Guaranteed

Guaranteed

Posted on July 15, 2020 at 2:20 pm by Perfection

I suspect you want something inspirational here?

Right?

Something about what I learned? How I’ve grown?

The only thing I’ve learned is not to take Dan Ryan’s talents for granted; even if he forgets his age. The only growth I’ve had in this cesspool is to not try and play a game of violence with a man like Minister who has mastered that very game. That the price of posture at times is greater than the reward.

But that wouldn’t satisfy you.

That wouldn’t give you an impression of ‘Yours Truly’ being humble.

Because I’m not humble and I don’t care for your satisfactions.

Maybe you want me to start this all off with some lame story and how I’ve overcome some obstacle in my personal life? I mean, everyone loves story telling, don’t they? Hell, we can take the entire High Octane production team through a recreation of that one time ‘Yours Truly’ had a life problem and “by-golly I was so determined to just get over that hump!”

Yeah, you can fuck off with that shit, Ungratefuls.

I don’t give a single iota of a shit about what you want and I plan to continue to do things my way going forward despite the supposed “consequences” from the likes of you. I tried to play the game with you. I went outside my norms and ventured down paths I never thought possible. I tried to become like the rest of these cats around just here for you.

Bled.

Cared.

Attempted to gain some of your respect.  Even if I only did it for a minute-  that’s all it took to see it didn’t matter what ‘Yours Truly’ did. It didn’t matter if I went the way of “the lost” like many around here at High Octane have.

You just don’t like me.

And that’s why you’re fucking Ungratefuls.

You have talent unlike any ever seen in front of your dopey, astigmatism riddled eyes and you squander it for cheap shit! Your Bergman’s, the eGG Bandits, the Solex’s; some of you even like my opponent Hughie Freeman. You’re confused and I tried for a second there to entertain you.

Well- fuck you.

Like I said. I forgot who I am; what this is, what I’m trying to accomplish. Oh, and none of it- not a single bit, involves making you happy. It involves grabbing your easily gotten attention through the thing I do best- wrestling. Need I remind each and every one of you dense headed morons that I don’t do this for you, I do this for me.

Do you know why?

Partially because I find joy in annoying the fuck out you, Ungratefuls, and at the end of the day I know you’ll keep coming back for more. I can insult you inbred, low-information, losers and you end up buying more merchandise. It’s truly a case study in stupidity- and right there; in our short  moments of this

24K is easily close to selling out of merchandise and you better get what’s left with the discount code “HBCMP20” on check out.

What I can tell you unequivocally is, no one else in the industry can compete with what we do- no one.

Doubt me?

Look at what High Octane had to put out just to compete with 24K’s independent merchandising operation. They had to create HOAX. Low energy, low quality, and probably foreign made trash!

And you know what? Even if the piss-poor designers at HOAX decided to produce 24K shirts with our trademark blessing, you Ungratefuls would still buy direct from ‘Yours Truly’ and from 24K- GUARANTEED!

What I’m trying to get you dopes to understand is pretty damn simple. Follow me-

Maybe, just maybe- I take pride in knowing my name can’t stay out of your mouths even when you aren’t watching High Octane. Not many can garner that type of star power like ‘Yours Truly’. In fact, I can name only four others off the top of my head: Mikey Unlikely, Jesse Kendrix, Andy Murray, and Claude Baptiste Ranier.

Believe it.

I know as you’re reading, listening online via the 24K VIP app; whatever means you’re absorbing this truth… BEFORE any of it- you were just discussing ‘Yours Truly’ or even 24K. I bet you’re even typing BIG angry words to your buddy about how Perfection called you idiots at this moment.

Which is expected.

Because like my first point about garnering attention it’s also true- accept it.

I’d even wager it’s not just ‘Yours Truly’ you get mad at either. It’s anyone in 24K who disrupts your silly senses of perceived reality, Ungratefuls.

Hell, you could be sitting at home in your tighty-whities, playing kiddie computer games with your buddies. You could be shooting the shit on any of the many wonders life has to offer. Instead of that- instead of, I don’t know, living your best life; my name exits your mouths.

Hey, you know what?

More power to you, Ungratefuls.

