Down in a bunker somewhere unknown… sits the President of the United States… or whatever people want to call him. In the past year, both the legitimacy of the Presidency and the country have been called into question. Is he really still in power? Is there still really a country? Did Texas and California really secede and try to become their own country. Did New York really become the new capital of a new empire? Is any of this more than a mere dream in an alcohol deprived brain?
“President Woodson… we have found the traitor Brenton Cross. It seems that he and his small group of rebellions are planning a time jump. A jump to cut us off before the all out assault on Max Kael. Do you want us to take him out?” Questions the General to Woodson who snaps around hearing the final question and nearly screams back at the General.
“No! Brenton must be left alone… watch him… monitor him… he must think that he is indeed on a mission to change the timeline… and not in fact causing the timeline to occur. This is what sets everything into motion…” Smiles President Woodson as he takes a drink of his beer out of a pint glass with a presidential logo on it.
It’s probably a hazy sour stout… or some kind of other new beer trend that pushes the beverage further and further from what a beer even is… but is still somehow wildly popular just cause it is new and different and all that beer hipster stuff.
“What is more important is the battle against the Meca-Kael… how are we doing?” Ask President Woodson as… yes, I know what you are going to ask. Well Maybe. Probablly first why and how Scott Woodson is President of the United States… and what the fuck is a Meca-Kael.
First… do we need to sound the political warning siren? The one where if we go near anything remotely political we need to sound so those who can’t have intelligent conversations about regardless if they have differentiating opinions without just screaming at…
WOOOOOO! WOOOOOO! WOOOOOO! WOOOOOO!
This is America… or was America… so of course we do.
Let’s start with Scott Woodson who by 2039 has been running HOW as a global empire. Lee Best is dead… we will say that Kostoff probably killed him. Fucker can only escape from him so many times. But Woodson takes over his forty-nine percent, thus having complete control of HOW. Mike Best holds onto his two percent… but his voice has been silenced and essentially keeps it just for the stock dividends. Yes, HOW goes public and draws in billions of dollars a year due to the world’s devolving back into a want for bloodshed ever since the world’s global relationships were destabilized by…
WOOOOOO! WOOOOOO! WOOOOOO! WOOOOOO!
Fucking eh just let me tell a god-damn story! Iran is pissed. North Korea… pissed. China feels fucking cheated after years of a shit trade deal. India and Pakistan exchange nuclear attacks and kill nearly a hundred million people combined before coming to a Cold War-esq stand-off slash truce. The World is a fucking mess and everyday we are on the brink of World War Three.
Cue the 2040 elections and a billionaire businessman who has been running HOW as a successful bloodsport wrestling fed now for twenty years throws his hat into the race. He runs as an independant and funds his own campaign… preaching that he is going to really change the corporation that has taken over Washington. That if he needs to he will even bring back an old friend to clean Congress and The White House…
He talking about his barbedwire hockey stick… he’s gonna fucking beat the bloody shit out of politicians. In a democratic way of course…
And it works… cause after twenty years people forget how badly shit can go wrong when a person who has to answer to no one is suddenly in control of everything. Normal politicians answer to everyone… cause they’re owned by… everyone. It sucks and frankly there is no fucking good answer of how to give certain people power and it not all go to fucking shit. People suck… period.
But what everyone doesn’t know… it’s all a game to Woodson. He doesn’t give a fuck about making America better… about pulling the world out of global anarchy. Fuck… he’s enjoying that later part way too much. The man is now sixty-two years old and he’s quite shocked that he’s still alive. So he could care less how he leaves this world when he is gone. All he cares about… well you can certainly guess that one.
The LSD Title.
Max Kael has had a stranglehold on the title ever since winning it at Rumble at the Rock 9 some twenty years ago. Yes, he may have had some ups and downs with it… lost it for a period here and there… but he always managed to bring it back home to North Kaelrea and the Supreme Leader.
