Look everyone: I made myself a hypocrite.
What a surprise, right?
I get it.
I dropped the ball that I had been massaging since I entered that damn Conex Box. I promised myself that I would stay focused but instead I took an edible as I dealt with more personal issues. I walked into Chaos 001 against Tyler Best for the Icon Title and didn’t even care about the match. That doesn’t make me bad ass or original it makes me a flipping idiot. People seem to think I have excuses for this loss, but the truth is I lost to a hungrier younger wrestler who happens to be extremely annoying.
Congrats, Tyler. I hope you know that this isn’t the end of us and after you are done with Jatt I will be back to claim that Icon Title.
Focus…man…heh, I love to lie about it.
Today will be the day!
I cannot make this promise anymore because I have constantly let other issues get in my way. I can promise The Highwaymen that I will always be there for them though. I will always have their backs when they need me even if I have been elusive since War Games. My phone is always on and if Joe, Solex, or Clay need some advice I will be there to give it.
If my advice is sound is a whole other issue since my mind is wandering worse than a hobo riding the rails. I did this to myself though and the truth is I have zero regrets even if it has cost me two titles now.
I sit back and realize what I have lost. It didn’t take long for Carey talking to STRONK about the LSD Title to make me want to vomit and toss Carey into a volcano. I hate the fact that I want to shake Jace’s handed after he tossed her into shark infested waters. It sickens to me to watch Napoleon the Bodybuilder walk around with my LSD Title, but I only have myself to blame.
What I do now I fully believe will make all I have loss worth it. I can understand some people might think I am foolish for my recent actions, but I have discovered that just holding a wrestling title will not make me happy. I need more, but I have realized I deserve more. Wrestling taking a back seat makes people angry, but wrestling is a job and after a match is done what is there for me?
I enjoy my job of course but when the lights are out what is left? The LSD Title was a good companion, but it didn’t help me sleep or get rid of the nightmares that have been haunting me the past year. I don’t care about children making comments about my focus being on Rebecca. It is just baseless conjecture with zero facts. She is not my girlfriend nor am I getting married any time soon.
This doesn’t mean that I don’t have feelings for her that I finally have the maturity to realize. Maybe it is that I finally understand feelings in general since my mind has been freed from my father’s grasp. Of course, by expanding myself I lost a part of myself I didn’t realize I needed so badly.
Therefore, I am putting myself through business failure even though it isn’t looking too sunny personally either.
Where I go from here will either save it all or destroy everything and let’s just say it isn’t starting well.
We got to the door, and I opened it to be met Jack running around and yelling.
Oh, great I thought mockingly…or maybe be it was great.
I stopped inside the Conex Box as I attempted to understand why Jack was running around. Oleg took a step and then leaned against what I guess you can call a wall and crossed his arms. Jack looked up and saw us. He paused and then ran over to us as fast as a guy whose lungs are 50% weed can. He panted and sweat from that small job and all I could do was sigh.
“What the hell is going on?” I wheezed out, my ribs still feeling like they were going to jump out of my body.
“Rebecca…awake,” he pointed to the door where she had been staying as we had attempted to get memory back between putting her to sleep.
I looked to the room where The Doc stood outside looking through a small window we had made with bulletproof glass. He turned to me and nodded, “she is awake and has made a few comments.”
I started walking.
The Doc put his hand up.
I stopped and raised my eyebrow in surprise, “what’s the problem?”
“Don’t think she wants to see you.”
Yep…real freaking great.
I hadn’t even gotten my ass kicked by Tyler Best yet, but this week was just becoming more and more terrible. I am a wrestler that is constantly injured and even if I was suddenly healthy this news wouldn’t be a surprise. I just don’t have those Miracles like I used to.
“Meaning?” I asked as my head slumped and I stared at the dirty floor expecting the worse.
“She is conscious, but I am not sure she is back yet. The only things I have understood so far are not complimentary to you,” the doc responded as he tapped his foot on the floor in an anxious way afraid of how I would take this.
I groaned, “look—just tell me what the hell is going on.”
The Doc looked back into the room and then back to me, “well she is sleeping now but when awake she mentioned you and the words son of a bitch were mentioned numerous times.”
It wasn’t because it was funny to me.
It was because I was not surprised in the least.
I had spent a lot of time trying to get Rebecca Hines back to normal and from my father’s grasp. It was what kept me going after my knee surgery and I had been able to find all the pieces I needed to make it a reality. But it was just a dream until it wasn’t and right now the reality might not be what I wanted but it was a step in the right direction.
Heh…call me a son of a bitch is an actual step in the right direction.
I mean…I suppose I was…am? Yea, I guess I am still a son of bitch even when I claim I’m not.
I am a son of bitch that failed to win the Icon Title but will do everything is takes broken ribs or not to keep the Tag Titles where they belong.
I stopped laughing and nodded back at the doc slowly in hopes that it didn’t hurt my ribs. “That was emotional and not something a robot would say so I think it is working.”
“Even if she hates you?”
Jack suddenly butted into the conversation, “she doesn’t hate him, mon.”
“It doesn’t matter, Jack. I knew damn well that nothing would go how I wanted. She has every right to be mad at me, to be disgusted of me, or even hate me. I never treated her like she should have been treated when she worked for me. I was a different person then though…literally. I will do what it takes to fix what I can.”
Jack and The Doc both nodded back to me, and I walked over and looked through the makeshift window at Rebecca. She looked the same, but I knew this was someone fighting to be herself again. I know from experience that it is hard and the wave of memories that can wash over you is intense and can leave you suffocating. Instead, I am suffocating because my ribs make it hard to breath but as I looked at Rebecca, I knew it couldn’t be all about me anymore.
Wrestling is my escape though and that will be where I will have to be as selfish as possible.
