The monkey on your back

The monkey on your back

Posted on December 3, 2021 at 11:23 pm by Jace Parker Davidson

It has been one hell of a year.

From coming out of retirement after five years away from the sport to attacking Ray McAvay on an episode of Refueled. All the way to becoming the greatest HOTv Champion in HOW history and becoming the #1 ranked wrestler in the company.

From hired gun for The Best Alliance to mutual respect with Conor Fuse.

If you had told me two years ago that I would return to HOW in 2021 and all of this would have happened? I would have thought you were just trying to jerk my chain. But in eight short months all of that has brought me to where I am today but there is one thing that has still been left unsettled. One question that has been gnawing away at the back of my mind and whispered through the lips of wrestlers and fans alike.

Is Jace Parker Davidson as good as he used to be?

That is a question that doesn’t really have a definitive answer but if you held a gun to my head? I would have to say the answer is no. When I first joined HOW I was just some snot nosed kid that has bounced around from independent company to independent company never really finding a place to call home. Sure, in all of those places I was successful in those places, but I was a big fish in small ponds. What is the point of being successful in places that were closed, forgotten, and so irrelevant that I barely remember the names of most of them?

High Octane Wrestling is different.

When I first got here it was like Lee Best had strapped a rocket to my back and I just took off. I went undefeated for months. I had a Hall of Famer pretty much throw in the towel and hand me the HOW ICON Championship belt. I won the Solitary Confinement match at RATR in my very first try beating two Hall of Famers and a waste of space for the HOW World Championship belt. Record long reign as HOW World Tag Team Champions with my ex-wife. I had HOW in the palm of my hand but if you want to know the truth?

I had no fucking idea what I was doing.

I was hated and booed by my fellow superstars because I was just that damn good. I became the Monkey that everyone needed to get off of their backs. However, I was just flying by the seat of my pants until it eventually caught up to me. After setting the longest reign as HOW World Champion during the last era. I was beaten for the title and fell out of the World Title picture altogether. Sure, I was still successful. TV titles, Tag Titles, LSD, and ICON Championships all followed but it wasn’t until 2015 that I was able to win War Games and recapture the HOW World Championship belt.

2011 – 2015 I went four years out of the main event picture.

Now here we are all these years later in a different era of HOW and I’m trying to capture lightning in a bottle once again. You would think with all the years of experience in my back pocket that it would be a simple task. Yeah, right, this is HOW, and nothing ever comes easily. That’s the Rubix Cube puzzle that I’m trying to crack here but for the life of me these motherfuckering colors just don’t want to seem to match up. I’ve won a title; I’m ranked #1 in the company but there just seems to be a glass ceiling that I’m chipping away at trying to break. 

One night can change all of that.

This week in Manchester it’s the Lethal Lottery and that means I could end up in a battle royal for a title shot of my choosing. Or I could be lucky enough to draw a match against either the current HOTv Champion, the current LSD Champion, or even the current HOW World Champion. Then again, my luck could end up being complete shit and my name does not get pulled at all for a match. That begs the question of how do you prepare for a match when you’re not even sure who your opponent will be or if you’ll have an opponent at all? Typical day in HOW where you have to prepare for everything and expect the unexpected.

So much to choose from but which one do I want?

The easy route would be landing in the battle royal. Of course, there would be more opponents to deal with, but it was over the top rope, and you wouldn’t have to actually pin or submit anyone. There is also the possibility that I could be met with friendly faces like Jatt Starr or Conor Fuse. Alliances could be formed until it came down to the two or three of us and then it would be the best man that night that would walk away with his hand raised in victory. The winner would have to choose just what match they wanted to have in the future but if you’re not aiming for the #97red belt then what the hell are you honestly doing? I wouldn’t be mad at all with this option, but it almost seems to be too good to be true.

That’s just one way the Lottery could end up.

Another possibility is the fact that I could earn a much-deserved rematch for the HOTv Championship belt. A Championship belt that I took from being meant to be passed around between the lower half of the roster and brought prestige to it. When I was HOTv Champion that belt was the best thing going on Refueled. Every time I defended that title belt, I brought out the very best in my opponent because they knew what a win against me and the chance to wear this title meant everything at the time. These were the most competitive matches on the card and the belt actually meant something.

It was actually an honor to represent the HOTv network.

But that brings us to the man that currently holds the belt. The man that has used the HOTv Championship belt to move all the way up to second place in the rankings. The man known as Jeffrey James Roberts is the man that now represents the HOTv network, and that belt just doesn’t shine like it used to. No longer are the HOTv matches the most competitive on the card. Our Champion doesn’t inspire people to wrestle the matches of their lives against him. No one is a buzz about the HOTv Championship matches on television each week anymore. Just look at the piss poor effort that was put forth in Alcatraz. You had an entire PPV built around the Seven Deadly Sins and this match, that ended up being for MY HOTv Championship belt. And only two of the opponents even bothered to put forth a halfway decent effort.

