Latest Roleplays
December 12th, 2020
Miracle Enterprise Apartment
“Why the hell am I here?”
The warm sound of Rebecca Hines voice echoes throughout the dimly lit dining room of the Miracle Enterprise apartment. We open with Steve Harrison sitting at the head of the dining room table. To the left of him sits William Morris, to the right sits Jack Marley and at the bottom of the table is Rebecca Hines looking like she wants to stab someone. No longer caring about etiquette Miss Hines has both elbows on the table in front of her. Her face cupped between both hands as he looks on at Steve waiting for him to respond.
Steve ignores Rebecca because at the moment he is eying Jack Marley. Jack tries very hard not to look directly at Steve, but he feels the eyes and moves uncomfortably in his chair. William leans as far back as he can in his chair and as bodyguards often do, he looks around the room but at the same time he seems to be ignoring the coming drama.
“Are you listening to me?” Rebecca asks as she momentarily lifts her head up from her palms.
Still ignoring her, Steve begins talking, “why the hell are you here?” This is directed at Jack Marley. Rebecca grunts to herself.
Jacks eyes shift left to right, but he finally succumbs to Steve’s question and ongoing stare and looks at him, “Uh…here to help, mon.”
The Miracle Man rolls his eyes knowing full well that Jack Marley’s help is bound to make anything worse. “This is the Miracle Enterprise round table,” Harrisons sweeps his arm across his body to show the magnitude of his statement and a table that isn’t even round. “This is a place where we come to take care of issues, not…list our favorite weed strands.”
Jacks ears perk, “wait…are you saying there is a time for that? Because…”
“No, just NO!” Steve interrupts Mr. Marley to say angrily before Jack could finish his idiotic comment about weed strands.
“So, I…should?”
“Leave.”
“Does anyone want something to drink?”
Harrison stands up and points his finger towards the door to the living room. Jack stands up slowly and drops his head looking sad as he walks out of the room.
“Ok, now that he is gone, we can get started,” Steve says as he watches the door close behind Jack. He nods to the door and then hops back into his chair and looks from William to Rebecca.
“What…now you want to talk?”
“Miracle Enterprise is quite energetic,” William Morris says with a grin on his face. He is still leaned back withs arms crossed across his chest now seemingly without a care in the world.
Steve nods, “this is the action team for a reason. Rebecca, the folders please,” The Suplex Saint finishes as he finally looks over at Rebecca.
Rebecca shakes her head. She stands up and slams her hands on the table.
BANG
“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!” She yells at Steve.
Steve looks over at Morris and softly says, “heh…women, am I right?”
That is not the right move.
Rebecca softly chuckles to herself, “oh, real cute, Steve.”
Steve smiles and nods towards Rebecca completely ignoring her anger, “thanks, I started using some new beard cream.”
“No, you piece of shit, what the hell am I doing here?” comes back quickly to Steve.
“Whoa, Rebecca don’t forget who pays you,” Harrison responds surprised by Rebecca’s outburst as he is acting purposely confused at this point.
Rebecca laughs to herself and begins walking out the door, “oh yea, I remember.”
Steve jogs over and blocks the door knowing damn well he did not pay her anything but kept on with the joke because it was funny to him and that is all that matters, “hey, hey, I am just playing, Reby. No need to leave.”
Rebecca stops and puts her hands to her hips a frown on her face. She is obviously as sick as Steve as everyone in HOW are at this point. “Move and when did you give me some stupid nickname?”
Steve puts his hand on Rebecca’s back in an attempt to move her back to the Miracle table, but she reacts like being touched by him is like being touched by Weinstein, “oh come on, Rebecca, we are family here. What’s the problem, I thought you would like the nickname too, I mean it is thoughtful, right?”
She moves to get his hand off her back, “don’t touch me, Steve. The way you have been acting recently is more atrocious than ever.”
“What?” Steve says as if he doesn’t realize he is a piece of shit. He shakes his head and takes a step towards Rebecca who in turn takes another step backwards. “I just need us to work as a team right now, Reby. We can deal with whatever women problems you have later.”
