Soft in the Middle

Soft in the Middle

Posted on October 26, 2023 at 11:08 am by Steve Solex

You’re such a fuckin’ nerd, I don’t even know where to begin. But I’ll take a shot anyway.

First of all, you’re about to talk me out of retirement already, and I haven’t event bought my fuckin’ beach chair yet.

You’re so unbelievably bad that I’m afraid to retire. Why? Because I know that once I leave, the others will follow. And then what? Then the whole world will be left with you and your gang of malnutritioned, soy-boy, chronically offended, always-complain-but-never-do-a fuckin’-thing-about-it, soft as fuck, bitches on HOW television.

Or not…Lee Best would probably burn this motherfucker to the ground before he let that happen.

C’mon dude, we’re one in and I’m already half asleep from your tired bullshit.

Will someone please give this guy a replica belt and a fuckin’ cookie so he’lll finally shut the fuck up already?

Jesus Christ, if I have to listen to you talk about how you “beat” Christopher America one more fucking time, I’ll do the job for you and blow my goddamn brains out.

You took the guy to the limit, great…do I really have to do the fuckin’ Fast and Furious speech right now? Inch or a mile … you fuckin’ NERD.

If you didn’t want to bore anyone, you did an awful fucking job. My eyelids haven’t been under that much pressure since I parachuted into Iraq in the middle of the night with NOGS on.

NOGS are night vision goggles, you fuckin’ civilian. 

Side note: You definitely voted for Joe Biden, you pussy.

“Why do all of these guys wish for the good old days?”

You wanna know why all of us “old-timers” pine for the good ol’ days of HOW? Its because dickheads like you have literally burned this place to the fucking ground with your boring bullshit and weak mindedness. And when I say this place, I’m not only talking about HOW, I’m talking about professional wrestling as a whole.

This business used to be for men.

It used to be for badasses.

For real tough guys.

For fucking warriors!

We danced on the edge of madness and faced the chaos of this business head on.

We didn’t need trigger warnings and safe spaces.

We used to fight for our beliefs and values. We didn’t send secret messages to each other and bitch about shit behind people’s backs. We got right in their fuckin’ faces and told them exactly how we felt.

And when we disagreed? We punched each other in the goddamn face and then went for a couple of beers at the end of the night.

We broke the rules, we shattered glass ceilings and we didn’t give two fucks about the consequences.

And then you and your gang of gender-neutral snowflakes got here and fuckin’ ruined it.

HOW used to be a place that you could say and do whatever the fuck you want without having to consider other people’s feelings…and then you fruit cakes showed up and shit all over that idea with your secret message boards, Twitter and your woke agenda…you fuckin’ ruined it!

The glory days are fuckin’ over and its because of guys like you and the people you surround yourself with.

Maybe, just fucking MAYBE, if any of you dickless fucks did anything of note, we might all shut the fuck up about the glory days and move on with our lives once and for all.

But you won’t, so here we are.

So you beat me once, in HOFC…good fucking job. You ran that cock sucker of yours about how I need to let the past go, and the first thing you do is go digging back to Chicago in 2021. You’re a fucking moron.

I don’t even remember Chicago. I was on quaaludes, dork.

Someone get this guy a fucking ribbon. You beat me once and made nothing of it. That’s classic California, COMMIE-NERD, bullshit. You fuckin’ soy-boy, you ruined wrestling and you ruined California too. California used to be the spot, until you bitches got involved. With your avocado toast and vegan protein shakes; it’s all over now. It’s home to, literally, the worst kind of people on the planet.

I didn’t flee California…I fuckin’ ran away.

An avocado is the perfect metaphor for your dumbass, too. Rough lookin’ on the outside, soft as fuck on the inside.

Go wave your Palestine flag somewhere else. Tattoo a hammer and sickle on your face to match the other bullshit ink you’ve got.