It was early afternoon in Tokyo, Japan and traffic was as busy as ever. The streets were filled with native Japanese people mixed in with groups of tourists taking in the culture. The streets were littered with advertisements for HOW’s War Games event live from the Tokyo Dome. Lee Best’s face was forefront on the advertisements dressed head to toe in his military gear. Behind him were myself and the rest of Team Best Alliance decked out in our own gear. However nowhere on the advertisements did you see a single member of Team Local Grapplers 214.
Just the way it should be.
I found myself walking the streets of Tokyo wearing a pair of blue jeans along with a black Best Alliance t-shirt and a pair of black Nike Air Max sneakers. On my right was Madison who had dyed her hair from purple to blue. She was decked out in full cosplay mode dressed as Goddess Aqua from the anime Konosuba. She was getting looks and requests for pictures from other tourists that we passed on the street. On my left was Carmen Jennings who had weaseled her way here for free.
Carmen was dressed in a pair of ripped jeans, a black vest top along with a leather jacket and a pair of Vans on her feet. Her hands were tucked in her pockets as she soaked in all the scenery. She had been living her best life since we arrived in Japan and had consumed more sushi than any human being should. She had no idea where we were headed. She was just happy to be here.
“I freaking love Tokyo! Being here makes that disturbingly long boat ride here totally worth it!” Carmen exclaimed, breaking the silence.
“Complain about it all you want, you didn’t have to spend a dime on this trip and that boat as you put it is your ticket home.” I said with a dry tone.
“I just said being here makes it totally worth it.” Carmen grumbles. “I love the culture, the food, and I want to try out more of the nightlife.”
“I want to get laid!” Madison shouted at the top of her lungs.
“You’re in a foreign land, out here dressed up like an anime character and all you can think about is sex?” I asked while turning to look at Madison.
“We’re in the Otaku capital of the world, so that means I am among my people. Don’t I look cute dressed up as Aqua? It’s totally a bitchin’ ass cosplay.”
Madison said while twirling around to show herself off. She leans over and raises her hand up as if to tell me a secret.
“It’s also a totally authentic cosplay too because much like Aqua, I’m not wearing any panties under this skirt.” Madison whispered.
“You’re an utterly vile creature.” Carmen remarked.
“There is no point in doing it if you don’t go all in.” Madison sticks her tongue out at Carmen before turning back to me. “Though to answer your question about sex, it’s because I’ve never done an Asian before.”
“Well you’re in the perfect place to scratch that itch.” I said while extending my right arm out towards the crowd of people on the street.
“That’s all fine and dandy but I don’t speak the language. Just how do you say ‘show me your dick’ in Japanese?”
For Madison this was a deadly serious question. I took a moment to think as we walked along the street before answering.
“Kon’nichiwang.” I said with the straightest face I could manage.
“You don’t seriously think she’s going to fall for that, do you?” Carmen protested.
“It’s something I picked up the last time I was in Japan.” I said with a shrug of my shoulders.
Before Carmen could even comment, sure enough Madison walked up to the nearest Asian couple she could find.
“Kon’nichiwang?” Madison asks while pointing down at the Asian man’s crotch.
The Asian man just stared at Madison blankly until his wife grabbed him by the arm and pulled him away from the obviously crazy and horny woman dressed in cosplay.
“Beautiful.” I murmured as I wrapped my arms around my waist in laughter.
Undaunted, Madison strides her way over to another group of Asian men who were hanging out together near a local shop.
“Kon’nichiwang? Any of you, hell, all of you will do.” Madison says while pointing down at all of their crotches.
“Wow, she really is that stupid.” Carmen says while shaking her head.
The group of Asian men stare at Madison in confusion then down at their crotches that she is pointing at. Finally her point connects with the men who hang their heads in shame and scurry off down the street.
“This might be the best day of my life.” I said while still busting a gut laughing.
Still determined to accomplish her mission, Madison walks up to a grey haired elderly Asian man who needs assistance from a wooden cane just to stand.
“Kon’nichiwang? Please, Kon’nichiwang?!” Madison pleads pointing down at the elderly Asian man’s crotch.
