The Tradesman

The Tradesman

Posted on September 10, 2020 at 10:25 am by Hughie Freeman

Seventy six percent of prisoners go straight back to jail within five years.

We are all so quick to point the finger and provide lynch-mob opinions. But instead of physical castration, slamming the caged door and throwing away the key, handing out lethal injections like bags of candy.. rehabilitation as a whole needs to do more.

In a small office setting in Alcatraz; home improvement like any other scenery we’ve seen here in Alcatraz on HOTv.. Hughie Freeman is present. The Pikey Fuck himself is sitting directly across from a woman that has her own desk and all the trimmings; computer, printer and random bits of office stationary.

The woman unintentionally is sitting so close to Hughie Freeman that their knees even graze. She fiddles with a pen as she looks to make notes.

Woman: What skills do you have?

Hughie Freeman looks totally disinterested as he slouches on his seat.

Woman: Where do you see yourself in five years?

Freeman doesn’t even look at the woman. As she seemingly goes through her checklist.

Woman: What is it you want to do for a living?

The woman, or should I say.. careers advisor, holds for a response. Meanwhile, Hughie Freeman does not alter from his lethargicness.

The woman sighs.

Hughie: … Whatever I wonna be.

The woman seems startled. Almost like she wasn’t expecting Freeman to engage in her activities.

Hughie: A cook, a park ranger, an important man in a suit like Scottywood. Walking around like my farts don’t stink and having to answer to no one. Yeah.. that sounds really fucking nice. Maybe I’ll get my perfect white wedding with RICK on sunset boulevard after all.. a happy-go lucky kinda guy, an ‘in for a penny and in for a pound’ mentality. Living the best life humanly possible. Your man will be what he will be.. Without any of the labels. There ain’t no spreadsheet available on your computer for my limits. In this enterprise or another.

The woman seems more surprised by the nonsensical tangent Freeman has expressed. Meanwhile, as he reverts back to being sluggish.

Woman (whilst touching Hughie’s leg, sympathetically): You know, a trade could be exactly what you need..

Freeman looks at the woman in the eyes for the first time.

Hughie: I need a miracle…… right.

The traveller smiles and laughs, almost knowingly. Except the only person seemingly clued-up on Hughie’s plans…. is Hughie.


In this place.. hopes, dreams and miracles don’t exist, mate. The thought of injustice is your only contention. Cos let’s face it.. We’re all innocent here. Those other little thoughts just complicate your life inside of Uncle Sam’s. They make you lose focus and make your time here a fantasy nightmare.

But when you whittle off names on the HOW roster like you’re a local fishwife.. Your man Hughie Freeman simply can’t get you out of my mind. Fella, you simply don’t just become another opponent in Gen Pop.. You become Hughie Freeman’s everything. Regardless of whether you care for me or not, mate.. It’s my job to care about Steve Harrison. Every opponent your man faces gets a place in Hughie’s heart. Cos that’s what keeps me going.. that gives the hopeless hope, gives the dreamers a dream, and a whole brand new space for miracles to happen.

I’d be a fool to think of Jiles’ lovely surfer blonde locks yet. And your man certainly can’t think of potential LSD glory.. yet. Cos the moment you hope of getting out.. it all comes crashing back down. Harsh lessons are given out here every single bastard day. The moment you think you’re nearing a free-man again, is the moment Scottywood moves the goalposts. It’s ever-changing and Hughie Freeman can only think about freedom only after that ‘three’ at Rumble At The Rock.

You want to try and pull the wool over Hughie Freeman’s eyes? You want to try and kid a born and bred travelling man? Steve mate, you’re barking mad if you think your gunna fool THE most craftiest man in the game. Cos you’re no Miracle Man. Your record and HOW ranking can’t be fluked. Your four wins aren’t miracles. They’re every bit earned, my friend. You might not care about me, but just so you know… I really, really care about you. I care about treating you mean.

Cos the fighter that can’t wrestle that everyone keeps going on about.. keeps knocking them down. All of the vets, all of the accomplished talents.. all getting bested by a jobber that can’t work, allegedly. My care for this thing isn’t embroidered on some latex pants to show off every week.. It’s in my fighting spirit that comes so naturally. It’s really that easy. My care is my craft, and if your man Hughie Freeman has to craft a knockout on the end of some of that expressive dance then so be it.

But you, fella.. you’ll hide behind the brashness we’re used to seeing from you. Trust me, mate.. It’ll feel like brass when I hit you. Cos this facade of you not taking it serious.. that it’s some big laugh; your man Hughie Freeman ain’t buying it. Cos the HOW Resident Pikey is too shrewd. Your man has been around the block a few times to not fall into the same trap as everyone else you’ve faced.

See, I’m a true fighting historian, me. And if you think I know nothing about you cos I’ve been groundlocked from all HOW events.. then you’re wrong. If anything, Steve.. I know too much about you. Cos when you’re stuck here in Alcatraz.. your next HOW opponent is all that matters. You let your inner-Stevens go to work and you study your fighter until there’s nothing left to study.

You’ve got plenty of tricks and maneuvers that have bailed you out of trouble in the past. But believe me, mate.. there’s nothing up that sleeve that can escape Uncle Sam’s Devil Island my friend. That can duck a heavy Fatality to the chin. That’ll want to be back on Mrs. Harrison’s tit as soon as that bell rings.

Fuck mate, you belong in this hellhole more than your man Hughie Freeman does. Your nothing more than a glorified conman, a fraudster.. I can see straight through you. You want Hughie to believe that you won’t stand and trade. That you will need to resort to your usual foolish antics in order to put me off my game. I’ve seen you, I’ve studied you.. I know you like to clown. I know you like to fucking dropkick fighters shins. But your man Hughie Freeman is far too clued up for that. You won’t lead The Famous Gypsy Warrior down the same path as everyone else. Cos I’m ready for that style of fight; a non-fight.

But are you ready to switch up styles, Steve? It’s alright saying you are. But trust me, mate.. a bald chicken can’t become a dazzling peacock overnight. At some stage in Gen Pop, when you’re done acting the fool and treating this as a joke.. you’ll need to stand and trade. Alcatraz finds out all of the bluffers, fella, and the only way is fighting.

You remind me of The O’Connors back in Cork, Ireland. I specifically wanted to fight the oldest brother, Jacob, back in 2007 on Bell’s field. His YouTube video should be still up.. it was hilarious. Not the fact that he was shouting into his little camera-phone, and that he was wanting to shite in a bucket, but the fact he was challenging Hughie Freeman to a fight.

The thing was though, mate.. The O’Connors were deluded. Jack O’Connor, the father.. he got bashed by my father many moons ago and if he thought his son could get some sort of retribution then he’s as thick as pig shit.

But where The O’Connors hide behind their bullshit and fake reality; Steve Harrison does the exact same thing.

On September 12th.. I’m fighting Steve Hairrison that’s one hundred percent. But really, it might as well be Jacob O’Connor. Same bullshit.. different man.

But I am a tradesman.. your man has never fitted a boiler in his life but I damn well know how to stand and trade. That has been my job my whole life and Hughie-boy just happens to be the greatest. And if you’re man enough to stand right in front of me, Harri.. Which is how we sort out all of our problems here in Alcatraz; you’ll certainly earn my respect. Without question, you’ll get a hiding.. but at least it’ll be out of sincerity.

Unfortunately, I smell a dirty horrible cunt. You’ve fucked the job taking the piss out of my very existence here Alcatraz. Your man’s livelihood, your man’s.. freedom.

Hughie Freeman will be a free-man again, that I promise you.

It’s time to go to work..

Working nine till five on your fucking face.