New year, still that bitch!

New year, still that bitch!

Posted on January 7, 2022 at 2:13 am by Bobbinette Carey

I love new years! There’s always the new resolutions, new year, new me! Sure that’s great for like 8 days. You spend all the money on crap. Trying to eat right, buying new clothes, buying yourself work out equipment that you’re never going to use, all for some resolution you imposed on yourself. A resolution that you know you’re not going to hold yourself to. You set a lofty goal, because society has deemed that there is something wrong with you; some imperfection…

Social media and society prey on your weaknesses so that way you feel the need to have to change who you are to fit some false narrative. It’s pathetic how often people set themselves up for inevitable failure. You can change yourself anytime you want to, it doesn’t have to be dictated by the first day of a new year. It means nothing, time is a social construct! The only one who needs to follow through on any goal you said Is You! So why set yourself up for failure when you’re not going to do it anyway? And it’s girl scout cookie season so you know your diet’s not going to last. Be realistic. Love yourself for who you are on the inside before you torture your outside.

As for me? This year: new year, still that bitch. Don’t like it? I don’t care. I was not put on this planet to worry about someone else’s perception of me.

I realize I’ve spent the majority of my life attempting to be something I never will be. “Normal.” I was not made to be normal, I was not made to fit into some specific little box that society has deemed for me. No, I’m “annoying.” I’ve heard the not so quiet whispers, the pointed fingers and the blatant announcement of how annoying I am. But it’s said out of love so I should take that advice and change right? It shouldn’t hurt. 

Never really fitting in even here: where we beat the hell out of ourselves for others entertainment! I am still an outcast! Maybe that’s why I’m the only woman who did what I’ve done. Maybe I have felt some ridiculous notion that I have to prove something to try to be normal and fit in. 

I’ve also realized that fitting in means talking about your friends behind their backs, and insulting people just to get a pop from the boys in the back. (Locker room walls aren’t as thick as you think they are gentlemen.)

I finally have made peace with the fact I will never be normal and I am okay with that because I can still look at myself with a clear conscience. So my quirks, my little annoyances that bother you, they are what have helped me survive and I will not apologize for them ever. Sorry, not Sorry.

I’m facing a female for the first time in a long time. And I know what’s expected of me at this point. People expect me to tear down this young woman who is brave enough to be in HOW and to try to make a name for herself! That means something.

People with their selective memories forget that I didn’t tear down every woman in HOW. No, I tore those who didn’t come at me the right way. I tore down those who didn’t have respect for this business. I tore down those who didn’t care and we’re here for the wrong reasons! Over the years I’ve even taken some of these women under my wing and as a feminist you think I’m going to insult her because it’s another woman that I’m wrestling? There’s no need to insult her, she is trying to carry on with so many others haven’t been able to and for that I give her my respect.

We all know what I’ve done, we all know who I’ve been, my name, my accolades all speak for themselves. I don’t have to repeat it over and over. You don’t need a broken record of me talking about myself. So instead how about I lift somebody else up? How about I take this privilege, this blessing I have been given over the years and HOW the only female to do what I have accomplished; to empower another generation?

How about I use my knowledge to help this young woman on the path she is on so she can achieve what I have, if not surpass me. You guys don’t want to hear that do you? You want to hear me insult her and talk about her clothes or about what’s wrong with her or about why she doesn’t fit in here. You want me to rip another woman down. I’m not going to do that anymore, you don’t get that out of me anymore, you know why? Cuz I’m tired of having to trash talk another female who has made it this far. She got here and earned a spot on the roster. She did the same things I have to try to get here. You don’t get the old Bobbinette Carey. The old me who’s going to tear another female apart just to further perpetuate gender stereotypes. You want a cat fight? Piss off, it ain’t happening here.



