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Sutler allowed his tongue to roll beneath his lower lip as he glared across the ring at Conor Fuse’s furious face. The World Champion tried to imagine why this incipit jerk hadn’t had the decency to dry up and vanish like last night’s pre-bed jerk. Yet he hadn’t fled after War Games. The little prick had the audacity to show up to his Tag Team Championship match.
What a fuckin jerk.
And now he was screaming at Sutler.
He felt the ring jerk, a sensation usually indicative of someone leaving the top rope.
Was there something happening?
“Yeah, yeah, whatever you little prick, I’m WOOOOOORLD CHAAAAAAMPION, CONOR LOSE!” The brash young Champion taunted Fuse while gesturing to the #97red World Championship around his waist. “Nyah, nyah, NYAH!”
He then heard something from behind him. Was it his name? Sounded like a fan asking for something, they were ALWAYS so demanding. But, you know, it is a Champions life! Sutler turned to see the former World Champion and the best average chum you could hope to measure yourself up against when feeling down, looking rather angry. Known murderer and definitely not the most terrifying play-dough set ever released, Dan Ryan, rolled up.
“Oh yeah..” Sutler whispered to himself. “I’m the ref..”
Throwing himself across the canvas he dropped into position!
One!
TWO!
Sadly before Sutler could slam his hand down for the third time, the World’s-Most-Dangerous-Potato-Salad-Sculpture managed to roll his shoulder up.
“Balderdash!” the Champion chided himself as he scrambled back up to his feet. Jiles and Ryan continued to do their thing while Sutler backed away, noticing a small scuff on the golden surface of his first World Championship. Boy that Sutler Reynolds-Kael sure was champion.
Slipping out of the ring Sutler snatched up a rag from the time table and polished the face of his title to a mirrored shine. He had first hand knowledge of what people did with that title and keeping it clean was a pretty big deal to him. Climbing back into the ring he noticed that the Man-Who-Would-Be-Mashed had apparently gotten out and now Conor Fuse was in the ring.
Joy.
Pointing down at the Championship, Sutler flashed a brilliant pearl toothed grin toward Dan Ryan.
“What-up, Murder Daddy, how many daughters are you gonna kill before you realize that’s now how you win Championships!? Woo!” Sutler laughed before pausing, his face becoming much more serious. “..I don’t know anything, it’s a joke my grandpa said, please don’t kill any daughters for my World Title.”
Dan didn’t seem interested in accepting Sutler’s apology though, roaring and yelling at him. Something behind him?
“What? A what? Behind me?”
Turning the HOW World Champion observes Harrison and Jiles tagging each other out. .
“Thanks, Dan!”
Fuse is thrown into a Dragon Sleeper, his unprotected neck and back of the head crashing down onto the ring mat while Harrison bridges into a pinning position. Sutler is Mr. Johnny-on-the-Spot as he dives for another pin attempt!
Sadly it was not to be. Even more surprising was that Conor was able to worm his way out of the predicament he was in and tag in Dan Ryan. The hulking monster launched himself across the ring and into Harrison, the sound of their collision cracking in the air. Shocked the World Champion stares at Ryan as he goes fo the cover with an impressed look.
“The ref should probably count that..” the Champion commented before realizing that was his job. This is what happens when you try to juggle too many jobs at once, oh well.
A flurry of action and suddenly Dan is locked into a single leg Boston Crab! Oh and it looks very painful, so far as Sulter can tell. He hears the screams echoing through the arena as he nervously paces back and forth like a Father waiting to hear about the condition of his daughter after Dan Ryan used her in a promo.
Suddenly Jiles is spitting up all over Conor Fuse! More screaming
INSANITY!
“Every stop! I think something’s wrong with Dan!” Sutler cuts through the bullshit, taking his job extremely seriously. ”REFEREE DUTIES!”
Dashing to Dan’s side Sutler checks his wrist..
It falls, limply, to the ground.
DING DING DING!
In a flash Sutler is out of the ring, snatching up the Tag Titles, of which is is also familiar what previous Champions had done with them. He quickly deposits them and everyone who’s ever had those titles to the Best Alliance before beating a hasty retreat.
He had to get to that sweet, sweet Purell.
Yet another mission accomplished, yet another promise made and kept for his Grandfather.
He was Sutler Reynolds-Kael, YOUNGEST World Champion in HOW History, World’s GREATEST Gamer and Universally Hailed Super-Referee.
God damn it was good to be a Gangsta.