Sold!

“Wow, I keep stomping on it and rubbing my boots but no damage to this amazing Welcome Mat.”

Yes, this Mat can last upwards to 20 years without ever changing.  You could leave for ten years and come back, and it will still look the same and work like the same Mat you remembered.

“My work boots were very dirty, but the Mat cleaned them so quickly.”

Exactly…this Mat only uses the bare minimum effort to get things done.

“My only complaint is that it doesn’t look that good.”

Sorry, that cannot be helped…have you seen who it is modeled after?  A crusty piece of shit left in the sun for weeks has more life then the models dried up beef jerky looking face.

This is not a joke.  I am honest to goodness going to make money off High Flyer being a washed up clown of a wrestler.  He is just a sad clown now with old jokes and ancient antics that make my eyes roll so far back I can see my brain bleeding from the cringe.  Jack Marley is currently setting up the kiosk at The Best Arena since I will be preoccupied.

I would like to thank you for your concern for my business, Mr. Harmen.  As history has shown us, people believe what they want to believe.  If I make a comment someone thinks is admitting guilt, but another person will see nothing but fake news.  The world is STUPID, and you fit in extremely well with that world with your hard assault rifle style insults about my name.

We all play a part in this burning globe and if I have something someone wants and let’s be honest wrestling fans WANT all the merch— then I will SELL it.

A conman.

A charlatan.

I have been called these by not only you but several other upstanding wrestlers who think they somehow hold moral ground over me.  This is wrestling, Jack, I don’t see any saints just people who might be a little less violent then others.

High Flyer uses condom lubricant as hair gel, in case, if time permits he can stick his head up Lee Bests ass.  What is it with you, man?  You are talking about Lee being upset with me after he sent his murder dog to take you apart at ICONIC?  Is this Stockholm Syndrome?  High Flyer: HOWs very own Patty Hearst coming to defend Lee Bests honor.

Derp.

Derp.

That snow you enjoy must be of the yellow variety.

I don’t need lessons on winning titles from someone who hasn’t held a meaningful one since George W Bush was in office.  I am guessing you 9/11’d that wrestling company with your ineptitude.  But hey…YOU WON A BELT!

I have openly spoken about my luck with those shiny belts being horrible.  I do feel allergic to them, Jack.  I am not giving up though and just because you and some other old school has-beens think I don’t respect the business it doesn’t mean I am not far and away better than you lot now.

Now, let’s take a minute to realize that High Flyer says that I don’t love wrestling but he does.  What would happen if say…I decided to give wrestling a first date because lord knows it stopped caring about you ages ago.

I guess I would now be one of the many morons that think they are Jay-Z in a wrestling promo talking about how wrestling dumped them and moved on to the trap wrestlers.  Fuckoutofhere!

I am The Miracle Man.

I don’t need an imaginary love affair with my profession.

It is fucking pathetic.

That is not a personality trait.  It is just a lousy trope played to get anyone to care about you and your sad plight in life.

I care.

I care about you, Jack.  I am telling you the hard truths and if you want to open a Kiosk at the Mall I will front you the money because we all know wrestling doesn’t have a 401K and we also know you being a guy who fucks wrestling doesn’t complain about it.

Have fun trying to live off selling memorabilia of yourself, Token Weed, Eli Flair, Lindsay Troy, and The Flying Frenchie— to name a few.

I am certain you can squeeze a few thousand out of your butt baby Conor Fuse but after that— I hope your blood is clean because that will be the only thing worth selling you have left.