Nice guys aren’t that nice …

Nice guys aren’t that nice …

Posted on February 17, 2023 at 10:10 pm by Bobbinette Carey

The mind is a very powerful tool. But what happens when you’re a prisoner in it? When your thoughts aren’t your own? How do you share a mind with someone, or something else. Where is the refuge? If you’re not safe in your mind… then where are you safe?


Question is… am I talking about Bobbinette Carey… or am I talking about Scottywood?  There has been a battle going on inside the head of Bobbinette Carey ever since Rumble at the Rock and honestly, I don’t know how much more of it I can take.  Someone has to win… and someone has to leave.


At March to Glory, something has to give… something has to get better… or else I am going to snap.  I can’t take this anymore.  The constant back and forth.  I just want… I just… I honestly don’t know what I want anymore.  But all I know… is this can’t be allowed to continue.




I hate Pittsburgh. I don’t think there are enough words to express or explain just how much I hate Pittsburgh. I hate everything about this area, the teams, the people. The sports fans are the worst. People talk shit about Cleveland but Pittsburgh is the absolute worst. The armPIT of America. The traffic is awful too, no one knows how to drive. Give me Chicago, or hell, even New York City. I’d settle for being stuck on the 405 in the summer with a busted AC unit in California over going to Pittsburgh.


We fucking get it. You hate Pittsburgh! I fucking HATE Pittsburgh too.  So can we just move on and stop dragging out something you could have said in one fucking sentance? Plus people talk shit about Cleveland because you haven’t done shit!  LeBron brought you one championship… and two other cities three more.  He’s the biggest advertisement for how much better things are anywhere but fucking Cleveland.  Fuckin’ eh Carey!

What the shit-snacks Scooter!  Whose side are you on?


You thought I was ever on the side of Cleveland?  Come on Carey, I’m from New York City.  Yeah the Knicks suck too, but I honestly give zero fucks about that shit ass sport.


…Whatever… and I wasn’t done…  


Yeah you are. Cause I can’t stand this whiny shit.  Second thought, maybe you should like Pittsburgh, you’d get along with that whiny bitch Sidney Crosby.  All you really need to say is… Fuck the Penguins… Fuck Big Ben, hopefully consensually… Fuck Pittsburgh.  Done.


No one cares about hockey…

You better not go any further with that!

…and you made me look like an idiot in front of my hometown.


No, America did that. I was just enjoying the flights at the brewery. Which I can’t fully remember… because you were on a date or some shit. Really professional Carey. Who was this loser?


Not discussing that. It was just a nice time. Maybe I didn’t want to be in the ring at home. Maybe I wanted to be away from the arena because I’m tired of being loser Carey and didn’t want to humiliate myself in front of the home crowd. They deserve better than that. 


Well loser Carey is better than I’m not even gonna try Carey.  It was the fucking Lethal Lottery… your shot at anything… nevermind, it’s in the past.  But how the fuck is wrestling in Pittsburgh any fucking better?


I don’t care about those fans. They aren’t the people I grew up with or their families. You can’t do a “six degrees of Carey” in Pittsburgh.


Are you sure about that? Maybe if you beat Bergman you won’t hate Pittsburgh so much.


Wrong!  It’s in my DNA to hate Pittsburgh. It’s a rivalry. It would just make me rub it in, that an Ohioan won in Pittsburgh. They would have no choice but to accept that I am The Queen… their Queen.


Ok, before you get all wound up in your visions of grandeur, let’s focus on beating Bergman.  That has been no easy task for anyone in HOW over the years.  He’s a former World Champion and…

So?  I am too!

In this last era of HOW?  No, so do not in any way underestimate him.  He’s a man with few holes to poke at and very few areas to trash talk.  Other than maybe he’s about as boring as Jace is fucking creepy.

Yeah, sure his parents didn’t raise him to be like that.

Ok… sure, I don’t really care about Jace’s fucking backstory, but Bergman, while as plain as cream cheese, he gets results in the ring.  Which while being The Queen of Epicness is… epic, losing over and over fucking sucks.

I get it!  Christ you’re being more vicious than normal today.