I shouldn’t judge. High Octane might very well be your best life, your only life. In fact, keep shouting my name! Fucking SCREAM it like the town crier in the village square. The more my name is spewed out, the more name ID 24K gets, and the more dollars we earn.

Bet.

So, thank you from the bottom of my heart. If it wasn’t for you Ungratefuls saying my name on command all over the internet, podcasts, forums, wherever, I would be in a world where my legal situation would be far worse. Please, keep up the great effort even if your woman, if you even have one, is standing there disappointed by your actions.

I know Marshall Owens, the rest of 24K, staff and I surely aren’t disappointed.

Since I brought it up actually, disappointment seems to be a fucking diesase around these parts. Almost as contagious as Lindsay’s coochie critters; and who wouldn’t be disappointed? I mean by the state of the company, not the slop Mike is deciding to trough.

I can understand the reasons why you plebs have such feelings- honestly! Disappointment that the Bruvs or  Big Bad Murr aren’t headlining No Remorse. Disappointment in Section 214 dropping the ball and tucking their tail. Disappointment 24K hasn’t released a new product in two whole weeks.

Relax- it’s in production.

And of course there’s surely disappointment about ‘Yours Truly’ not winning the High Octane World Championship! I’ve heard that was the ultimate disappointment by the majority of viewers. That’s what I’m told anyways; and for those of you that were or still are disappointed- I’m not sorry.

I’m not.

I’m not sorry because, luckily for you, Ungratefuls, you have 24K to keep your asses engaged. The Hollywood Bruvs still reign supreme! Andy Murray remains your champion! Claude Baptiste Rainer decided to indulge you with his presence- and you’re still enamored with… Perfection.

Eat. It. Up. Scumbags.

But to the point of our discussion. This wasn’t meant to be geared towards you, Ungratefuls, but our Hughie Freeman.

Do you want to know what I’m disappointed about, mate? This right here, Hughie.

This match.

Let me be as clear as I possibly can- It takes a lot to disappoint ‘Yours Truly’. I wasn’t even disappointed when the Bruvs lost my half of the High Octane Tag Team Championship.

Honestly, I wasn’t.

It was what it was, “oh well”. This though? This “Gen Pop” match?

Flat out disappointment.  It’s not even that you’re not a worthy opponent, Hughie. I don’t know how many times I have to say this or how many times I’ve been ignored.

PERFECTION
DOESN’T
DO
GIMMICK
MATCHES

Are we clear on this yet, guys? Flying out to Alcatraz is pure disappointment. It’s a shithole much like San Francisco! Wrestling you, Hughie? Instead of resting this neck? Also a disappointment!

BUT!

I’ll be happy to indulge in this match with you, my lad. Even if the doctors advise against it. That’s how badly I want this goddamn win. To be honest, Hughie, the only thing I know about you genuinely is that you were Scott Woodson’s biggest regret.

I’ll actually do you one better.

The only reason you were part of HATE is because of ‘Yours Truly’ and 24K. Rough I know, go ask the guards for a Carlsberg and a shot of your Tesco brand shit booze so you can absorb that.

I put you into the mediocre shadow of Scott Woodson and frankly because of that it’s allowed you to have somewhat of an existence in this company.

PERIOD.
FULL STOP.

 “How?” you scream internally as an idiotic retort. Simple, Hughie- after we, 24K, laid down boots to Woodson at March to Glory.

Without that incident Scott doesn’t go out and pull in Lucian and he sure as hell doesn’t bring in you, bud. ‘Yours Truly’ and 24K gave you your own little chance to be a spec in a sea of superstars.

You’re goddamn welcome, kid.

With that in mind, knowing that you’re somewhat my own weird creation; I’ll be happy to waste my precious goddamn time in California doing what Scott Woodson should have done months ago. I’ll be more than happy to put you out of your misery here in High Octane. It seems I’ve been doing more work around here than the actual operations officer of this company!

Hey, Scott, you’re welcome too, guy!

As far as you go, Hughie, pretty sure you owe me four percent of your earnings. Pretty fair fee.

I got you in.

I got you over.