The elderly Asian man ignores Madison completely and continues to hobble his way down the street with the use of his cane. Madison reaches out and stops the man gaining his attention.
“Here look, I’ll show you mine before you show me yours.” Madison says as she grabs a hold of her skirt and lifts it into the air flashing the elderly man her vagina.
I can feel the tears running my face from laughter as Carmen raises her hand into the air to cover her eyes. The elderly man looks down at Madison’s vagina and begins shouting something in Japanese that none of us understand. I finally stop laughing long enough to grab Madison by the arm and pull her down the street alongside Carmen.
“You’re going to get yourself arrested for doing stuff like that.” I growled at Madison.
“Do you think he turned me down because I don’t have a bush down there? In porn Asian women usually have plenty of pubes.” Madison ponders out loud.
“Just where are we going anyway?” Carmen interjects.
“You’ll find out any minute now.” I said confidently.
It was only a few more moments of walking in silence before we reached our destination. I stood proudly in front of the building as both Madison and Carmen looked puzzled.
“Ta-da!” I said while extending both of my arms.
The building we were standing in front of happened to be the Amita Sumo Dojo. A place that taught Sumo wrestling to anyone off the street that wanted to have the Sumo wrestling experience.
“Is this some kind of weird War Games training exercise?” Carmen asked as she folded her arms across her chest.
“Nope, this is all about you Carmen.” I said as I pushed the front door open and lead them both into the building.
Inside the dojo were about twenty different people both Asian and tourist, training in full Sumo belts. All of them chubby to full on obese men who thought wearing a glorified diaper and pushing each other around would be fun.
“This is grotesque.” Carmen grunted as she stared at the pimply asses of the men in training.
“Get used to it because this is your first assignment.” I said while nodding approvingly.
“This is what?!” Carmen asks, completely dumbfounded.
“You got a free trip to Japan and you’ve been here for almost two weeks now. I held up my end of the bargain, so now it’s time you held up yours.” I said as the class practiced squatting.
“You can’t possibly…” Carmen stuttered.
“I’m your boss now, so you bet your ass I am. Since you’re a ‘professional’ masseuse that offers no happy endings I figured why not have you give massages to everyone here after their training session.” I state with an evil smirk.
“You’re such a twat.” Carmen said snidely.
“They paid handsomely for this and there is a table set up in the back. Oh, and just FYI, you have to massage the instructor too and he weighs about 500 lbs.” I said in a Jovial tone.
“How am I possibly supposed to manage that?!” Carmen’s brain was fried.
“You could tap dance on his back.” Madison offered.
“Some way, somehow, I’ll get you back for this.” Carmen hissed at me.
“Have fun. We’ll pick you back up at the end of the day.” I said with a wave.
Carmen groaned at the sweaty, overweight, nearly naked men in front of her as Madison and I exited the building. I led Madison over towards the parked limousine that I scheduled to meet us outside of the dojo at a certain time. I opened the door and let Madison slip inside before joining her.
“Take us somewhere to get something to eat then straight to the Tokyo Dome.” I told the chauffeur as we began to pull off.
“I got something you can eat.” Madison said as she slouched in her seat and spread her legs.
Oh yeah, this definitely might be the best day of my life.
A couple of hours later Madison and I found ourselves inside of the world famous Tokyo Dome. The place where War Games 2021 would be held on June 6th. The place was practically empty but I felt that I needed to be here to put me in the right frame of mind. A mindset to do exactly what needed to be done come War Games to make sure Local Losers 11:59pm didn’t walk away with the victory.
I looked around the building and thought about all the legendary matches and events that have been held in this place over the years. Madison however was running around the building moving things around and/or pulling on them for no good reason whatsoever. She made her way over towards a potted plant in the corner and began pushing and pulling it in different directions.
“Just what in the hell are you doing?” I asked while scratching my head.
“I’m looking for the hidden lever or switch that reveals the secret elevator.” Madison replied.
“What the hell are you talking about?” I questioned bluntly.
“We’re in the Tokyo Dome, right?” Madison stupidly asked.
“So clearly it’s just like in the anime Baki the Grappler. There has to be a secret elevator that takes us six levels below the Tokyo Dome to the underground illegal fighting circuit that’s being held underneath.” Madison said 100% sure of herself.