Well you need a win… and winning that HOTv Title is the jumpstart that Bobbinette Carey needs to get her entire decade back on track.



The snowy Parma Heights skyline slowly comes into focus as we see a white colonial style home of the Queen of Epicness. The front door opens and we see the bruised Mom Squad members, Leah and Michelle leaving the house.  Leah the short one with purple shoulder length wavy hair has it pulled into a bun. The woman is wearing a pair of jeans with a T-shirt with a purple plaid jacket over it. Michelle has on a Nike hoodie with matching pants and shoes. The slender tall women’s hair whisps in the wind. Finally the queen of epicness has red cheeks from the cold. Bobbinette has on a baggy red hoodie with a pair of leggings under it. They hug before departing, leaving The Queen of Epicness alone in her home. The two limp respectively to their own homes as Bobbinette closes the front door. Bobinette looks tired as she walks to her kitchen to clean up the mess the trio of them made… mainly empty wine bottles and dirty glasses.

Bobbinette: It’s an easy night off for Joe Bergman right? Give him Bobbinette Carey and he will easily walk out, still with the title. That’s the plan right? 

Rolling her eyes she ignores her reflection in the window. She turns on the faucet to the sink filling up the one side to soak the dishes.

Bobbinette: Everyone agrees except me. Because it’s just “Carey”, it’ll be a cake walk!! 

Bobbinette reflection: I didn’t fucking agree with shit but you’re ignoring me…

Bobbinette: People aren’t taking into account how much I HATE Pittsburgh. People aren’t taking that into account at all. People aren’t taking into account how annoyed that just being there makes me. 

Bobbinette reflection: For fuck sakes. You’re a broken record. Who the fuck care where your wrestling?  It’s just another city, if you ignore it and focus on the ring, focus on your opponent, it can’t hurt you. You can hurt Joe though…

Bobbinette: Joe Bergman… come on. The “everyman” looking dude that has the fans at home thinking they can do what we do. Lack of style and generic Walmart clothing gives people the impression of approachable. 

Bobbinette reflection: What’s wrong with his clothes?

Bobbinette: What isn’t wrong with his clothes? It’s a scheme to seem like an average Joe, Mister Relatable. I mean aside from his clothes being tacky and basic…But anyone watching the last Chaos knows that it’s just a facade. People accuse me of being two faced but Jesus Christ. He attacked anyone who just came to mind. 

Washing the dishes her eyes look down at the soap, avoiding eye contact with her reflection.

Bobbinette: He has a girl squad in Dawn and Sunny, which in other circumstances I would respect. It promotes females in this male testosterone laden business.

Bobbinette reflection: Is this gonna be another feminist tirade? Bra burning because you broke the glass ceiling and whining cause it’s shark week?  You have Office Spaced the fuck out of that fucking record that it’s just fucking dust.

Bobbinette: I’ve never seen that movie so I don’t understand the reference! But the problem that I have currently, is how much his face appeared on the screen in my hometown. Like how dare he? Like this was all about me trying to make sure that everyone remembered how amazing I am and where I am from but no he decided that he and his squad had to pop up all over and attack people just for the hell of it. I don’t care about most of that.  I realize it was to get him ready for March to Glory, okay cool. But he picked the Queen’s town. My town. Another man getting in the way of me having a beautiful night in my hometown because people wanted to make it about them, their egos got no limits. Bergman is not an “every man”. That’s like the “nice guys.”

Bobbinette reflection: “nice guy” Fucking Anti-Christ, is this because of the Valentine’s Day date you went on I wasn’t allowed to be part of?

Bobbinette: No, it’s the guy who swears up and down he’s really a nice guy but the truth is he’s just an asshole and using the word nice guy to get people to believe him when he really just sucks. Like he doesn’t realize he’s a douchebag, he genuinely thinks he’s a nice guy but he’s a total waste of space. And no you just didn’t belong on my Valentine’s Day date. I was using that in the comparison that Bergman, like “nice guys”, doesn’t see how awful they truly are. That is Bergman, he’s just as bad as the rest of them. Just because he has females around him that look more like a better squad than all the other men doesn’t actually make him a better person. It makes him a sociopath!