OH SHIT, NOPE! NOPE!
Miss Hines bends down slowly without looking or saying a word. She stands back up with one of her heels in her hands and throws it like her side hustle is being a pitcher for a professional softball team. Steve’s eyes get large and he moves his body. The heel smacks against his right shoulder and clangs to the floor. The Miraculous Never Pinned Man bends down and picks up the heel. “Damn, you have a good arm. I hope you got it out of your system because I need the folder, so we get the lazy bodyguard there,” Harrison points to an unmoving William Morris who looks to be napping now. His right eye opens to show he is indeed not sleeping but he cannot be far from doing so, “a job and I have the perfect job.”
Rebecca tears the heel from Steve’s hand and puts it back on. “I am not your secretary and I have no idea what folder you are talking about, you asshole.”
Harrison nods, “yea, yea…I am an asshole. I need the folder, Rebecca. You know the one with the information on those trailer trash fans who ruined my suit.”
“Wait… you mean from two months ago?”
“YES, THOSE MOTHER FUCKERS ARE GONNA PAY…PAYYYYYYYYY!” Steve yells at the ceiling like a cartoon villain.
“That is so forgiving of you,” is sarcastically said back towards Steve, “so again, why would I know where the folder was put?”
“I am not sure how to put this,” Harrison looks around the room and watches as Rebecca straightens up the table runner on her end of the table. Steve points at her doing it.
Rebecca stops and looks up at Steve, “what?”
The Man of too Many Miracles sighs, “look, you are fixing up the stupid cloth or whatever it is called on the table. What I am trying to say is that you are detail oriented and have…a good…memory.”
“Uh huh, sure…detail oriented is exactly what you mean, Steve. How about I find the folder, take Jacks lighter, and burn it?”
Harrison throws his arms up in the arm in defeat. At this point he has no idea what he should say, “what is your problem today? I am used to a little sarcasm and push back from you, but this is going above and beyond.”
“Nah, it is not going too far until you get hit with Thy Kingdom Come,” Rebecca says with a sly smile on her face.
Most people in the wrestling world understand completely what that sly comment meant. We are in the presence of Steve Harrison though so you can rest assure he did not understand a damn thing. “Miracle Enterprise is not a monarchy, Rebecca, jeez.”
“Uh…what? Do you seriously not understand what I mean?”
SHRUG
“I mean…I suppose we can have Knights of the Miracle Enterprise table though.”
William opens both eyes and stares over at Steve, “she is saying she wants Lindsay Troy to hit you with her finisher.” Rebecca and Steve both look at William with surprised looks on their faces. Morris blinks a few times, “what? I do my research; I am not an expert at this for no reason.”
“Wait,” Steve says and then pauses as he looks back over at Rebecca, “are you saying you want me to lose to that Amazonian?”
Rebecca sits back down in her chair and crosses her legs. She nods at Harrison with a small smirk, “are you surprised?”
“Blah, what about Jatt Starr and Hughie Freeman are they to your liking as well?”
She shakes her head, “Eh no. if those two were a tag team it would be Rapey Fucks.”
Steve actually begins to laugh forgetting for a few seconds that she just openly said she was rooting for Lindsay Troy. “That is a good one…wait…are you being sexist?”
“You are about as woke as a bear hibernating, Steve.”
Harrison in what can only be called accidental humor pinches his cheek, “man, I wish this was a dream but, NOPE.”
William unexpectedly stands up and walks over to the bar and begins pouring himself a drink. He takes a small sip and nods his head in acceptance to whatever he had just poured himself. Steve and Rebecca stuck in their conversation pay him no mind.
“I am not sure if you are joking with me right now or you really don’t have any idea what I am saying.”
“Pssh, I am just waiting for you to say you were kidding about rooting for that red headed thot.”
“I am not sure you have ever had success with a woman,” The Mistress of ME says to Steve not a sarcastic tone in her body with that comment.
“Whoa, wait, wait…are you calling me a virgin?”
“No, but I never see you with a woman and the way you act the only woman who would put up with you would have to be paid to do so.”
