I Like My Gym Shorts

I Like My Gym Shorts

Posted on April 17, 2023 at 6:38 pm by Scott Stevens

The first post won’t be necessary.

Hey Lee, you better check Grammarly for plagiarism because he said the exact same thing when he faced Xander Azula.

But is that breaking the Fourth Wall though?

If it is, my bad Lee.

I’ll go back through and repair it. Just need some concrete and bricks.

It’s just Michael just got back and I don’t want him facing a Dan Ryan type of incident and be suspended for six months.

Dang it!

That was breaking the Fourth Wall as well.

Fuck it.

The first post won’t be necessary, right Michael?

So the great Michael Lee Best has come out from the Golden Palace of being the CEO of HOW and graced us with his prescience telling everyone that he’ll appear when HOW needs him.

Needs him?

Mother fucker please.

No one in HOW needs you much especially the team you drafted.

Conor Fuse is a former world champion and constantly in the upper echelon of hierarchy and he did that without your help.

Jace Parker Davidson is a Hall of Famer and a champion multiple time over. He is the forever ICON champion by defeating your son and on pace to break all the LSD records this reign. He was doing this before you decided to come back.

Scottywood is a Hall of Famer and multiple time champion and he did that without your help.

I’ve never needed your help or wanted your help.

So what could you possibly offer us “fearless leader” to secure victory in Mexico City?

You going to take us to the Ten-X and have us run sprints and laps around the gym?

Are you going to put on some 97 Red colored short shorts and buy a whistle and clipboard from Dick’s sporting goods and “coach” us like a former Varsity football captain that peaked in peaked in high school. Hell, I think your old man has a letterman jacket with your name on it.

You going to give us a pep talk about doing our best and to never give up?

Which is ironic because you’ve quit HOW many of times when the company needed a leader…..correction a guiding light to lead us during dark and troubled times, but like a certain Sponge Bob meme you decided that you were good and you wanted to head out. You can spew that bullshit to the noobs like Marvolo and Charles De Lacy, but the people that have been around long enough fucking no better.

So why are you really here Mike?

Is it because Christopher America beat your record for holding the world title?

Is it because he won a third War Games?

Are you back just to fuck with people by using the captain’s advantage to award yourself 97 Red without lifting a fucking finger?

Whatever your motivation is for returning you can take it and shove it up your ass because unless you are actively competing in the match with us you offer no significance other than being a glorified cheerleader and the guy who takes credit for when Jace, Conor, Scotty, and myself when War Games.

The only reason you’re back waving the banner for HOW is because your bestie westie, Cecilworth Farthington, spoiled your contract negotiations when he appeared in PRIME for Culture Shock and almost won their little battle royal your son eventually won.

The thing I want to know is Mike, was the announcement of Farthington returning so rock hard that you had to make a call in to Lindsay Troy and tell her you’re switching gears and not coming to McKenna Blue Wrestling after all?

I’ll let the marks decipher that cryptic message.

I saw your little message on Chaos basically answering the questions I have been posting, but anyone that knows you knows that you don’t do things out of the goodness of your black heart. You do things to benefit you and you alone.

You fuck me over or get in my way from taking the heart and soul from the Final Alliance and I’ll make you wish it was you that died instead of Max.

And I’m afraid I have some more bad news for Michael and that is this Sunday on Chaos in a HOFC fight I’m going to leave you beaten, battered and bruised and it isn’t 2016.

How’s that for a motivational speech, eh coach?

Fuck off and get fucked.