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To rid yourself of a stalker you may as well just break their neck.
Words to live by especially when an uncharismatic veteran try-hard is constantly saying your name.
Doozer is back!
Nothing?
Nobody cares?
I thought he was a just a USS Octane employee (slave) now but here he is wrestling again at as slow of a pace as ever. He’s old.
When Doozer joined The Best Alliance…
Pause.
Did you know Doozer was a member of The Best Alliance?
No?
Well don’t worry nobody else remembers or cares. He joined, brought them all coffee, got his ass kicked, and disappeared into the ether to never be MISSED again. What is his obsession with drinking coffee anyway? I suppose that’s better then Bud Light Watermelon Mojitos at least the first one you can drink around men.
I am confused about his obsession with me. I did not injure him, nor did I throw eGGs at the ambulance that he was inside the night he was destroyed by Sektor and Jatt. The only explanation is that he is butt hurt that Cancer Jiles and I become two time and forever HOW Tag champions together.
That is sad.
Or maybe it is what happened when you crawled back looking for a job again. I won’t apologize for dropping you on your neck and then tossing you a fucking mop. It was business and if you remember I did not enjoy doing it. Taking pointers from Jiles was not something I ever enjoyed especially since the only wins he has achieved recently are when he climbs on my back. I have some of the strongest legs in HOW after carrying an extra two hundred and twenty-nine pounds recently.
This is when you let whatever grievance you have against me and point it at your true target. Unfortunately, I think that is asking a lot of someone who has been dropped on his head for over twenty years in the business.
How does it feel to have to crawl back again when you are almost pushing fifty? If I am still putting my lovely body on the line at your age, I give you permission to leave whatever legends of wrestling tour you are on and kill me. I am saying legend very loosely here.
Sorry…that is if you are still alive in seventeen years. I am not trying to be morbid either, but one more suplex on your neck could be it for you and I am the Suplex Saint…you do the math. How many times have you been to the hospital and been told that retirement is probably the best course of action?
Do not get me wrong I am not trying to kill you or retire you, Doozer. I feel like a child having to call you that by the way and I am amazed you haven’t seen a lawsuit from The Jim Henson Company. Guess you aren’t important anywhere to anyone.
I need to be able to perform without worrying about paralyzing someone though. Knowing Lee, he put something in your new janitor contract where any harm that comes to you is YOUR fault. I will believe in GOD and make sure to not hesitate to throw knees at your neck until I am dragged off your limp body. The Miracle Man has been going through a lot and I might have some anger issues where I see 97Red. I implore everyone to drag me off you because my desire is victory not a guilt trip.
I have no issue being your wake-up call though. I want you to take a hard look at yourself after I am done giving the doctor days of work to do. If it takes a good cry for you to realize your career is over, it is worth it because your family is not going to get a penny out of HOW if you are incapacitated even worse later. Think of this match as your last and give me everything you have because anything less will have you making phone calls to Dan Ryan and Scott Stevens about having zero income and a bunch of failed investments.
Shudder the thought.
This isn’t a safe space for you, and I plan on making the cage a bloody mess because I have a lot to get out of my system.
You don’t get a handshake.
You don’t get a sorry.
You get Enlightened.
You get spit at.
The Best Alliance
The Heart and Soul.
ME.