We see Cleveland Ohio. The gritty dirty landscape, the stench of poverty, the abandoned buildings, the houses that were torched but never completely fell apart the boarded up buildings that once held such promise. No this isn’t the downtown Cleveland you see in photos and pictures that make you want to go to cleveland. This is the real side of Cleveland, the one we try to act like doesn’t exist but it’s more of Cleveland than the postcards. We see the corner of west 25th and Clark avenue. There’s a 24 hr laundromat across from a prepaid cell phone and smoke shop, we see a plaza next to the laundromat with a little Mexican hole in the wall with a door to a building that says “wrestling.” On the door wedged between that and a small old store front window being used as a church. We see Bobbinette Carey walking to the door that says “wrestling” on a cardboard sign on the door. Bobbinette has on a pair of magenta leggings with crowns on them with a “Q.O.E.” vintage queen of epicness t-shirt. She has on a pair of wrestling boots and a black cardigan covering herself in the blustery cold Cleveland weather. She pulls on the handle of the door and enters the narrow building. There are church pews taking up most the Isle of the building. In the front is a ten by ten ring with a door behind it. In the ring we see the middle Carey sister Elysia Carey running the ropes. Elysia’s hair is up in a pony tail as she’s in a black ribbed wife beater with a pair of biker shorts. Elysia is now in her mid 30s and still in shape. She stops running the ropes and sees her older sister and sighs.

Elysia: We’re closed, you’ll have to come back Sunday for the show.

Elysia says with a smirk. Bobbinette takes her cardigan off and sets it down at the pew in front of the ring. 

Bobbinette: seriously?

Elysia: Oh, wait it’s the queen; who has come off of mount high! I guess you’re not here to ask me to be your tag partner for the tournament in HOW.

Elysia mocks.

Bobbinette: They don’t even know who you are! I already have a partner.

Elysia: And just like that Bobbinette Carey proves to only care about herself.

Elysia says slow clapping at her sister on the outside of the ring. Bobbinette wrinkles her eyebrows as she gets up on the apron of the ring across from her sister.

Bobbinette: Just who the hell do you think you are?! 

Elysia: Did you forget? Do I need to introduce myself? I mean you only remember family when it’s convenient. But as for right now I would say I am someone who is training your kid and pissing you off at the same time!

Elysia chuckles as she starts running the ropes again. Bobbinette gets in the ring and starts running the opposite ropes, both of them sure to grab the rope before they bounce off of the rope heading in the other direction.

Bobbinette: You’ve always been jealous of me. Always! You have always thrown fits too. You’ve always been a brat! My daughter isn’t training with you.

The two move across the ring doing this drill of one going side to side the other going front of me back. Elysia doesn’t break her focus as she continues to smile, further irritating her older sister.

Elysia: Which one? You have a bunch of kids!

Elysia quips as she reaches the rope and flips herself out of the ring and gives her sister the room in the ring 

Bobbinette: I gave birth to three! That isn’t a lot!

Bobbinette says holding up her three fingers like a ref who got the pin. Bobbinette shakes her head putting her aggression into running the ropes. It’s clear the queen of epicness is already annoyed.

Elysia: If you want your vag looking like a Stargate it’s not a lot.

Elysia says with a smirk as Elysia looks to the door behind the ring and squints. She shakes her head from side to side throwing her water bottle and getting back up on the side of the ring. Elysia climbs the turnbuckle perched there as she thinks her sister isn’t noticing. She launches to be caught by Bobbinette into a power slam.

Bobbinette: Dad had more kids than I did.

She says getting up from the slam and going into the corner. Elysia gets up holding her back turning to see her sister charge at her. Elysia gets out of the way just in time for Bobbinette to hit the turnbuckle instead of her sister.

Elysia: With different women. So you have more in common then the rest of us do with Dad.

Bobbinette holds her shoulder as she turns around to see her sister take her hand and shoot her off the ropes.

Bobbinette: Our grandfather had more than 60 kids!

Bobbinette yells as she takes the opposite turnbuckle with her back taking the brunt of the force. Elysia charges and takes her sister down with a bulldog. 

Elysia: Granddaddy was a rolling stone and you know that. … Makes sense you turned out the way you did. One of us was bound to.

Bobbinette lays in the center of the ring for a second stunned before she slowly gets to her feet.

Bobbinette: You never stop! 

She shakes her hair glaring at her younger sister as she charges at her, the two tie up in a lock up.

