Posted on January 10, 2021 at 12:52 am by Conor Fuse

Helllllllo Mr. Hollywood, how are ya on this fine morning? I hope you’re ready to go, I know I am!

I’ve listened to a lot of your rants. You say you need to get back to the top, to be the world champion of this era. That’s great, good for you. Round of applause! I really hope you get there. I mean, you’ve been showing off your worth these days… you know, losing the tag titles and all so quickly. Was it 0 successful title defenses? Ah but yes, you made Mike Best bleed. I’ve heard that so much out of your mouth recently it makes my ears bleed. Congrats on that, though. I’m sure you really showed Mike and he hasn’t stopped talking about it, either.

It’s funny, at first I thought I might be in tough but then I take a step back and see the types of BOTS you surround yourself with… guys like Darin Matthews and I wonder do you even know how to play this game?

Some Second Player he is. Might as well go solo! That guy’s a lost lives machine!

Enough about Darin. It’s about you. Your rise to glory that will be shut down faster than one of your introspective discussions that’s so far up your own ass, I turn off your video game cutscene before it’s over.

Do you really want to be World Champion again? Do you really want to win this tournament? How bad do you want it? Be honest with me. Bad enough to wake up early in the morning, get your head in THIS era and start running your mouth? Or are you gonna do what the boys in the back say you do. Last one to the gym. Last one to the ring. Last one to open your big trap.

And bro, I checked when you clock in your promo times. You reallllly want it bad, huh?

Let me tell you what it LOOKS LIKE to WANT IT. Wanting it means waking your ass up early, putting your thoughts out there and then going to the gym to fix your weaknesses. It’s NOT about showing up randomly and living in the past. It’s NOT crying about where you SHOULD be, it’s about stepping up, taking people’s shit and being a FRONT RUNNER. It’s NOT about fate, it’s about kicking the door down and finding your own path. Create your single player campaign, don’t lag and wander.

Mr. Hollywood, put in commitment and care about what you do as a wrestler. Because there are plenty of people in this High Octane system that are busting their ass and not worried about what they had for catering or what GTA glitch happened to their sister.

At the end of the day, the theme is honour and determination. Something you know nothing about. You call Darin a part of your co-op but then subtly blame him when he takes the pin? Naa bro, you both took that L.

I will make a statement in our match and I will do it methodically. I will tear you limb from limb. Knock you down and drag you out. I will wake up every morning, train all day long and then I will speedrun you, that’s how bad I want this. As an added bonus, you get another awesome reality check because it’s super clear you didn’t register the other ones you’ve recently received.

Game Over. No Continues.

Your dream of being HOW World Champion will never happen again. Not getting out of the FIRST round of the tournament will be a sobering slap to the face, courtesy of your resident gamer and masterful Street Fighter.

Surprise me, Mr. Hollywood. Show me how bad you want it. Something tells me I’ll be waiting before I hear from you, though.

DING! This is me turning on my Game Boy [my actual system, not my henchman… don’t get all juvenile] and playing video games while I patiently wait for your reply.

Hope my batteries don’t run out in the meantime.

Let’s do this, Hollywood. I wanna play. Throw me a Donkey Kong barrel; don’t keep me waiting. Be punctual and we can tear the MF house down.

Or you can go back to that nice little spot you’ve entrenched yourself in… beside the ultimate Second Player, Darin Matthews.

Hellllllo Mr. Hollywood. Your wake up call is here.