He nods his head, “exactly, but I don’t pay them for their company I pay them to leave.”
“This is why you disgust me. You are nothing but a pig and the things you said about Lindsay were way over the line.”
Steve walks back to his chair and sits down. He looks down the table at Rebecca, “sometimes people just cannot handle the truth, Reby. Are you telling me that what I said about LT was wrong? Are you saying she isn’t a skank? Are you saying she hasn’t taken advantage of being associated with Dan Ryan to get ahead in her career? Are you saying she does not get more chances then the rapper? Please explain to me what I did that was so wrong?”
Miss Hines stands up and mutters to herself, “why did I expect this to go any differently?” She storms out of the room leaving Harrison sitting in his chair as confused as always when he deals with women.
“Hey, wait,” it was too late she was gone, “damn, now how am I supposed to find that folder?”
William causally picks up something up on the inside the bar and puts it in the air so Steve can see it, “this it?”
The Miracle Man looks over, “how long have you been waiting to say that?”
The folder is flipped open by Will. He ignores Steve’s comment and starts looking over the contents of the folder. He flips a few pages, his eyes moving from left to right as he reads quickly. He shuts the folder slowly and takes another sip of his drink. “What’s the plan?”
He sighs softly to himself and stands up. Steve has become increasingly annoyed at the oddness of William during this meeting today. He has not stated such yet because it does not seem like a good idea to talk down to a killer. “Those two sons of bitches egged my favorite suit. They are wrestling fan terrorists that were in love with the eGG Bandits.”
“Ok.”
“Uh, don’t you want me to explain who the dastardly eGG Bandits were?
“Let me guess…one was a fat guy?”
“Well,” Harrison pauses as he quizzically looks at Morris unsure how he is guessing correctly, “he is kind of fat, but the funnier part is that he may be a pedophile.”
“That is not funny.”
“I mean…it wasn’t confirmed but it was fun to make fun of him.”
“Pedophiles are the first to get got in jail, Steve.”
Steve rubs his face becoming tired of this conversation. “Just go get those guys and have them sign that contract in the folder as well. Afterwards come get me, we don’t want to talk or text about it.”
SLAM!
Steve looks up from rubbing his face, “what the fuck? Did he just leave without saying anything? This guy is confusing. One day he acts like a big brother and the next he is silent and seems to not care about anything. Now he just disappears, and I am left to bullshit around the apartment and think of what the hell I am going to do next. I wonder where Reby went.”
FADE
I just need to ask this right off the bat because I really need to question people’s intelligence. Who in their right mind thought it was smart to let Jatt Starr around children?
That is like putting a cake in front of Jatt Starr.
That is like putting a flannel shirt in front of Jatt Starr.
I think anyone listening should understand where I am going with this. Jatt Starr is a goddamn horrible role model and I have heard rumblings about him molesting kids. I am not sure where I first heard it, but it is all over the internet and the dirt sheets.
Don’t worry kids he will come visit you regardless of him winning the LSD title because he knows you want attention and perverts like him know how to take advantage of that. Let me make it clear that he will most definitely not be the LSD champion when he is telling you it is time to play doctor.
I will not pretend that I even care about what happens to the children you harass but I do care about winning the LSD title. Hopefully the next stop on your tour is to a personal trainer because I don’t need you dropping dead before I use your neck like silly putty. I know it will be up to me to make sure you are healthy because Lee Best does not give a shit if your heart rate is unstable before this match. He only cares about this match being a spectacle and if you happen to win that’s a bonus to his ego because he really does not care about you.
This is all about his ego in getting revenge on Lindsay Troy and you are the old blue chew user that was wasting away that he could use. Unfortunately, I don’t care about your well being so when you begin to have trouble breathing and pass out don’t look at me for understanding afterwards because I will be busy raising MY LSD title.
But who am I to say who should live or die?
The New World can even use someone as broken as you, Jatt. Of course, it comes down to you admitting you want to change and that might be difficult for someone as set in his ways as you are, fat fuck.
Heh.
