Happy birthday to me!!

 

There’s the ID the ego and the superego. The I’d is the impulse, the ID is the sex drive, the fight, the side that just does what it needs to. The ego is the in-between and then the superego the moral compass. 

 

Sometimes some people let the moral compass take control for far too long. They let that little voice control every action to where they become a dried-up prune. Every once in a while it’s best to give in to that animalistic urge. Especially in this world, that inner animal that wants to rip someone’s head off. Because when you’ve been Miss Morality for years never letting the true primal instinct take over it has repercussions. Always turning the other cheek ends up with both cheeks sore. We always try to be the best image of ourselves that we want people to see and hide the broken parts, the parts that other people would judge perfectly crafting an persona that is custom-made and tailored for everyone’s approval. We get so lost in it that we soon forget who we have been this entire time and have taken on that fake persona to be our own. Every once in a while we need reminders of just who we are.

 

_____________________

 

Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Sometimes you have to teach people a lesson. Some people learn the hard way. Yes, I’m talking about her, the Queen of Wokeness, the annoyance of HOW No, I’m not Scottywood, I acted like him and showed how much of a loser he is and how much he brought her down. But her compassion and love for her friends gag me with the fucking spoon. It was a teachable moment and she learned from it, at least I hope to hell she learned. Oh my God if she didn’t fucking learn, I’m going to end her myself. Who am I? What gives me the right? I’m the bitch she has kept in the closet all these years. I am Who she really is, her true self. This charade that she has put on as a caring, compassionate blah blah… it’s never been who she is, but she has denied me so much that she left me no other choice!

 

There have been no other options because she has not been herself. And I was hoping Loserwood, would be her wake-up call. Her ah-ha moment if you will. But no, someone went and had plastic surgery or came out of hell or whatever the hell before I was done teaching her a lesson. The only person you can depend on is yourself; these “friendships” and buddies and extended acquaintances she is made have done nothing for her career. Because she wasn’t playing the game with me. The passion that drives the will to kick somebody in the dick and laugh in their face. That spark of who the hell she was has been dormant upon this return. Yeah, she can talk a great game but until you let me out nothing’s going to change. So I took matters into my own hands where she can’t keep refusing me and she has to accept the bitch is back.

 

________________

 

I have spent years trying to atone for my past. Over a decade trying to prove that I am not a horrible selfish bitch who drove people out of wrestling.

 

But that’s just it isn’t it? Spending so much time attempting to set an image, repair an image that never needed to be repaired.

 

I was young and brash and I didn’t care about the consequences. I didn’t care who I hurt or what it cost as long as I got my way.

 

Things were way more fun back then. You’ve got the personality of a yoga mom. Who the hell wants that in wrestling?

 

I think I’m unique. Educating toxic men. Giving women co-

 

Oh my God, enough already! Nobody here gives two shits about that! Like seriously do you even know your audience? Or have you been so wrapped up in your own crap trying to atone for whatever you think you did wrong? You did nothing wrong! Everyone else would have done it if they had the brains to do it. But nobody had the balls big enough to do it that’s why no one else has ever done it but you. So let’s quit on that, cause wargames is coming up and this is a qualifier match, now if we can get on the same page. 

 

Wait, you actually think I’m going to work with you? You just wrecked my wrestling career for months?!

 

You’ve been doing that on your own before I came and helped. 

 

Rude. 

 

Well if you didn’t think you needed these “friendships.” This was to show you that loser friends make you a loser. Loserwood and gamer loser, Conor is player two in this game. Thank God he’s out of the picture for now.

 

 Wait what? 

 

Yeah, America kind of took him out and I don’t mean to have dinner.

 

 Oh my God, I got to get a hold of him. I have to check–

 

No, you still haven’t learned anything! This is me putting you to rest. You can take a back seat. I’m in control now, I’ve got it, you’re no longer needed. Best of luck in your future endeavors.

 

 You can’t just get rid of me!

 

  I’m taking control back of our life, you’ve made it a mess.  I give in to what you actually want. I’m that edge you’ve been missing. And I’ve also made sure I’ve gotten our itches scratched too. 

 

What?

 

 Laid, I’ve gotten us laid!

 

 Ew! We really don’t need to be doing that…

 

 But it’s so much fun and a stress reliever. You’re way too tense and you’re moving stiffly in the ring. 

 

This is … I’m not okay with this. 

 

When did you become such a sexually repressed prude? You have two kids you conceived the fun way; and then the one was that hand job from hell. There’s nothing wrong with it. Instead, you marry idiots.

 

I’m sorry I believe in love and I have had relationships with men I’ve worked with which led to my amazing kids. They make me, me.

 

Please the real you is the one who was okay with giving up your kids. You knew back then your career wouldn’t be as far as it was. You could never achieve the levels you were at if you had to worry about some snot-nosed brats. Yes, we love them. We love our children but they’re bad for the image. The dog made more sense, we’re far too selfish to actually be a mom. Yes, we see our daughter, but with all the careers and things were doing we should be more focused on that

 

I… that’s horrible. I have changed. I am happy being a mom. I love my kids. I’m not a selfish person.

 

But you are… 

 

_________________

 

March 22nd 

 

We see the gateway arch of Downtown St Louis from a hotel room. The view pans back showing a table with a half-eaten slice of birthday cake left on the plate with two forks. Bobbinette walks out of the bathroom in a black silk bathrobe that goes to her knee. Her long black hair is down around her shoulders and she stretches adjusting her robe. She stands in her presidential suite room enjoying the room as the sound of running water behind her turns on. She walks over to the sliding glass doors leading to the balcony of the hotel room. The sun shines down on her face as she smiles. 