Now I’m going to give you time to shine, briefly of course, but just enough of it that people will actually remember you, Hughie. They’ll say “hey, wasn’t that the guy who got his ass beat inside that historical penitentiary by Perfection?” and they would be correct. You will be that guy.

Not because I am a better wrestler. Which I am.

Not because I’m smarter and classier than you are. Which is undeniable.

It’s not even because you’re a fighter and I’m a technical goddamn mastermind.

It’s because I care about a Gen Pop Match, Hughie, as much as I care about you- zero. Zero cares whatsoever.

The only thing I care about, that motivates me to get on that plane to San Fransico, is the chance to beat your stupid transient face into the goddamn canvass . My only goal is to send you back into your caravan and packing to Europe’s own version of a third world country known as Ireland.

And before you even try to attempt it, I’m sure you want to pop off from the mouth and ridicule ‘Yours Truly’ for being one of only eight stars on this roster to wrestle for three of the biggest belts in this industry. Yet the second to be eliminated.

As though that would hurt my feelings.

The way I see it- I was there with the best in the world at March to Glory.

Unlike you-  who was where, Hughie? Let me remind the Ungratefuls as they have the attention of a chimp- you were in a dingy defunct penitentiary. You didn’t even make it far enough to qualify, let alone have an opportunity to be eliminated in a title match. Hell, did you even get an opportunity to be qualified?!

I can’t recall because I was too damn focused on trying to win an ICON Championship match. Too busy strategizing on how to beat Dan Ryan and focusing on War Games that it probably slipped my mind. Regardless if you did or didn’t, now you’re here. You get to wrestle with ‘Yours Truly’.

Either this is your big break, kid, or this is my big fall.

And I’m not sure yet which one it is but if it’s the latter I’m sure as hell not going to let this tumble end by your unwashed hands. That I can promise you, Hughie.

I don’t even know who’s idea this is. I hope it was yours. I hope to God you called Lee Best and said “I want to fight Perfection in a Gen Pop match!”. Shoot, part of me thinks you may have done it because you’re overconfident about your win over Steve Solex –

Hey!

I’m not going to take that away from you, my lad. You knocked him out clean, swept up the pieces that remained of Solex, and dumped him into the trash.

But…

I, yes ME ALONE, fucking broke him, Hughie. ‘Yours Truly’ took the only opportunity Solex could possibly squander to make his name mean something again at War Games and ran away with it at Lethal Lottery.

I broke him.

I turned him into the shell that let you get that knock out.

Again, you’re welcome for your first Gen Pop Match victory, Hughie and I did it pro-bono.

That means for free, you muddled moron.

Sad to tell you this though. There isn’t a real world where there’s a consecutive Gen Pop victory for you, pal. Not as long as my name sits as your opponent. I’m not Pumpkin Head Santangel and I’m sure as fuck not Steve Solex.

Hell, Lee Best probably regrets giving 49% of this company to Woodson simply based on that decision to bring you on. I know I would. What is it with you?

You’re a gypsy, you’re a fighter, you’re a member of HATE, you’re not with HATE, you’re being investigated by police, you’re now in custody of HATE- you’re more confused than Bruce Jenner figuring out which dress to wear.

Whatever. You want to wrestle with me in a prison, so be it. Listen, I don’t have a choice in this- you do though, Hughie. You can sit in that cell and not come out. I know you won’t. You’re a fighter.

Heh.

Like that means anything. I’m a fighter. The nerd in the third row is a fighter when there’s only one slice of pizza left at concessions.

So what? Anyone can be a fighter. Can you be a winner though? Especially when your opponent is starving to win?

Doubt it.

All I have left to say to you is to bring all the HATE guards, scream “fish”, “I love fish”, or whatever shit you’d like. None of that is going to stop the inevitable; you’re not ending the night with a win. Especially not off me you Culture Club reject and Snatch wannabe.

Here’s what will happen in case you tuned out to go wax your knob.

I’m going to fly to San Francisco.

You’re going to do your stupid weird shit.

And I’m going to proceed to try and find what little of your brain exists behind your thick fucking skull.

That my friend. That’s gonna be the legacy of the Gen Pop Match.

GUARANTEED