Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the Hollywood Report!
This week we are going to be taking an in depth look at the return of one Cecilworthless Farawayington. How long will he be back this time? I don’t think I ever congratulated you on your Hall of Fame induction, but congrats none the less. However, don’t mistaken my kindness, Buttersworth. I plan on tearing you apart piece by fucking piece this weekend. You want a fight? Well, you’re going to get one…but the last thing you want is an amped up Hollywood in that cage. I’m not just amped up, Farthington, I’m angry and I’m looking for a fucking victory. You want to know the coolest thing about HOFC? It’s the fact that there aren’t any rules and I can do whatever I want…it’s also convenient there are no rules because I’ll go about whatever I have to in order to get one.
I’m starving for a win…I don’t think you realize how much. I need to turn my fortune around and it needs to happen quick. I know you said you wouldn’t sleep on me, but that’s just a PR stunt…we all know that’s all it is, Buttersworth. The truth of the matter is you seem pretty convinced I’m going to tap out to you. I’m not going to be tapping this weekend…sorry to disappoint you buddy…it just isn’t in the cards.
What is in the cards is a desperate man looking to claw his way back on the winning track. I’m at a point where I have nothing left to lose and that makes me a dangerous man Buttersworth. It not only makes me dangerous, but I’m furious!
I once again get left behind for War Games. You can only take so much before you finally snap….well this is me fucking snapping! You may think you’re ready for our fight this Saturday, Buttersworth, but I’m beyond ready for our fight. I’m ready to take my frustration out on someone and who better than a former HOW World Champ and Hall of Famer? Oh yea, and Mike Best’s best friend. We can never forget that part.
I’m just a man who wants to be relevant again and I’ll establish that however the fuck I need to if it gets me back in the conversation again. Let’s be honest, I haven’t been apart of any of them lately and all that does is piss me the fuck off. I’m not some afterthought…I’m not someone to just leave in the background and forgotten about. At one point I was the HOW World Fucking Champion and on top…and now I’m just a blank stare and blink in the background of obscurity. I’m done being in that cesspool of shit! No, Farthington, enough is fucking enough!
We all saw how big of a win and surprise erupted last week after a shocking victory. Well, I’m thinking it’s time to have another one this weekend. Lord knows I can fucking use one and I’m going to do my part in order to secure it…even if I have punch you repeatedly until you fucking pass out….or maybe I actually make you tap out instead. Man, imagine the reactions on that one if that happened.
No…truth is I’m going to show up this weekend with the intent on walking out with a victory in the HOFC division. I know I can handle what gets dished out on me..for the love of god, it’s sad how used to it I am. I know I can take the hits and the punishment but this time it’s going to be ME dishing out the punishment. I have so much rage built up inside me I can’t hold onto it anymore. I won’t keep it bottled up anymore. In fact, moving forward, I’m going to start using it as a fucking compass to help steer me in the right direction. You wanted a fight, Buttersworth? You’re going to get just that…but it may not be the fight you were wanting.
This Saturday night will not only be about letting off steam, frustration and rage, but digging down deep to find myself a win…by any means necessary….and I do mean by any means necessary.
I really hope you’re ready for a fight like you say you are, Farawayington, because you’re going to get a lot more than you bargained for. I’m going to fuck you up and I’m going to fuck you up real good Mr. Hall of Famer…