Even the desperate and needy to get into the match former HOW World Champion Cancer Jiles couldn’t be fucked with actually trying that hard to win that belt. The legacy I built for that title is being pissed all over and I’m not happy about that Mr. Roberts. Sure, you could say that you just strike that much fear into your opponents but we both know that’s just a crock of shit. No one in HOW fears the diet Coke version of Hannibal Lecter we have running around. You took bites out of Zion and Dresden but look at them now?

Zion has moved onto giving John Sektor a run for his money as LSD Champion. And Elizabeth decided to bite back which you put as something she needed to imagine with legs so it would go somewhere.

But where are you going Jeffrey?

You like to wax poetic about this, that, and the other. You say you only live in the deep waters, but have you actually, truly been tested yet? When I was Champion, I had RAH at a Championship level, Darin Zion, Steve Harrison among others but the only real challenge you’ve faced is David Noble who has barely gotten his HOW legs yet. Now you seem to have recruited a quitter in Arthur Pleasant on your side because you realize that even though you are HOTv Champion you have no fucking IDEA what the deep waters of HOW are really like. But trust me if I draw you Mr. Roberts? I’m taking you down to the river. I’m going to press my boot firmly on the back of your neck and I’m going to dunk you down into the deep waters.

I’m going to hold you down there and let you take a good long drink of HOW’s deep waters so maybe then you’ll realize all your talk of being the new reality and forever changing is nothing more than horse shit.

I feel better getting that off of my chest.

Let’s move onto another possibility in the LSD Championship match. A match that of course will be a technical wrestling contest because the current Champion is a big mustached pussy. The so-called Gold Standard, the self-proclaimed Machine is afraid of getting his hands dirty. He would love for you to believe that he’s done something creative and innovative with the LSD Championsh– excuse me…the Lee & Sektor Division Championship but all he’s done is made the LSD Championship belt into the now retired ICON Championship. And from the moment those words first left my lips everyone’s been shouting it from the rooftops.

But that doesn’t bother the Machine, does it? He isn’t programmed to have emotions. He’s cold, calculating, and doesn’t lose his cool under pressure. Except when he does like all the fucking time, but we’ll get to that.

I want to talk about this reign as Champion where Sektor has taken the most hardcore Championship belt in HOW history and turned into a circle jerk of wrist locks and head lock takeovers. The fact that the man even considers himself a great ‘LSD’ Champion is a slap to the face of all of those that have come before him. Hell, this whole act is just a rehashed version of Max Kael safety chief gimmick as LSD Champion just a lot less entertaining. Men have given their blood, sweat, and tears for this title. It was a main attraction and something every hardcore fan lived and died for in HOW.

John Sektor on the other hand wants to dry hump you on the canvas for thirty minutes.

That’s because he’s a MACHINE and that’s just what Machines do, I guess. The more logical explanation is the fact that old Seksational John has a few gears loose in La Cabeza. I mean I understand it though between all the booze, drugs, and many, many, MANY exits from HOW over the years, old Johnny boy has to look out for his health. Another chair shot to the head of Sektor and that could be the end of his career. I mean the man is already scouting out talent in MVW to live vicariously through in the future. Maybe that’s why the man that thinks there is no one better than him in this company took the cowards approach to the LSD Championship. John likes to say no one deserves a shot at the LSD title, that no one is stepping up to challenge him.

If we wanted a boring, go nowhere division we would have kept the HOFC title around.

John, you’ve ruined an entire division, an entire legacy and for a veteran, a Hall of Famer to do such a thing knowing that this is what people are going to remember you for is just plain stupid. People aren’t challenging because they want the excitement that was the HOTv Championship belt when I held it. It’s so bad that you had to go strolling over MVW and poke the hornet’s nest there just to make sure that you had an opponent for ICONIC. This isn’t 2016 anymore John, we don’t give random one-off title shots to strangers from different federations just to get by. No one knows who this Redneck William or whatever the fuck his name is happens to be and nor do they care but this is what you have stuck your flag into the ground for. A floundering division that needs help from the developmental federation to keep it afloat during the most important PPV arc of the year.

Pathetic.

