I’m not happy.
And depending on who you ask, I am never happy.
I’m quite livid. Why you ask? That’s simple, I’m not happy that I lost to Rhys Townsend on Chaos last week. I’m not happy that a fat ass, taco eating, stoner has a win over me in 2023. I’m not happy that Rhys Townsend has a slither of credibility to say he deserves a shot at the HOW World Championship belt after a fucking month into his return.
But I should be happy, right?
STRONK! retained his HOW World Championship belt against Dan Ryan. I should be ecstatic over the fact that the night ended with me planting the head of a sledgehammer down onto the head and neck of Godson. That the so-called undefeatable man laid at my fight and there I was holding the HOW World Championship belt.
For the first time in eight years, the HOW Championship belt was in my hands in the middle of the ring.
Yet, it just left a bitter taste in my mouth.
Like bile from a weekend-long bender. I held the one thing that had eluded me since I returned in 2021; the only thing I could say that was not mine.
Yes, I put down STRONK! momentarily. Yes, I held the most prized possession in this sport in the palm of my hand. But it wasn’t my name on the gold plate. It wasn’t mine to take home with me. I couldn’t officially call myself the HOW World Champion. I’m not delusional like Xander Azula. Having to drop that belt back down on Godson’s body is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in this business.
I don’t expect you to understand that.
Yes, I am talking to the three of you. Raziel Reynolds, Scott McKlayn, and Alexandria Reynolds.
The trio that is still wet behind the ears here in HOW. A certain amount of respect is due that the three of you decided to give HOW a shot after seeing the kind of things that happen in this company. However, it’s more than apparent that you’re both green as the product Rhys Townsend smokes in regards to High Octane Wrestling.
It takes more than proclamations, determination, and belief in your ability to make it here. If that were the case Darin Zion would have at least one HOW World Championship reign under his belt.
This week can be a lesson on how to survive in this company or it can be a reason to take your ball and go home. You’re going to get your asses kicked either way on Sunday night. The choice is yours on whether you take the lessons given in the ring or just head for the nearest exit, never to be seen again in the big leagues.
How many of you have one foot out the door already?
I haven’t seen a segment from any of you in a few weeks. Or if there has been one, it hasn’t been memorable enough for me to remember it.
I won’t dump on you the entire time, though.
McKlayn seems like a man that has the potential to be a HOW lifer. Seems like the most dangerous of you and had a good showing in the HOTv Championship match he had a few weeks back.
And he’s sleeping with Alexandria.
Tell me, Raziel. What is your purpose in this trio? Your friend has proven to be better than you so far in this HOW run. Your sister would rather get mustache rides from him than help you ‘maximize your potential’ inside the ring.
Travel must be awkward as fuck for you, huh bud?
Sitting there on a plane to Argentina trying to focus, rest, or even talk match strategy. But your sister and partner are off in the bathroom joining the mile-high club. It’s like you know more about Alexandria’s orgasm noises through thin motel walls than you do about winning matches.
Your existence seems miserable.
You were named Raziel by your parents. So, you were down in the count before taking your first step. Someone backstage referred to you as Diet Coke Tyler Best. Honestly, I think that’s an insult to Diet Coke and Tyler Best.
Sure, the guy is a bit of a psychopath. And his father is a gaping asshole, but come on. Calling you Diet Coke Tyler Best would be like calling Xander Azula Diet Coke Max Kael. I can still say that name in HOW, right?
Either way, I’m sure you all are looking at this match and thinking. The man that is going to Main Event 97 Red. A HOW Hall of Famer and a man rightfully on the Mt. Rushmore of HOW talent. You see this as the chance you’ve been waiting for. You see this as the open door to give yourselves credibility in this company.
A chance to skyrocket up the rankings.
So, go on, and talk about how I lost to Rhys Townsend. Proclaim about how you’re going to do what everyone deems to be impossible for you.
That is something that matters.
I also know that I’m not alone in this match. And yes, Raziel, I’m disappointed too about the fat lady wrestler that I’ve gotten saddled with yet again. I’m irritated that I decided to give my biological father a chance and he used it to pork ‘Woke when it’s about me’ Miss Piggy. We’re not exactly what you would call a united force.
But there are some things in our favor. The fact that we’re both Hall of Famers. We’ve both been to the top of the mountain here in HOW. We know what it takes to keep our heads above water here in this company.