I facepalmed and sighed into the palm of my hand at the sheer stupidity that Madison was spouting as she made her way over towards a vase that was seat atop a small stone pillar. Madison grabbed a hold of the vase and lifted it up then placed it back down with no success.
“Baki the Grappler is just an anime, Madison. This is the actual Tokyo Dome in real life and there is no secret elevator. There is also no underground illegal fighting circuit underneath the building.” I said trying to talk sense into Madison.
“I know that Baki is just an anime but we’re here in the Tokyo Dome for a reason.”
“Yeah so I can figure out how to win War Games for a second time.” I state matter of factly.
“Exactly! And it’s no small coincidence that you’re facing Local Grapplers 214 in War Games. Baki the Grappler, Local Grapplers 21whatever, you gotta see the connection there.”
“I’m starting to think I should have left you at the Sumo dojo instead of Carmen.” I said with another heavy sigh.
Madison made her way over towards a large painting on the wall. Madison inspects the painting closely before reaching up to grab a hold of it. She shifts the painting slightly over towards the left and a loud clicking sound can be heard. We both turned and looked as a section of the wall slid open to reveal a set of elevator doors.
“Jackpot!” Madison shouts as she lets go of the painting and heads over towards the elevator doors.
“Unbelievable.” I said as I shook my head.
Madison had already figured out how to get the elevator doors to open and stepped inside as I raised my head.
“You coming or what?” Madison called out to me from inside the elevator.
I walked over and stepped inside of the elevator beside Madison as the doors closed. Madison clicked the bottom floor button on the console and the elevator began to move.
“I hate to say I told you so, actually I don’t. I told you so!” Madison says while sticking out her tongue.
“Just because you were right about the elevator doesn’t mean you’re right about the underground illegal fighting circuit. For all we know this is just a service elevator for maintenance workers.” I said trying to use logic.
“So… ever been blown inside of an elevator?” Madison asks with a devilish grin.
“Actually yes I have been and no that is not an invitation for you to do it.” I muttered as the elevator came to a stop.
The doors of the elevator opened leading to a long hallway. Madison and I stepped outside of the elevator and made our way down the hallway until we reached a large man standing in front of a pair of large oak double doors.
“Hello and welcome to Tokyo’s underground illegal fighting circuit. You must be honored guests if you have found your way here.” The large man says.
“Yes! Madi for the win!” Madison states while doing a little victory dance.
“Son of a bitch!” I said dejected over being wrong this entire time.
“The matches have already begun. You can come inside and witness the rest of the tournament as long as you pay the entrance fee.” The large man interjected while extending his palm out towards us.
I reached into my pocket and pulled out my wallet. I pulled out about twenty thousand yen and handed it over to the large man. He counts over the money and once satisfied opens the large doors for us to enter. Inside there were a couple hundred people all seated around a pit in the center of the room. The pit was filled with dirt and was boarded off by wooden barricades.
Madison and I found two empty seats and sat down. Inside the pit were a Sumo Wrestler against what appeared to be a Boxer. It was an anything goes kind of fight that was only over until one opponent was unable to continue. So basically HOFC without the steel cage. We watched as the Boxer tried to use fancy footwork to dance around the much heavier Sumo Wrestler. The Boxer threw jabs and right hooks at the Sumo Wrestler who didn’t do much to defend himself. The Boxer unleashes a flurry of blows that has the Sumo Wrestler reeling. The Boxer goes in for the kill but that’s exactly what the Sumo Wrestler wanted.
Finally getting his hands on the Boxer, the Sumo Wrestler hits him with various slams and throws. Gripping a hold of the Boxer who was out on his feet, the Sumo Wrestler hits him with a bridging German suplex dumping directly on his head. Getting to his feet the Sumo Wrestler gets a running start and squashes the fallen Boxer with a senton splash. His full weight crushing the Boxer until finally a loud gong is heard signaling the end of the match. The crowd cheers wildly as Madison turns to look over at me.
“That was pretty exciting, that Boxer is as flat as roadkill!” Madison squealed in a cheerful tone.
