STRONK? Come the fuck on… I don’t want anything to do with the Bobbinette Carey love… nonagon? I can’t even keep track of shit these days. I know though, I make it easy for the booker man when I keep involving myself with Conor and Carey. Don’t tell either of them this, but they don’t completely suck to hang out with. But make this fucking clear Stronk… I have no fucking interest in you. I don’t care that your ranked number one overall in HOW and by some fucking odd chance I am ranked number five. Seriously? How fucking bad is everyone else here in HOW these days? Why am I not being offered a new contract and Scott Stevens who is ranked fucking seventeenth is Lee’s lap dog puppy? Granted, I don’t wanna be Lee’s bitch, not anymore. Been there, done that. But I’m ranked higher than Tyler Best and Great Scott?
Whose the BEST Scott than in HOW? There has only ever been… and always will be, just one answer to that question.
Scottywood! The Hardcore Fucking Artist!
So I suggest one thing to you STRONK… fucking capitals… thought we were over that shit in HOW. Sorry, one thing, cause I know you can barely handle that in that Neanderthal brain of yours. Stay the fuck in your lane in this match. It’s gotta happen, but I don’t have to really hurt you. I know Carey has a crush on you for some reason… maybe cause you’re too dumb to be an asshole like every man before in her life… myself included.
But I’m on a war footing with Scott Stevens. I am going to murder that piss poor excuse for even a loser at Alcatraz and show him what being lonesome is really like in dark abyss of death. So if pushed STRONK… I will not pull any punches. I can not afford to be soft. I can not allow myself to show any weakness as I go into my final match for HOW. Stevens thinks he can even things up. Thinks he knows what he needs to do to beat me. But he has barely even scratched the surface of what I am willing to do in a fight.
So while Carey has asked me not to kill you STRONK… but step the fuck out of your lane… and trust me, you won’t be able to walk right after our match. Just like if you spent a night with Carey. I for sure don’t wanna imagine the pent up sexual frustration she would take out on you. Once you go half black sex-less Carey… what has it been? A decade? Well once you go there my friend, you’ll only have half a working body left. She’ll break even your boulder-like frame.
I’m sure you think… or whatever goes on in that head of yours… that you are going to beat me in some kind of caveman-like male dominance challenge. That you are gonna win the woman by showing how much stronger you are. Dude, I’m not fighting you on this, you win in the strength department. Do you know how little I go to the fucking gym? Maybe once for every ten bars I go to? I honestly don’t know how I look like a fat Bobby Dean. Good metabolism I chalk it up to. Is Bobby still fat by the way? I heard The Bandits are all back here but haven’t cared enough to check in.
But Carey is not a prize to be won STRONK. I know, I know, Jace might convince you otherwise… but promise me, you don’t wanna take advice on women from him. I know you’re dumb… but you can’t be THAT dumb. So like I said, stay in your lane here… show her you can play nice with her number one ranked best friend… and maybe you’ll score some more brownie points. Fuck with me though… and I will make sure I make a fucking example of you to all of HOW. I don’t care how good everyone thinks you are… I will maim that pretty beach boy body and leave scars that make no one ever forget what I did to you.
Butcher and the Brewer
Sitting at the bar we see Scottywood and Frankie enjoying a drink. The Hardcore Artist is drinking a Ze Festbier – German Festbier by Butcher and the Brewers, since it is Oktoberfest season… and he seems to have been on a German kick the last year. Not sure why, but maybe someday we’ll find out. Frankie meanwhile is drinking a house-made Blood Orange Hard Seltzer. The two cheers their glasses and take a drink.
“Cheers to Carey letting me use her credit card again” Chuckles Scotty as he places his now half empty glass back down on the bar.
“You know she is doing that only so you don’t kill STRONK this week, right?” Sorta asks Frankie, even though he knows Scotty already knows this.
“Yes… and she said don’t kill him. Maiming, crippling, severing fingers or toes… those things are still all still on the table. He’ll still be breathing after I’m done with him.” Asserts Scotty with a smirk on his face, seeing this as some kind of loophole he has found.
“I’m not exactly sure that’s what she had in mind…” Hesitantly responds Frankie… again knowing that Scotty pretty much knows this already. But just doesn’t care.
