I knew I had just come within moments of beating Conor Fuse last week.
And I was THIS fucking close!
When is enough, enough, though?
Hollywood says as it looked like he was looking out of a particular window not far from Madison Square Garden. He had been alone for the longest time in his latest run in his HOW career. You could tell by his body language, even some scars on parts of his body that you could see he had put in a lot of mileage.
It’s very hard to figure somethings out sometimes. My life has been a constant jigsaw puzzle. There are so many things around me that I still do not understand.
But that’s alright.
I have accepted that. We all have to come to that conclusion no matter how much it fucking sucks…because it does. But if you can’t have that honest conversation with yourself, you’re not going to get very far. That was such as the case with me and you all know how I can’t accept that answer for myself.
I was far too prideful and arrogant to bring myself to that conclusion. Yes, it was a fucking epiphany. I know my days in wrestling are now numbered. I know I only have a certain amount of time left that I can perform in that ring. But the last two weeks have taught me that I still have what it takes to be successful. I can still take the best that HOW has to offer and I can still push them to the brink. I’m so close to achieving what I’ve long missed.
Hollywood pauses as he was trying to be careful of his surroundings. These were dangerous times for Hollywood and some of the stuff he had found out over the last couple weeks. Having Buck and Gerald on his case was only half the problem. The other, knowing that Roberto Ramirez, Hollywood’s sister Serenity’s murderer, was still out there and at large. To finally discovering he had a long lost brother out there somewhere, but that he may have had family ties to the Italian mafia. It was a lot for Hollywood to take in, especially after wrapping this whole thing up was a bow in the form of working with his biggest enemy, The Chair. Hollywood sighs as he continues.
I know, crazy right? How the fuck am I to hold a place in a HOW ring with as much bullshit as I have to deal with in my personal life that is ready to implode in front of our very eyes. But I digress…now you all fucking know.
There was still a part of Hollywood that seemed down on himself. He wasn’t much for grief, but there was still one big piece of the entire picture that Hollywood was missing.
You know what the fucked up part is, though? The fact that I’ve actually been able to relate with The Chair as of late. Seemingly becoming more of an ally than an enemy these days. But if there was one thing I learned growing up is that you always, no matter what the circumstances, make sure you have your guard up. You don’t let those walls become breached because in the event of that happening, they’ll use that against you and tear EVERYTHING fucking down!
I guess you could say that’s what I’ve been battling with as of late. But it isn’t necessarily a negative thing. In fact, on the contrary, I use it for the sole intent on pushing myself harder every time I’ve been knocked down. Why? It’s because it’s a mechanism of victory. It’s something I can use against my opponents not only for my benefit, but so that I can rediscover the man I used to be. Which brings me to this week.
Hollywood pauses a moment as he still had his guard up based on where he was. Sure he was near Madison Square Garden, but Hollywood didn’t have too many friends in New York, which quite the opposite…if his brothers ancestry was to be proven true, that would definitely put him in a danger he didn’t want to find himself in and it was sure as hell a dangerous situation if Hollywood’s extended family was tied to the Italian Mafia. Time was only to tell on that one. Hollywood turns his head once more and continues to talk as you could see Hollywood was being careful and being able to speak about his upcoming opponent on Chaos at the same time.
This week, I face a man I know far too much about. This week, I get to lock up with a man who’s not too far removed of coming off one hell of a fight with a retired Mike Best.
But neither of us are surprised to be here are we, Xander Azula?
You know, you and I are no strangers to each other in that ring. We’ve faced off more times in the last year than I have given two shits of a Zion lately…and that motherfucker and I have had several motherfucking battles in that ring. Quite frankly, neither one of us have anything left to give the other. I did want you to know, however, a little courtesy from me to you…
Stay away from that motherfucker. Zion is nothing more than a cockroach ready to be turned over under a rock. Don’t let his whole month of LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE sneak up on you. There is nothing to love about that fucker as you may have seen at Lethal Lottery a couple weeks ago.
But you and I, though?
We’re gonna have one hell of a match! I know we’ve been trading wins as of late, but the last win belonged to me…and after rediscovering something within me that I thought was lost forever, it all of a sudden came out in the biggest way. Then it happened against Conor again last week after I took Christopher America to his limit.
It’s not a coincidence, Xander.
It’s not even fate, either.
No…it’s an Executive Decree because when I hath made it so, there’s no stopping the Executive Decree because when it’s called upon, Xander, there’s no stopping it. And there’s no stopping me.
I made myself a promise a few weeks ago that I had to keep myself together at all costs and weather the particular storm…because sooner or later…I’m going to figure out a way to break this prison I find myself confined to.
I’m just one win away from setting it all straight, Xander…but even I’ll be man enough to say that that one win isn’t going to be easy achieving..only if I find myself using my hatred and anger in our match and you can almost certainly bet that I won’t stop myself from going down that road.
Hollywood’s phone all of a sudden rings.
Uh oh…gotta go. Until Sunday, Xander!
Hollywood’s attention diverts from Xander as he looks down at his caller ID as a shocked look crosses his face. Hollywood closes his eyes briefly and takes a quick breath before whispering something to himself.
Alright…here goes nothing…