“He took all those shots to bait the Boxer in so he could get his hands on him. After that it was pretty much academic.” I said analyzing what happened right before my eyes.
The crowd quieted down and settled back into their seats as the next match was about to begin. Out into the pit first was an older gentleman who was hailed as an expert Martial Artist. His opponent was a pale hooded figure who had a large entourage following behind him. He had a loud mouth and seemed to be preaching some nonsense to the crowd. He was hailed as a former MMA fighter as he disrobed.
“Get a load of the Xander Azula clone in the pit.” I said to Madison, chuckling to myself.
The gong sounded to signal the start of the match. The Martial Artist opened up with various kicks that the MMA fighter was skilled enough to avoid.
“Speaking of Xander Azula, I have no idea why he’s even in the War Games match. Lindsay Troy seriously picked this idiot to be the last guy on her team. A move so bad that Lee Best had to step in and add Darin Zion and Scottywood to the match.” I said, shaking my head.
The MMA fighter peppered the Martial Artist with punches and lower body kicks before charging in for a double leg takedown.
“These spooky religious types are a dime a dozen in the wrestling business. Xander goes around lurking backstage preaching about how he’s an agent of chaos but honestly what has he done? The only chaos he’s brought to HOW is the destruction of catering that he and his ‘followers’ unleash on a weekly basis. I guess it’s hard to hail discordia, hail Eris, or whatever the hell it is that he hails on an empty stomach.” I mutter with a scoff.
The takedown is successful and the MMA fighter looks to finish this off early as he begins raining down elbows to the Martial Artist. The Martial Artist tries to cover up but the MMA fighter is relentless. However with age comes wisdom, the Martial Artist grabs a handful of dirt and tosses it into the eyes of the MMA fighter.
“For someone that claims to be all about chaos this guy sure doesn’t know how to fight dirty. He’s going to be so far out of his depth come War Games that I’m pretty sure that Troy only picked him to be fodder. A human meat shield to throw at us so the real contenders like Teddy Palmer, Dan Ryan, and Arthur Pleasant don’t get eliminated. He’s going to walk into that cage like he’s some big bad motherfucker but the moment he gets hit in the head with a weapon he’s not going to know what to do.” I commented.
Blinded the MMA fighter is shoved from his mount position. Both men get to their feet and while trying to regain his vision the MMA fighter is hit with a shift kick to the ribs that brings him down to his knees. The Martial Artist winds up and unleashes a flurry of karate kicks to the chest of the MMA fighter.
“Xander hasn’t even had a normal HOW match yet. He’s only competed in HOFC matches with marginal success. He got eliminated from the DeNucci Cup by a knee from Mike Best. Then he only beat Steve Harrison because he shot himself in the foot with a bad word. That granted him another shot at Mike Best where he tried to tell Mike that he was ‘blessed’ like that shit matters. The only thing that Eris blessed him with was another knee to the dome from Mike.” I say, reflecting back on the match.
The Martial Artist finishes the flurry with a kick to the temple that floors the MMA fighter. The crowd watches on as MMA fighter staggers back up his feet looking absolutely winded as he puts his guard up. The MMA fighter swings wildly but the Martial Artist ducks and stabs the MMA fighter in the ribs with a blade that he had hidden as the crowd gasps.
“Dumb son of a bitch. Xander hasn’t been in the deep water yet. Sure, HOFC has no rules and all but in War Games there will be no round breaks to save Xander from being eliminated. He just doesn’t have what it takes against the best HOW has to offer. His limited move set is one thing but he ain’t just going to faithbreaker his way to the HOW World Championship belt. No matter how many names from the past he brings up to try and prove he is built for this isn’t gonna mean shit. His track record so far in HOW speaks for itself and if he crosses me? He’ll be praying to Eris that I have mercy on his pitiful soul.” I proclaim with confidence.
The MMA fighter pulls the blade from his now bleeding ribs and drops it to the ground. The MMA Fighter goes for another last ditch double leg takedown but the Martial Artist is ready. He catches the MMA fighter and locks him in a guillotine choke. The MMA Fighter tries to fight it but the Martial Artist tightens the grip and the gong sounds as the MMA Fighter loses consciousness.
