Mike Shat First

Mike Shat First

Posted on April 25, 2023 at 2:00 pm by Scottywood

I tried Mike… I really fucking tried to get one up before you.  Because I know that is your game.  I know that you NEED to control the fucking narrative when it comes to HOFC… you NEED to get people on the defensive so you can stay on the offensive.  Because you know that you have the people of HOW eating out of your hand with every fucking word you say.  Every post is like Moses coming down from the heavens with the Ten Commandments.  So once the words are written, it’s almost impossible for anyone to counter.

I took eight minutes longer than you.  Not a long time when it comes to the bedroom, though I’m sure any woman would be thrilled for it to be eight minutes shorter with Mike Best.  But those eight minutes seem to be an eternity when it comes to HOFC.  It’s better to be fast than good, that’s your motto.  Just come right in our eyes with those words so fast no one can see the bullshit standing in front of them.  The true man hiding behind the avalanche of insults.

So was I gonna just bin all my work?  Go read your 750 word diatribe, obsess over it and try to respond to every jab you made?  Come the fuck on Mike.  I honestly could go this entire thing and not read a single word of what you have to fucking say.  Cause I don’t give a fuck about it.  Maybe you think this is how HOFC is supposed to go.  This tit for tat battle of verbal jabs, but just because you say it, doesn’t mean it is another Mike Best Commandment.  Thou Shalt Always Respond To My HOFC Rants.

You are not The GOD of HOW.  Even though I know you want that more than anything.  You’d trade the title reigns, the HOF ring, the War Games wins… all so you could be your father.  You want control of HOW so fucking badly.  It’s the only thing you can’t win here.  It’s the only thing that would make you the true top dog in HOW.  But he will NEVER give it to you… and that fucking kills you inside.  Maybe that’s why you took a desk job… prove to daddy you can run the company, that you won’t just get it canceled after some Twitter war you had with some indy wrestler you caught pretending to have a hot girlfriend just to seem cool.  Congrats, you don’t even need Google Image Search to ID any porn star in a photo.  More reasons why Mike shoots so quickly?

So what happens when I change the rules here Mike?  What happens when I pretty much ignore all your bullshit and don’t get dragged into stupid shit like creepy photos, Amazon dildos and gym shorts.  Fucking eh you two were digging at the bottom of the Walmart bargain insult bin.  Better than recycled Ronald McDonald jokes under a lazy disguise of a Back to the Future joke I guess.

Maybe me not taking your bait is another reason why I apparently disappoint you.  Ok, great.  I’m an alcoholic, you think I haven’t disappointed countless people in my life?  Plus, when have I ever claimed to be a wrestler Mike?  I know less moves than beers I’ve had this week… and it’s only fucking Tuesday.  I buy barbed wire wholesale from cattle ranchers and I’m pretty sure blood gives me a fucking erection, both literally and sexually.

It’s the same as when you log into Twitter.  Bet just the sight of that blue bird gives you blue balls these days.  Ripping insults off at whatever fucker you could bait into a fight, just to ignore how fucking dead you are inside.  We all knew you were gonna quickly find a reason to start attacking me, after that fake ass piece pretending to care, pretending to take the moral high ground.  Mike Best cares about no one, so just fucking drop it.

You don’t give a fuck about whipping your War Games team into shape, just be honest.  You’re getting bored behind that desk and you need to unload those insults that bring you that sweet release.  You’re a fucking keyboard warrior troll and no amount of desk work is gonna change that.  I know it, your father knows it… and someday you will finally accept it.  

Carve that shit into stone, HOW Shalt Not Ever Be Yours.