Oh shit…he moved!! Get the baby wipes!!

Oh shit…he moved!! Get the baby wipes!!

Posted on January 14, 2021 at 9:08 pm by Black Mamba


James feigns shock as he begins to pace in his living room, scratching his chin as he gazes up and down intermittently.

Old man solex has spoken.

He slows his pace, his gaze seemingly lost as he straightens out and ponders what is to come. The HOFC Tournament was something that was to be treasured, but he didn’t expect Solex to actually do more than grunt as he is takes a deep breath, then exhales.

Are you a bit miffed i didn’t have much to direct at you?

I mean there wasn’t much to be impressed much less concerned. But sure sure, the archives is where your eyes were looking. Did you find anything that mattered? Of course not. Did you learn anything that means jackshit to you?


Look Solex, this match is my stress relief, the tours of you wiping your ass with some tropical grass and drinking snake blood with the RAF, respectable. Commendable. I would salute you to no end, but you’re not exactly what i consider a bonafide threat in this company’s roster. Dare i say you’re at the minimum, the bare minimum, just visiting to flex what’s left of muscles that were used to carry over 300 pounds daily.

He crosses his arms as he shakes his head in disappointment.

Tell me im wrong old man?

That just because you got a look at that past, you’re still relevant enough to be hot shit? That my match up with you is a passing where you think you can take on someone else in the second round. Bitch this is not that simple. It was never going to be that way, but i gave you the benefit of the doubt because that was my chance to be redeeming before i have to regret murdering my elders.

But you knew the risk beforehand, we made those bets. But you wanna believe that you got this. That the fight with someone you can’t remember is going to be just a five second affair. It might take five seconds to shove a silver bullet up your ass, thirty seconds to watch you holler and scream cause you can reach a new octave. But i will entertain you for a few minutes Solex. Its what professionals of this business choose to do. Putting you down would be a disappointment to myself.

I want you to tap out like a bitch. A Knockout does nothing in the grand scheme of things. Sure, you can’t endure the pain, your body tells you to give up. You didn’t have a choice if its a knock out, it was just pure luck then, you can have something to bark about from the safety of your car ride home.

Breaking a joint to make you say “I Quit”? Delicious. I could savor it by the second and it wouldn’t be enough to satisfy what i want. You’re just someone to step on up towards the next round. You were not going to make it to the finals anyway, someone would have snuffed you out. 


Better i do the honors, so you actually have time to reflect that you are just a piece of shit now, and forever after this tournament is done.