“And just like that it’s over, much like Xander’s chances of winning War Games once I make him Bend the Knee.”
Arthur goddamn Pleasant.
A man that runs his mouth because he loves nothing more than the sound of his own voice. He likes to think he has a sharp tongue just because he uses words like bitchtits or fuckwagon.
Nice job Edgelord but it’s not the early 2000’s anymore.
Regardless of that the man has an impressive record in HOW, albeit the fact these wins against the likes of Bobby Dean and Darin Zion. Let’s also not forget the fact he targeted and tried to destroy the likes of Brian Hollywood. Why? Well, that’s because Brian Hollywood happens to be a former HOW World Champion. Very sly move indeed Arthur trying to make a name for yourself off of someone that has been to the top of the mountain here in the most important federation on the planet.
Only… it didn’t work out too well for you now did it?
No one buys you as a contender for the HOW World Championship belt. Hell, you’re barely a contender to be in this match at War Games at all. It seems to be a touchy subject with Arthur that no one is giving him the credit he thinks he deserves. He’ll rant forever and a day about the fact that people are ‘overlooking’ him just because of the quality of opponent he’s beaten.
No one is overlooking you Arthur, you just haven’t done anything impressive yet.
However you’re supposed to be this bad, bad man. A death match legend, a pain tolerance greater than anyone else on the roster. You even compared yourself to the fucking Terminator in your own bio. You preach it week in and week out how awesome you are. You’re like a two year old screaming to the world that you’re a big boy now because you upgraded from diapers to pull ups. A real badass wrestler doesn’t need to keep saying it like a broken record, they let their actions speak for themselves.
Don’t believe me?
Just look at me. I don’t preach all the time about how badass I am, I just went and beat the shit out of one of your teammates then I set his ass on fire.
Yet here you are with half your head shaven and an X carved into the side of your skull as representation of how hardcore you are. Yet in your matches? Nothing hardcore to be seen whatsoever. The most hardcore thing you’ve ever done is taken an already destroyed by Mike Best lump of shit like Brian Hollywood and added insult to injury. Like no one ever kicked Brian Hollywood ass before. Other than that what have you done outside of yelling at that big Russian motherfucker that follows you around. Oh wah he got taken out by a taser by Steve Harrison and he didn’t help you against Dan Ryan.
Oh what a badass you are Arthur, needing help from a man twice your size.
If you really are the dumbass of decay like you preach that you are then you wouldn’t need a seven foot tall bodyguard. Oh and FYI you don’t get to come up with all these ridiculous names for yourself. Your peers give you a name based on your accomplishments and so far in HOW your moniker should be Yawn. Boy did you ever talk that good shit against Dan Ryan. You thought you had the match won before you even stepped foot into the ring just because you were quicker than him. Then boom, you got hit with the Hammer of GoD and it turned your lights out. And just like that the so called undefeated monster of HOW wasn’t so invincible anymore.
Now you’re Dan Ryan’s biggest fanboy. Your ass got humbled pretty damn quickly.
In the end you got what you wanted, you’re in the War Games match. Yet we’re supposed to believe your decision to join the 214 side was merely a coin flip. Bullshit, you saw that the Best Alliance team was pretty much set, so you decided to go cling onto Lindsay Troy’s skirt. After all, you did go through the trouble of mentioning her in your bio. You wanted her fealty but now she’s the one ordering you around.
Naturally of course you choose to point out the fact that I lost Zion because let’s face it what else are you going to say? I’ve beaten Zion more times than even I care to remember but once in a while the sun even shines on that dog’s ass. What you’re Shane Reynolds lite looking ass needs to focus on the fact that Zion might make it longer than you do. Remember you wanted this Arthur. You already have a target on your back with Steve Harrison but we’re just going to test that pain tolerance of yours. I might just help Scottywood nail you up onto a wooden cross, shouldn’t be hard with your barely 200 lb frame.
Then set that motherfucker on fire.
You see Arthur you’re not winning War Games.
You’re not walking out with gold around your waist.
You might not even be walking, period.
I’m going to be a two time War games winner.
A four time HOW World Champion.
That’ll definitely be the best day of my life.