You can die of a broken heart. At least, that’s what the medical people call it, broken heart syndrome. I call it failure to thrive, a lack of self-preservation. I call it a weakness for allowing someone to control your emotions in such a way. That’s why they say people who are in love die shortly after the other does. Johnny Cash and June come to mind…
it’s a romantic notion, but a false one. All it means is that you’re too weak to actually be there for yourself, that you have made someone else so much of a priority that you don’t even care if you matter or not. Pathetic.
Some coaches seem to say pain is weakness leaving the body. So, one would argue that those people not weak enough to survive and die of a broken heart are dying from their own power or lack thereof.
Sure, people love to look at romantic notions and the implications of what great love did to them. It didn’t do anything good. Like the idiots who think Romeo and Juliet is a love story, it’s not; it’s a tragedy. The whole thing has nothing to do with love; it has to do with prepubescent teenagers and their bitchy families who decided to argue a lot.
Every couple of years there’s some weird iteration of this type of tragedy, but I think the tragedy is: loving at all. Honestly, in the list of importance, love for another should not be a main priority, but here we are! It’s sad more than half of the world believes in this ridiculous notion that there is one person out there that is meant for them.
I realize that soulmates and stuff don’t exist, the one person out there meant for me is me. Sure, I’ll go through the motions. I’ll act devoted and caring, but all I care about is me. Sure, I like people to an extent and I even care to a certain extent; but not to where I’m going to put them ahead of me. At the end of the day, all I have is me, and that’s all that matters. False promises, empty hopes, none of that is important.
That’s why the road to wrestling is often a lonely one, sure, you can find companionship along the way but at the end of the day all you have is yourself. Recently, Connor Fuse even learned that. It’s the harsh reality of this life, but this is the life we chose. People that aren’t in the business don’t quite understand it. That’s why relationships fail, why homes are broken because the other partner doesn’t get it.
On the other hand, if you date within the business that’s even worse! Because if you get a push and your partner doesn’t then you have to listen to them bitch and moan about it. You have to protect their feelings while they say how they deserved what you got. As if you deserve it less than them… you have to try not to acknowledge them being envious or filled with jealousy that you’re getting everything they wanted. When the truth of the matter is, they just weren’t good enough to get it. And God forbid you tell them that! How dare anyone humble the egos in wrestling? True, we wouldn’t be here if we didn’t have these egos but some of these egos are just beyond ridiculous.
People could say such a thing about my ego to a certain extent, that may be accurate, but when you’ve been doing this more than half your life? This is your life, this is your love. And if I’m lucky enough I will die doing what I love.
Backstage 97 red Nettie comes behind the curtain, her face bloodied. Her eyes look wide as she walks past stagehands to see an awaiting Terrence Davidson.
Nettie: That was glorious!
Nettie has an excited tone to her. She notices a worried Terrence there as she stumbles into him.
Nettie: My Silver Fox. That was… almost orgasmic.
Nettie laughs, licking her lips.
Terrence: My darling… you lost the match. Shane Reynolds was victorious. Perhaps you’re concussed.
Nettie wraps her arms around him as blood continues coming from her face still. Her hair was matted down by dried blood. She smelled like copper mixed with sweat.
Nettie: I could have won a few times. It wasn’t about the title. It was about mind games, my sweet man. Cause he won, or did I let him win?
Terrence: Sounds terribly complicated.
Terrence says trying not to convey how concerned he is about the state she is in.
Nettie: If it was about winning I would have just got out of the ring all those times. Fuck that was amazing. The crowd was so loud, so wow!!
Nettie sounds pumped after an exhausting match. The adrenaline hasn’t run out yet. She’s on a natural high.
Terrence: Let us go back to our hotel and let you rest, my dove.
Nettie shakes her head looking at the monitors backstage as she seems to be jostling from one foot to the next like she’s still ready to go.
Nettie: I want to watch STRONK! Humble our son!
The worry doesn’t leave Terrence’s face as he slowly nods in agreement. Nettie hasn’t noticed the medics behind her wanting to look her over.
Terrence: Yes, can I suggest we go back to your locker room and relax while watching his failure?
Nettie smiles nodding as she walks down the hallway seeming still hyper. Terrence motions for the medical staff to follow her behind him. Nettie swings open the door to her locker room turning her tv to watch the rest of 97RED. She sits down on a bench taking off her wrist tape as she seems to calm down, the adrenaline has worn off and she collapses in her locker room. The medics rush to her aide as Terrence looks horrified at Nettie on the ground.
The royal Melbourne hospital
Opening her eyes she sees a sterile wall. It isn’t the arena, this is a medical center. She sees an IV bag dripping as she looks around feeling an oxygen cannula in her nose she looks around seeing Terrence there smiling. She squints with discomfort.
Terrence: My dove, you collapsed backstage. You were walking around fine then it’s like you just dropped. How are you feeling? Do you need anything?
He looks over her worried about her as his hand touched her face. She smacks his hand away from her.
Bobbinette: Get back… you… wait did the match happen?