You both think you’re good enough to do it but your records say otherwise. Can you turn it around? Sure, well, McKlayn can turn it around I believe. I just don’t see you being HOW material, Raz. Losing a match to Carey isn’t something that most HOW wrestlers do. I know if it’s a lack of focus, talent, motivation, or all of the above. But you’re like the hyper kid brother that they keep around and let mouth off because you’ve run out of Ritalin refills.
You’re the one they let believe that they are in the game. That they are essential to the plan, but the reality is, Raziel. Your controller has been unplugged the entire time. You’re just staring at the screen, mashing buttons, while thinking you’re doing something great.
Until you tag in Scott. Until your sister fakes an injury to distract you from the fact that McKlayn is doing all the heavy lifting. And if by some miracle a victory is obtained? They’ll pat you on the head, tell you how great you were out there. And let you run off and bask in fake glory while they shack up and work on producing your eventual replacement.
It’s pretty sad when the Fedora’s didn’t even want you. But you’re too blind to see that you need some serious work to even be half-decent in HOW.
But you have zero self-awareness. You look up at Scott, you see how much he wants it. You see how much potential he has and you confuse it for your own talent and potential.
And as loyal as you are, Scott. You’re not as dumb as you look. You know it just like everyone else knows it. The only reason you keep Raziel around is because you like that thing that Alexandria does. However, eventually, even that won’t be enough to keep taking a blind eye to the obvious.
This isn’t a quick fix. There isn’t a pep talk that can be spoken that will flip a switch with this human anchor around your neck. You could yell at him, you could train him, or you could push him to his very limits. In the end, you’ll realize it’s much easier to just find a new one than it is to try and fix what cannot be fixed.
So, you have to ask yourself.
Do you have the balls to do the right thing, no matter who gets their feelings hurt? Or will you smile and watch your career aspirations slip away because you allowed someone else to make you drown in mediocrity?
Alvear Icon Hotel
Buenos Aires, Argentina
Friday, July 20th, 2023
With HOW in town, the hotels and other popular places were buzzing. Fans lined up to get a picture or an autograph with their favorite stars. A group of people stood up and rushed over when HOW Hall of Famer Jace Parker Davidson made his way through the lobby. Jace took a moment to sign a few autographs and take some pictures to satisfy the crowd gathered. Once he was able to pull himself away, he exited the hotel but only to find his father Terrence Miles Davidson standing there waiting for him.
“Not again.” Jace sighed and raised his head to the sky.
Terrence had a significant smirk on his face as he stood there proudly with his cane in front of him. “Heading somewhere, son?”
“Actually, yes, I am.” Jace lowered his head and answered. “I’m heading anywhere that you aren’t and I think I’m late for that appointment.”
Terrence frowned a bit and shook his head. “Humor was never really your thing.” He critiqued. “You’re not funny haha, you’re more funny when something bad happens to you. Like on that show, what’s the name of it again?”
“Jackass,” Jace mumbled under his breath.
“That’s the one!” Terrence exclaimed but Jace cut him off.
“No, you don’t get it. I wasn’t answering your question. I was literally calling you a jackass.” He explained. “And since I’ve already wasted more time with you in my air space, I’m going to leave you to do whatever the fuck it is that you do.”
Jace turns to walk away but Terrence calls out to him. “No matter how much you run away, that loss to Rhys Townsend is going to stick to you.”
The Hall of Famer’s body freezes and tenses up. The words crawl under his skin like an infestation. He clenches his jaw and tells himself it’s not worth it. However, his hands balled into fists and the rage that churned in his stomach was louder than reason. He turned around and marched his way over to his father, pointing an index finger in his face.
“I eat a lot of shit over what I choose to do with my life and where I choose to do it.” Jace hissed. “What I am not going to do is eat shit from you of all people. You have done NOTHING as far as professional wrestling or being a parent goes. Just because you’ve attached yourself at the hip with the only thing that’s passable as a woman in HOW doesn’t mean you get to have an opinion.”
Terrence stood there and blinked at his son with a bit of amusement and a slight chuckle that escapes his lips.
“Passable as a woman?” Terrence parroted back the words. “Believe me, son, Nettie is all woman. She is a Goddess among the filth that lines the roster of your company. Maybe if your head wasn’t so far up your ass, you’d see all the things that Miss Carey has to offer.”