 

Bobbinette: Happy birthday to me.

 

She says under her breath. She turns and looks at herself through the glass window. She ignores the reflection desperately trying to get her attention.

 

Bobbinette: What’s that? I can’t hear you anymore.

 

She says laughing.

 

Bobbinette: Just enjoy the ride. This is how we should have been doing it. You’ve locked me away and what happens? This is what you really wanted? You’ve become a doormat and a joke.

 

Shaking her head, and clicking her tongue at herself in disappointment.

 

Bobbinette: Your fake suburban existence is not who you’ve ever been. What do you have to show for it? A losing record to people who can’t even hold your jockstrap! These people are beneath you and you have lost to minor-league players. Where is the B list QOE, that you’ve always been?

 

The reflection mouths words at her but nothing is heard. She ignores it looking at her hair running her fingers through it and pulling at the knots gingerly.

 

Bobbinette: But at least I have a way to redeem us. Brian Hollywood. Now that I don’t have to fake being Loserwood anymore we can get to work. I can be myself, I refuse to allow your weakness to hold us back anymore.

 

The reflection doesn’t speak but looks solemnly back at her.

 

Bobbinette: You honestly thought that our mind is so weak that a loser could control you? You’ve slipped further away than I ever imagined. But it’s okay I’m fixing that now. Your emotions were a weakness and your friendships made you pathetic. I’m here to rectify all the screw-ups you did this past year. We don’t need to be a wargames Captain to win the match. I just need an in and that’s all I need. And you will remain hidden until after I do it. Brian Hollywood is beneath you and always has been. Yes, I know everyone just “don’t sleep on him.”

 

She rolls her eyes, swatting the statement away like a pest.

 

Bobbinette: So Cliche, give me a fucking break! The ruthless Queen, the true Queen, the one who you haven’t let out in years knows exactly what Hollywood is. He’s a dime a dozen and he’s standing in my way. That’s where it makes it more of a problem. All the stuff you’ve done this past year I will ignore because it wasn’t me.

 

She walks closer to the reflection and looks at the black eyes still fading around her nose where it was bloodied from the attack.

 

Bobbinette: I know that attack was to try to weaken me and then STRonk decided to stand there and get between it? Oh, I will handle him at a later time. I haven’t forgotten what he’s done either. His bitch ass needs to atone for what he did. Conor should have killed him. And a real man would have.

 

She shrugs indifferently.

 

Bobbinette: You know, that’s one thing Lee Best has been right about, these weak ass bitches. Bitch used to mean something, but you see these weak men, these fragile men who are so quick to tears and group hugs and buddycations. What happened to the time of ruthlessness? What happened to the time when you would stab your best friend in the back if it meant getting ahead? But now everybody wants to be friends, fuck a friendship. A friendship won’t get you gold, a friendship won’t have you win wargames, it’s alliances, it’s about doing what is best for yourself. But the problem is everyone wants to play the game but no one wants to pull the trigger when they need to. But I will.

 

She points her finger like a gun at the skyline and fires it. She blows on the tip of her finger like a smoking gun. She nods her head in approval.

 

 Bobbinette: I don’t care what team I get on. 

 

She turns around and looks at her right reflection, her index finger pointing accusingly.

 

Bobbinette: Last year they were afraid of you betraying them. It’s laughable you’re such a “good friend”, but they won’t have to worry about that this year. You didn’t even make it there. That’s the pathetic part. I hope the patheticness dies with your memory of you. You’re locked in our minds. You can see everything but you won’t be able to interfere. You’re not fit to be a HOW Hall of Famer and honestly if I had it my way you wouldn’t have woken up when that car went off the pier. I’m not saying he was right for what he did… but you’ve been a plague on wrestling and the rest of the world. Whereas I am the power and always have been.

 

The reflection’s eyes water as Bobbinette laughs, dabbing her own eyes.

 

Bobbinette: There’s that weakness that I talk about. If they can’t handle me at this level they didn’t deserve it anyway. Brian Hollywood thinks he’s been dealing with the sniveling whiny you that he’s had to see across the screen, couples counseling, mourning a friend, trying to hook up with that giant Droid head it’s been one misstep after another. But now that I’m back in control like a true Queen it’ll be off with their heads. The first will be Brian Hollywood. He’s the start to regaining the throne. Beating him gets us to Wargames.

 

Her hand balls into a fist in front of her.

 

Bobbinette: My birthday wish is to make people stand and remember who the hell I am. If that means ripping someone’s dick off and shoving it down their throats… it’s HOW, we’ve done worse.

 

She says with a chuckle. The bathroom door opens as steam pours out.

 

Male Voice: Nettie?

 

She tilts her head to the side, raising an eyebrow.

 

Bobbinette: Coming, handsome!

 

She licks her lips and adjusts her hair.

 

Male voice: Not yet.

 

Bobbinette: Oh, you’re bad.

 

She says with a giggle walking towards the bathroom.

 

Bobbinette: I was just checking my phone. I’ve got to get ready for work after this. But we will celebrate the rest of the week.

 

Male voice: With you, it’s always a celebration.

 

Bobbinette: Aww you, charmer. Flattery will get you everywhere.

 

She says walking into the steam-filled bathroom and closing the door behind her leaving her guest out of view.