Thank You, Bruv’s

Thank You, Bruv’s

Posted on March 11, 2021 at 8:33 pm by John Sektor

After a weird few days of blurring the lines between reality and visual and auditory hallucinations, Sektor needed some time out to clear his head and reflect on everything he’d experienced. To this day, he doesn’t know for sure whether it was all one big drug trip or whether he and Jatt had really travelled through multiple universes to learn about all the possible lives they could be living and all the variables. 

That’s the power of drug’s kids. 

The past couple of days he’s been training like a motherfucker. Retaining the Tag Team titles was always important to Sektor. He never liked to lose, and he especially didn’t like losing championships. This is bigger than that. To him, representing the Tag Team division with Jatt is a huge honor and he can smell another Legacy being forged. It would be a crying shame if it all came to an abrupt stop at March to Glory. His little trip in the multiverse had left him with a feeling that the World would be unbearable if the Bruv’s beat them for the straps. 

“Okay guys, give me like a, ‘sup?’ kinda pose.”

The tag champions are inside the Epicentre of the Best Area, posing behind the camera in front of a green screen. Both men are dressed in their wrestling attire, holding the Tag titles over their shoulders with Jatt’s LSD, of course, around his waist. Sektor is shirtless and showing off his physique which is beginning to look much tripper. He isn’t the chiselled Adonis he once was but has a more meaty, muscled, look about him. 

They’re taking part in a photoshoot organised by Lonie Chow, a guy Sektor has hired to help Starrsek Industries with their brand and to make them more relevant and desirable to the public. This was yet another experience he took away from his trip into the other dimensions. 

“Jesus Christ, guys, you look like you’ve both been dug up! Loosen up a little,” Lonie instructs, planting a camp hand on the hip as a camera hangs limply in the other. 

Lonie is a short, Oriental, guy with thick black rimmed glasses and pristine skin. He’s a little on the podgy side but his style of clothing and hair flopped to one side screams of fashion and being on trend. 

Sektor and Jatt stand side by side, softening their shoulders as instructed and lifting their chins slightly as flashes from the camera light up their faces. 

“Explain to me again what we’re doing here?” Jatt, whispers, trying not to move his lips. 

“I told you, man. Lonie is gonna help get our brand over. Being Tag Champs is one thing. But we need to create a movement if we are to cement our team legacy,” Sektor explains, trying not to move his face. 

“Okay, Jatt, think we can lose the shirt?” Lonie asks, in a way that it was more of an instruction than a question. 

Jatt glances down at his red polo shirt which is covering up his man boobs. 

“Is that really necessary?” Jatt asks, sounding apprehensive. 

“Look, sweetheart, don’t get all body conscious on me now, okay? You roll around semi-naked with men for a living, oh-keh?

“So do you!” Jatt snarks, making reference to his sexuality. 

Lonie glares at him with a sassy look for a moment before clicking his fingers. 

“Lose the fucking shirt.” 

“Come on, man. Own your body,” Sektor whispers, trying to reassure him. 

With a sigh of contentment, Jatt reluctantly pulls off his shirt and tosses it out of shot. 

“Beautiful. Now, stand back to back and look at me with that same pose,” instructs Lonie. 

The duo turn away from each other and lean back to back, tilting their chins slightly in the air as they stare at the camera. 

“Oh yeah, that’s hot! Hold that pose!”

“I mean, we’ve been training for fucking months and you still look like that? You need to start putting the work in, hermano,” Sektor whispers.

Jatt clenches his jaw, trying to hold the pose but obviously feeling a nerve being pinched by his partner. 

“My cardio is like an olympian,” Jatt whispers back, adding a little grit to his tone. 

“Yeah but looks are important, man. We gotta have the whole package to sell to the fans.”

“Since when do you care about the fans?”

“I know, it’s weird. But, let’s just say I’m sick to death of the Bruvs having a longer line than us at the meet and greets,” Sektor explains, causing Jatt to raise an eyebrow. 

“When has that, ever, happened?” 

“I’m sorry, are you giving me ‘confused’ or something, Jatt?” Barks Lonie. “Put the fucking eyebrow down!”

Jatt sighs as he tries to regain his pose. After a few more flashes and various prompts from Lonie, Sektor steps out from the pose with an air of excitement. 

“Hey, why don’t we do that pose from Predator? You know the one where Arnie and Carl Weathers smack hands together and tense up and shits all popping and veiny?” he asks, like an excited schoolboy. 