“Well she isn’t going into a match at Alcatraz where one of us might not come out of it alive. Me and Stevens are not gonna stop until one of our hearts do. So I can’t worry about not hurting some dude that Carey may or may not fuck. I mean come on Carey… how long does it take to get a guy to fuck ya? If she had fucked him already, then I coulda have killed him this week.” Smirks Scotty as he downs the rest of his beer.
“A, do you really think you could kill STRONK if you wanted to… and B, if it wasn’t for Carey’s potential feelings, we’d have to pay for our own drinks.” Smiles Frankie back as he raises his hard seltzer and takes a drink, nearly falling off the bar stool before putting his still more than half full glass back on the bar.
“I’d say we should cut you off now, but this is gonna be entertaining to watch. Plus I don’t need Carey’s card. It’s just amusing for me that I can get her to pay it for me.” Chuckles Scotty he flags down the bartender.
“I’ll have the Basic Witch, imperial pumpkin stout…” Orders Scotty as he chuckles at the name of the beer.
“A Basic Witch… now you think I’d make a Carey joke here… but come on STRONK, let’s be honest, you’re the basic witch in this relationship. You’re the rope in a tug of war between Jace and Carey. There is no STRONK… only what those around them want STRONK to be. Molding you like the clay puppet you have always been. You’re fucking basic… and the sooner that everyone in HOW realizes it… the sooner we can all move on to the next flash in the pan that will burn out quicker than… well Carey busting a nut when she finally gets some. Oh she’s gonna LOVE that comment when she hears it.” Laughs Scotty as the bartender brings him over his imperial pumpkin Stout and he just smiles as he drinks up the deliciousness that is the beer.
“I don’t think this is helping convince STRONK to stay in his lane come Chaos. Aren’t you poking the bear a bit?” Asks Frankie as he takes another drink of his seltzer and you can already tell he’s pretty drunk.
“Well I don’t think anything I say one way or another is going to get through to his thick headed skull. But at least I can tell Carey that I offered him a way out. That I offered him an olive branch… and the big old lunk broke it in half. STRONK SMASH! That’s all Carey is thinking about. While all I’m thinking about is DIE STEVENS DIE!” Almost yells Scotty as the bartender raises an eye…
“So I guess we better have a few more rounds on Carey’s card before she shuts it off Monday morning on her way to visit STRONK at the… do they even have hospitals here in Ohio?”
“Yes… they surprisingly do… and you need to get more than halfway through your first drink before we even talk about a second round.. As entertaining as this is, I’m not carrying your ass back to the hotel You sleep where you pass out my son.” Warns Scotty as he finishes the first half of his imperial pumpkin stout.
“Speaking of sons… where is Ben?” Asks Frankie as Scotty stops mid drink and places his glass on the bar.
“He has been sent back to developmentive to work on his wrestling skills. He’s not ready for the world of HOW and he’ll get eaten alive if I just throw him to these wolves.” Explains Scotty as he takes another long drink from his glass.
“Ok, woulda been cool if we could have had three generations of Woodsons here drinking… but maybe by this time next year….” Goes to say Frankie as he remembers that Scotty’s contract with HOW isn’t getting renewed.
“Hey… maybe I’ll get a new contract by then… or maybe I’ll be somewhere else. Lots of doors that have been forbidden in the past have been opening up. Never know what the fuck is gonna happen these days.” Smirks Scotty as he finishes his beer and places the empty down on the bartop.
“Let’s go with the Gourdy Pumpkin Ale next” Orders Scotty as Frankie takes a small sip of his seltzer.
“You gonna drink through their whole tap list tonight?” Ask Frankie before immediately knowing what the answer is going to be.
“Of course I am… why wouldn’t I try all the beers this so-called city has to offer. Plus when one is in Ohio… there is nothing else to really do BUT drink. She’s gonna LOVE that comment too. I’d ask you to edit that out Frankie, but we got the HOW camera guy here tonight and he’s lazy as shit.” Jabs Scotty as the bartender places Scotty’s next beer down in front of him.
“Plus you just insulted him…” Adds Frankie as he shakes his head.
“Whatever… I’m done at Alcatraz. Might as well go out with everyone hating me. So do whatever you want at Chaos STRONK. I’ve warned you. It’s all in your meaty ass hands now.” Finishes Scotty as he raises his glass to the camera, cheersing STRONK as he downs a large portion of the beer before the camera cuts out.