“Let me know when she is awake again, I want to see her tell me off to my face.”
The Board really has nothing better to do then try to troll us.
Joe Bergman saddled with Darin Zion is as funny as it is pathetic. We may make some comments towards Joe about having to show Xander how to wrestle to now getting midnight texts from that try hard Darin Zion. It doesn’t mean we don’t care; we just find it amusing.
Better you then me, buddy.
Darin Zion, what is there to say that hasn’t been said to you since you first ever joined HOW? Nothing about you ever understands anything someone says. You are not only a pest but now you are a love pest, I don’t think I need to explain how disgusting that sounds.
Nothing has changed since I beat you a few months ago you just changed who you want to impress now. You could suddenly beat Christopher America for the HOW title and I would still want to stay away from you. I don’t know if this is hurting you or if you needed to hear it, but I am here for it right now.
I don’t want to be your friend.
I don’t want to listen to you.
I don’t want to shoot the shit with you.
I don’t even want you to be The Highwaymen’s personal butler.
I want as little to do with you as possible. The only interaction I will forgive is when I am putting my knee through that thick skull of yours. Look…I have tried to be nice these days but there is only so much The Miracle Man can take before he starts pulling his beard hair out.
Yea, I am bald remember?
You are always trying to get that handshake to the detriment to yourself and it is getting tiresome. Joe isn’t going to pat you on your head and say good job. He has more important things to do like help take down The Board. Making Darin Zion feel good about himself is not on anyone’s bingo card because nobody would win in life if they had to compliment him. If I had to spend just five minutes of my day to fake smile and nod at every stupid thing Darion Zion has to say, then you can rest assure I am a loser and ranked lower then Brian Hollywood.
Can we just put those two back together already?
Unfortunately, I am certain that won’t happen so instead Clay Byrd and I have to save Joe Bergman from that annoying parasite. I am sorry, Joe…if we must beat you to get you away from him, we will do it because we have your best interests at heart. The Tag titles are not leaving The Highwaymen and after we save Joe from Zion he will be back as a member of the tag champs.
I don’t think I need to explain my tag team accolades. I am now a three-time Tag Team Champion, and I am in no mood to watch another title leave my grip. Clay and I haven’t spoken much recently but there is truly nothing to say when we look across the ring and see that man-child Darin Zion grinning back at us. It doesn’t take more then a look between us for us to both understand that leaving him bloody and beaten is the only conclusion to work towards.
That is what will happen, Darin. Don’t expect Joe to protect you from us because this isn’t a charity match, and The Highwaymen are not going to take it easy on you. You do not have an invite and there is no golden ticket that could get you into The Highwaymen. I am not going to apologize for saying that because you need to hear this and accept it. Conor Fuse will be back some time to give you a back massage but for now you need to realize you are by yourself and maybe by learning that you can evolve into something more then the joke you currently are.
We will take care of our business with The Board without any outside interference. We don’t need any help especially if that help needs to be protected all the time. This is our business, and these Tag Team Titles are staying with the Boys and then we will move on to more pressing matters.
Nobody is afraid of you, Darin. Joe does not care that he ‘stole’ the pin because without him you would be meandering around being Tyler Bests punching dummy. You— threatening violence on anyone is high comedy as in you would have to be enormously high to take anything you say seriously. That wears off…too bad your cringe never does.
It is infuriating, man. I just don’t understand how you look at yourself in the mirror and nod back at yourself satisfied with what you see.
You ask for advice and never listen.
You promise you learned a lesson and go back to failing the fucking course again.
I have constantly told you that you need to do this for yourself and yet you still run around wishing for other people’s acceptance. Sometimes you need to accept that nobody wants to be your friend and use that for fuel. Instead, you want to know why nobody wants you around.
You are such an annoying zero. Hey, that starts with a Z and is an actual word, lets stick with that you moron.
I just want to feed you bleach and be done with this.
It is a Miracle Cure, give it a shot and get back to me.
Joe Bergman, my man I apologize in advance because if you are inside the ring with me, I will not hesitate. I know you understand this though because you know what it takes to be a champion more then most wrestlers I know. It isn’t personal and when we come to blows it will be fun because allies don’t have to hold back when they are wrestling. At the end of the match, we will be fine because that is what we are all about. We are always about competition and wrestling as hard as possible. I will bleed and you will bleed, and we will both laugh about it afterwards but for one night the titles have to be more important than anything else.
I know I don’t have to tell Clay Byrd twice about that seeing as he almost killed an announcer. Clay is an animal and there is no reason for me to try to control his instincts to destroy everything in his way. I trust him to do his part and I will do my part as one of the greatest tag team wrestlers to drop Zion on his neck until he can no longer move.
Steve Harrison is focused again.
I will do my best to be able to focus on everything I can, but you better believe that on Sunday I will take joy in defeating Darin Zion and getting him away from Joe and The Highwaymen. Lee Best has a sick sense of humor and I look forward to Kostoff finally finishing him off but the best I can do is ruin his plans to try to tear us apart when we retain the Tag Titles and welcome Bergman back into the fold without Zion trying to sneak in behind him.
The Board is on notice, and they have the advantage right now, but I am not ever going to give up with trying to take them down.
Lee Best will soon be dead.
Mike Best will get sick of his son soon and I will do my best to finish him off this time.
This Sunday I am done with you, Darin. I cannot stand having to be around you anymore. After we are done with you, please don’t mention my name again and go as far away as possible. I am through beating you and you coming back as the same damn wrestler without learning a damn thing. Saying words with a Z isn’t it, buddy.
The Tag Titles belong to me…they always have.
They are not going anywhere.
The Miracle Man will prove his greatness once again.
Pray, I leave you breathing.