Doze Off

Saturday, 8/1

I yawn as I exit Lee Best’s office. Just on the other side is Doozer, I wonder if Lee’s going to tell him he’s gotta face me next week. Give him a bit of an advantage I guess. Oh, no, probably wants to talk to him about his colorful acronym for the LSD title. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with sucking dick, but it’s probably not best to say that your boss does. Unless like, he’s proud of sucking dick or something…
Granted, through my very limited interactions with Mr. Best, I can see why someone might say something like that. Guy is kind of a dick. Talking about taking his money, resting on my laurels ‘cause I hit a rough patch in the ring. I don’t care about his stupid money. I care about his platform, his stage.
I mean, I’ll keep taking the money because I’d be stupid not to. Money is money. But I’ll donate it to BRAZEN or something, a little extra cash like that can help two young upstarts chase their dream.
Whatever. When all the noise washes away, the only thing left ashore are the victories. I’ve had a limited number in the past year, but…
That’s when she catches my eye. Not sure why, to be honest. Long blondish brown hair, zippers everywhere, bare midriff showing. She doesn’t even see me notice her as she ducks down a corridor. I quickly make haste, as I hear a scuffle behind.
Sounds fun, but eh. I got something else on the ol’ noggin.
I turn around the corner, and she’s gone. I look to my left, nothing. My right, dude in a suit and tie. I look. “Hey, you’re the dude who hates bow ties. Did you see an attractive woman wander by?”
Brian Bare just double takes at me. I know his name, but I won’t tell him that. “I’m… listen, whatever. Just, this makes us even, right?” he asks. I don’t know what he’s talking about.
“Even?”
“For like, whatever.” He doesn’t even want to look me in the eye.
“Sure.”
Bare points down the hall to the right. “She went thataway.”
I pat him on the shoulder and rush, shouting off “WE’RE NOT EVEN!” before ducking around the corner out of his sight. I keep my pace, brisk and jaunty, and then realize this is borderline stalker behavior.
So I stop and just go to my car.

**

Sunday 8/2, 1 am.
I get to the parking lot. I took my sweet time. Kind of forget where the time went to be honest. It’s quiet. Everyone is gone. All that’s left is the overnight security detail and two or three of the ring crew who are packing up the last of the gear.
“Hey! You! Skinny man child.” I shout out to someone carrying way too much for his peony arms. He instantly drops a metal bucket that clatters on the ground. “I need directions.”

**

Sunday 8/3, 7:38 am.
After six hours of Celdweller, three cigarettes and two speeding tickets, I arrive at 7 am in front of the Missouri Valley Wrestling Headquarters. I’m not sure if they have anything going on, but since Big Bergman left the HOW world, it’s been hard to reach out to him. And I haven’t seen MJF since she disappeared herself. Just wanna check on her. I respected Berg. Fighting these tag team friends, havin’ the Bandit’s on the noggin… I gotta check on her. See if she’s still fighting. Least I can do.
So I pound on the front door.
I look around. It’s 7 am. I look at my watch. 7:30 even. Why wouldn’t they be here? My arms are folded across my chest. I mean… I’m here.
I pound on the door again.
“Hello?!” I shout. I hear a few birds chirp back, but otherwise experience silence. “I’m here to wrestle fight!” I think for a moment. “I mean, not now, but like, soon?” I pound on the door again. “C’mon! Let me into your stupid club for cool people. Jerks.”
I plop down. It may take a while.
**
Sunday, 8/3 1:12 pm.
“Hello, Mary-Lynn? I’ve been arrested. Whattya mean you already know? Oh, because of the collect call from message that you accepted. Alright, hear me out, it’s not my fault. I was just doing a little light trespassing. Hardly a crime. They wouldn’t tell me anything about MJF. They just asked me to leave. And I didn’t want to. Can you like, pay my bail or do some lawyer stuff? Thanks!”

**

TUEDAY8?% 302 time
Slots.

**
Wednesday, 8 am.
I went a little manic there. Lost about 10 grand at a casino. Won 2k, then lost another five. Plus my cell phone which is another 1500. Jeez. Way to put a target on our backs technology, all so we can twat on twitter.
At least this lake I’m waking up in front of doesn’t smell like sewage. And I didn’t drown in it. Those are both pluses.
I gotta remember the court date or else I have to do community service, which is just an odd way to frame it. I guess it’s better than punishment acts.
I yawn. I chew the air. The sun’s bright this morning. I shield my eyes. I look for my cell phone instinctively, it’s not there. Oh yeah.
My mouth is so dry I start doing unconscious duck lips.
I’m not ready for today.

I should sleep. Forever.

**

Thursday, 4 pm.
I just ate the largest steak dinner imaginable. I probably just put on twenty pounds. Moved me from light to cruiser.
Got Doozer this weekend. Confirmed for everyone else late Saturday. Confirmed for me about twenty minutes ago when I woke up in my own bed after my first good night’s sleep in a week. That wasn’t even a bad one. It’s just sometimes, I just gotta go do something and if I don’t do it, I start cracking at the core of who I am and then I realize I don’t know who I am and who I am can be manipulated and if I’m not me, who is?
Much simpler to think of the issues at hand though. So here’s how I understand it, Doozer told the boss he sucks dick, and the boss isn’t the type to take kindly to that. I would do well to Sub-Zero soccer punt him into the fourth row. Do well to make him realize he doesn’t live without Lee Best and HOW, that the legend of Doozer dies here, dies a whimper of a fart joke. Dies in the shadow of Cancer.
I scoff. Doozer’s good being in the shadow of his friends, prop them up. He’s had his career. He’s had his chance. He’s done. If ANYONE’S just collecting a paycheck, it’s the least important part of a four man act. This is a test by Lee. He wants to trim the fat. He cuts Berg and MJF, he slices and dices, and now he leaves the act of punishment to me. Cause Doz’, I’m sure Lee didn’t say it, but they way he looked at you. He promised you a comeuppance. And I can’t help but understand about the timing. You entered his office just after I did. After he offered me a chance, an opportunity to face, ONE of you. Of course it’s you, the one he needs to punish for disobedience. For disregarding the social norms of HOW.
See, Lee thinks I’ll save him 60 grand by breaking one of the eggs. They’ll still sell the same amount of merch without the Snah-dooooz.
Hell, could probably lose another and still be just as profitable…
Just sayin’. I’ll fight ‘em all.
I’ll fight whatever you let me.
Can I fight you?