Bobbinette: I took care of Livie!

Bobbinette said, backing her sister up into the ropes.  Bobbinette then shoots her sister off the ropes greeting Elysia with a clothesline.

Elysia: Bobbinette Carey’s fix for everything, throw money at it!

Bobbinette grabs her sister by the hair as Elysia slowly stands up to be thrown off the ropes by her sister again. This time met with a back elbow.

Bobbinette: it doesn’t fix everything!! It is the most useful I can be sometimes.

Bobbinette says yelling down at her sister who looks up from her from the mat.

Elysia: So you admit you’re useless, glad we got that out of the way.

Elysia does a kip up dusting herself off. Bobbinette does a standing drop kick to her sister then gets to her feet quickly as she towers over Elysia.

Bobbinette: as long as you can admit I am the best wrestler in the family.

Bobbinette says standing above her sister. Elysia laughs as she kicks a leg out from under Bobbinette and takes her to the ground. Bobbinette falls down to one knee as Elysia grabs her leg and wrenches it up, twisting it.

Elysia: No, you had the best opportunities. You’re not better than me, you just bullshit better than I do.

Bobbinette spins around as she turns under her sister who has the upper hand. Bobbinette uses her free foot to kick her sister off of her.

Bobbinette: I’m the one who taught you how to wrestle!

Bobbinette says as she uses the ropes to get to her feet nursing her foot. Elysia goes on the offense and forearms her sister a few times. 

Elysia: And I got better than you. Only real difference between us is the opportunity which you got the most of because you’re older.

Elysia sends her sister hobbling off the ropes. Elysia does a drop toe hold, into a triangle submission. 

Bobbinette: My legacy is cemented. No one even remembers you!

Bobbinette screams from the move.

Elysia: Your daughter did!

Elysia arched her back as neither noticed the third person in the ring. Bobbinette uses her back body to get to her feet as she lifts her and her sister slamming her sister and herself down causing Elysia to break the hold. The two of them lay on the mat for a few seconds catching their breath as they notice the third person in the ring.

Majandra: This is really pathetic…and you two are my role models….

It is Bobbinette’s oldest daughter Majandra looking down at her mother and aunt. Bobbinette looks at her daughter and gets to her feet as Elysia slowly does the same. 

Elysia: Your mother came here for something…

Bobbinette: To kick your ass, which I was doing!

Bobbinette says as she crawls over to a turnbuckle her bandage on her head leaking as Elysia and Majandra noticed it.

Elysia: I’m not the one who busted open my stitches…

Bobbinette touches her head seeing blood and shrugs.

Elysia: Just like you kicked Mario’s…

Bobbinette: Scottywood!

Elysia: Your mother has commitment issues so she turns on people before they can turn on her.

Elysia says to Majandra explaining to her why this is an issue.

Bobbinette: I do not! I was mad he was mad. He cost me the match but I knew he would be up to something. It’s why I had a plan.

Elysia: She always has back up plans and’s why she doesn’t call on family.

Majandra looks uncomfortable at this sibling squabble.

Majandra: I mean that sounds pretty on brand. Instead of working things out she cuts and runs. She did that to me and Duncan.

Majandra states in a matter of fact tone. Bobbinette looks at the two women who seem to be comparing notes on the shortcomings of the Queen of Epicness.

Bobbinette: I’ve made mistakes. A lot of mistakes and I’ve tried to atone for them. I am working on it. But by being a better feminist. I used to slut shame. I used to bash other females insulting them for enjoying sex. It was my own prudish behavior that was the problem. I wasn’t comfortable in my own feminity with sex at all.

Bobbinette says in a matter of fact tone.

Elysia: Are you saying you’re…?

The two look over at Bobbinette unsure of what she’s attempting to say.

Bobbinette: No, I enjoy penis. I have a few different types of vibrators and various sex toys.

Bobbinette says plainly. Elysia gags as Majandra shakes her hands grossed out.

Majandra: Mom! I don’t need to know this!

Bobbinette: I learned how important it is to get pleasure and that wasn’t something your father was big on…

Majandra: Jesus mom! What is the point?