Lonie, again, raises an eyebrow and gives him that same sassy look of disgust.

“I’m sorry, I thought you guys wanted to be current? How is referencing a cheesy action movie from the eighties current?” he snaps, grilling Sektor. 

“Hey that movie’s timeless,” chirps Jatt, jumping to the defence of Sektor’s idea. 

“Uhm, NO, it’s corny and old!”

Sektor places a hand on Jatt’s shoulder to rein him in.

“He’s right, Jatt.”

Jatt regards his partner with pure confusion as he struggles to understand what has gotten into him. 

“Look guys, you should think of some kind of cool hand gesture, you know? Something that will get your followers mimicking and trending,” Lonie suggests. 

Sektor smirks and holds up both of his middle fingers which merely prompts another sassy look from their branding agent. 

“I mean, nothing says ‘badass’ more than this, right?” Sektor laughs. 

“Yah, cause that’s never been done before, has it?” Lonie snarks, rolling his eyes and letting out a sigh of exhaustion. 

Sektor puts down his fingers and pokes his tongue into his cheek, as though literally biting it as he holds back his urge to snap back. 

“Hey what about this?” Jatt asks, enthusiastically making the telephone sign. 

The look on Chow’s face is like he’s just tasted dog shit. 

“What? You want me to call your wife  to come pick you up because you look like a sad middle aged man embarrassing himself?”

Jatt’s jaw literally gapes in a state of stunned shock before he makes an attempt to reply. 

“Uhm, I’m divorced..”

“Shocker!” 

“He’s so, mean,” gasps Jatt, gawking at his partner for answers. 

Sektor smiles calmly. “I believe it’s called, sass. Amiright, Lonie?” he asks smugly, giving Lonie a wink.

“You guys! I literally have the impossible task of trying to make the two of you cool and you’re making it very fucking difficult for me!”

Jatt, coming to his wits end, takes a lunge forward. Sektor, remaining calm, puts his arm out in front of Jatt to stop him in his tracks. 

Ohh-kay, twenty-second timeout, Brrrrrrr,” Sektor calls, making a buzzer sound. “Lonie would you give my partner and I a minute?”

Sektor asks, doing his best to force out a pleasant smile. Lonie rolls his eyes. 

“Yah, sure, whatever. I mean we have the press conference in like thirty minutes so I guess we’ll have to pick up this train-wreck of a photoshoot some other time.”

With a flick of the hand he minces off out of the epicentre, giving the door a hearty slam as he leaves. The Gold Standard closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose, preparing himself for the hard time his partner is about to give him. 

“What is all this, man? Where the hell did you find that guy?” Jatt asks, looking exasperated. 

“Look, I know he’s kind of a prick, but the guys got a huge following on Instagram. He knows all about this branding shit,” Sektor explains. 

“Oh yeah? Then why haven’t I ever heard of him?”

Sektor curls his lip. “Do you even know what Instagram is?” Sektor asks, with a sceptical expression. 

Jatt opens his mouth and begins making some sounds with his throat but his brain can’t think of an answer quick enough. 

“Shut up! Why do we need him?”

“Jatt, you and I are so stuck in the eighties and nineties. We’re so far out of touch with what’s current that we run the risk of embarrassing ourselves. He can help make us cool and raise our popularity, homie.”

“We’re already cool and popular. We can do this on our own, we don’t need him,” Jatt suggests, with vivid enthusiasm. 

Sektor merely rolls his eyes. “Oh Jatt, wake up! We’re fucking dinosaurs. Everyone’s laughing at us. It’s not enough that we’re tag team champions and no one cares about our past accomplishments. Fact is there are younger guys connecting with the fans now in a way that we can’t understand.”

“Why does it matter? You’re always the one that’s like ‘fuck the fans, who cares what those ungrateful pricks think.’” replies Jatt, doing his terrible impression of Sektor’s voice. 

“Yeah well maybe I’ve woke up, Jatt. Maybe I realise now that we’re heading into the twilight years of our careers and when the curtain finally falls all we have left is our fucking legacy. I don’t know how much time I got left. Do you?”

Jatt doesn’t answer, he merely scowls but it’s obvious he’s contemplating what his partner is saying to him. 

“When we beat the Bruvs, what’s next? It’s not enough just winning and being champions man, you know that. We gotta raise our brand. Dude, we could steal the spotlight off everyone in HOW. Mike, Dan, Linds, we could make the Tag Title division bigger than the World title and send them through the fucking stratosphere,” he explains passionately. 