Terrence looks confused at her as he nods his head yes.
Bobbinette: That bitch! We had an agreement. We were going to do this together.
She says her voice is panicking. The monitors start blinking behind her as her blood pressure quickly rises and her heart rate jumps within seconds. Her fist balls as she ignores the machine beeping. She holds the side of her head as medical people rush past Terrence being alerted by the alarms of the machines.
Doctor: Miss Carey… we need you to calm down.
Bobbinette: I am calm!
Bobbinette barks at the doctors who come in with a whole team. The doctor puts a mask over her face causing her eyes to close as they use gas to sedate her.
Terrence: When she woke up and didn’t seem like herself. She asked about the match, seemingly forgotten it ever occurred and then this happened… she…
The monitors and alarms go off around them as the doctor watches her heart rate. Her heart rate is in the 200s, not lowering even as she is unconscious.
Doctor: She’s tachycardic.
The doctor said hitting a button.
“Code blue.” Echos through the halls of the hospital. Terrence steps back watching a crash cart be rushed in. An AUD is placed on her. The machine says the instructions as her heart rate is 225 beats per minute.
Everyone backed up as the pads shocked her. Her body lifts off the hospital bed as her heart rate seems to have been jolted down to 100 beats per minute. The doctors and nurses work like a well-oiled machine. They take her blood pressure to 200/150.
Doctor: Give her longer sedation through the IV.
The doctor instructs the nurses as he turns to Terrence.
Doctor: She was here for a concussion, not her heart… How did you say she got those bruises and cuts?
Terrence: She is a wrestler for the High Octane Wrestling company. She… is she going to be okay?
Doctor: It just seemed like something raised her blood pressure and heart rate. We’ve sedated her, so she’s going to be out for a while. Family only, so I’m going to ask you to leave.
Terrence looks shocked by his statement.
Terrence: I am… that’s my wife!
He says quickly. The doctor looks over at him and then at her paperwork.
Doctor: This says she is single. We didn’t see a ring. I’m sorry.
The doctor says skeptically. Terrence looks with offense at the doctor.
Terrence: My wife doesn’t wear a ring when she wrestles, you want her to lose a finger? I will be by her side till we are discharged.
The doctor starts to stumble over his words.
Doctor: The EKG read doesn’t show any abnormality. It could have been a fluke, she will most likely be here overnight but with no other issues she should be able to be discharged by tomorrow afternoon. You both can head back to the States after that…I’m sorry for the confusion Mr. Carey.
Terrence narrowed his eyebrows at being called Mr Carey. He looks over at the peaceful look on her face. Standing there, he reflects on how she recoiled from his touch. He didn’t recognize the look she gave him.
Nettie is back in her warehouse factory, turned into a makeshift wrestling gym. She’s in the ring running the ropes, doing drop downs as she hears her phone ring. She looked over and saw “Silver Fox” and continued back to her workout making sure to keep time three steps from the ropes to the other end of the ring. Her face is no longer swollen though a black eye and a scar remains on her forehead. The door to the warehouse opened as Terrence walked in through it. She doesn’t pick up her eyes as she does drop downs.
Terrence: My love….
Nettie nods her head.
She says plainly.
Terrence: You are supposed to be resting.
Nettie: I’m fine. The show is coming up.
Terrence: Sweetheart… There is a time and place for everything.
Nettie shakes her head.
Nettie: We aren’t talking about it.
Terrence’s face sours.
Terrence: Of course not. You’ve got Jatt…
Nettie raises an eyebrow.
Nettie: This match actually would be hilarious if he and I were a team. We could be called The Fuckers.
She jokes. Terrence looks less than pleased.
Nettie: Because he’s a motherfucker!
She explains then smirks. She stands up and walks over to the ring’s edge near the door. She ducks between the middle and bottom ropes and jumps off the apron.
Nettie: and I…
Nettie walks over to him and gives him a kiss quickly before walking to get her water bottle off of the steps of the ring. She takes a long drink, giving him an index finger to pause her thought while she drank.
Nettie: I have you. In another life, he and I would be friends…
Nettie shrugs. Terrence offers her a hand towel for her face. She grabs it as he holds it looking at her.
Terrence: He’s been friends with my son and with that young man you were friends with. He seems like the type of person you wouldn’t want to bring into your circle of trust.
He finally lets go of the towel as he makes sure to finish his thought.
Nettie: Every village needs their idiot, it’s why HOW will always appreciate Jatt Starr.
Nettie wipes her face and then looks over at the mirror with a pout.
Nettie: This should have been for the title, but I wanted to torture Shane instead of win… lesson learned… but Jatt, he’s got a title cause he’s got, Dan Ryan.
She squints looking at Terrence.
Nettie: How is that idiot able to keep people around!? Like Dan is a force. He’s called The Hammer for a reason. Then Jatt…
She takes a deep breath squinting.
Nettie: He’s fucking annoying. And people find that charming?! It’s irritating, it’s sophomoric! It’s dated.
She looks irritated as she walks over to a weight bench.
Terrence: You two have been going back and forth. Is this because Conor didn’t believe you about him?