If I happen to draw you John, I’ll be happy to show you what a real LSD Champion looks like. Let’s not forget that during the go home show heading into RATR I had you beat and if it wasn’t for Clay Byrd and a steel chair, I would have pinned you and made myself the #1 contender to that belt. You think you have the advantage here because you know you have to defend your title? Boy, do you ever have another thing coming. Not only am I willing to beat you at your own game but after I get my hand raised in victory, I’ll take some long overdue revenge for Jatt Starr and what you let happen to him at War Games.

Then again maybe I’ll do worse than that. Afterall, you accused him of holding you back when you’re holding the whole LSD division back.

And that just leaves the prize that everyone wants.

The HOW World Championship belt, #97red as she’s so elegantly referred to by us HOW faithful. Drawing this match would be the definition of winning the Lethal Lottery. However, our Champion would like you to believe that spot is unlucky and drawing him would mean literal death if it meant that he retained the HOW World Championship.

All because he’s killed people here in HOW before.

Yet when I beat down Ray McAvay, stuffed him into a locker, and set him on fire in the Staples Center I was chastised and punished for literal murder on a television show. Then again this is HOW so again it’s all in the realm of who you know and who you blow.

Anyway…

Back to the point at hand. Many people consider our current holder of #97red to be the GOAT of HOW and the stats are undeniable. However, you’ve got to be a full-grown ass bitch to call another man the GOAT of a profession you’ve broken your back for year in and year out. And when I look around, I see nothing but full-grown ass bitches doing nothing but feeding the already over inflated ego of the man that calls himself the SON of GOD.

It seems as immortal and almighty as our Champion wants us to believe he is, he surely spent the entire week ripping off Shirley Jackson as the basis of his angry manifesto. It was cute though, I mean that’s what you do, right? You’re the guy that makes obscure references and plays on words to give everyone a giggle. You’re like the pun guy of HOW and while that’s all fine and good I’m not in the mood for a haiku about you making someone wear their balls like a bolo tie. This about #97red and the fact that you think you’re unbeatable.

Sure, quote the Champions page on the website all you want but you know what I see? I see a man that had one reign as HOW World Champion that lasted an outstanding 266 days. Impressive but if you subtract that one reign from the nine others? You get a total that barely eclipses my three reigns as HOW World Champion. That means a bloated amount of title wins and very little time spent as the Champion. A lot of reigns that lingered around 50 days or fewer, but this is the guy everyone calls the GOAT.

Sigh, Michael must we continue this same song and dance?

You want everyone to think you’re special. That you’re the only GOD TIER Champion of the company. That everyone’s playing checkers while you’re playing chess. But I know you quite well Michael. Deny it all you want, backpedal and tell everyone everything you ever said about yourself was a lie. It doesn’t matter, you’re still the same little boy that loves the sound of his own voice. The little overachiever that stumbled upon the Golden Goose egg of being the son of the guy that happens to control the only company outside of OCW and UTA where you ever meant anything worth a shit.

Congrats, Slugger.

You went from being Jizz to being born so clearly that makes you the GOAT. But as I stated before, I’m not a full-grown ass bitch and you’ll never see me call you that. So, you want to call me a sinner, you want to call me unlucky? Hell, even if I draw you and you need to ‘kill’ me to retain your title?

At this point just fucking do it.

You think you got the balls? Fucking try to kill me Michael or just snap my neck and leave me a drooling vegetable in a wheelchair for the rest of my life. Cause that’s just what it might take. But that wouldn’t be necessary, would it? I mean obviously Jace Parker Davidson is a mid-carder. Those were your words, were they not? It’s amusing you say things like that then go about doing everything possible to duck having to face me. But I haven’t forgotten all the slights, all the passive aggressive bullshit you like to spew against me just like in the old days.

Now I might not draw you this week and that’s fine.

But I’m keeping my eyes set on the prize, Michael. I’m coming for you and that title regardless of how many obstacles you try to throw in my direction. Unlike the rest of the HOW roster, I’m not scared of you or am I afraid of death. So while you talk about blowing people’s brains out, I see nothing, but that little boy locked in a bathroom blowing his beloved family member. Having his head stroked while his mouth was being turned into a daycare center. You’re not much different from that little boy you were back then Michael. Everyone has bad weeks, off days and I know for a fact it only takes three seconds to scatter everything in the world that you claim you care about.

But these are just the words of a man that’s past his prime, right?

I know I’m going to always be the black sheep of this little ragtag HOW family and I’m fine again but Sir Holier than Thou you better get down on your knees and pray that you can duck and dodge me one more time. You better pull out your phone and text God and talk that good shit about it’s in HOW’s best interest that JPD doesn’t catch lightning in a bottle once again.

Three seconds.

Three quick seconds.

And once again I’m the Monkey that the mighty Lion can’t get off of his back.