I’m sure you’re familiar with the king’s court.
The king, his queen, the rest of the royal family.
The nobles and lords that the king confided in, who were often yes men.
The knights who valiantly defended the king and his land.
And the jester.
A role steeped in reputation.
Jesters were often seen performing in song, storytelling, and even acrobatics when the need arose.
But they were most known for their jokes, often pointed in light-hearted nature at the king himself or other people of power.
And with such jokes came the jester’s privilege.
Anyone wondering where the jester’s cap with bells came from, or why he carries a scepter, might be surprised to hear it was a symbol of such protection, to mock freely without punishment.
If a commoner…a poor, if you will…got caught so much as muttering a bad word about the king, they’d be subject to a massive penalty.
Fines, jail, maybe even death.
But the jester got away with anything and everything.
In some ways, he was possibly one of the most powerful members of the court aside from the king himself…but at the end of the day he was still, for all intents and purposes, a clown.
I look at Scott Stevens and I see a man who considers himself at times a noble, seated at the banquet with his king Lee Best.
It’s why you started rattling off your job description, right?
To see if I would be intimidated by what rank you have in High Octane Wrestling?
There was also the matter of this year’s War Games, in which Scott feels he was a brave knight defending the honor of the GOD of HOW.
Tell me, Scott, how’d that go for ya?
One of the first guys in for Team Best, and what did you actually do?
Did you eliminate anyone? No.
Did you help your team eliminate anyone? Also no.
You showed up, did a few kicks and punches, and got eliminated by Conor Fuse.
And what does it say about you that even I managed to not only eliminate Scottywood, but outlasted you in War Games?
Let me spell it out for you, Scott Stevens…you are the jester of the court.
So full of yourself that all you can manage to brag about things you did and didn’t do.
“Hurr hurr, I was on the winning team therefore I won War Games this year!”
Shut the fuck up, Stevens.
And you call me the Participation Trophy of HOW.
I’d ask if you could see so much as a hint of irony or hypocrisy there, but I already know the answer.
You’re not paying nearly as much attention as you should be, Stevens.
Or else you’d already know why I’m challenging you under such conditions.
And you call yourself an archivist.
Paying attention isn’t your strong suit, even if recapping the past week of programming would suggest otherwise.
I boarded the USS Octane to get over my sea sickness, yes.
Unlike you, I’m not ashamed to acknowledge my shortcomings.
I find that to be the first step toward becoming stronger.
And while I’ve certainly struggled in the ring…I’m a beast inside that HOFC cage.
Crack your jokes about Brian Hollywood if you must, but feel free to ask him, Harrison, and Solex what I can do under those circumstances.
I’ll let you in on another shortcoming of mine, buddy ol’ pal.
As a kid I suffered from some terrible anxieties, not the least of which was coulrophobia.
That’s right Scott, I was scared of clowns.
Absolutely hated the circus for that reason.
The fear subsided over time, I got somewhat better.
But I look at you and I can feel it trying to bubble up inside.
So, much like boarding the USS Octane to overcome my sea sickness, I’m challenging you to this HOFC fight to get over that fear once and for all.
I like to think of it as exposure therapy, good for the mind and the soul.
All that foolish talk coming out of your mouth was bound to catch up with you sooner or later.
And when I’m done with you, Lee Best is gonna have to reconsider your jester’s privilege.
What will you have then, Stevens?
A cushy office job to keep you busy?
The comfort of finally being inducted into the Hall of Fame?
It certainly won’t be your dignity, you lost that a long time ago.