Majandra gets out of the ring and grabs a bottle of water by the church pew and takes a ship as she shudders in disgust.

Bobbinette: Just that if Krista Lewis was still alive I’d apologize for talking down about what she does. Sex work is work.

Elysia: Krista isn’t dead.

She chimes in also seeming emotionally scarred by her sister’s words.

Bobbinette: I thought HIV or something would have taken her out!

Bobbinette looks confused then shrugs. Elysia and Majandra look at each other in shock.

Majandra: Mom! That’s slut shaming.

Majandra attempts to point out.

Bobbinette: I didn’t make science, it’s facts. A woman with various sexual partners are more prone to end up with sexuality transmitted infection. 

Elysia: She’s right, Still shaming.

Bobbinette: No I’m not shaming I’m just saying if you don’t take care of your vagina… Do you see a gynecologist?

Bobbinette asks, looking at her daughter. Majandra throws her bottle of water across the room.

Majandra: Could we not?! 

Bobbinette: Well it is Important that you make sure to take care of all your health and your lady town needs routines just like a normal yearly exam. 

Bobbinette motions to her lower area

Elysia: Lady town?! Please stop….

Elysia speaks up as the voice of reason. 

Bobbinette: This is health information and you know that a smell in your bits is normal, douche is bad for you because it throws off the ph balance level.

Majanda: We aren’t having this conversation about sexual liberation.

Bobbinette: It is healthy to discuss!!

Elysia: Nope done…I’m out!

Elysia says getting out of the ring and heading into the back room of the building.

Bobbinette: Pride is in July!

Bobbinette points out as her sister shuts the door behind her.

Majandra: Not like that mom! I’m going for a walk… Shit!

Majandra says exiting the building. Bobbinette sits in the ring looking confused.

Bobbinette: Excuse me for caring.

She says in shock. She sighs as she gets up and realizes she’s alone now.

Bobbinette: Maybe deflecting… 

She says wrinkling her nose. She hears her theme music ringtone and raises an eyebrow as she gets up and climbs out of the ring she gets to her cell phone before it goes to voicemail.

Bobbinette: Hey best friend.

She says in a sing-song voice.

Bobbinette: No, I’m in Cleveland. Yeah I saw we have a match. I thought it wouldn’t be for weeks. 

She says wrinkling her eyebrows as she feels something dripping down her cheek. She realized it was blood from her stitches.

Bobbinette: Eli Dresden… and Brian Hollywood. They were in a seven deadly sins match. Hollywood is… not on our level… I mean if it wasn’t for Eli I would say this match is a cakewalk for us. A soft pitch to ease you back into the ring. But Eli…she’s got promise. Brian Hollywood is a run of the mill dime a dozen flake.

She says as she looks around for a tissue and sees her cardigan. She sighs loudly as she holds it up to her head.

Bobbinette: There’s nothing special about Brian, he’s like so basic that it’s painful to even mention him. Another boring white guy who is generic and unamusing. 

She says with a sigh.

Bobbinette: I seriously mean it, Eli is the one to watch out for. I can’t be positive about another female? You too? Seriously? You know what… I can be positive that we are going to get to team and bring the woke era here to HOW! You and I, the two black hall of famers. Educating the masses and showing them that pro-black doesn’t mean anti-white. Also showing them why we are proud of where we came from and how we both shattered the –

The voice on the other end of the line cuts her off she sighs.

Bobbinette: Let me have this Darkwing! I’m excited damn it! You and I, actually teaming. A unified front! This woke era is going to change the face of tag team wrestling in HOW.

She says looking up as if in the distance. She listens to the voice.

Bobbinette: Yes, yes I was doing my day dreaming thing… you’re on the other end of the phone you don’t get to be Judge Matthew!

She says defensively as she wrinkles her nose. 

Bobbinette: You know what? We will talk later. I’m going to get my stitches fixed! Love you best friend!

She says hanging up. She looks at herself in the reflection of the glass door. She notices the bandage has fallen off and the stitches are ruined. It is a painful reminder of her issues with her former friend.  She looks at her reflection for a good minute before sighs as she exits heading out.