Jatt begins scraping his right foot on the right floor in the circles like a sulking child who knows that what they’re hearing is true. 

“I suppose that does sound pretty cool,” Jatt replies, somewhat reluctantly. 

“Right? Mi hermano, the bar with these titles has always been set pretty low, so elevating them won’t be hard. But I want people buying tickets to see us! I want the Tag Titles to be the be all and fucking end all with the two of us as the poster boys for the entire fucking company. I’ve had a lot of tag team partners over the years, Jatt. But you?”

Jatt looks up at Sektor, intrigued as to what he is going to say next. 

“Bro, you know I struggle with this shit. But you’re the best fucking partner I’ve ever had and I want to make history with you.”

A smile fires across Jatt’s face and before Sektor can react he finds himself trapped in a huge bear hug from his partner. Sektor curls his lip and leans his head away, never one to be comfortable with physical affection from another man. 

“Alright, alright, get off,” Sektor groans, shrugging his way out of the hold.

Jatt let’s go and the expression of joy on his face is clear for all to see.

“Alright man, you sold me. I’m in. Let’s’ go to infinity and..”

“That, right there, that corny shit? Gotta stop with that shit,” Sektor snaps, pointing an accusing finger. 

Jatt sheepishly loses his smile as his shoulders sag. 

“How much are we paying this guy anyway?” Jatt asks, referencing Lonie. 

“Oh he’s not charging a rate. He just gets twenty percent in royalties from any profit we make outside of the ring,” Sektor explains, as though it’s a perfectly fair deal.

“Twenty percent?” Jatt gasps, his mouth hanging open.

“It’s not about the money, bro…”

 

A Statement from the Champs..

 

The conference room in the Best Arena is packed time with various wrestling journalist, dirt sheet writes and hardcore fans who simply like to take opportunities like this to garner content for their youtube channels and blogs. A typical conference desk has been set up in front of them with three microphones as a low murmur of conversation echoes around the room. A door behind the desk soon opens and first to step out is Starrsek Industries newest branding agent, Lonie Chow, followed by The Gold Standard and the Jatti-Knight himself, all of whom are warmly greeted by a respectful round of applause. They’re both wearing brand new, black and gold, Starrsek industries logo tee’s, with a little of the #970000 red to fly the BA colors. Sektor waves a half hearted hand in the air whilst Jatt is practically squirming as he feels completely out of his comfort zone. 

The three have barely taken to their seats when the hands start shooting in the air accompanied by duelling voices, all  vying to be the first one to ask a question. The sassy Chinese branding agent quickly leans into his microphone. 

“Uhm, sorry guys, we won’t be taking any questions,” he informs the crowd, who respond with confused murmurs. “ Your Tag Team champions are here to talk about their upcoming title defence and to say a few words about their opponents.”

“Look man, I’ll handle this ok, just let me take care of it,” Sektor whispers into the ear of Jatt. 

Jatt raises his eyebrows as if to say ‘I hope you know what you’re doing’ before nervously going to work on picking at the plastic wrapping around his bottle of water. Some people consider that a sign of sexual frustration. 

“Uhm, thank you all for coming out here today,” Sektor begins, somewhat nervously. “I guess I want to start by thanking the Hollywood Bruv’s.”

The crowd begins to murmur with confusion as Sektor says this and even Jatt shoots him a look of ‘what the fuck?’ out of the corner of his eyes. 

“You know they’ve already talked about how the last time they were here in HOW, they elevated the Tag Team division and made it hot. And you know what? It’s true, they did. Without them?” he begins to suggest, glancing at his partner to his right. “We probably wouldn’t be sitting here as Tag Team champions right now.”

“What…are you..doing?” Jatt asks, talking without moving his mouth again. 

Sektor ignores his partner with an air of professionalism as he aims to expand on his point. 

“The Tag Team divisions has never really had legs in High Octane Wrestling. We’ve had some legendary teams over the years, when you think about Ascended Supremacy? The AOA. Ground Zero. The Legion of Darkness. The Hollywood Boyz, who we had to beat to earn these titles,” he explains, gesturing at the titles which have been showcased in front of each of them on the desk. “And of course the Best Alliance. Thing is, the Best Alliance is such a powerhouse of a group, no matter who the members are, that inevitably once the title’s get in its grasp? They dominate and they run out of opponents and inevitably the titles have to be retired. I mean that exact thing happened when Mark O’Neal and I were Tag champions..”

