Posted by Cancer Jiles
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Posted by Dan Ryan
Posted by Dan Ryan
Posted by Cancer Jiles
There is some scrambling at the beginning, as it’s clear someone is holding a hand-held camera and attempting to turn it on, even though they haven’t realized they’re already streaming. More fidgeting sounds are made before the webcam is placed in its stand, beside what looks to be a computer. The medium-sized room is well lit and brown “wooden” designed panels make up the walls. There’s a large bookshelf off to the right hand side, filled with what looks to be movies and video games from numerous throwback systems such as Atari, NES and SEGA. To the left side, there is a Funko Pop collection but it’s too difficult to make out many of the characters other than Jason Voorhees, Jack Skellington and a Buzz Lightyear.
As the webcam finally focuses on the center of the room, sitting in front of the computer is a man with messy dirty blonde hair and a black t-shirt with neon green writing, reading “PRESS START”.
“Hello!” The man speaks into the webcam with lots of energy. “If you don’t know me yet, WAKE UP because my name is Conor Fuse and this is my first High Octane Wrestling webcast straight from my basement rec room! I call it RE-FUSED: The First Level!”
Conor giggles slightly at the reference he’s made towards HOW’s prominent show. It’s clear he’s on a wheely chair because he is freely moving a little to the left and then to the right as he continues rambling on.
“And I am here for all you Gamers and Gamettes because what does HOW need? Clearly, more of its already BEST player of all-time… me!”
Conor waves freely into the camera and then blows the viewers a kiss.
“And today’s first episode is going to be very special. It’s my tell-all episode you’ve been waiting for!”
Conor waves to the camera again, in an act that may get old very quickly. He looks behind him and then swings his chair off to the side, revealing the same hulking man who accompanied Conor in his recent vignette/introduction to the HOW roster. The man is around 6’6” and 300 pounds of solid muscle with veins shooting out from all over his body. He wears beige and white polka-dot pants, held up by polka-dot suspenders and an off-gray mask with two red dots for eyes and a d-pad for a mouth, looking very much like something out of an NES controller.
“And that’s my uh, friend, The Game Boy. Say hi Game Boy.”
The Game Boy just sits there. He doesn’t move or acknowledge anything.
Conor takes another moment and shrugs at the silence, as if he was actually expecting something out of the big man before spinning his chair back to the center of the room and allowing The Game Boy to vanish from sight.
“I am about to watch the Refueled announcement regarding next week’s show! I’ve been told I have a match but I have deliberately held off on finding out who it is until this very moment so I can share it with all of you instead! Isn’t that awesome? I think it is!”
Conor flicks his eyebrows up and down and grins from ear to ear. “I can’t wait to see what BOT I get to defeat in Level One!”
Conor clicks a link and arrives at a HOW press announcement uploaded by some fan on YouTube. Delighted, he presses the ‘play’ button but the excitement comes to a crashing halt as he realizes he needs to sit through various advertisements. Conor sighs and lowers his head as the first ad plays…
AD 1 OF 3: “Get back out there with the all-new Ford Explorer! The Explorer has been driving you around for a long time, so how do you build on an already successful platform-” CLICK.
Conor lowers his head as he sees two more ads to click past but can’t until 5-seconds in.
AD 2 OF 3: “We know how devastating pain can be. If pain has been caused to you by a loved one, please call 416-” CLICK.
Conor’s face grows tired. His eyelids begin to close and his mouth shuts completely. He’s barely able to click past the second ad let alone the last one.
AD 3 OF 3: “Right now, you’re tapping, swiping and sending money more than ever before! And we can help! If you sign up for our-” CLICK.
The enjoyment and anticipation is almost out of Conor’s body completely as he lays a side of his face down across the desk. Only his forehead and eyes can be seen before the real HOW announcement begins. As the past episode is recapped, “The Vintage” slowly raises his head and gets his energy back.
“And now, what’s on tap for next week…”
Conor goes right back to the same demeanor he displayed at the start of the webcast. He turns to the camera and gives a ridiculously over-the-top thumbs up and a jaw-dropping smile as the card rolls through.
