Now this is something I’ll get no argument from you on. You’ve been doing this in HOW since day one. On Twitter, radio, promos and especially in HOFC. Bending fuckers over and giving it to them harder than a Westboro Baptist priest forcing their “Jesus” in everyone.
It’s not gay if done for Jesus!
You still playing off that ChristPlow gimmick? Talk about shit that’s been overdone. But now I include knee puns in it! It’s fresh! Hey, I get it. It’s the schtick that made you famous here in HOW. You took getting “murdered” by Christopher America at The Colosseum and made it into one of the most memorable characters in HOW history. I mean who doesn’t love a good Jesus trolling these days.
Shrug. I used to call myself The Anti-Christ.
Kneesus Vs. Anti-Christ… I think I had a beer called that once…
Anyhow it’s why you’ve been begging for the division to be brought back. It’s your best opportunity to procure that all too valuable lube now that someone updated the World Title history. It did bring me joy to delete your face off the top of it though. For 490 days I had to look at you or Farthington’s fucking face on the top of that page.
An impressive length that saw you two defend that belt sixteen times… or about once every thirty days. Not bad… except when you realize that counts matches against Benny Newell, Chris Kostoff, Bobby Dean, Darin Matthews, RAH and a pre crippled Scott Stevens. Names that we can fairly say probably didn’t deserve those shots. So ten legit defenses between you two over one and a third years. Six out of your record setting ten defenses. Though three of those six were against the same man.
But please, keep telling me how great your record setting reign was. We know, 266 days, 10 title defenses and you only lost it because you kneed Jiles out the cage door after being hit with two super kicks.
Of course that is how you lose the title though… you beat yourself… eye roll.
But I know you don’t give a shit… and seeing your name running across the top of all the records is gonna burn your wood out real fast without some more tears to put out the fire you’re stroking. Stoking? Just hope the face of Jiles staring back at you doesn’t cramp your style.
Next I know you have your sights set on the HOFC records. That of course is if you haven’t shot your eye out with a premature firing of your red rider rocket. I know those records are another reason why you’ve been begging daddy for the return of HOFC. Especially since your sham defenses at the end of 2019 were not sanctioned. Plus you faced some shit competition. Noah Hanson, Scott Stevens, Brian Hollywood and a long retired Christopher America?
Can we side note this is the second time I’ve mentioned Scott Stevens? You just fucking love to dangle carrots in front of that fucker don’t you? I’d say I’m happy that you can’t anymore… but since when does being crippled prevent you from padding your win count?
This is why I call bullshit on you now claiming you wanna bring prestige back to that belt by giving me the first shot. You just wanna pad your numbers and claim more records so you can make your dicker harder and… fuck again?
Take it easy on those tears Mike, cause there will be none for you to collect Saturday. Other than your own when I KneesusSmack that pay by the hour hotel fucking grin off your face and have you Cryin’ Like A Bitch. Then again, when I take that HOFC Title off you at Refueled, I’m sure you’ll just be keyed up for a rematch shortly down the road. It’s fine though. I’ve beaten you before. I’ll beat you Saturday. And I’ll beat you again Mike.
So yeah, I’ll take your advice and “just beat you”. It’s not as hard as you try and make everyone believe it is. When your facing legitimate challengers of course.
Because for every one of those titles you’ve won… you also lost most of them too.
Again, twice to me.
Add in the fact I already have two HOFC title reigns, I’ll have two reasons to also hold three fingers up after my match.
Except I won’t be looking like a fucking twat doing it.