JATT STARR: Were you expecting someone else? I think we all can agree that until further notice, the Wabid Wabbit should not be the one talking.
Chris Kostoff. That name might not mean a thing to you, Adam. But he was the certifiable monster of the HOW. That name struck fear in the hearts and pee in the pants of those who faced him.
You know what made Kostoff the scariest person in the HOW? It was his apathy. He didn’t give a rat’s rectum if he was or lost. He only cared about hurting you. When you squared off against Kostoff, you might have won the match, but you were never the same again. He didn’t need a pen or a loaded rubber chicken or brass knuckles or a barbed wire hockey stick to seriously injure someone. All he needed was his hands and a reason.
Adam, you might be asking yourself “Why is Jatt Starr, the Ruler of Jattlantis, the Sultan of SeaJattle, the King of Jatten Island giving a little skidmark like me a history lesson?”
After spending time with the Wabid Wabbit, I realize he has something in common with Kostoff. Wins and losses are meaningless to him.
The Wabbit does not seek fame or glory.
In his mind, it’s about punishing you. Beating you within an inch of your life and then coming over to shake your hand afterwards. That last part really turns my stomach about him, to be honest with you.
You’re partially right. Call it coincidence, call it divine intervention from the HOW gods, but this is my one, and possibly only chance I will have to exact my revenge against that cockalorum, Sektor. It cannot be done whilst he’s the LSD Champion and in the Best Alliance. At least not without permission from the “Pope”. That does not seem very likely, medically speaking.
Even though I’ve got my billion dollar smile in this million dollar physique now.
Which is why I firmly believe that my dear frie—, associate, the Wabid Wabbit, his ridiculous name, his speech impediment (which he working very hard on, I might add) will thump your arrogant ass into the mat.
This match,, is merely the next step of the ReStarrection and you are just a teeny tiny footnote. What? Mike Best doesn’t own rights to all theological references.
Where you are mistaken is that the Wabid Wabbit is something Sektor will never be. Loyal.
Would it surprise you to learn that he has suffered more pain and indignity than any one person should? Would it surprise you to know that there are elements of his life and mine that connect us? Would it shock you to know that the Wabid Wabbit would never betray me?
Unfortunately for you, Adam, you are what Sektor will consider “expendable”. You have way more to lose than the Wabid Wabbit. All the pressure is on you. The expectation I have for the Wabbit is to make a bloody example out of you. Sektor expects you to win. If you lose, you’ll be sent to the unemployment line with the other vagrants and deadbeats. And you know what? I won’t lose sleep over it. That’s for damn sure.
WABID WABBIT: Actuawy, I would wike to add somethin’, if I could.
JATT STARR: We talked about this. You are not ready yet.
WABID WABBIT: It is impewative.
JATT STARR (sighing): Fine. Go on.
WABID WABBIT: Adam, aftah I have weft you a bwoody mess in that cage, I hope you and I can put this match behind us and let this beef between Jatt and Sektah stay with them. You know, business is business. You seem like a pwetty cool dude and I can foahgive you foah youah needwess jibes against my speakin’ abiwities. I know it’s in youah competitive naitchuh and you wehen’t bein’ sewious. At weast I hope not.
JATT STARR: Ugh. Sometimes, you quite literally make me sick.