Sounds like ICONIC 2021 Conor was feeling himself. Sounds like he was ready to take on the world. Sounds like he had the night of his life! Congrats, man! If this match was taking place at ICONIC 2021, I’d sure be shaking in my fucking boots.
That was two years ago.
The fuck is your malfunction?
You just keep picking new things to yell about. Like you can outlogic your way to a victory over me inside of a cage. It feels erratic and nonsensical, like you’re just wildly throwing punches with your eyes closed. Is this how nerds fight? In your head, are you doing well? Because you started strong, Conor, but you’ve been slowly chewing off your own legs with every single promo you’ve dropped on me since.
I get it, Conor.
You’re shootin’ on me.
Problem is, you’re firing blanks. Wildly. At everything but the target you’re aiming at. Yeah, dickhead, I beat the dogshit out of my own son. He knew what he signed up for. He knew the score. He knew the price to get back into a real wrestling company, one from which he’d been exiled due to his own hubris. Here’s the real thing you should be asking, kiddo:
If I was willing to do that to him…
What am I willing to do to you?
My own flesh and blood, Conor. I beat him within an inch of his life. If I care about him even an inch more than I care about you, what do you think happens at 97Red? Do you think there’s going to be some moment, while I have my elbows raised about your half caved in skull, that I’m going to stop and have a moment to reflect? That I’m going to roll onto my fucking back and fire my clip into the air like the end of Point Break?
Conor, I’m going to fucking destroy you.
Flesh and bone. Mind, body, and soul. No continues. No free lives. No save points. You are stepping into a murder dome with a murder man with murder hands. I’m starting to legitimately become concerned that the country of Australia is going to try me for a violent crime at this point— that you’re so fucking delusional that a judge may deem you unfit to consent to this match, and that everything I’m going to do to you could be an actual felony. There is not a shred of evidence in the known universe that you stand even the faintest of chances at beating me inside that cage, but instead of humbly apologizing to me for the disrespect, you keep screaming “ICONIC 2021!” and doing finger guns like a fucking lunatic.
Do you understand what I’ve done in HOW?
Do you know what I’m capable of?
Not rhetorical. I’d actually like you to respond to those questions in writing, so that I can give it to my attorneys before I step into the cage. I’m building a defense here. I need a jury of my peers to realize that you legally understood the chance that I was going to beat you into a vegetative state, because I have a reasonable suspicion that you’ll be unable to testify at my fucking trial. This is man shit, Conor, and I don’t think you’re ready for man shit. I just don’t, I’ll be honest. I think you’re a good kid with big dreams who does cool flips, but I don’t think you’re ready to step into a cage with the greatest wrestler in HOW history and survive five rounds.
That’s not a punchline.
That’s not wordplay.
That’s not a gag.
It’s just the truth. There have been a lot of guys in the history of this company who were good. A lot of guys who were great, even. Every single one of them… every. Single. One of them, has fallen before me. Every single Hall of Famer. Every single one. There is not a single member of this roster that I have ever faced that I have never beaten. I’m just built different. This is where I thrive. This is where I dominate. I believe that YOU believe that you’re the GOAT, Conor Fuse, but a goat to a God is a sacrifice, and never before in my life have I seen livestock so willingly and eager lay down upon my altar.
You will fight.
You will bleed.
You will lose.
Sorry for spoilers.