“Oh here we go. Had to mention Mark didn’t you?” Jatt Sasses, with a genuine bite  jealousy to his tone. 

“Can we, not, do this right now?” Sektor quietly asks his partner.

“However, we’re not going to let that happen. Mikey and Kendrix are a great Tag Team. They’ve been together for years now and have made a great name for themselves in the wrestling industry as a team. They’re a brand, and everywhere they have gone they have made noise and been successful and you gotta respect that, you know?”

Some of the crowd members are nodding in agreement but most are staring at Sektor blankly, most likely not believing their ears that such words of praise are coming from his mouth. 

“I know this probably sounds weird, coming from me of all people. But you have to give credit where credit is due. While we do think that the Bruvs are a couple of morons, they are still highly rated opponents for us to validate our championship reign. We beat Hollywood and Zion for the titles. Sure, Teddy Palmer and Zeb gave us a good match but they never really stood a chance. You can’t just throw a duo together overnight and expect instant chemistry. No, they gave us a great tune up match for this fucking blockbuster that’s going to take place at March to Glory!”

Sektor takes a moment to let that last point land before he prepares to segway. 

“Now, I’ve heard the Bruv’s passing some comments in regards to our credibility as a quote-unquote ‘team?’ They think that we’re just two singles wrestlers that Lee has thrown together to snatch hold of the Tag Titles. And that’s fine. That’s their perspective and I completely understand it. But what does that tell me? Simply that they have a complete and utter lack of insight and knowledge of our history. And I know, I know, you guys don’t give a shit about everything we’ve accomplished and the past don’t mean shit. But that’s not what I’m talking about.”

Sektor turns to look at Jatt and gestures towards him before looking back at the crowd. 

“I’ve known this man for almost twenty years. Twenty, fucking, years. When I arrived at the back end of 2002, he?” he continues, pointing straight at Jatt. “HE, was the man to fucking beat. Problem was, I was nowhere near his level. So I became obsessed with reaching it. I call myself the Gold Standard. But this man right here?” he says, again pointing at Jatt. “He’s the standard that I had to reach.”

“For a span of almost a decade we went to war with one another. If it wasn’t for the World title it was for the Icon title. And if it wasn’t for the Icon title it was nothing more than personal fucking hatred and resentment towards one another. We became obsessed with one-upping each other. We got inside one another’s heads and craved to learn how the other thought, prepared, ate, trained, you name it. It eventually gets to a point where you end up knowing your worst enemy better than you know your own Goddamn wife!”

Jatt nods appreciatively, showing a mutual understanding at the point Sektor is making. 

“So you see, we’re not just two singles stars thrown together trying to play at being a team. Shit, Lee didn’t even want us to be a tag team. He couldn’t give a shit about the tag titles, never has. This was our idea, and we’re going to make him care. See, when the war ended between Jatt and I all that was left was a mutual respect and an unspoken bond. I know it sounds cheesy but I really don’t have the words to explain the chemistry the two of us have in that ring. Mikey says we can’t beat them with history, but that’s where they are wrong. As singles wrestlers we’ve both dominated every division there has ever been. Put the two of us together and you got yourselves a winning cocktail. If you guys don’t think we’re legit as far as being on the same page goes?” Sektor glances at Jatt and cracks a smirk. “Heh, well you Bruv’s are in for a rude awakening.”

There’s an air of confidence about Sektor as smirks out at the crowd, listening to the drone of voices as they all try to fire their questions at them. 

“Guys, no questions!” barks the voice of Lonie Chow. 

“Now look, they’re right about one thing. In terms of mastering the artistry of tag team wrestling? They’re on another level compared to us. We’ve watched their tapes and they are completely in sync with one another. When you watch them compete it’s like they’re on a telepathic wavelength or some shit, it’s impressive. THEY, are impressive. Like Mikey said, they’re a well oiled machine.”

Sektor adjusts his position in his seat so that he can take a good hard look straight into one of the cameras being pointed at him.

“But, motherfucker? At March to Glory you’re going to be standing across the ring from the fucking WRESTLING machine, that is John Sektor. And this man right here?” he says, yet again pointing at Jatt. “This man right here is in the form of his life. No matter what era he’s competed in he has been a winner. You guys will be our hardest test to date and we’ve not had many. Shit, you may be the hardest opponent’s we ever face, I don’t know, I don’t have a crystal ball or a time machine.”