Now Max Kael himself is no spring chicken these days… he’s sixty-four. But hardly nothing on Max Kael is sixty-four. After his dumpster fire incident in 2019… he slowly started replacing more and more of his body with metal… robotics… he used stem-cells… transplants. The finest, most futuristic medicine and treatments were used in North Kaelrea to repair Max Kael. Now he is certainly more machine than human…
He is Meca-Kael
Or that is what people call him behind his back… say that to his face and you’ll likely not have a face of your own for much longer.
But Meca-Kael has been dominating the HOW roster… whoever Woodson sends after him… fails… perishes… dies at the hands of Meca-Kael…. cause he’s esseitally a fucking robot control by a human brain… maybe… that is even a question these days. But because of loopholes in Max’s contract Lee granted before he died… allowing the eye patch and other “medically needed equipment”… which his lawyers were able to stretch… very fucking far.
So unable to take down and unbeatable robot monster… Woodson decided to go with the nuclear option… literally nuclear and try to nuke Meca-Kael into fucking oblivion. But it seems the world is still pretty fucking picky about who they allow to have nuclear weapons. It’s 2040… why can’t you just buy that shit off Amazon have have it delivered buy drone to wherever the fuck you want it. What the fuck are we even paying for Prime these days for!?!
Greedy fucking Jeff Bezos… whose sevety-fucking-six and looks like he is forty. Guess money can really buy to anything in the fucking future.
So the only way to obtain nuclear weapons in America… is to become President. Cue the bullshit campaign that Americans eat the fuck up. Because the first wrestling Hall of Famer went soooo….
WOOOOOO! WOOOOOO! WOOOOOO! WOOOOOO!
Son of a bitch! Stop that shit! Woodson has always been good on the mic… so he crushed the debates… left candidates lieterally crying on the fucking stage. Imagine how he could have crushed Joe Biden last night if he was on the stage for that Iowa debate.
Come the election it was the biggest electoral landslide in the history of elections…
No… no it wasn’t… because America got rid of that stuipd archaic system like ten something years ago and with the use of something called technology… can easily count every American’s vote equally. California, to Rhode Island… it doesn’t fucking matter. You vote… it counts… what a clever fucking evolution after more than 250 years.
Sorry… getting ranty again and my headache can’t take another fucking siren. So President Woodson is in control of the nuclear football now and as he hunts down Max Kael… he is ready to use it to nuke whatever country he is in off the fucking map. An act that will cause the remaining functional countries to retaliate against America and send the planet into a nuclear winter that none of us may ever come out the same from.
Removing his headphones, Woodson opens his eyes and scans to the right and left of him… to the left is the bright blue sky some thirty-thousand miles in the sky… two his right is a Frankie… whos is crazily coloring in a connect the dot picture that he has horribly messed up on. Pulling his iPhone out of his pocket he pulls up one of his social media tools and starts to broadcast some live video… cause yes, he paid for the inflight wifi. It’s a rip off yes… but 49 percent… so yeah.
“The future is coming Brenton… and it is all your fault. You will set it into motion when I destroy you at ICONIC and cement the power of Scott Woodson in HOW. You have lived it once… and you will be forced to live it all over again. Helpless to change it… because if we have learned nothing else… it is that time doesn’t like it when you try to mess with it. It will fight back in the harshest of ways… doing whatever it has to to keep things on track… to avoid ripping the fabric of space and time apart. You have no idea what you are up against Brenton… but at ICONIC… Scott Woodson will show you.”
“Can I show you what I have been coloring?” Asks Frankie as he tries to show Woodson his “art” but his father is having none of it.
“Not now Franklin… Brenton Cross will see at ICONIC that he wasn’t sent back here to change anything… but he was sent back to cause it… to cause it all. To cause an endless time loop that he will forever be stuck in while I destroy the World… all for that LSD Title.”
Woodson smirks at the iPhone before he taps the red button to end the feed before tucking the phone back into his pocket and cracking open the bottle of generic brand water and takes a long refreshing drink while looking out at the bright blue sky… while it is all still there.