Oh well, no loss to me or for me.
Let’s set our sights on the undeserving champ now.
Maybe I just don’t understand what I can say these days. I was not around American women for ten years and it seems that in that time they have forgotten how to laugh, I mean come on girls…smile.
Everyone wants equality…Ok sorry, everyone but those who have the power. This includes many women though because they could come from power or marry into it. Everyone wants to be lazy is the truth and that includes Lindsay Troy. I don’t think she realizes that she has earned the right to lie down and take a nap when she is tired. That way she would not have to put up with my supposed bullshit. Come on LT just look in the mirror and accept who you are.
You can finally take a break.
You can finally go on a vacation.
You can finally have a relationship with someone outside the wrestling industry.
You can finally go the fuck away and hand me MY LSD Title, shake my hand, and admit that I am not only the better wrestler but the better person.
Did I do it right this time? Rebecca won’t be angry, right?
I am being helpful here and I would like to stop being demonized because maybe I don’t say it with kindness. People need to hear the truth no matter how it is said, and I am not one for beating around the bush. Heh, I hear LT likes beating around…
Ah, I caught myself there.
Too easy, just like LT…
DAMMIT!
Someone please tell me that I at least put in the effort here.
No? Well please get me a gun so I can shoot myself. Did someone already steal that gimmick? Oh, I will scoff about that bastard later.
At least Lindsay Troy is still among the breathing but none of us will know for sure until 11:59 PM on Wednesday when she magically appears. Oh, thank you, mom, for finally showing up to work and showing us children, what true dedication looks like.
I am not in HOW to just stand around in awe of all the legends that walk in the hallways of The Best Arena. I am certain I have made that clear with who I have beaten and what I have said towards them. I will not shake your hand because of who you were, and I will not trip over myself to remind you of your past glory. All of that motivates me more to step my game up when someone new gets in my way.
You are the next on that list Lindsay. I have beaten High Flyer, Eric Dane, Doozer and Cancer Jiles that is a whose who of wrestling for the past twenty years. To add you and Jatt Starr to that list is not a joke to me.
No more jokes, no more cheap shots. It will just be me getting joy out of you screaming in pain when I fold you up. I hope you bought stock in that knee brace company because you will soon be wearing one on your neck as well.
As I mentioned earlier, I was going to double back and talk about our favorite gypsy piece of shit. I have no idea what I witnessed but that was one the most confusing, nonsensical, pieces of garbage I have ever had to listen to…and that is before he may have shot himself.
Shit, that would at least make the time I wasted mean something.
Hughie Freeman, what the fuck man?
What are you trying to prove here?
You are your own man and I would respect that if YOU being a man wasn’t so childish and insecure. It must suck being you and never taking responsibility for your own failures. All night you rant and rave to a TV or whatever dying animal you can find to listen to how you are a victim of whatever stupid conspiracy your tic-tac brain can think of. It would make sense that YOU believe the fans are cheering you on when they think they are victims too. But all I hear is a fucking horrible song followed by jail rape jokes coming from the audience.
They suck almost as much as you.
I think you should douse yourself in grease and rape every member of the crowd. I am not condoning rape, but you have, and you are…sorry…were a proud fighting champion. Yea, the guy who tried burning someone alive and tried to rape RICK is a real great guy.
What shit hell universe am I living in?
Oh, I know, the one that is gong to burn down soon because people like this are given a platform. Hughie, you are just one of a million morons who are polluting the world with lies and whiney bullshit. I love how I am defined as just happy to be here from you. If that is what you are getting from me then at this point, I am not sure being brain dead would be a downgrade for you.
This has never been personal for me. You have just decided to insult my intelligence by faking a death or taking the easy way out and it is pathetic. There are numbers you can dial to talk out your MANY problems but then again, I am sure your dad would just get on the line and talk about shitting in public places.
So, you either show up at ICONIC or we all no show your funeral. Either way is fine with me because I will either beat you relentlessly again or not have to hear you cry again.
It is a WIN-WIN.
…And if there is something, I have proven I am good at, it is winning.