah.

“Trouble for everyone involved.” Dr. Bare warned.