“The only thing that Carey has to offer comes with a needed dose of Penicillin.” Jace fired back.
“That’s the best that you’ve got?” Terrence questioned and then spoke in a lower tone. “No wonder Townsend beat you.” It was loud enough for Jace to hear and it causes him to grab a hold of his father by the collar of his shirt. Terrence was unfazed and continued speaking. “You know what I love about Nettie? She’s fierce and passionate. She’s stubborn but caring. She might be a bigger woman but I swear to you. When I first saw her take off her bra I wept like I saw Heav–”
“ENOUGH!” Jace roars and shook his father a bit. “I am teetering on the edge right now and the thing in my head that keeps me from murdering you? It’s not functioning properly right now. So, for your well-being, fuck off. Fuck off as far away that you possibly can and forget that I ever exi–”
“Oh, look! Our ride is here.” Terrence pointed as a long limousine pulled up to the front of the hotel. Jace growled and let go of his father.
“I’m out of here.” The disgust in his voice was evident as he turned to walk away again.
“Regardless of whether you like it or not.” Terrence began as he fixed the collar of his shirt. “You have been paired with Nettie once again this week in a tag team match. Losing against Townsend is one thing but a second loss right before setting into the main event of 97 Red against Mr. Godson? Would be catastrophic.”
Jace once again stopped in his tracks and took a moment to consider the words spoken by his traitorous biological father. Terrence walks over to the back door of the limo and opens it.
“We don’t have all day, son,” Terrence called out before lowering himself into the limo. Jace cursed out loud before turning around to head toward the limousine. He stepped inside and slammed the door shut.
“Hey! Watch it, asshole!” Screamed the person beside Terrence in the limo. “You don’t pay any of my bills to be slamming doors like that.”
Jace cocked his head and looked over at Nettie who was seated on the other side of his father with her face covered.
“Isn’t this nice?” Terrence asked as he sat between his son and his current love interest. “Be polite and say hello, son.” Terrence requested as the limo pulled off.
“You want me to say hello? I can do that, I’ll definitely say hello.” Jace leaned forward a bit to look past Terrence. “Hi, Bob! How the fuck are you doing, Bob?!”
“Excuse you?” Nettie snapped back. “That is not my name and you know it!”
“Be nice.” Terrence lectured but neither wrestler was willing to listen.
“Sure, that is totally your name, BOB!” Jace continued. “I’ve been in HOW with you for years now and even I know Bobbinette Carey when I see her.” Jace paused and nudged Terrence. “Nice call on getting her to cover her face. I would have opted for a helmet though, especially since you’re bumping uglies with that.”
“Boy, I will end you!” Nettie tries to climb over Terrence to get to Jace but elder Davidson tries to stop her. “Don’t think because we have a tag team match this week, that I won’t put hands on you.” Nettie swings her arms at her partner.
“Boy?” Jace leans to the side to avoid Nettie. “Don’t let the fact that you lick some musty gray balls make you think you’ve accomplished something. Surely, don’t let it make you think that I won’t knock your ass back to the Million Man march. You can change your name all your want, I will still stomp your ass into oblivion.”
“You mean like you stomped Rhys? Oh, wait.” Nettie scoffed her face mocking his threat. “What your father and I do as two consenting adults is between us. But he loves everything that my tongue does so… I’m sorry that you’re bothered, son. I understand your need to have a tantrum.” She pats Terrence’s knee with a smirk.
“It’s like losing to Townsend is the only insult the two of you could come up with.” Jace shook his head. “Also, eww. I don’t want to know what your tongue does, EVER.” Jace dry heaved a bit. “I swear if you ever think of calling me boy or son again. I will snatch that towel and the fucking wig over your big ass head and beat you to death with them both.”
Terrence turned to his son and raised his eyebrow. “She calls you son because if I’m being honest, she’s practically your stepmother.”
“Not a wig, quit being racist,” Nettie warns. “You’re wasting an awful lot of energy focusing on me when you should be thinking about this match. Maybe if you listen to Step Mommy we can win this one, child.” Nettie’s got a condescending tone as her fingers dance up Terrence’s leg.