“Chris Kostoff vs. Simon Loveless…”
Conor rolls his eyes and looks back to the webcam. “Nonsense talent. That Kostoff guy is nothing. You could take him, right Game Boy?” Conor looks back, ensuring he moves slightly to the right so TGB can be shown on the live feed. However, it’s the same response as last time, which is nothing. Conor spins around and into the camera as his eyes go wide. “He’s ecstatic.”
“High Flyer vs. Steve Harrison…”
Conor speaks over the rest of the announcement again. “I know that High Flyer guy. He used to wrestle my brother back in the day. What a goomba. I’m a way better high flyer than him.”
Conor giggles at his own comment and then brings his attention back to the card.
“Conor Fuse vs.-” Click. Conor pauses the video. He gets right into the camera this time.
“What we’ve all been waiting for, huh? I know you have! First, however, I want to show you something! Game Boy, get my cheat codes!”
Conor takes the webcam out of its stand and turns it around to face The Game Boy. The hulking individual makes his way to a filing cabinet. He opens it up, revealing nothing but folders and folders of paperwork with tags at the top for appropriate organization. Some of the names can be seen on the feed, some of them are too fuzzy to make out but…
And so forth.
Conor spins the camera back to himself. “Yep, they’re all here. Every single one.”
He reaches into the filing cabinet and pulls out a folder. It reads “MURRAY, A.” Conor playfully opens it and flips through numerous pages of documentation inside. What may be called a “cheat code” for him seems more like an actual scouting report on every HOW talent.
“Damn right ba-bay. I got all of you down to a tee! I’ve read your manuals! I know all your moves!” Conor tries to keep talking but he laughs maniacally in-between. “Nothing can stop me because I read the High Octane walkthroughs and this is gonna be eas-ay!”
Conor shuts the folder quickly, realizing some of the material could have been on display from the webcame’s POV. Even if only a sentence or two would be leaked, it was more than enough for Conor to grow apprehensive and put the folder back in alphabetical order ASAP.
“Murray, A. Gotta remember that one for some day. There’s a lot of henchmen here but he seems like a Level Five Boss, at best.”
Conor closes the cabinet and tussles The Game Boy’s head like he’s a little puppy. “Good work, GB. You can go back to your chair now.” The Game Boy mindlessly wanders back and sits down. Conor returns to his table, puts the webcam in its stand and rubs his hands together.
“Okay. Let’s see who loses a life to ME next week!”
He restarts the video.
“… Erin Gordon, in a match for two HOW newcomers!” Click, Conor pauses the video again. Immediately, his face shows confusion. He doesn’t want to look into the webcam.
“Erin… Gordon? Who’s that?” He turns to The Game Boy and his voice changes octaves to a lower and more serious tone. “Who’s Erin Gordon? Do we have any cheat codes on her?”
The Game Boy rises from his chair and mindlessly opens the filing cabinet for a second time. Even though the hulking man is still expressionless, Conor can tell there’s no GORDON, E in there.
“No? … … No!?” Conor slams his hands against the table before a surprised look crosses his face, realizing he’s still live on his webcast and tries to cover up all the frustration with a smile. “I- I-” He begins laughing uncomfortably. “This- this is not what any of you had planned, I know.”
Conor runs a nervous hand through his hair. “I need a bio, I need a bio!”
Taking his time, a light finally goes off in his head. Conor looks directly into the computer. “The internet! I’ll google her!”
He appears to pull up her Wikipedia page and starts scanning it at an extremely fast-pace. It becomes clear even though Conor has a lot of awkwardness to him, his ability to pick out important information and seemingly retain a great deal of it, shows his intelligence might be at a higher level than many others, no matter how odd he comes across.
Conor mutters important words out like “SCW”, “undefeated” and “murdered”. He finishes reading the Wikipedia page in no time and then turns back to The Game Boy. He whispers something that can’t be picked up on the webcam and then spins into the camera. Conor takes a deep gulp and creates a nervous sense of confidence.
“Like I said, eas-y. Give me one week, I’ll get the cheat codes on her, too. She’s just another name for the henchman bin.” Conor points to the filing cabinet. “See you next week. Gameonbringextralives.”
He hurries the last part of his sentence and then clicks the webcam off without any further discussion.