Bobbinette reflection: So there was a date… but it went well, so instead you decided to talk about “nice guys” you aren’t projecting any issues that happened Tuesday about it?

Ignoring her reflection she continues on.

Bobbinette: Joe we get it you have a match at March to Glory.. you’ve got assholes to deal with but you picked a lethal lottery in Ohio to do it? MVW bullshit is just that. “Evil empire.”

Bobbinette Reflection: Frankie would have a field day with that. Probably have us all with lightsabers.

Bobbinette: No! The point is that Joe Bergman is the personification of why I can’t have nice things. Most men here are. People like ruining things for me. And I’m fucking over selfish pricks. Life was simpler when I was more selfish. I wasn’t a total asshole but I was quite selfish.

Bobbinette Reflection: Shane Reynolds would agree with you.

Bobbinette: You know I’m liking this arrangement less and less….

Bobbinette Reflection: You keep saying that. I’m the one in a chick’s body. Having to deal with women stuff 

Bobbinette: That’s your doing…

Bobbinette glares at her reflection.

Bobbinette reflection: Yeah but the waking up in bed with some old-

Bobbinette: How about you only come out for wrestling and be helpful?

Bobbinette says cutting off the reflection. 

Bobbinette Reflection: Oh it’s so hard to be you!

The reflection mocks.

Bobbinette: Oh you want to talk about the loser era? You’re dead Scooter. I’m such a loser yet you’re in my body. I haven’t won once since you took over.

Bobbinette is upset at her reflection.

Bobbinette Reflection: You have such abandonment issues that you are letting me hang out here! You like being able to blame me. You don’t have it anymore!

Bobbinette: I survived. You let Stevens kill you. Letting you stay? You know what? Then leave, you’re not wanted anymore. I can take on Bergman without you. Your services are no longer required.

Bobbinette closes her eyes as her fists form into tight fists. The heated conversation is broken as Bobbinette hears noise behind her catching her off guard. She sees her oldest daughter Majandra looking confused at her mother.

Majandra: Don’t mind me while you’re just talking to… no one…

Majandra looks confused at her mother.

Majandra: Hey ma… you uh… how’s therapy going?

Narrowing her eyebrows she looks over to the dishes. Majandra seems to proceed with caution.

Bobbinette: What? Yeah…no I was just.. don’t worry about it.

Majandra: So umm.. I was thinking.. I’ve been training with Aunt Ely again cause you’ve been busy with this huge plan you’re working on.

Bobbinette shakes her head dismissively.

Bobbinette: No, I… what is your question?

Bobbinette says, looking nervously at her child.

Majandra: Mom Squad got to be in the ring with you…

Bobbinette looks at her daughter and walks over to the young woman and clutches her face tenderly. 

Bobbinette: You are my daughter, you will have an amazing career. For the Mom Squad they are friends and fans but they won’t have the type of future you do. That is why I don’t have you at ringside cheering me on. You’re not a little cheerleader, you’re the next generation of bad asses in wrestling. You’re time my child is coming sooner than you think. Let mama finish this out. 

She gives her daughter a kiss on the forehead and a warm hug. Her daughter’s eyes seem to water by the moving words of encouragement. Majandra hugs her mother back and sighs.

Majandra: Whatever you’re planning, don’t do it in Pittsburgh… the super secret whatever you’re keeping in… I think they’d charge you more for being a Cleveland native.

Majandra jokes. Bobbinette laughs nodding her head.

Bobbinette: I just plan on wrestling… I have no master plans.

Bobbinette reassures her child. 

Majandra: I mean… I don’t believe you but okay. Anyways I’m headed to Aunt Elys. Good luck with the title match and the plan you don’t have.

Majandra states sarcastically as she grabs her gear bag and exits the home. Bobbinette looks over at a mirror.

Bobbinette Reflection: It’s not that hard to be you after all…

Looking in the mirror a horrified Bobbinette shakes her head.

Bobbinette Reflection: I got it this week Carey, you go rest. Scottywood, mom of the year and HOTv champion. Lets fucking go!

Bobbinette walks away with a saunter of a walk and a devious look on her face heading out of the house.