Jace rubs his hand down his face in disbelief. “You could be fucking orange for all I care, you’d still be awful.” He took a couple of deep breaths and then leaned back in his seat. “Don’t even call yourself Step Mommy again. I will set you and everything you own on fire.” Jace continued to take deep breaths and then spoke in a calmer tone. “The last time we teamed together you were the one that took the pin against Townsend. If we both walk into 97 Red with a win then you need to stop acting like you’re the end all be all of anything that all.”
“You played with fire before, be careful kid, you may burn yourself,” Nettie warns as she stares Jace down almost daring him. “That was a cluster fuck and you weren’t exactly the most helpful in the situation. We walk out of Chaos with the win, maybe you will remember I am the be-all and end-all. I am The Queen Bitch and the sun rises and sets on this ass, thank you.”
Jace’s face scrunches in confusion. “What the fuck does that even mean?!” Davidson holds up his hands before either of them can respond. “Nevermind, don’t answer that. The point of the matter is that you need to realize your limitations and get this Scott Stevens mindset out of your head. You’re not exactly lighting the world on fire in the win column, Bob.”
“She didn’t have many wins. I am fixing that column. I have defeated one of the people we are facing this week. Maybe, I have insight? But no, your Daddy issues are clouding your brain.” Nettie said confidently.
“My Daddy issues?!” Jace exclaimed. “Pot and kettle, bitch. And yes, you beat one of our opponents. The weak link of the team. So, congratulations on that but McKlayn seems to be the real deal. He almost became the HOTv Champion. The guy that you’re trying to flex about beating seems like he needs Professional Assassin Brian Hollywood to come to save him and remind him that he’s a wrestler, not a poker player.”
“A win is a win. I get it you’re trying to invalidate me. Children often act out when they see their parents giving others attention and that’s what you’re doing.” Nettie said in a school teacher-like way. “But, we can all be a happy family as long as you realize your father knows best and that’s because he listens to me.”
“What the actual fuck?!” Jace snapped his head to see to stare at them both. “Happy family?! Look, the only reason I’m even in this Limo right now is because Lee Best is petty and decided to book us in this match. There is no we, there is no family, none of that shit.”
“You don’t think I wouldn’t marry Nettie?” Terrence floated the question into the air. Nettie raised an eyebrow not giving an opinion on it.
Jace ground his teeth together at the sheer thought of sharing the same last name with that woman. “You do, whatever fucking floats your goddamn boat. I let you back in my life to do one thing and boy, do I ever regret it.”
“I have done exactly what I said I would do.” Terrence proclaimed. “Your company has been handled and been under my care. You’re the one that decided to put it up for grabs in your match against Mr. Godson. But rest assured, all of the important paperwork has been done.”
Terrence reached out and wrapped his arm around Nettie. “Yeah, okay, whatever you say.” Jace groaned before pointing his finger at Nettie. “What I need you to do, Bob. Make sure you don’t get fucking distracted looking for Shane or with the bitch on the outside of the ring during the match. McKlayn will be a handful if he hasn’t completely lost all motivation. We need to isolate Raziel and just make quick work of the match. In and out and then we can go our separate ways.”
“Or, we win this and you finally start to come around to the notion of this being a good thing for us all.” She kisses Terrence while flipping Jace the bird simultaneously. “If you can overcome the childishness, Jace, this could work.” She stated with a smirk.
“This could work?” Jace sounded like Nettie had lost her mind. “Like I’m going to trust either one of you? I’m one match away from getting a shot at the HOW World Championship belt. I remember very vividly what you did to the last person that trusted you when they had a shot at the belt. As I said before, there is no we in this equation. We do the tag match and go out separate fucking ways. And hopefully, Shane does the entire world a favor at 97 Red.”
The limo comes to a stop as Terrence perks up a bit. “We’re here.” The elder Davidson says before the door is opened. The three of them file out of the vehicle and stand before Almagro Boxing Club.
“Really, boxing?” Jace was skeptical at best.
“It has a ring and you both need to work on your chemistry. Both inside the ring and as a family.” Terrence said while putting his foot down. “Nettie, my dear. You head toward the locker room and change. Son, you take a look around and make yourself useful.”
Terrence took Nettie by the hand and led her into the building. The two made their way to the locker room while Jace aimlessly walked around the boxing club until he finds a scale sitting in a corner. He swallows hard and then takes a step up onto the scale. He closes his eye and waits before looking down at the number displayed.
Two hundred and thirty-four pounds.