The feedback from his wife and close frie- okay he doesn’t really have any of those. BUT he did tell Elijah Carlson he was going to wrestle in a tournament …. and Elijah laughed at him. You see Elijah Carlson is a name and has been for the last five years in the industry and the only reason they’re friends is because their wives get along. Nonetheless, Hudson asked for advice and as he looks down at his phone,while thumb quickly taps and drags the screen up and down, his face expression grows perplexed.
“What the fuck does he mean curl into a ball and pray?”
You remember that bitter beer face guy? Hudson’s annoyed and confused expression right now is equally as obnoxious.
“What a cunt. This guy is such a cunt”, he mumbled to himself, “VIOLETTT”
Like a spoiled child summoning his mother, he calls out for his wife as she walks into the room with an eyebrow raised.
“You haven’t taken that tone with me since the fed ex guy didn’t recognize you”, she bites her lip to hold back a giggle, “What’s wrong?”
His eyes narrowed, he saw that.
“You know how you and Gen get along?” Violet nods, “and how you told me to try and be friends with Eli?” She nods again as he continues, “well I asked him for advice on my match?”
Violet perks up, finally he had listened. But her optimism disappears as she sees what Eli replied with.
“Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do if a bear attacks?”, she’s just trying to take his blood pressure from ‘muscle car piston’ to ‘bike chain’.
“That’s beside the point. I leave for this place in a couple days and I haven’t really trained at all.”
Violet turns to the camera, breaking the fourth wall and swipes her fingers across her throat trying to get them to edit that out.
“Do what you always do then, honey”, she’s trying anything at this point.
He looks up from slamming clothes into his luggage on their bed with his eyes narrowed and neck extended. What he always does?
“When you get in there to wrestle him just… you know…wing it”, she couldn’t help herself. Byrd. Wing. Get it?
“I’m just going to cheat. It’s what I do be-“, she’s looking at him with her hand cocked back ready to throw her phone, “… you know what I mean.”
“Everything I’ve done I’ve been successful at. This guy is named after something you shoot out of the fucking sky for sport. So that’s what I’m going to do.”
“I don’t think they let guns in the ring, dear”, more jokes. She is full of them.
“No, I’m serious. I watched the last show. His match was one wardrobe malfunction away from being a Lemon Party. He’s just another old guy looking for glory and hoping to make enough news that his lonely merch table doesn’t end up as a meme on the internet.”
He closes his luggage and zips it up.
“He probably begged to get into this tournament, Vi. I was asked to come here. My presence was requested for a reason. They needed to spice things up a bit and make it interesting; make it entertaining. I’ve watched enough videos of orderlies at nursing homes finishing the job god refused to do with a pillow and this match will be no different. I have youth and gigabrain tactics on my side. He has a clothesline and his AARP card.”
See that’s all he needed, a little encouragement from his spouse. A pre-game pep talk. She walks over to him and places a kiss on his cheek.
“That’s the spirit, besides you’ve taken plenty of tae-bo classes with me just remember to punch, slide, kick, slide. It can’t be any harder than that.”
He looks over at her, wondering if she’s being serious or not considering her joking behavior before shrugging it off.
“As stupid as that sounds it’s still better than laying in the fetal position.”
Another text comes in and Hudson throws his phone.
“What did he say now?”, Violet walks over and picks the phone back up before laughing to herself.
“He told me to find the golf course Michael Jordan did on space jam and hope he left some of his secret stuff”
“The tae-bo strategy doesn’t seem so stupid now does it?”
“I think I’ll stick with just beating his ass like Father Time has.”