Mouthful

“I just can’t fake it. I cannot pretend that losing doesn’t bug me. I cannot say that I have the same confidence moving forward with HOW as I had when I first appeared and left Brian Hollywood laid the fuck out. Was it even a big moment to take pleasure in? I looked to make a statement, to break the mental will of Hollywood down only to have him up and perky the very next show. Only for him to show that his will was much stronger than first anticipated! 

After that, I switched attention to another. A lesser name in the rankings of High Octane. A name that has been ridiculed and shit on anytime I have seen it mentioned. So much so that he doesn’t even go by Zion anymore. He reassigned himself like he changed genders but the same pair of eyes stare back at you anytime you see Darin face to face..”

Submerged up to his neck in an icy bath. Jason Cashe was set in relax mode. He was letting the ice work out his aches and ailments as if it was the fountain of youth. Eyes shut, head laid back against the enlarged tub he was in, Cashe was dead to the world. Into the room walks another individual but you can’t see their face, only their boots and scrubs covering their legs. “Jason?”

A slight flinch as Cashe’s head comes off the edge of the bathtub. Sitting up, he turns enough to see the one who interrupted his ice bath. “Yeah?”

“It’s about that time..” The voice calls out, still only seeing their feet and legs. Cashe doesn’t respond with anything but a nod and that was enough to get the human alarm to leave the room. Cashe’s arms lift from beneath the surface of the water and they drape over the sides. Water trickling down off his fingers. 

Just as his eyes close yet again, the door opens for a second time. “Jason, it’s almost time. Do you want to get ready?”

“… Hey?” He responds with a raspy growl to his voice. Cottonmouth has taken over and it sounded so. 

“Yeah?” 

“What show is this again?” It was an honest question. So many different promotions nowadays. So many different offers and money on the table that it was hard to recall every variety of initials that promotions use to identify themselves. 

“Huh? Show? Jason, you asked me to let you know when an hour has passed..”

“I did?” A look of confusion fills his face. He sure can’t remember why he would ask for an alarm clock or why he, like most people wouldn’t just use his alarm on his phone. “Did I say why?”

In return he hears a slight snicker, a laugh that is followed by a response. “Something about you not wanting to get pruney?” 

Lifting his left hand, he looks at his fingers. They were getting those wrinkles that indicate you’ve spent some time in water. That seemed like a lame ass reason for a human alarm. “Was I high? I sure don’t remem–“

“You were knocked out. Do you remember that?”

“No, not really.. Last thing I remember was trading punches with ummm.. Fuck, what was his name?”

“I just work here man.. I don’t remember names unless they end up in one of the tubs. If you need more time, let me know. Towels are over here..” 

Pulling the door closed as the man leaves the room. He was clearly just a member of the staff and not a fan of the product itself. HOW could be very overwhelming for those either too arrogant to see it’s truth or those who just can’t keep up with the schedule. Cashe has flashes of memory that reminded him he had been in a fight but couldn’t quite remember the name of the man he fou–

“Steve Solex!” Proud of himself for remembering, he adds. “That dickhead hits hard, I’ll give him that!”

Fast forward a week or two and we come to the current day. Jason Cashe probably had a concussion but there was no protocol for that if he can hide the symptoms with marijuana in high volume. Still, he didn’t have time to sulk in losses. While HOW was a giant opportunity, he also found that it’s never about where you’re at but where you lay your hat. What you consider home. 

“I wish I could say that I’ve had this opportunity on my mind every waking moment. That bouncing back from the Solex loss was my prime objective but let’s look at the truth of it. I have broken into the home of a former friend, I burned his possessions of most value, I beat his protege down inside of a ring. That was before I got tased and arrested by the Seattle Police Department and NONE of this happened in HOW. 

Does that mean it matters less? In this circle, sure. They say home is where the heart is and when I think of revenge, violence and seeking the next step, I find that it is where I have already planted seeds and have watched the roots begin to dig through the soil. 

In HOW, names like JPD or Hollywood, even the great Mike Best have stepped away from their home and cannot say that things went as well as they have for them here in HOW. It’s a double standard. I wanted to believe there was hope I could do something here, become not just a name outside this environment but also someone who could make a name for himself inside the walls of High Octane. Maybe that could happen but I have never been the kind of guy to spread myself thin. I tried with One Wrestling Movement, with GCWA and in both of those places, I ended up sidetracked..

My heart belongs to another. 

And why shouldn’t it be? After attacking Hollywood, after leaving Zion laid out in a bathroom. They both went on about their business and acted as if nothing happened outside of a few spoken words. I showed up with a ski mask and thought I could shake things up but what did I really even do? I ended up KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT by a guy who has never attempted to step foot outside of his own comfort zone. I am not comfortable in HOW, it is not my home. I came out of greed to have more success than I needed or truly even want. 

I joined APW in 2010 and was exclusive for 5 years. I joined 4CW after that and again, I was exclusive for close to that same amount of time. Loyalty was a driving factor just as someone who joins a gang and throws up gang signs, I had mine that I threw up and represented. It’s truly a dying commodity so it is a pleasure to see those in HOW have that same loyalty. I wish I could share that with all of you but in reality? I have it already.. Somewhere else.

So you want a fight Darin? Fine. I can and will fight you. We are booked to do so right? After that if HOW wants to book it. I will step into the ring and throw damage towards my former House of Howe team mate in Brian Hollywood.. I can do that! I can take those bookings because they are why I came here initially. And maybe I cannot fake loyalty, pretend to be completely invested but if it’s a fight you want? Win or Lose, Sink or Swim. In HOW you can expect that. It’s always one small window that determines if you win or lose and I will collect payment. That is my focus for HOW. Paid. Doesn’t have to make sense to everyone, it makes sense to me and I have a life jacket so come try to sink me..”