Nettie wrinkles her nose feeling called out. She grabs a kettlebell and lifts it to do squats with it.
Nettie: I wasn’t even lying though!! Like I told him the truth and he still believed Jatt! It’s not fair. I mean, I do have to give him credit. He hooks people.
She takes breaths in between each rep.
Nettie: Normally, when milk spoils people throw it away. He made it into buttercream buttermilk. Bitter and still pass his exploration, but still useful. I don’t get it.
She throws the kettlebell at the wall causing some of the brick to break off as the kettlebell hitting the ground after the wall.
Nettie: He’s a joke with power. And he has the audacity to say that I copied him because of our relationship. I started seeing you before he hooked up with Conor’s mom!
Terrence: Does it really make a difference what they think? When do you care about what lesser beings think of compared to a Goddess?
Terrence walked to her, putting his arms around her waist from behind.
Nettie: You are right… I shouldn’t care, but I’m going to expose him!
Terrence sighs as Nettie turns her head kissing him on the cheek.
Nettie: I’m done with this! Not letting him get away with this anymore.
Terrence: Or…beat him and show him why you’re the Queen that you are.
Nettie turns around to face him as she wraps her arms around him pulling him closer.
Nettie: Why not both?
Terrence: Yes… why not, indeed.
Terrence keeps his eyes on Nettie, inspecting her every move and word she speaks. Clearly, not over what happened back in Australia.
Nettie: I told you I’m okay. The doctors let me go. You heard them! I’m not on borrowed time.
Nettie’s hands touch his chest tenderly as she kisses him. She pats his chest before leaving his arms and picking up the tossed kettlebell.
Terrence: It’s not borrowed time that I’m worried about.
Terrence mumbles out loud.
Terrence: …There is something going on with you. I can’t put my finger on it but there is something not right. Don’t get me wrong, I love you for who you are and your eccentricities. However… back in Australia, you didn’t seem like… you.
Nettie sighs not turning back around to look at him.
Nettie: I had a concussion. Honestly, you’re worrying over nothing. It was just the head trauma. Now I’m going to go freshen up. You can either join me or we can keep talking about what happened after the match.
Nettie heads up the steps towards the loft of the building looking back over her shoulder.
Nettie: I’d join me, it’s more fun…
She teased as she motioned for Terrence to follow changing the subject. He grunted under his breath and then smiled up at the HOW Hall of Famer.
Terrence: I would never turn down an invitation from you, my streaming, hot, silky, beauty.
There was a fake cheerfulness in his voice as he made his way up the stairs. He knew what she was doing but at this point, there was no point in arguing with her. He would just have to continue to watch her without raising her suspicion.
Here we go again, right? The way past his PRIME jokester. See, there’s a reason why the Simpsons are going on 30 some years of airing. People still watch South Park, yet, It hasn’t been funny in decades. They still watch it because it’s a comfort to turn into something old and familiar.
You’ve always been that hoodie in the back of the closet, worn and faded, but the first thing you grab as soon as you feel a breeze.
But you knew this already, Jatt.
You’re safe and easily manipulated. I watched you crumble when Lee cast you out. When he didn’t want to have you by his side, you were a shell of yourself and a broken man. You took on a different name, your “true self”, to try to deal with the trauma of no longer being accepted. That’s why you’re the cling-on to Dan. You’re a full-body hemorrhoid that will hold on and not let go, you’re kind of like herpes. You’re Dan Ryan’s terminal case of herpes, you won’t leave him alone. Even when there’s not a flare-up, you’re still there. He got saddled to you as a tag partner. He got stuck with you because Lee finally accepted your apology and let you back in the fold and Dan Ryan has been suffering ever since because of that.
You’re a follower, a needy cling-on girlfriend that thinks of himself as a trophy wife and always has been. I watched your patheticness continue while Lee had you in the dog pound. You have always been a follower though, that’s why Lee has always welcomed you back with open arms because you’re a good little Jatthole who falls in line as soon as Lee says so.
That’s the thing about you, you’ve always been more than happy to follow the leader. And that’s led you to titles. You know you have no right to be excited about the fact that somebody else is the whole reason you hold those titles. I’ve beaten you plenty of times since my return, I won’t bring up the nameless people who no longer matter and are clearly irrelevant, but you cling to them. Because you cling to having the need to be valued by others.
I have tied myself to some of the worst tag partners in the present-day HOW, not Scott Stevens or Darin Zion because I’m not that pathetic but pretty close with some of the partners I’ve had in the past. The point is I’m not needy or desperate, you are both. Without Lee Best, you don’t know who you are. We all saw that. The only thing I can say is that I am sorry for Dan Ryan to have to be stuck with you.
He deserves a better partner, and once he sees that you’re back on the outside again, desperately clinging to your jokes to make you relevant. It’s fitting that you call yourself Starr. A giant ball of gas wasting energy. Some stars fade away quietly as they die. Not you though, at the end of the day, you are a Starr that died a long time ago and we are seeing the leftover shadows of what remains.