I came to the realization this morning that this won’t actually be the first time we’ve been against each other, Chris. It’ll just be the first time we’ve been in an actual fight against each other, one on one.
Confused? Allow me to elaborate.
Every time I went overseas and did Soldier shit with my boys, we had a guy just like you. Every fucking time; without fail.
You know the guy. Everyone knows that guy.
He bitches and complains. He sits on his dick beaters (that’s hands, you fuckin’ civilian) while the rest of us work our asses off and get the mission done, but complains when it’s time to doThen after all is said and done, and we get stateside, he gets the same medal as the rest of us.
That’s you, Chris. You are that guy.
Just ask Tyler Best.
He did everything and you got the medal.
You won the World Title because Tyler Best said you did. What a shame for the legacy of the HOW World Championship. Sadly, getting the championship off of you will do more for HOW than it will for me. You’ve tarnished it with your bullshit. You’ve added stipulations to a belt that has never needed them just so you could stretch your reign out as long as you could. The only problem for you, is that you’re not as ready for me as you thought you were. As much as you like to hype your War Games win up, you know that deep down in your soul, you wanted no part of me in that match. That’s why you let that golden calf attack me from behind. You weren’t ready then and you aren’t ready now. Picking me as your first opponent is going to be the mistake you’ve ever made in your fuckin’ life.
But don’t you worry you’re little commie head, Chris. I’ll bring the prestige back to the belt and I’ll send your sorry ass back to the house…once and for all. HOW needs me right now and so does Lee Best, whether he chooses to admit it or not.
We’re against each other every goddamn day. You’re just to fucking stupid to realize it.
Every time I walk down the street and see a pothole that hasn’t been fixed, I see your commie face.
Every time I see a homeless veteran after our government sends 40 billion to Ukraine, I see your commie face.
You are the antithesis of what it really means to be an American, you Dollar Store patriot.
You’re bizarro Steve Solex.
You’re Steve Solex on Wish.
I’m concerned about your obsession with The Highwaymen, Chris. It seems to me that you can’t get past the fact that a group of men can band together to work toward a common goal. It’s similar to how the military works, so I can see why you might be confused. So instead of actually dissecting the group for what it is, you make jerk off jokes.
“I’m gonna fuck your wife!”
Way to be, Chris. Way to be.
I’ve heard better fight hype in little Scotty’s PTA meetings. Listening to overprotective Karens argue about what corner they want to have their bake sale on or why their unathletic shithead kid doesn’t get enough playing time in tee ball brings more fire than you do on your best day.
You attempted to call me out on dimensionality and then you went for the proverbial jugular with dick, wife and jack off jokes. I really hope you’re not too dense to see the irony there, you unoriginal prick.
What’s up with all the dick jokes and masturba…you know what, never mind. That shits too easy.
When you lose the world championship and disappear back into your meaningless life, here’s a little something to help you out in your times of need:
Write that number down and put it in your “Made in China” wallet, cause you’re definitely going to want to keep that shit handy. Just don’t be offended, I’m only trying to lend a helping hand to a wanna-be patriot. It’ll be the least I can do, since In a week’s time I’ll be standing over your unconscious and bloodied body holding the world championship up high after I rip it from your commie hands.
While you’re running your mouth. I’m working. Bitch.