Maybe I just need to take a step back.
Maybe I just need to really see the elephant in the room for what it really is.
Missing March to Glory may have not come as a shock to anyone in HOW. But it wasn’t a shock to me, either.
Yes…you heard that right. Has it really come down to this? Has it really come down to a time where the name Brian Hollywood was nothing more than a joke?
I don’t know. My life has been…complicated…as of late. I’d go into detail about it but if I did, I’d be giving a few certain individuals an easy time in hunting me down. I’ve got a lot on my plate right now. Hell, if you’d be in my position, maybe you’d see it too…but you don’t. None of you do. None of you ever had my back. I’m a man standing alone. Perhaps I did that to myself. Or maybe….just maybe, it was meant to be that way.
I tried the whole tag team thing again…against my will, even. I won’t lie…there was something there with Eli and myself as a team. I didn’t see it at first…but it was something promising. Until it wasn’t. Neither one of us made the March to Glory card. Neither one of us wanted to be teamed with the other but perhaps that was the best thing to come out of it. I actually was reminded and remembered the value of looking out for someone other than myself. But where is Eli now? I don’t know. She’s been radio silent. I’ve been radio silent. The show has passed me up. There was a time in my career where nothing would pass me up. Now, with the accompaniment of time, that’s all it’s turned into. I’m the lone gas station out in the middle of nowhere that’s passed by without giving a second thought. I’m the guy no one feels sorry for and rightfully, I don’t need to be felt sorry for. I don’t want anyone’s sympathy. I’ve never fucking wanted it.
Yet here I stand…a man no one can take seriously anymore. A man who no one wants to associate with. A man everyone despises as a joke and nothing but poison out of anyone’s mouths. I’m the passerby…I’m the guy no one wants to even bother spending any time in the ring with. No one wants to waste their breath on Brian Hollywood. Maybe it’s a message. Or maybe it’s just been turned into the every day postage card punchline tradition. I’m a waste of time. Maybe their right.
They’ve all successfully pissed me off. I don’t need ANYONE in HOW! I don’t even need to say EVERYONE in HOW needs me! I know what you’re all going to fucking say! What is this fucking cunt joshing about this time?! This guy is out of his mind! You wouldn’t be wrong…but at the same time, I’m the man everyone loves dragging through the dirt and everyone loves to trash and destroy in the ring without any remorse. Again….maybe I just had this coming.
Throughout my entire career, perhaps I asked for this. Perhaps I deserve everything I get in HOW…but make no mistake about it…everyone STILL can’t stop talking about Brian Fucking Hollywood! Point being, people can’t keep my name out of their fucking mouths! It doesn’t matter what I’ve done in the ring in the past, or even recently. No one can stop talking about me period and I don’t know whether to take it as an insult or a fucking compliment. I must be the best worst human being in the history of HOW and you know what? Maybe…just maybe I have come to….embrace it.
Which brings me to my opponent this week.
I can’t help but to think that you, too, are in the same situation that I’m in. You may not be like me, but like it or not, you’re in the same category as me. You’re just as much in the dirt as I am. You didn’t make March to Glory either and it shows. So maybe you take that frustration out on me and try to get back on track. But I’m looking at doing the same thing. Or maybe….just maybe, I need to be kicked a little bit harder to send me over that edge. The edge that I need to take a very close fucking look at in figuring out which way I need to go in my future in High Octane Wrestling.
Maybe I deserve the biggest beating ever.
Maybe I continue to be the HOW complacency punchline. Maybe all it takes is one more swift ass beating of a lifetime that sends me over that bottomless pit in helping me wake the fuck up and get a grip on where I want my career to end.
And make no mistake about it….it’s getting close. I can sometimes feel the breath of retirement on the back of my neck. But maybe I’m not done just yet.
Maybe I have one more honest and hell raising path to getting back to the top left in me.
I’ve done nothing BUT think about it. Something has to change…and maybe that change may or may not come with an ass beating from Steve Harrison or an ass beating FOR Steve Harrison…
Who really knows for sure.
All I know is that this match with Harrison will be the harbinger of what comes next for Brian Hollywood. Win or lose…there will be a path and that path will make itself known….
One way or another….
I promise….there will be something that comes out of this match…and I know that no matter what path that is….none of you fuckers are going to give two shits about it…..
Until I make you.