Jatt glances at Sektor, uneasily, out of the corner of his eye with a knowing look. 

“We are under no illusions how hard this match is going to be. But we will win. And I’ll tell you why,” he continues, keeping a steely gaze on the camera. “I don’t know if I got another World title run in me. I hope I do. But I don’t know. All I know is that right now Jatt and I have the Tag Team titles. And I’m going to protect and defend that title with every ounce of breath I have. See I have this vision of Jatt and I taking these Tag Titles to heights they’ve been before. I see us overshadowing the World champion because we are driven to be the greatest Tag Team champions of all time. And you guys threaten to take that away from us!”

As he continues to stare into the camera there’s a glint of emotion in his eyes. 

“You asked, what do we have left once we lose the Tag Team titles? How does our Legacy end by being beat by the Bruvs? I’m not gonna lie, Mi amigo’s, that thought genuinely terrifies me. See, Jatt still has the LSD title. But this Tag team championship is literally all I have left in this world. I don’t have any family any more. Other than Jatt I have no friends. And I don’t expect you guys to feel sorry for me because I’m sure you’re both pissing your pants right now. But just know, that Jatt and the Tag titles are the only good thing I have left in my life…”

Sektor’s eyes are narrowing slightly as he runs his fingers over the famous moustache and clenches his teeth. 

“And I’ll be damned you two fucking idiots are going to take them away from us! When you have something you care about you hold onto it for dear life and you will likely have to kill me and prize this championship out of my cold dead hands if you want it.”

“THERE HE IS!” Jatt yells excitedly as Sektor begins to show his true colors. 

“You think we’re old? Shit, we’re only in our early forties, that’s considered a prime age for professional wrestler you dumb mother-fuckers. You two have barely gotten your dicks wet in this industry yet and you’re out here dissing two guys that were writing their legacies while you were still jacking off to your teacher under your desk. You think you guys are cool and young and that’ll be enough to extinguish forty-plus years of combined experience? You’re fucking deluded. We aint the ones underestimating anyone here. I’ve just told you guys how highly we both rate you and how hard you’re going to be to beat. I know you’ve had a lot of success but you just disrespected the two most dangerous competitors in the history of this company. OUR, company!” he exclaims, gesturing back and forth between himself and Jatt.

“Preach, my brother,” Jatt chimes in, in the whitest way possible. 

“You remember when we threw your asses in the trash? That was symbolic. We were letting you know that you both were the fucking standard of this tag division. But HOW got an upgrade in your absence so it’s out with the old and in with the new and finishing the job at March to Glory will prove that. Now listen close, boys.”

He shuffles in his seat so that he can lean on the desk, making sure that if they’re watching he can fully engage them with his eyes. 

“You don’t need to worry about what happens to the two of us after March to Glory. Win or lose we’re Hall of Famers. But when the two of you lose to us? How will the Bruv’s be remembered? For going to ‘strippee’s?’ For drinking ‘Frappe’s?’ For overusing the word ‘Bruv?’”

“Because that is literally all they do,” Jatt chimes in. 

“Now I’m gonna finish by giving the two of you the biggest compliment a guy like me could ever give to two young bucks like yourselves.”

He pauses for a moment, his pride kicking in as he struggles to say anything nice about anybody.

“I have never wanted to win a match more in my life!”

There’s a few gasps in the crowd and even Jatt turns his head as he says this. 

“Trust me it’s true. I’ve achieved everything I ever wanted to achieve as a singles wrestler. Right now, I have an opportunity to create another Legacy before the time comes when I’m forced to hang up my boots for good. My drive and ambition, right now, is all about making that Starrsek Industries logo shine brighter than any tag team in history ever has. You guys, I’m sure, have a bright future ahead of you and you will conquer many tag divisions in many companies. But not our fucking company, amigos. Not High Octane Wrestling. When people look at the title history you’ll be nothing more than a little box that people will likely miss as they scroll down. But we’ll smash records. WE, will be the reason everyone wants to turn on the HOTV network and sell out shows.”

“But don’t worry. When we write our books and film our documentaries? We’ll make sure that people know that beating the Hollywood Bruvs was where our legacy began. So I want you guys to bring everything you have and I know you will. Because I don’t want any fucking excuses when that final bell tolls. Give us the match we need to send this rocket to the moon. And once again, from the bottom of my cold dead heart..”

With a smirk, he places the palm of his hand slightly to the left of the centre of his chest.

“Thank you!”