Latest Roleplays
I can’t win a singles match for the life of me. Only when I’m in that ring with MJ, do I have any shot at success. I’ve beaten her, once. Then, we won the no 1 contendership together…
Beyond that, my HOW career has just seen me looking up at the lights.
Whatever. I’ve lost a step. At least I’m still walkin’.
I still enjoy the fight.
**SFX ONLY : MULTIPLE BURSTS OF STATIC.**
I told the HOW camera crews to take the next couple weeks off. Figure I could just record these audio diaries and have them add some photos or stock footage in post. Maybe some black holes. Maybe a Scott Stevens promo. Maybe a black hole of a Scott Stevens promo. Who knows. Those boys makin’ six figures are smart enough to figure it out.
Maybe just waves of Red ‘97 ocean flowing toward the bottom of the screen, with my words superimposed like I’m Jack Handy.
I like that.
Play some really light hearted elevator music… yeah, that’s the stuff. Maybe add a babbling brook sound. Good. Good stuff.
DEEP THOUGHTS, with Jack Harmen
Why aren’t tag team’s called high five teams?
DEEP THOUGHTS, with Jack Harmen
If I can get disqualified in a no count outs match, why can’t I get counted out in a no disqualification match?
DEEP THOUGHTS, with Jack Harmen
It’ll be my recurring segment. That will only recur once.
It’s weird, as you grow older, you seem to take on the perspective of those who were older around you. They would almost shape your thoughts and opinions. Like, I finally understand Tony Davis. His devil may care attitude. His disinterest. He knew he already had his career, his legacy. Anything else was just sprinkles on top of the icing of a cake.
The scariest thing is I used the words “Understand” and “Tony” in the same sentence without the word “not.”
That being said, I have no intention of turning my trunks into a working cooler just so I can carry around ice cream bars.
Y’know, just in case I’m hungry.
I’m not that far gone. Not at the point where I’ll be stumbling out to the ring with my nose buried in some hand held device. I honestly don’t know why he played them for as long as he did. Or if he even did play them. I swear, I looked over once and the thing was off and he was just mashing buttons.
Mariella Jade is a much better, hungrier tag team partner than Tony ever was.
Do I need to be Tony to make this work?
Should I stop caring? Balance out the desire a bit?
Maybe I can start to play some stupid game on my cell phone. Like…
The most ambitious mobile game of 2019, RAID, SHADOW LEGENDS. With over blah blah blah.
Where’s my money?
Awesome 3d graphics. Uhm, storylines. It’s RAID.
Money now please.
I’d like to apologize to my fanbase, my most recent videos had commercials for RAID Shadow Legends, but they never paid me so I would like to promote some other mobile game.
Farmville. That’s a thing, right?
Listen, I don’t know what I’m doing, I don’t ever know what I’m doing. I’m just a blathering moron who’s living off the success of the past. I’m just a nice guy, no matter how crazy I am, and people just kept giving me things. First it was contracts, then it was title shots, then it was titles. I don’t know how I came across them. They just kept falling into my lap. One, after the other, after the other.
Maybe I should stop chasing so much.
Maybe I need to take a step back.
I definitely need to take a step back.
Okay, now that I’m out of traffic, let me revisit my recent HOW past. HOW, my HOW career could be the joke that it’s become.
Hmmm… That tracks. Silly games. Paying people for CGI. Blood feud with a mad man. Lose that. Lose that. Lose again. Oh, there’s Troy and Ryan betraying me, shoulda done the betraying myself at War Games. Stock was high then. And then a bit of an upswing with the tag title contender win, AAAAND, back to looking at the arena lights.
Hmmm… What’s the pattern?
Is it me not caring enough or me caring too much?
Take this place as a joke, wind up on the losing side of War Games. Take this place seriously, get four losses and a betrayal. Is there a healthy middle ground?
**SFX ONLY : MULTIPLE BURSTS OF STATIC.**
So it’s April 12th, Easter Sunday. I sent a bunch of chocolate over to the exes’ house. For better or worse, no one’s asked me to dress in a giant bunny outfit.
I think it’s a good Sunday.
Ah, great, the board’s callin’ again. I told him I don’t care who I face, when I face ‘em, where it is. Book yourself a ppv main event from 2009 on your weekly show. Sure, whatever. My name’s got some worth still. Might as well bleed it dry.
I really need a secretary.
I dunno where the Lethal Lottery’s gonna throw me. Could be in a title match. Could be in War Games qualifiers. Good thing about not having expectations… you’re never disappointed. And for a guy like me, you’re usually the one doing the surprising. It’s nice to have that on the other shoe for once.
Whatever will be, will be.
Que Sera, sera